by Joan Lingard
‘But it’s the enemy that’ll die,’ cried Brian.
‘You’re not such an eejit as to believe that.’ Kevin shook his head. ‘If there’s bullets flying your mother could be standing in the road, or mine.’
He walked over to the door.
‘So you won’t be one of us?’ said Brian slowly. ‘Traitor!’
‘Call me what you like. There’s dozens of Catholics who aren’t one of you either, and don’t you forget that!’
Brian caught him by the arm. ‘If you let on, you know what’ll happen to you.’
‘I won’t let on, I’m no stool pigeon.’ Kevin shook himself free. ‘But be careful what you do with that damned thing. You might blow your own head off with it. You’re thick enough.’
He opened the door and went quickly down the stairs. At the foot he looked back up at Brian, who was standing on the top step. Brian held the rifle in his hands pointed down at him.
Brian laughed softly. ‘Scared?’
Kevin turned his back on him and walked out through the front door into the street.
7
Sadie and Kevin rode to Bangor on the top deck of the bus, in the front seat. The countryside looked lush and pretty; the trees were in leaf and sprays of pink and yellow blossom lingered here and there.
The resort was not busy: it was too soon in the year for holiday-makers. The local inhabitants moved in and out of the shops getting in their stores for the week-end.
Sadie and Kevin walked along by the sea wall enjoying the smell of the sea. The breeze whipped back their hair and tinged their cheeks with pink.
‘It’s good to be out of the town,’ said Sadie with a little skip.
They walked round the bay as far as Pickie Pool, the outdoor swimming pond. They had brought their bathing costumes.
‘It looks icy cold to me,’ said Kevin, staring down at the green water. ‘I’m not sure I fancy it much.’
‘Oh come on, Kevin. Once we’re wet it’ll be O.K.’
Kevin looked doubtful. ‘It’s all right for you. Women have an extra layer of fat on them. They don’t feel the cold so much.’ But he went off to change and reappeared to join her a few minutes later.
‘The first bathe of the year,’ said Sadie, as they stood at the side of the pool.
‘We must be mad going swimming in May. This isn’t the Riviera.’
‘We’re mad anyway,’ laughed Sadie, and in a flash she was up on her toes and diving in neatly. She surfaced gasping.
‘You look like you’ve dived into the Arctic Ocean,’ said Kevin, still hovering on the edge.
‘Coward!’ Her teeth chattered.
That brought him in. She swam away from him with strong even strokes; he pursued her in a fast sprawling crawl. He caught her by the shoulders.
‘What was that you said?’
‘You’re the bravest man this side of the Boyne.’
‘The Boyne? I’m not fond of the Boyne.’ The Boyne was where King William had fought and defeated the Catholics under James II. ‘Let’s say the Shannon.’
Sadie could say nothing more. Her lips were blue. They swam a length and then clambered up out of the water.
‘God, let’s get out,’ said Kevin.
They dressed and went into the restaurant to drink hot chocolate. As they drank, heat gradually returned to their bodies.
‘Boys, I thought the shock would kill me,’ said Kevin. ‘Whose idea was that anyway?’
‘I thought you were one for a challenge?’
He grinned back at her. ‘I’d hardly be here if I weren’t, would I? There’s a few in my street would be having a heart attack if they could see us now.’
‘Let’s forget about your street,’ said Sadie, ‘and mine.’
‘A good idea that.’
They walked round the path beside the sea. They met no one. It was as if they had the whole world to themselves. ‘Wouldn’t it be nice if we did?’ said Sadie. They sat on the rocks and spun stones through the waves vying with one another to see who could throw furthest.
‘You’ve got a good throw for a girl,’ said Kevin. ‘They’re usually hopeless.’ Sadie threw another stone skimming it closely through the waves. ‘You must have known the wrong girls,’ she said.
At midday she unpacked her bag. She had made up a picnic after her mother had gone to bed the night before. Ham and cheese sandwiches, cold sausages, crisps, little sponge cakes and a bottle of Coca-Cola.
‘Fancy you being domesticated,’ said Kevin, watching with admiration.
‘I’m not. But I like my grub.’
They were ravenously hungry after their bathe. They ate everything. There was supposed to be enough there for our tea as well,’ said Sadie.
‘Who cares? I’ll buy you a meal in a café. I’m loaded.’
‘So you’re rich, eh?’
‘Yesterday was pay day. By Monday most of it’ll be spent. That’s the way it goes.’
That was the way it went for her too. They kept finding things on which they agreed, attitudes they shared.
They returned to the town and their mood changed again. They sampled the amusement arcades playing the pin ball and fruit machines and even trying their luck at the shooting gallery. Kevin proved to be a good shot. Sadie watched his concentration as he lined up his target, his dark eyes intense, his hand steady. He won first prize.
‘You’re a dab hand with a gun,’ she said.
And then he thought of Brian with a gun hidden under his bed and of him standing with it in his hands at the top of the stairs, and he frowned.
‘What’s wrong?’ asked Sadie.
‘Nothing. Let’s go.’
He led the way out of the arcade and she followed, puzzled. But outside he smiled again and she forgot the look of blackness on his face. She lived in the present too much to worry about even the moment before.
‘Candy floss, madam?’ He presented her with a large mound of pink froth.
They visited the harbour to look at the boats, hesitating for a long time over the one they would choose in which to sail round the world.
He took her hand and led her on again. The day was endless, full of delight and variation. A day of bright sky and white-tipped green water and seagulls wheeling overhead.
After they had eaten at tea-time they wandered round the bay to Ballyholme and went down on to the sands. They found a sheltered place in which they could sit shielded from the wind. Sadie took off her sandals and rubbed her feet in the sand.
‘I feel happy,’ she said.
‘Me too.’ Kevin lay back with his hands clasped behind his head. She rolled on to her stomach and looked down at his face. ‘Funny we should get on so well together.’
‘Funny?’
‘Well, you know what I mean. With so many things against it.’
‘Only one. And that doesn’t seem to matter.’
‘No. Not when we’re together.’
‘Does it bother you when we’re not?’
‘I don’t know. In a way. I find it odd when I think about you going to things like –’ she paused ‘– confession.’
‘It’s part of my religion.’
‘It’s a part I don’t like, Kevin. Would you confess to the priest that you were going with a Protestant girl?’
He sat up. ‘There’s no law against it. It’s not a mortal sin.’
‘I hate the word sin.’
He shrugged.
She sat up too and looked him in the face. ‘Don’t you resent the power the priests have over you?’
They don’t have that much power,’ he muttered.
‘Of course they do,’ she insisted.
‘You know nothing about it.’ His voice had a hard edge.
Give over, a voice inside her was saying, but the stubbornness in her would not let it lie.
‘And those statues and things. I don’t know how you can bring yourself to pray to them.’
‘Aye, and what about your lot?’ His temper was surging. ‘Worshipping
a silly old Dutchman dead these three hundred years.’
‘We don’t worship him.’
‘Ah, for God’s sake!’ He stood up. ‘King Billy on his white horse. Long Live King Billy! Keep the Micks down!’
‘If there were more of you than there were of us you’d soon keep us down.’ Sadie’s eyes blazed. Her father’s words, cut into her mind.
‘So you’re afraid, that’s what it is!’ He laughed contemptuously, and at that moment she hated him.
He turned on his heel and walked away. She let him go. She watched until he was out of sight. Now she was alone on the sands. The sky was covered with grey cloud, the sun gone for the day. A spot of rain touched her cheek. She sat with her chin on her knees glowering at the grey water. Their beautiful day was spoiled.
Another spot of rain. Let it pour. She did not care if she was soaked and caught pneumonia and died. Maybe then he would be sorry. He was no better than the rest of them.
The rain began to come down, first in a fine drizzle and then in a solid sheet. She felt hands on her shoulder pulling her up.
‘Stupid twit!’ he shouted at her and hauled her across the darkening sand. They ran to a shelter and once inside, stood there panting, looking at one another, Sadie’s hair hung in long wet strands to her waist.
‘Get your towel out and dry yourself,’ he said, and she did so.
She took off her anorak and he shook it vigorously. He looked angry yet, his eyes were black and there was no hint of a smile. He must hate her, she thought.
‘Did you want to catch your death out there?’ he demanded.
She shook her head. She swallowed deeply and then she said, ‘I’m sorry.’
His mouth softened. ‘That’s all right. I’m sorry too.’
‘No, no, it was my fault. I have a terrible tongue on me at times, my mother’s always telling me.’
He laughed, put out his hand and smoothed her hair. ‘It was all silly anyway.’
She nodded. ‘I’m glad you came back for me.’
There was a time when he would have been too proud to go back but when he had returned and seen her crouching on the wet beach he knew he could not walk away.
‘Did you think I’d leave you sitting there all alone on the sands?’
He helped her put her anorak on and laid his hands on her shoulders. ‘You look like a drowned rat,’ he said and then he kissed her.
She moved nearer to him. She linked her hands round the back of his neck and rested her cheek against his sweater. Outside the rain beat down, hissing on the pavement, drumming on the roof of their shelter. They stayed there until it ceased, holding one another close. It was time then to go for the last bus home. They walked through the wet streets, arms around one another’s waists, feeling dazed and damp, but not caring about the dampness.
As they came into the bus station they saw the rear end of the Belfast bus sliding away. Kevin broke free from her and ran after it shouting, but the bus gathered speed and was soon heading for the open road leaving them behind.
‘Last bus, son,’ said a conductor, who was on his way homewards.
‘Sadie,’ said Kevin with mock solemnity, ‘that was the last bus.’
‘I don’t care,’ she said dreamily. ‘We could go back and sit on the sand.’
‘And get washed away with the tide! We’ll have to try and hitch a lift.’
They set out on the road. Kevin thumbed several cars but they swept past with their lights blazing. It was not easy to get a lift at night. Drivers were wary of picking up strangers these days. They walked fairly briskly to keep themselves warm and as they walked they sang. He sang ‘The Wearing of the Green’ and she sang ‘The Sash My Father Wore’ and then they laughed together.
‘Our parents would have a fit if they could hear us,’ said Kevin.
‘Hey, just a minute, here’s another car coming and it’s not travelling as fast.’
It chugged towards them. What it lacked in speed it made up for in noise. Kevin held up his thumb. It stopped.
‘Hurrah!’ shouted Sadie.
Kevin led her to the car and opened the passenger door. He peered inside to have a word with the driver.
‘Glory be!’ he said. ‘It’s Uncle Albert.’
8
Uncle Albert peered back. ‘Is that you, Kevin boy?’
‘It is.’
‘What are you doing out here at this time of the night?’
‘Looking for a lift.’
The engine shuddered and died. ‘Blast it,’ said Uncle Albert. ‘This is a pig to start once it stops.’
‘I know that!’ said Kevin. ‘Uncle Albert, I’ve a friend here with me. This is Sadie. Sadie, this is my father’s brother.’
Uncle Albert leaned over to take Sadie’s hand. ‘Pleased to meet you, Sadie.’
‘How do you do, Mr McCoy.’
‘Are you getting in then, the two of you?’
‘We’ll get in the back,’ said Kevin.
‘And then you can have a wee cuddle, eh?’ Uncle Albert chuckled.
Sadie giggled. She thought Uncle Albert might well be to her liking. Kevin tugged open the door and they slid on to the back seat. They sank into the middle of it. The springs had gone a long time ago.
‘You’ll need to tie up the handle, Kevin,’ said Uncle Albert. ‘The catch is busted. I wouldn’t be wanting you to fall out on a corner.’
Kevin tied up the handle with the piece of string dangling from it, and settled back with his arm round Sadie.
‘Right, we’re off!’ Uncle Albert pulled the starter. Nothing happened. He cursed, tried again.
‘Looks like you’ll need a push.’ Kevin untied the string and climbed out. He went round to the back of the car and pushed. They moved off by inches, gradually gathering a little more speed, and then with a splutter the car sprang to life again.
Uncle Albert slackened speed so that Kevin could catch them up. He got into the car panting.
‘We’ll be all right now,’ said Uncle Albert. ‘Once it gets going there’s nothing to worry about.’ They chugged along slowly, being overtaken by anything else that was on the road. There’s life in the ould thing yet, Kevin. I always get there in the end.’
‘Been in Bangor, Uncle Albert?’
‘I was seeing a man about a greyhound. Fine beast. I was tempted. But the missus’d have given me hell if I’d brought it back.’
Kevin laughed, imagining the torrent of words Uncle Albert’s wife would have poured out if he had returned with a dog.
‘Haven’t see you before, have I, Sadie?’ Uncle Albert half turned to have another look at Sadie. The car swerved slightly.
‘Keep your eyes on the road, for dear sake, Uncle Albert. You nearly had us in the ditch.’
‘Have you been keeping her hidden, Kevin? You’re a right lad! Where do you live then, Sadie?’
‘Not far from Kevin,’ said Sadie, smiling to herself in the darkness.
‘Funny I’ve never seen you before. I’d have remembered a girl like you if I had. You know how to pick them, Kevin.’
‘Don’t listen to him, Sadie,’ said Kevin. ‘He’s full of smooth talk.’
They exchanged a few bits of banter. Sadie was enjoying herself. She liked the unexpected, missing the last bus, getting a lift in a funny old car. Tommy led such a dull, predictable life, going for walks with Linda, taking her to the cinema. They had the odd tiff but even they were dull and predictable: Linda would go off in the sulks and come out of them when she saw that she might be on the verge of losing Tommy.
Kevin sniffed. ‘You don’t smell burning rubber, do you?’
‘Burning rubber?’ said Uncle Albert. ‘You’re imagining things. Sure anyway there’s always a bit of a smell in this ould car. What else could you expect with the age she is?’
‘It’s just as well they don’t have those Ministry of Transport tests over here the way they do in England. You’d never get it through.’
‘Tests!’ scoffed Uncle Albert. ‘I
wouldn’t have anything to do with them. Never sat an exam in my life. Always mitched on the days they had them. Not like your da, Kev. He was a serious scholar.’
It hadn’t got him very far, thought Kevin, working on a building site, but then he had had to leave school to help support his family. Just as he had had to do. He and his father were both eldest sons.
Sadie sniffed. She too fancied she could smell something burning but perhaps Uncle Albert was right: it was just part of the car. He must know it better than they did.
They came to a road junction where they had to stop. As soon as the car stopped the engine gave up too. Uncle Albert shook his head; Kevin untied the string and got out again.
‘It’s all right, Sadie,’ said Uncle Albert. ‘Another push and we’ll be away.’
But Kevin opened the door and said urgently, ‘There’s smoke coming out of the bonnet.’
Uncle Albert and Sadie jumped out quickly. Kevin lifted the bonnet and a cloud of steam gushed up into the air.
‘Bless us!’ said Uncle Albert, scratching his head. ‘What the devil’s the matter with that then?’
‘When did you last put water in?’ said Kevin.
‘Only yesterday.’
‘Looks like your thermostat might be away.’
Uncle Albert rested his hands on his hips and shook his head. He was not a member of any motoring organization, naturally not, and he had not enough money on him to seek help at a garage. He had a friend who would be able to come out from Belfast the next day and take a look at it for him. Uncle Albert always had friends who could fix things but in the meantime they would have to abandon it. It grieved him to have to leave it lying on the road so far from home. They pushed it over to the side and back a little way from the junction.
‘It won’t blow up, will it?’ asked Sadie.
‘No, no.’ Kevin took a cloth, wrapped it round his hand and unscrewed the cap to let the rest of the steam escape.’ It’ll stop in a minute.’ When it did, he put down the lid of the bonnet.
‘I hope no one siphons off me petrol,’ said Uncle Albert.
‘I don’t think you need worry too much about that.’