Merle sipped her coffee. “Were you a cook? Betcha if you were them boys didn’t have such a hankering for home-cooked food.”
“Would you believe me if I told you I was a sniper?” Sharlene asked.
Merle set the coffee down with a thud. “Were you?”
“Yes, I was,” Sharlene said.
“Well, I reckon I owe you a thanks for your contribution in keeping my country safe first, Texas safe second, and my sorry ass safe third. Did you actually have to use your training?”
“I did.”
“How often?”
“I didn’t keep count.”
“Why are you telling me?” Merle asked.
“I have nightmares and wake up all sweaty and scared. Sometimes I forget to exhale in my sleep. I always inhaled and blinked twice for good luck. When I wake up I’m still trying to suck in air and forgetting to exhale. My chest hurts and my heart is beating so fast it feels like I’ve run a marathon.”
Merle nodded seriously. “How many women do that job over there?”
“That field isn’t open to women.” Sharlene slid the cookies into the oven. “While they’re cooking, I’ll make punch. A can of pineapple juice, one can full of water, two cups of sugar, two packages of red Kool-Aid, and a two-ounce bottle of almond extract.” She counted off the ingredients on her fingers as she added them to the gallon jug. When that was finished she made another one.
“Then you just put ice and ginger ale into that when it’s in the punch bowl, right?” Merle asked.
“See you remembered. You could do all of this, Merle Avery.”
She smiled and part of the wrinkles smoothed out. “Of course I could but I’ve got the jitters about having so many people in my house so I wanted the company. Now tell me more about this sniper business. How in the hell did you wind up in that?”
“Four older brothers and I had to keep up or get left out in the cold,” she said.
Merle shook her head slowly. “I had older brothers and I can shoot the ass end of an elephant if he’s not more than twenty feet from me. That’s not the whole thing, is it?”
Sharlene poured herself a cup of coffee and topped off Merle’s. “I’m very good at it. From the first time Daddy put a gun in my hands, I was at home with it. And I passed the psychological tests that said I could do that job without falling apart in the middle of a mission. They trained me in hospital administration work but the sniper business was classified top secret stuff. Only my spotter knew who I was and what I did and he was killed right beside me one evening. After that if they had something classified for me to do, I did it alone. I did two tours and did my job, Merle. It wasn’t until I got home that I fell apart.”
“So that’s why you didn’t stick with a job very long and was hopping from one thing to another when you lit at the Honky Tonk?” Merle asked.
“I guess so. I didn’t realize it until this minute.” Sharlene looked at the yellow daisies on the wallpaper and the lace valance on the spotlessly clean window above the stainless steel sink. So very different from the bombed out structures she’d hunkered down in so many times.
“Need to talk? It won’t go any further than this kitchen,” Merle said.
Sharlene sipped her coffee. The timer said she had five minutes before the first batch of cookies came out of the oven. “I don’t know.”
“Then you should talk. If you were totally all right with the job you had it wouldn’t be giving you bad dreams. So talk while you cook and I’ll listen. And don’t think you’ll shock me, girl. I watch all them news channels on the television while I’m designing shirts. I see what goes on over there,” Merle said.
“I told Holt a week ago and he was completely turned off by it.”
She told Merle about sitting on his porch because that was where she felt the most peaceful when the walls of the past were closing in on her and went on to tell the whole story leaving out only the part about the kissing.
“Holt Jackson is a good man. If he’s turned off by what I did then will every man in my future act the same way?” Sharlene asked.
“Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit,” Merle said. “I’ve been living in fear that man was your cowboy like Jarod was Daisy’s. I’m so damn sick of bartenders leaving the Tonk. I swear I was ready to buy you out if you’d fallen in love with Holt. Still will if you do.”
Sharlene pulled the cookies from the oven and slipped them off onto a cooling rack. “You said you didn’t want to own a bar.”
“I don’t. But I could buy it and get Luther and Tessa and now Darla to operate it for me. Hell, I might even force Luther and Tessa to get married before I let them manage it for me and that would cure this damn charm shit once and for all,” Merle said.
Sharlene put more cookies on the tray, slid them into the oven, and went back to her perch beside Merle. “You didn’t answer my question.”
“I can’t answer it. Men are all different. Don’t seem like it but they are. Seems like they’re like elephants or zebras. You seen one and you’ve seen them all. I’m not talking about the outside of them. Some are damn fine. Some are uglier than a mud fence with cow shit on it. Some are in between. But most of us women think they’re all alike on the inside. They ain’t. Some are assholes and some are fairly decent. If Holt don’t like what you did and it drains his testosterone then you don’t need him anyway. Next man comes along in your life might not be as pretty as Holt but he might not have any problem with what you did. He might even brag about it in church on Sunday morning,” Merle said.
“Thank you.”
Holt’s deep voice called from the front door. “Hey, anyone home?”
“Speak of the devil and he shall appear wearing blue jeans and a big smile most of the time. We’re in the kitchen,” Merle shouted.
Holt stopped when he saw Sharlene. No woman at home in a kitchen and looking so damn cute with flour on her nose could look down the barrel of a sniper rifle and pull the trigger. She couldn’t be that cold when her kisses were so fiery.
“Hello, Sharlene. Where’s your ugly car?” he asked.
“In the backyard. I came in through the kitchen door.”
“I see. Well, Merle, I brought the last set of blinds to hang and then the job is completely done. All right if I get it done before the kids get out of school?”
She nodded.
“So you’re picking the kids up today?” Sharlene asked.
“You’re busy with this stuff and I don’t have anything to do until Monday. I’ll pick them up today and tomorrow,” he said.
“What’s happening on Monday?” she asked.
“We’re going to build Betty and Elmer Cantrell a new barn with a tack room and horse stalls. Should take until just before Christmas if the weather stays decent,” he said.
“And after that?”
“Never know. I expect we’ll have done about all we can in this area by then. I’ll get those blinds and put them up now,” Holt said.
“Can I watch?” Sharlene asked.
Merle shook her head. “Hell, no, you can’t watch. You got cookies to make and you got to entertain me so I don’t get all antsy. The room will be unveiled in a ceremony and you don’t get to see ahead of time.”
“Ah, come on.” Sharlene grinned. At least Holt didn’t snarl when he saw her even if the way he scanned her from head to toe didn’t exactly give him droopy bedroom eyes.
“I’ll go on out and bring them in. It’ll only take a few minutes and then I’ll be out of your way,” Holt said.
“You serious about me not getting to get the first peek? I should, you know, since I’m the only one in here making cookies and punch. It could be my reward for helping,” Sharlene teased.
“No way. Only reason Holt gets to see it is because he built it and he’s putting in the last set of blinds. We had to order them special because the corner window panel was so narrow. Pay attention to your cookies. Just because the whole kitchen is het up from y’alls hot little vibes don’
t mean you can forget your job,” Merle scolded.
“It is not!” Sharlene countered.
“Oh, honey. You are either dumb or blind. Maybe both. You can bury your sweet little red head in the sand all the way up to your ass but it won’t change things. Whether you act on the feelings or not is what will make a difference. Way that man looks at you is visual porn. Y’all been to bed or something?” Merle asked.
Sharlene blushed scarlet. “No, we have not!”
“Methinks you are protesting too loudly, darlin’,” Merle laughed.
“Okay, okay. We’ve been to bed but we haven’t had sex. Once when I was passed out drunk in Weatherford. Remember when I went to meet my friends? Well, he showed up at the bar and took me to my hotel. We slept together but nothing happened and then once when we went to my folks house. I took a nap out in the barn. Again nothing happened. Then there was a night when we both fell asleep on his sofa but the kids were in the next room. So we’ve slept together but we have not had sex. And all those nights I didn’t dream, Merle. What does that mean?”
Merle groaned. “That means you will be selling me the Tonk.”
“It’s not for sale. So forget it. And what makes you think that?”
“I’m old, honey. I’m not stupid,” Merle said.
“You are also full of shit,” Sharlene said. “Why isn’t he back in here yet?”
Merle rolled her eyes. “Lord, you missin’ him already?”
“No, I’m just wondering where he is?”
“He’s in the new room. There’s a door on the south side so I can go out into the garden. Next year I’m putting flower beds back there. Already got me one of them fancy park benches. I like to go out front and talk to Ruby when the flowers are in bloom. Next year I’m moving her memories to the garden. Don’t look at me like I’m crazy. I still miss her and it makes me feel good to visit with her every day. So to hell with anyone who doesn’t like it,” Merle said.
“Hey, I’m not saying a word. Remember, I’m the one with nightmares and who can’t sleep except when Holt holds me and now he can’t even look at me because I was an army sniper,” she said.
Why would I need a man to make me feel safe anyway? I could outshoot him any day of the week and most likely protect him. Maybe it’s not the physical safe I crave but the one inside my heart that says Holt could make me whole again. He could make it all right that I was a sniper.
“Where is your mind?” Merle asked softly.
“Somewhere where it damn sure shouldn’t go on a regular basis.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s scary as hell when I go there.”
Merle frowned. “Why?”
“Can’t explain. It just is. Let’s talk about the guest list. Is Chigger coming?”
“She called last night. She’ll be here but she’s leaving her daughter with Billy Bob’s wife. Larissa is coming and bringing Ruby and Henry. Hank has to be off in Abilene at a cattle sale. Daisy and Cathy neither one can come but said they’d drop by and have coffee with me when they come for the Honky Tonk Christmas,” Merle said.
“I can’t wait. We’re going to have a grand opening for the new addition and I’m going to have books there to sign for anyone who wants to buy one, and we’re going to play that song. The maintenance man already has an order for it to be installed that week,” Sharlene said.
“You ever listen to the words real good? Alan Jackson says that he’s going to have a Honky Tonk Christmas because his woman broke his heart. He says that he’s going to be over her by New Year’s Eve,” Merle asked.
“Sounds like a damn fine plan to me. It’s my new favorite song,” Sharlene answered.
Chapter 15
“Whooeee,” Chigger whistled under her breath when Holt walked into Merle’s new room. “If that ain’t sex on a stick then there ain’t no heaven. Where’d he come from and where y’all been hidin’ him?”
“He’s the contractor and he’s been right out in the open and girl, you are married,” Merle said.
“Yeah, but I can still admire the candy in the window even if I am on a diet,” Chigger laughed.
Holt scanned the room. JC, Frank, and Elmer were over beside the new pool table. Betty and Janice were staring out the window into what would be gardens come next spring. Finally, his eyes rested on Sharlene standing beside a tall blonde. She wore a lacy blouse and jeans. The sparkle of a double heart rhinestone belt buckle took his eye and he wished her entwined hearts was a symbol of their relationship. But after last night that door was shut forever. He’d lain awake for hours wishing he could redo the whole scene.
Merle motioned to him. “Holt, come in and meet Chigger.”
The tall blonde extended her hand. “Hello, handsome.”
“I’m pleased to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.” Holt shook her hand.
Chigger laughed. “I expect you have and hopefully it wasn’t all good. Darlin’, if I wasn’t married you’d be at the top of my list today.”
She was as tall as Holt. Her hair was blonder than what God gave her, thanks to good hair dye. Dark brown eyes sparkled with mischief.
Merle stepped between them. “Don’t you love my new room?”
“It’s almost as pretty as the contractor,” Chigger flirted.
Holt blushed.
Sharlene grinned.
“Down, girl,” Merle laughed. “Jim Bob would hate to have to defend your honor.”
Chigger laughed. “It don’t hurt to look, Merle. The ring on my finger just says I’d better not touch. Where’s Cathy and Daisy?”
“They are not coming until Sharlene’s Christmas thing.”
Chigger gave Holt a broad sexy wink. “Honey, wild horses or wild men couldn’t keep me away that day if this is what’s going to the Honky Tonk these days.”
“You could have warned me,” Holt whispered to Sharlene when Chigger moved across the room toward the refreshment table.
“I did. You didn’t believe me. Aren’t you glad you weren’t adding on to the Honky Tonk back when she was there every Friday and Saturday night?” Sharlene’s green eyes twinkled.
“Some friend you are. You’d let her back me up in a corner and do mean things to me,” Holt said.
“I expect Jim Bob would keep that from happening.”
“Sharlene!” Judd tugged on her hand. “Look at me. Do you like it? I fixed it up all by myself.” She wore a denim skirt, a hot pink sweater, and her new pink cowboy boots.
“You are simply gorgeous, princess. And did Waylon get himself dressed too or did Holt help him?”
“Uncle Holt picked out his shirt and jeans. Boys ain’t supposed to be all fancy. Just us girls. You look beautiful,” Judd said.
“Can I have her?” Chigger asked as she rejoined the group.
“You got one,” Sharlene told her.
“But she’s not old enough to tell me I’m beautiful yet. Where’s your momma, darlin’?” Chigger asked.
“She got dead in a wreck. Uncle Holt takes care of us now. I got to go find Waylon. He gets scared at big people things.”
“You’ve got to fill me in on that story, Sharlene. I’ve missed the Honky Tonk and all the gossip. I’m probably so far behind I couldn’t ever catch up now,” Chigger said.
“It’s a very long story.”
“Then give me the sixty-second news clip version and save the rest until later,” Chigger said.
“Okay. Their mother was killed in a drunk driver accident. Holt is her brother and only living relative so he took charge of the kids. I’ve been watching them some. They are a hoot. Someday I’m…” Sharlene stopped. She’d been about to say that she intended to have a dozen just like them. She couldn’t have a dozen kids with no husband and besides, she wouldn’t do that to a child. In today’s world a kid had to have two parents to survive, or did they? Holt seemed to be doing a fine job of being a single parent.
“Someday you are going to what?” Chigger asked.
“I’m going
to miss them when Holt’s construction company finishes up their jobs around here and moves away from here. Look, there’s Amos. How long’s it been since you’ve seen him?”
Chigger smiled. “Too damn long. Amos, you old sinner, come over here and give me a hug.”
“That’s the pot calling the kettle black, ain’t it, Chigger,” Amos yelled.
Sharlene left them to visit and made sure the punch bowl was full. The room was absolutely beautiful. She loved the way the glass walls brought the sun into the room. The garden was just stone pathways and dirt now but next spring it would come alive with color and that would flow into the room with the bright light.
“So?” Holt asked from behind her.
Her heart skipped a beat. “So what?”
“Do you like it?”
“The room?” she asked.
“What else would I be talking about?”
“I’m pea green with envy. I wish I’d put my money into a room like this for myself rather than adding on to the Tonk,” she answered.
He cocked his head to one side. “Seriously?”
“No, but someday I’m having a house with a room just like this. If you aren’t around to build it for me, I’ll bring the carpenter out here to see exactly what I want. You didn’t file a patent on the room, did you?”
“Thank you and no, I’m not sure you can file a patent on a room design. And if you could, then that would be up to Merle. She’s the one who designed it; I just followed her directions.” His eyes locked with Sharlene’s and neither of them could break the gaze.
The house was full of people standing in groups of two to five discussing everything from the new room, to how long Merle had lived in Mingus, to hay crops. Elmer Cantrell said a few words to Frank and JC and started toward the refreshment table. But Holt and Sharlene were alone. He wanted to lean forward and kiss her. She wanted to drag him out of the house and back to her apartment for more than hot steamy kisses.
Elmer was talking when they both blinked at the same time. “…got every woman in the county talking about how she’d like a room like this nailed up to the back of their house and what they’d do with it. Betty says she’d use it for a den. Sounds like a hell of an idea to me. I couldn’t even see the television until after the sun set every evening for the glare.”
Honky Tonk Christmas Page 23