He sighs. “After everything he did, you would give him another chance?”
“I gave you one. Look how that turned out. And he’s your dad. I know he’s a giant asshole, but maybe now that you’ve stood up to him, and he has no control over you, he’ll start acting more like a father, or even a friend.”
Julian laughs. “I wouldn’t count on that.”
“I can’t imagine what it’s like to have a dad who’s an asshole, but I know firsthand that not having him at all will hurt more. Knowing my dad won’t be at my wedding to walk me down the aisle kills me. As much as I hate your father, I want you to have a relationship with him at some point, even if it’s just limited interactions with him.”
“This is one of the many reasons why I love you.”
I smile up at him. “You don’t have to let him back in right away. But you could still have some kind of relationship with him. I can’t deny you something I’ve wanted for most of my life just because he did something awful.”
“He won’t change,” Julian says.
“Then, at least you can say you tried one last time.”
“Hockey needs to work out.”
“I hope you get drafted,” I say. “I hope all of the sacrifices you made to be with me will be worth it and that you at least get a pro hockey contract out of all of this.”
He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “It doesn’t matter. Whatever happens, I can take it.”
“I know. I might not like hockey or understand it, but I still want that for you. I want a lot of things for you. I don’t want you to give up anything you love to be with me.”
“Have I told you lately that you’re the best girlfriend ever?” He says the words against the shell of my ear, causing me to shiver.
His words bring a wicked smile to my face. “Only every day for the last few weeks.”
My biggest fear is losing Julian again. The road ahead of us won’t be a picnic for him. He’s not used to working for chump change and barely scraping by. He still lives in the hockey whorehouse with his teammates for another week until graduation. We’re planning to move in together but neither of us has money.
“What are we going to do? We have nowhere to live next week.”
“Don’t worry about the future. I have everything covered,” he promises. “I have a few tricks up my sleeve that you don’t know about.”
“Is that so? I thought we share everything.”
He smirks. “Some secrets are good ones. You’ll find out soon enough.”
* * *
One week later, I pack the contents of my dorm room into boxes. With Sadie and Julian’s help, I load my things into the van Julian rented. His stuff takes up so much room there’s just enough for the measly things I own.
Sadie hugs me so hard my chest hurts. “Come visit me in The Hamptons this summer.”
“That’s not my scene. I don’t fit in there.”
Julian groans behind me.
Sadie shakes her head. “Stop it. You fit in everywhere you go. And my dad loves you. He told me to invite you. The pink guest room at the end of the hall is all yours.” She glances over my shoulder at Julian. “You, too. You’re invited. Make sure she comes to see me.”
“I’ll try,” he says. “But I can’t make any promises. You know how much she hates rich people.”
“I don’t hate rich people. I hate snobs. Big difference.”
They both laugh.
“I don’t hate you,” I say to Sadie. “Never, ever. And you’re not a snob like someone I know, so there’s that.”
“Hey,” Julian says. “I’m not a snob anymore.”
“You’re a recovering snob.” I give him a sly grin, and he takes this as his cue to smack a quick kiss on my lips. “And you’re my snob.”
He shakes his head, a smirk forming. “You’re lucky I love you.”
“You’re lucky I let you,” I quip.
“Oh, my God. Stop it, you two, I can’t take all of this cuteness right now.” Sadie wipes a few errant tears from her cheeks and smiles. “Love you, babe. Seriously, don’t be a stranger now that you’re shacking up with this one. I’m gonna miss you. Call me every day.”
I laugh at her silliness. “Every day? I have to work.”
She throws her hands onto her narrow hips. “Every other day then.”
“I can do that,” I promise. “And I’m gonna miss you, too.”
Sadie slides a pair of chunky sunglasses over her eyes and shifts the designer handbag on her shoulder. She waves one last smile before she walks over to the limousine her father sent for her.
“You used to be her,” I say to Julian, leaning against his chest. “You sure this is what you want?”
“Yes.” He wraps his arms around me as we watch Sadie drive off. “I never once had a second thought.”
“I don’t think I’m ever going to stop being insecure,” I say. “So, you’ll have to find a way to deal with it.”
“I know.” He kisses my cheek. “That’s why I tell you every day how beautiful you are and how much I love you. And how I’m never going to leave you. Ever.”
“So, we’re like a forever kinda deal?”
Even though I know his answer already, I had to ask. I hate that I need constant validation. Dr. Saxon says it’s a result of feeling abandoned as a child and having emotional trauma because of it. I try to heal myself, but no matter how much time passes, I can’t shake it. Not completely, anyway. But Julian helps me every day.
He nods against my hair. “Just give me some time to figure things out, and I’ll make our forever permanent. You’re the only woman I’ve ever loved. I want it all with you—marriage, children, the white picket fence, whatever you want.”
“No fountain girls that spit water from their mouths?”
He chuckles. “No, I hate those things. My dad has them all over his estate on Long Island.”
“Well, now that you’re living like the rest of us, we can just put a sprinkler on our front lawn and pretend it’s shooting water from some fancy sculpture.”
“You’re crazy, woman.” He hugs me hard and then releases me. “You ready to go?”
“You still haven’t told me where we’re moving to.”
“It’s a surprise.” He helps me into the front seat and grabs each of my breasts as he buckles my seatbelt for me.
“Pervert,” I say with laughter in my voice.
He winks and then jogs around to the driver’s side.
Twenty minutes later, after fighting loads of traffic, Julian parks beneath a condominium building that overlooks the Delaware River.
“What are we doing here?”
“We live here. Don’t ask questions,” he says when he opens the door for me. He extends his hand, which I gladly take, and slide out of the van. “Just go with it, okay? Or at least wait until after I show you the place.”
“But how?”
He presses his finger to my lips. “No more questions until we get upstairs.”
We ride the elevator up to the twenty-second floor, and when the doors open, we land in a posh sitting room with a long velvet bench, laden in a dark blue fabric. A small, round table sits between two matching chairs. I don’t understand rich people. Why do they need a living room outside of their apartment? It’s weird but looks nice. And apparently, I now live here, which is even weirder.
When we reach the last door at the end of the hallway, Julian removes a key on a long gold chain from his pocket. I hold my breath as he shoves it inside the lock, and my lungs just about drain of air when he pushes the door open. Everything is white and polished, from the tiled floors to the high cabinets in the kitchen. The living room is open concept, with a wall of windows that span the room, opening up to a large balcony that overlooks the Delaware River.
“Holy shit.” My mouth falls open in shock. “We live here?”
He nods.
“How did you afford this?”
“I sold my Maserati to Jami
e, and Preston’s mom hooked me up with this apartment. She owns half of the building. I got a good deal on it.”
“So, let’s recap real quick. You’re not poor?”
He shakes his head.
“And you knew you wouldn’t be?”
He shrugs. “Yes and no. I was hoping my dad wouldn’t fight me on the things that are in my name, like the Maserati, and he didn’t.”
“And you don’t you have to work at Broad Street Beans with me?”
He shakes his head again.
I throw my hands above my head and squeal. “Thank God.”
He laughs. “Why are you so happy about that?”
“Seriously? You’re the worst barista on the planet. I have to keep running behind you and fix the drinks before the customers get them. It’s exhausting. You make my job ten times harder.”
“I hate coffee,” he groans. “Sorry about that. I tried.”
“I know.” I brush my fingers along his jaw and smile. “At least you’re good at other things.”
He lifts me in his big arms, enveloping me in his masculine scent. “And I’m about to show you a few of those things right now.”
I kiss him, and my head spins from the emotions consuming me. My heart is heavy and full. For the first time in my life, I truly feel free. With Julian, I have always felt that way. I just didn’t know how much until now. We have no more parents to get in the way or bitchy rich girls to butt into our business.
He’s mine. All mine.
And he chose me.
We chose each other.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Briana: One year later
Looking into the floor-length mirror in front of me, I have no idea who’s staring back at me. My long brown hair is curled and styled, half of it pinned up, the rest flowing down my shoulders. A mixture of grays, black and blues round out my eyes. I don’t know a damn thing about hair or makeup. Sadie helped me pick this look from a bridal magazine.
I had no idea where to begin after Julian proposed. He was so adorable, dressed in a suit and down on one knee with the perfect ring in hand. Not the big diamond anyone would expect from the son of a billionaire. Well, he’s still not rich. And we still don’t need his father’s money. But his proposal was perfect. He took me to dinner at the steakhouse where we had our first date. And when the dessert came, Julian took my hand and asked me to marry him.
I hold up my hand, the bright sapphire on my ring finger shining under the florescent lights above. Julian said it reminded him of my eyes. It’s perfect, like Julian.
“Babe, seriously, you look amazing,” Sadie says, coming up behind me, dressed in the strapless navy bridesmaid gown she picked out. “Julian is gonna die when he sees you.”
“Let’s hope not. I kinda need him breathing.”
Sadie chuckles. “You look so good. I still can’t believe you let me plan your wedding.” Sadie sniffs back her tears. “I’m so happy for you. Everything is going to be amazing. The patio looks incredible and so does the aisle. Wait until you see it. The event planners stepped up their game for this one.”
If not for my best friend, I would have been lost. I’d never even attended a wedding before today. As usual, she saved the day. She helped make my wedding perfect.
“Thank you.” I turn around to hug her, careful not to mess up either of our makeup. Sadie already warned me about that a few times. “You’re the best friend a girl could ever have. And thanks for letting us use your house to get married.”
“Of course. I told you to visit me in The Hamptons, and you never came. But I’m glad you’re here now.”
When I called Sadie and told her I was engaged, she had insisted we marry at her beach house in Southampton. Julian’s dad owns a house a few blocks away. My eyes practically fell out of my skull as we drove through The Hamptons. I knew Sadie and Julian were rich, but seeing these houses—no, mega-mansions—was a total eye-opener. I could fit a hundred of my foster homes on a single property here.
“Don’t be nervous,” Shannon says with a flute of champagne in hand. “It’s not every day you get to marry the love of your life. You’ll remember this day forever.”
“I’m not nervous. Julian is the love of my life.”
“Don’t trip,” Bex says with laughter in her voice. “That will make you even more nervous.”
“Thanks for that. Now, I’m thinking about falling on my face. Awesome.”
Bex tilts her head back and laughs. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to freak you out. That’s my biggest fear. I hate wearing heels. They kill my feet.”
“I’m more worried about my boobs popping out of this dress. It’s like they have a mind of their own.” I point at the low-cut top and shake my head. “I think they measured the bust wrong. Either that or my boobs are growing again. Like what the hell is going on?”
Sam appears at my side, toying with the thin strap of her dress. “If you were a wizard, you could fix that no problem.”
“Oh, not another Harry Potter reference,” Bex says.
“All I’m saying is if Briana were a wizard, she could perform a Reducio charm and make them a little smaller.”
Bex shakes her head and laughs.
Sadie moves to my right and lifts a fallen curl, pinning it back into place. “You can do this, babe. Don’t worry about falling or doing anything stupid or charms or whatever they were talking about. I’ll be at your side, holding you up.”
“Thanks for standing in for my dad.”
She pats my arm with a warm smile. “It’s my honor. Thank you for allowing me to do this for you.”
It pains me that my dad isn’t here to celebrate one of the most important days of my life. I miss him so damn much, my mom, too. She would have loved this dress, with all of its layers of tulle, lace, and so many skirts I can’t keep track of them. Sadie helped me choose the perfect gown. I told her it cost too much and that we couldn’t afford Vera Wang. Julian wanted me to have this dress. After Sadie told him how much I loved it, he found a way to make it happen.
The wedding planner steps into the room. “Ladies, are you ready? We’re about to start.”
Sadie extends her arm to me. “Are you ready to become Mrs. Rivers?”
Smiling like an idiot, I hook my arm through hers, and Sadie escorts me out of the dressing room. With all nine of my bridesmaids, I shuffle into the hallway, led by several event coordinators with earpieces they’re talking into. My stomach churns the closer we get to the patio doors. The backyard overlooks the ocean, the view so incredible it’s like something from a movie. I feel like a princess in this dress, and combined with all of the excess wealth around me, this feels like a dream.
Men in suits open the French doors for us. I stare out into the yard that reminds me more of a hotel site than someone’s private residence. Waves break on the shore from a distance. The sounds are so calming I instantly begin to relax. Julian and all nine of his former roommates—Preston, Jamie, Tucker, Trent, Knox, Harker, Nash, Killian, and Drake—stand at his side. All of their girlfriends, who I have become friends with over the past year, are also part of our bridal party. It’s a big group of people to manage. That’s why Sadie hired an event team to coordinate everything.
My side of the aisle is almost empty. It’s pathetic. I have no family, save for a few of my friend’s parents who drove to Southampton for the occasion. Jonathan Rivers is in the front row on the groom’s side along with Julian’s grandmother and a few of his relatives. I had insisted Julian at least hear his dad out. He’s an asshole but still his father. Growing up without one, I didn’t want that for Julian. And after Jonathan apologized to me, Julian agreed to speak to his father. They talk on the last Sunday of every month and nothing more. But it’s a start. His dad no longer tries to intervene in our lives. And we still want nothing to do with his money.
Julian wasn’t as lucky as some of his friends when it came to the NHL Draft. Several of his groomsmen were picked by NHL teams and now play in the league. But Julian h
as to work his way up. He earned a place in the AHL on the Lehigh Valley Phantoms roster. With some time and hard work, Julian hopes to work his way up to the Flyers. I’m so proud of him. For most of his life, he was handed everything. He never had to earn it. I love that he’s no longer at the mercy of his father and now makes his own decisions. And I honestly believe that one day his grit and determination will take him where he wants to go.
White chairs are lined up on both sides of the makeshift aisle, decorated in a mixture of red and white rose petals. Our guests turn their heads to look at us, all eyes on me. My cheeks flush from all the attention. I smile and then block them out, so the only person I see is Julian.
My bridesmaids take their turns walking down the aisle. One by one, they disappear, until only Sadie and I are left. And then, the panic sets in. I hate being the center of attention. In my experience, attention is never good. But this time, I have to get my shit together. It’s my big day.
“This is it,” Sadie squeals.
I take a deep breath and let it out. “Holy shit. I can’t believe this is happening.”
“It’s okay, babe.” Sadie stands in front of me and lowers the lace veil in front of my face. “Don’t panic. I can see the wheels turning but don’t let them. I’m right here. You look amazing. Everything is going to be—”
“Amazing,” I finish for her.
“Exactly,” she says with a smile. “Now, are you ready to take your sexy ass down that aisle and marry your hot hockey player?”
I laugh at her words and grab her hand. Sadie tips her head to the main event organizer, and seconds later the song switches. We begin to walk, and at first, all I can think about is not tripping on this gown. I would die from embarrassment if that were to happen. Damn you, Bex. My skin heats from the energy shooting through me, my body shaking like a leaf. Sadie does her best to steady my nerves, clutching my arm tighter.
I nod when I see Dr. Saxon in the crowd. She’s been one of the few constants in my life for a long time. I’m happy she could make the trip to New York. Seeing her helps sooth some of my concern. At least if I have a major meltdown in the middle of the wedding, she’s here to talk me through it. Okay, so I’m still a bit of a nut. But I’m working on it. I’m taking each day one at a time.
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