“Then…” She frowned, tucking strands of shiny black hair behind her ear. “You think they followed my family?”
“I don’t know, but when it comes to keeping you safe, I want to think of all the possibilities.”
“I wish you’d stop saying that.”
“What?”
“That you have to keep me safe. You don’t. I’m capable of keeping myself safe,” she said, but there was no heat in her voice and no fire in her eyes. It was as if she spoke by rote, reciting a well-worn phrase that had no meaning.
“I’ve got no doubt of that, Morgan, but I’ve always figured it was easier to face danger with someone than to face it alone.”
“The last thing I want is to put other people in danger because of me.”
“You’re not.”
“Then what do you call what happened at my place? You were shot at, Jackson. You could easily have been killed.”
“I’m not saying there isn’t danger involved in being with you. I’m simply saying that you’re not the cause of it.”
“Then who is? My dead ex-husband? His girlfriend, or his parents? Some nameless, faceless enemy who wants something I can’t give him?”
“Yes.”
“Yes?”
“They’re all responsible. They all have a part to play in it. You’re the innocent bystander in this.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, Jackson. I chose to be with Cody. I chose to marry him despite some niggling doubts about his ability to love anyone beside himself. I chose to stay with him for two years after I first began to suspect he was cheating on me. In that sense, I caused everything that has happened.”
“Hindsight is twenty-twenty.” He had good reason to know it. He’d spent more time looking back at the year before Lindsey’s death than he had looking forward.
“That’s the hard thing about life. It’s so easy to see what should have been done and said, but so impossible to go back and change it,” she said, smiling wanly.
“It’s going to be okay, Morgan.” He did what he knew he shouldn’t and slid his arm around her shoulders, tugging her in closer to his side.
“You keep saying that.”
“Because I keep believing that it’s true.”
“I wish I had your faith.”
Faith? Is that what it was?
“Morgan, Jackson! You made it.” Lauren’s enthusiastic greeting echoed over the sound of quiet conversation, and Morgan shifted, the subtle movement just enough to pull her away from Jackson’s arm.
“Did you expect me to do anything else?” she asked as her sister approached, the softness in her voice and face speaking of the love she had for the teen.
“I didn’t, but Mom and Dad said you probably wouldn’t be here. They said you weren’t going to get up early when you didn’t have to just because I asked you to.” Lauren scooted past Jackson and Morgan and dropped down onto the pew.
“I guess I proved them wrong. Where are they?”
“Coming. They’ve been stopped in the hall by every single woman here.”
“Why’s that?” Jackson asked.
“Because Ben is here. He’s one of the best-looking single guys to ever grace these halls. Every time he comes for a visit, women swoon.”
“That must be making our brother happy,” Morgan said with a smile.
“He looks like he’s ready to bolt.”
“Maybe I should go save him.”
“I think staying here is a better idea,” Jackson responded, grabbing Morgan’s hand when she began to stand. Staying put was better than wandering around. At least here, he had a good view of the entrance and a clear view of everyone in the small room.
He didn’t say that, but Morgan seemed to understand. She sank back onto the pew, nodding tightly. “You’re right.”
“Yeah. Why waste the time and effort? It’s not like any of the single women around here are going to stop stalking Ben because you’re standing beside him,” Lauren said, completely oblivious to the tension. “Look in the front pew, Morgan. See the guy with the dark hair?”
“Yes.”
“That’s Max. Isn’t he cute?”
Jackson couldn’t help himself. He looked. There were a couple of teens on the front pew. The dark-haired one was lanky, with shaggy hair and an open, friendly expression. Hopefully it mimicked his personality.
“Yes. Are you two dating?” Morgan replied, and Lauren shook her head.
“Not unless you count going out in a group. Which we’re doing this afternoon. The youth group is going to a local convalescent center to sing. You’re not going to believe this, but Max and I are going to sing a duet together. Afterward, the group is going to the mall for some ice cream. If I play my cards right, I might just get to sit next to Max.”
Lauren rambled on, and Jackson couldn’t help smiling at her enthusiasm. He remembered the days when life had seemed like an endless party. Friends. Dates. The normal adolescent worries.
His cell phone buzzed, and he pulled it from his pocket, glancing at the caller ID and frowning. Kane. If he was calling this soon, there must be news.
“I’ve got to take this. I’ll be back in a minute,” he said, interrupting Lauren’s monologue.
“Is everything okay?” Morgan asked, the anxiety in her tone obvious.
“I think so. You two stay here, okay? I’ll be back in a minute.”
She nodded, and he hurried out to the parking lot, dialing Kane’s number as he went.
“It’s about time,” Kane said when he answered.
“What’s up?”
“I spoke with Sean’s folks.”
“Yeah? Get any leads from them?”
“A few things. First, Sean was tense and unhappy the last few weeks before he was murdered.”
“Did they know why?”
“They asked, but all he would say was that things at work were hectic and that he had a lot to deal with there.”
“That’s not much to go on.”
“You’re right, and I’m confident the police heard the same thing when they interviewed the Macmillans after their son was murdered.”
“What else?”
“Seems that Sean wasn’t so keen on his business partner’s sense of morality. Nor did he think Cody ranked high in integrity. He complained a few times that their business trips often turned into opportunities for Cody to meet up with other women. I guess he wasn’t so happy to see his friend cheating on his wife.”
“Cody was a real winner. Even his good friend didn’t like him.”
“Seems that way. From what the Macmillans said, the relationship had been strained for a while before Sean was murdered. Of course, that could just be them twisting the past to match with what they now know to be true.”
“It’s possible, but I’ve got a feeling everything they’re saying is right on. Do they have any of Sean’s things? Work files? E-mail files?”
“It’s all in storage, and here’s the last point of interest.” There was an edge of excitement to Kane’s voice that Jackson didn’t miss. Whatever was coming was going to be good. “Four weeks ago, someone broke into the storage unit. Went through everything. Even stole Sean’s computer system.”
Bingo!
“Did they report it to the police?”
“Yes, and they think some forensic evidence was collected at the scene. Maybe a fingerprint, but they’re not sure.”
“I’ll have to call and find out.”
“I’m already ahead of you. The Macmillans are in Pennsylvania, and I’ve put in a call to the local police.”
“Thanks.”
“No need to thank me. Just make sure you’re back and ready to work next week. I’ve got a full docket of cases, and I need you here ASAP.”
“I’ll do my best,” Jackson responded, saying goodbye quickly and shoving the phone back into his pocket.
It would be interesting to read the transcripts of Cody’s trial, see if the prosecution had used the Macmillans as witnesses.
They’d obviously had no love for their son’s business partner and obviously didn’t believe Sean had been murdered because he’d been having an affair with Morgan.
After church, Jackson would make a few calls. See if he could get his hands on the trial transcripts. Right now, though, what he needed to do was get back into church.
He hurried through the quiet hall and stepped into the sanctuary, the sound of a hundred voices lifted in praise filling his ears. His gaze jumped to the pew where he’d left Morgan, and he half expected her to be gone. She wasn’t. Sue, Richard and Ben were settled in beside Lauren, standing together pressed shoulder to shoulder, a hymnal held between them. Morgan was to their left near the end of the pew.
She met his eyes as he slid in beside her.
“Who was it?”
“My boss, Kane Dougherty. He’s been searching for Sean’s parents.”
“Did he find them?”
“Yes. They said that Sean and Cody had a strained relationship during the months before their son’s death.”
“Old news. They brought that up at the trial. It was one of the prosecuting attorney’s major themes.”
“I figured as much, but they were able to tell Kane something a little more interesting. The storage facility where the Macmillans were keeping Sean’s things was broken into a month ago.”
“Was anything taken?”
“His computer system. Could be that fits with a standard robbery. Could also be that the system was taken in an effort to find that missing disk.”
“Are you two going to whisper sweet nothings into each other’s ears all day? Or are you going to sing?” Lauren said loudly enough for the woman in front of her to turn and look.
Jackson chuckled, but Morgan didn’t look amused.
“We’re not whispering sweet nothings,” she hissed in her sister’s direction.
“But we could be,” he said, leaning close and speaking so softly he knew only she could hear.
She stiffened, her eyes flashing with irritation, but there was something else in her gaze. Fear? Worry?
“You don’t have to look so scared, Morgan. I was kidding.”
“I keep telling you I’m not scared.”
“You shouldn’t lie when you’re in church.”
“And you shouldn’t talk when the pastor is getting ready to speak.”
“You should both be quiet. Mom and Dad are going to think I’m the one being disruptive, and then I won’t be able to go with the youth group this afternoon.”
“Sorry,” Morgan said, turning her attention back to the hymnal she was holding and dismissing Jackson completely.
That was fine. They’d have plenty of time to discuss why he made her nervous. After church and after they spoke to Morgan’s friend Shannon.
Friend?
Not if what Morgan and Jackson suspected was true.
It would be nice if it wasn’t. Nice if there was some kind of mistake or misunderstanding, but Jackson wasn’t holding out hope for it.
The hymn ended, and he settled down onto the pew, listening as the pastor began to speak. Tired from an almost sleepless night, Jackson wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep his eyes open for the sermon, but the pastor was animated and he found himself drawn into the words and the truth they offered. It was a simple message of God’s grace. One Jackson had heard a hundred times before. For some reason, this time seemed different. As the pastor spoke of letting go of the past in order to let God into the present, Jackson knew the words were meant for him.
“The past is part of who we are. It formed us and shaped us and brought us to this place, but it does not define us. What defines us now, in this moment, is our relationship with God, our desire to serve Him and our pursuit of His will. We must let go of what was if we are going to embrace what is.”
Jackson turned the pastor’s words over in his head again and again as the sermon continued.
Let go of what was.
Embrace what is.
What defines us now, in this moment, is our relationship with God.
The truth of the words was something Jackson couldn’t deny. He’d avoided church for years, spent a lot of time living life his own way. In the end, that hadn’t been enough to fill the emptiness his sister’s death had left. It hadn’t been enough to ease his guilt or to help him move on with his life.
Maybe the emptiness wasn’t just the spot left by Lindsey’s death. Maybe it was the emptiness of living a life for nothing but self.
The pastor finished speaking and asked the congregation to rise for the benediction. As he prayed, Jackson prayed, too. For forgiveness. For peace. For the kind of relationship with God that he’d never wanted, but that he was beginning to think he needed.
EIGHTEEN
Morgan moved by rote as the congregation filed out into the aisles. The pastor’s sermon had hit home, and she knew she’d have to spend some time thinking about it. Not now, though. Not today. Letting go of the past had ceased to be a possibility two nights ago.
What about having a relationship with God?
The question slipped into her mind and lodged there, filling her thoughts as she stepped out into bright sunshine, Jackson and her family right behind her.
“Are you coming to the house for lunch, dear?” her mother asked, stepping close and taking Morgan’s hand. It was the kind of affectionate gesture Morgan had never gotten used to. In Latvia, life had been about survival rather than love, and Morgan had spent the first nine years of her life avoiding the adults who seemed to come and go with abandon.
“I’d like to, but I’m meeting Shannon Mallory at noon.”
“Your friend from college?”
“Yes.”
“I didn’t know the two of you still kept in touch.”
“We haven’t, but since I was in town, I thought I’d look her up.” That was all she would say for now. Sharing the rest with her family wasn’t something she felt prepared to do. They probably suspected that Cody hadn’t been faithful. Maybe they even knew it for sure, but Morgan didn’t want to discuss it with them. She didn’t even want to discuss it with Shannon.
“Well, I’m glad you’ll be reconnecting with her. You two were so close during college. Maybe if you finish early enough, you can stop by for dinner. I made pot roast for lunch, and I’m sure we’ll have plenty left over.”
“I—”
“I think that sounds fantastic, Mrs. Alexandria.” Jackson spoke up, taking the decision out of Morgan’s hands.
That was fine with her. She’d come to Spokane to reconnect with the family, forge the bond that seemed to have always been missing when she was a kid.
“Wonderful! I’ve still got that huckleberry pie I promised Morgan last night. Dad and Benjamin wanted to eat it for breakfast, but I refused to cut it. The first piece is always for you.” She squeezed Morgan’s hand, smiling into her eyes, and Morgan’s throat tightened with emotion.
“Thanks, Mom.”
“For what?”
“Remembering that the first slice of huckleberry pie is always for me.”
“You’re my daughter. I remember everything about you.”
“Hopefully not everything, because there’s plenty I’d prefer you forget.”
Her mom laughed and released her hand. “We’ll see you for dinner.”
“You’re sure it won’t be a problem?”
“Of course. It’s actually better this way. Lauren will be home by five. We can all eat together.”
“I’ll see you then,” Morgan said, pressing a kiss to her mother’s cheek and doing the same to her father. Then hugging Benjamin and Lauren.
“Ready?” Jackson asked, opening the car door and waiting while Morgan got in.
“I guess I’m going to have to be.”
“We could wait.”
“For what?”
“For you to be ready.”
“How about you just close the door and we get moving? Putting it off is only making me more anxious.”
Jackson nodded, closing the door and rounding the car. He seemed distracted as he got in, his gaze on the parking lot and the people who were moving through it.
“What’s wrong?”
“Just wondering how long it’s going to take for our late-night visitors to return.”
“Not long enough.”
“That’s exactly what I was thinking. Where are we headed?”
“Take 1–90 to downtown Spokane. Shannon lives on the south hill.”
“Sounds fancy.”
“It is. Her ex-husband is a doctor. They bought the house right after they got married. It was part of her divorce settlement.”
“How long has she been divorced?”
“Four years,” Morgan responded, wiping damp palms on the skirt of her dress. She felt a nervousness way out of proportion to the situation. Whatever had been between Shannon and Cody, it was over. Even if it hadn’t been, even if Cody were still alive and the relationship had continued, it shouldn’t have mattered. Morgan had walked out on Cody two years ago. She had no claim to him. Wouldn’t have wanted one if she’d been offered it.
“What’s she like?”
“Shannon? Pretty, fit, fun to be around. Take this exit and turn left when you get to the bottom of the ramp.”
“And the two of you got along well?”
“For a while. We had similar interests in college. Art, pottery, sculpting and parties. After college, things changed. We both got married. Lived different kinds of lives, but we were still friends until her divorce.”
“And then?”
“We lost touch.”
“Just like that?”
“No. She came to stay with Cody and me after her divorce. She said she needed some time away from Spokane and her family. We were happy to have her.”
“And now you wish you hadn’t?”
Did she? Morgan’s marriage had been troubled before Shannon’s visit. They’d managed to put on a good show, pretend to be a united front, but reality was that they’d been living separate lives. Cody pursuing his business and Morgan pursuing their marriage. “Nothing would have changed what happened between me and Cody, so even if I could go back in time and uninvite Shannon, it wouldn’t make any difference.”
“I was thinking about that during the sermon.”
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