by Skye Turner
He’s watching me process his words. He adds one more thing. “Liam, all this you’ve told me has been about you. What about her? Is she even open to a relationship with you? All this will be null and void if she’s not willing to take the same steps as you.”
Yeah, what about her? In three days, she’s seen me with multiple women. Over the past few months, she’s seen me with slews of women. She hates me. Or does she? She kissed me back.
I’m so confused.
I look at Paw and he sees the confusion on my face. He sighs and smiles. “Why don’t you take some time to think about it? Verna will have some lunch ready in a few hours. I think it’d be a good time to go visit your brother.” My eyes widen. He smiles. “Yes, boug. I know about that too. I know a lot of things. Go on. Go talk to your brother and then come back. We’ll have some lunch.”
He’s amazing. He’s always been so amazing. I swallow the lump that’s trying to form in my throat and follow him to the house. Grabbing my keys off the doily on the hall table, I head to my truck and out to my spot. It takes a while to get there, but it’s been too long. I need to talk to John. He never answers, but I know he hears me.
On my way out to the water, I grab a six pack. Parking my truck next to the levee, I head out onto the pier overlooking the Basin and bring two beers. As I sit down on the edge and drape my legs over the side a breeze ruffles my hair. I smile as I pop the top off of both beers. Setting one next to me on the pier, I clink the necks of the bottles and take a swig. The breeze is nice today and the sounds of the water, the birds, and the marsh are familiar and relaxing.
Taking another swig, I look at the water and start talking. “Hey, man. I know it’s been awhile. I’m sorry about that. I’ve been busy with touring and Jude got married. Jessie is getting married now, too. He’s actually marrying Blue. Can you believe that shit?!
It’s so crazy, but they are a great couple. He’s a different Jessie with her. I mean he’s still Jessie, and we don’t want him any other way, but he’s just better. You know? He’s happy. I love that they’re happy.
My own life is a mess. I am just a typical rocker. Screwing faceless women all the time. But, well, now there’s a complication… Clove… Dade’s baby sister. She’s living in Dade’s house now and I live there, too. We fight constantly. She’s so different. She’s beautiful, but not like because she works at it. She’s naturally beautiful and she’s smart. She can cook. Oh my God, can she cook. She’s perfect. Like something on a damn Hallmark movie. I hate it. Well, that’s not true. I don’t hate it. I actually kind of dig it. She makes me think. But she hates me. She thinks I’m a disgusting jerk. And I kind of am. She’s caught me with women multiple times now. I repulse her.
I thought I hated her, too. I mean she annoys the shit out of me. But I don’t hate her. I actually like her. I like that she doesn’t fawn all over me. Isn’t that some shit?!
While most women look at me and their eyes light up… she looks at me and it’s like she wants to punch me in the face. Why is it that the one woman I kind of want to fawn over me doesn’t? The universe is cruel, man.
Anyway, there’s more. She’s been dealt a bad hand and life is kind of laughing at her. I hate that. She doesn’t deserve it. She lived in Jude’s house in L.A. and dated the property manager who was an ass. A real creep. He cheated on her and did some bad shit. Some criminal bad shit. She’s also now pregnant. For the said creep. I want to beat his face in. What kind of man does that?
I don’t understand how a man with someone so perfect could throw them away.
I’ve realized lately that the annoyance I feel for Clove… well, it might not be that. Oh, she annoys me plenty. But it gives me a thrill. I like her. I really like her. I think about her in ways that I shouldn’t. She’s so innocent and pure. I mean other than the being pregnant for a criminal thing. And I’m just not. I’m not innocent and I’m damn sure not pure.
I kissed her. I don’t know why and I didn’t plan it, but I kissed her. I kiss a lot of people. This kiss was… different. It actually… meant something. And before she freaked out, she kissed me back…
What do I do, John? I could really use some guidance. I could really use my big brother. And it sucks ass that you’re not here.
It sucks that you died! This is the shit I need you for. You’re supposed to be here. You’re supposed to offer me words of wisdom because you’ve already done all this. But, you aren’t here.
I need your help. I need to know what I need to do. I need to know if I should go after Clove. It’s a big decision and it affects so many people. I just don’t know what to do. I want her, but is it selfish of me to want her? I think I’m bad for her, like I’d taint her or some shit. What if she loses her goodness?
Goddammit, John! Why did you have to die?!”
I don’t get an answer, but then again, I didn’t expect to. It felt really good to get all of that out. Just then the new Luke Bryan song comes on the radio. I read somewhere it was about his brother. I smile as I clink our beers together and finish mine. Then, picking up the trash, I pack it all in the truck, and head back towards town.
Thanks, John. I guess you gave me an answer after all. I miss you, man.
Chapter Ten
Clove
Shopping with Bradi and Blue today was so fun. They spent so much money and refused to let me pay for anything. I have maternity clothes, nursery stuff, and even some neutral baby clothes. They did let me spring for the manicures though and they talked me into a funky pink and lime manicure that is not really me, but I do kind of like it.
I offered to cook them some dinner, but they are both missing their men and decided to head on home after helping me bring all the bags into the house. We stored them in one of the guest rooms near mine. Thank God Dade said I could use one as a nursery; this stuff will never fit in my room.
I also got a call from James Black’s manager this afternoon and he said he heard about my hospital stay and very much wanted to schedule another meeting. I have another interview tomorrow.
I made Blue stop by the grocery store on the way in so I could grab a few supplies. I want to make a few gluten-free chocolate cherry brownie bites and some mini-fruit tarts to take tomorrow. They are both low fat and delicious. I’d like to bring an actual dish, but I don’t know what James’ preferences are yet, and I don’t want to make something he doesn’t like.
I Googled James from the car and found a GQ article where he said he has a sweet tooth, but it was hard for him to find things to satisfy it that weren’t detrimental to his rigorous fitness routine. That’s where the idea for the brownie bites and fruit tarts came from.
I grab my Bose from upstairs and plug my phone in to have some music on while I work in the kitchen. Selecting my playlist, the best of the eighties is soon playing as I dance around while I mix my batter. Once the brownies are in the oven, I slice my fruit before making my custard.
I’m dancing to the music of Top Gun and singing into my wooden spoon when I hear clapping from the doorway to the kitchen. I jump with a start. Dropping the spoon onto the floor, I turn and see Liam standing there. He’s smirking at me and clapping.
I streak across the kitchen and turn the volume down. My heart is racing and not just from the exertion. Turning back around, I look at him. His shoulder is propped against the door frame and he’s watching me.
Why is he watching me? What the hell? Is there something on my face? What is he doing? And why does he keep sneaking up on me!?
He gestures to the Bose. “So, you like Tom Cruise?”
Um, what is this? Is he talking to me?
Smoothing my shirt down, I say tentatively, “Um, what? No, not really. He’s kind of weird. He goes crazy on couches… But I love this movie. I love eighties music. It’s my favorite.” Shit, Clove. Shut up. Stop rambling.
He chuckles. “I heard that. Sorry for interrupting. I called out, but I guess you didn’t hear me over your jam session.”
My face burns with m
y mortification. Oh my God. He saw me dancing and heard me singing. Please God, let the floor open up and swallow me right now.
It doesn’t.
“Yeah. Um, I’m sorry. I was home alone, so I probably had it too loud.” I say in shock as I realize that Liam is talking to me. Not cracking insults and not being rude. He’s talking to me. What the hell is this about!?
His brows raise at my statement. “Too loud? I’m in a rock band, Clove.” He chuckles again.
He’s still here. Why is he still here? I try to organize my thoughts. Finally, I remember how to speak. “I know that. Sorry I bothered you though. I’ll turn it down.”
He looks at me again with a slight smile on his face. “Who says you’re bothering me?”
My mouth drops open in shock. “What?”
He laughs outright. “What, what?”
I rub my forehead. He’s giving me a headache. “What are you doing? Why are you being nice to me?”
His brows raise again and his face loses the cocky smile. He frowns. “I’m not doing anything, Clove. I was just talking to you. I didn’t realize that was such a big deal. I wasn’t aware of the fact that I was being a dick to you all the time.”
My brain is trying so hard to follow this line of conversation, but I am simply at a loss. I stare at him and plant my hands on the counter as I take in his face. God, he’s gorgeous.
Shaking my head to clear it, I compose my thoughts. When I can form a sentence, I speak. “You never talk to me. You haven’t talked to me for years, so what the hell are you doing? I’m not in the mood for a mind fuck.”
Did I just say that out loud?
Apparently, my words have shocked him too. His face registers his surprise before he laughs again. “I know that. Now it’s my turn to apologize. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I stopped talking to you. I just remember we were friendly and then we weren’t. I’m not sure what happened.” I flinch. He sees it and his face changes again. “I’m not trying to mind fuck you, Clove. I swear. I’m just trying to have a conversation,” he lifts his hands in exasperation, “and I don’t know why it’s so difficult to talk to you when I can talk to any other woman on the planet and have no issues.”
I slap the counter in my anger. He jumps. “Are you serious? You really don’t remember!” I hit the counter again and I feel the burn of tears in my eyes. “No, I’m not doing this!” I mutter, “Unfuckingbelievable!”
I can see on his face that he really doesn’t remember. Awesome. Knife to the gut. Just awesome.
He asks, “Remember what, Clove?
The oven timer goes off and I turn my back to him to take my brownie bites out. After I set them on the rack to cool, I turn the oven temperature down for my tart shells. Without turning around, I say flatly, “Nothing! Apparently, nothing. Forget it, Liam.”
I don’t hear him cross the kitchen, but the next thing I know he’s touching my arm. He says quietly, “Clove. What happened? What am I not remembering?” I can hear the confusion in his voice. But, I don’t care. My heart feels like it’s in a vice and I do not want to do this.
As I shrug my shoulders, he lets go of my bicep. I step around him and put some distance between us. Looking up, I see his blue eyes. They are full of questions.
Shaking my head, I say while staring at him, “Nothing.”
He crosses the kitchen and before I can move, he’s in my space. I’m backed against the kitchen table. “Bullshit! Tell me!”
My face loses all color and my heart starts racing. He wants to know. Fine, I’ll tell him and then he can leave me alone. Staring up at him, I try to hold my ground. He’s not moving. Fine! “You want to know?! Fine. I’ll tell you. The party. My graduation party, right after I moved out to L.A. What do you remember about that night, Liam?” I spit it at him.
His brow creases and his eyes darken as he tries to remember that night. After a bit, he says, “We were leaving for a tour. You moved into Jude’s and were starting culinary school. It was a great party. Everyone was drunk. We talked that night. I think we danced some.” He stops as he thinks back. “Did something happen that night, Clove?” He sounds perplexed.
I laugh harshly and shove him. He takes a step back. I shove him again. Once there’s a tiny bit of space between us and he’s not touching me anymore, I say, “Ha! Yes, something happened that night, Liam. We hung out all night. You were drinking and I was drinking, but I wasn’t drunk. We went to my room…”
His eyes go wide at my declaration. He shakes his head, “What? We did?”
Laughing again with no humor, I mutter, “Yeah, we did. You kissed me. In the kitchen the other night wasn’t the first time you kissed me, Liam.” He shakes his head again and grabs the back of his neck. He wanted to know, so he’s going to know. Asshole! “We had a heavy make-out session. Then our clothes were off. Granted, I wasn’t as experienced as you, but I wasn’t a virgin either.”
He holds his hands out to stop me. “Wait! Stop. I did not have sex with you! Did I have sex with you, Clove? FUCK!! I would remember if I had sex with you.”
I laugh again and try to stop from crying. “Ha, no Liam. We did not have sex. I sucked your dick and you pleasured me, but no, we did not have sex. You passed out!”
He looks sick. His face loses all color and he grabs the closest chair and sits down. He looks at me with stricken eyes. He whispers, “Oh my God. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I don’t remember that. I would never have… I wouldn’t have treated you… Oh my God. No wonder you hate me.”
I smile sadly. “Yeah, awesome night… And then you walked out of my bedroom with a skank on your arm the next morning! So, now you know. Can you leave me alone now?” I turn and walk back to the island where I start cutting up more fruit. The wooden spoon I dropped is still lying on the floor.
I don’t hear anything. He doesn’t leave. After five minutes, my back is hurting from holding it so straight. I turn and glare at him. He’s staring at me.
What? Why is he staring at me? Why is he still in here? What the hell does he want? God, go away, Liam. I cannot be in the same room with you. You steal all the air. I feel like I’m in a mine field. Dear God, just go away!
He’s still staring at me. It’s unnerving. I snap out, “What? Why the hell are you staring at me?”
After a minute he says, “Can you put that knife down?”
WHAT? What knife? What the hell is he talking about? Oh, the knife in my hand. Does he think I’m going to stab him?!
I slam it down on the island and turn around expecting to lash out at him. I don’t know what he’s doing, but he needs to go away. He’s got me so tightly strung up, I’m about to explode.
When did he move? He’s in front of me again. I look up. What is that look on his face for?
He takes a step forward, I take one back. He stalks me. What the hell is he doing?
I squeak out, “What are you doing?” I take another step away as he advances. I hit the cabinets. One more step and his legs are lined up with mine. I swallow.
He watches the motion and then looks into my eyes. I’m sure I look like an idiot, but I don’t know what he’s doing. My eyes are wide and confused.
He breathes in and leans down. I lean back.
“Do you hate me?” he softly murmurs.
I am trying to think and I can’t. I shake my head as I try to clear the fog. “What?”
He repeats, “Do. You. Hate. Me?”
I think about it for a minute. Do I hate him? No, I don’t think I do. I want him. I’ve wanted him forever and I hate that. I hate that he’s the man I want and he’s no good for me. I hate that he can and will sleep with anything that shows interest. I hate that he makes me feel like a simpering fool. I hate that when he’s around, I feel like a twelve year old with a crush on her brother’s friend. I hate so many things about him. But, no, I don’t hate him.
I don’t answer. I can’t. I shake my head, no.
He smiles and leans in closer. I can’t lean back any farther. He whispers
again, “No? You don’t hate me?”
I can’t breathe. He’s too close. I can’t think either. Five minutes ago I wanted to slap him and now I’m having to force myself not to touch him. If this is a mind fuck, he’s an expert. I shake my head again.
He says, “Say it.”
I whisper, “I don’t hate you.”
He whispers, “Good.” Then, he’s kissing me. His hands cradle my hips and his mouth moves sensuously against mine. Back and forth. He licks the seam of my mouth, asking for entrance and I moan and open for him.
What are you doing, you idiot? Stop! Stop kissing him. Fight this! Pull against him, dammit!
Fuck it, I don’t want to fight it. If he’s the devil, then I’m jumping straight into the fires of Hell.
He groans and deepens the kiss. My hands find his neck and squeeze it as I hold on for dear life. I’m kneading his taunt neck as he squeezes my hips and kisses the breath right out of me.
I press closer to him and our bodies are flush together. His hands cup my butt and he lifts me up and sits me on the counter top. This gives him better access. He never moves his hands from my hips and I yearn for them to move over my body.
Moving my hands from his neck, I trail them down his chest and moan as I feel the ridges of muscle underneath his shirt. He moans and kisses me harder. I suck on his tongue and feel his ridged length against my core through both of our jeans.
I want him to touch me. I want to touch him.
My hands glide under his shirt and his abs contract as I feel his warm skin. As I trace the muscles with my fingers, he continues to kiss me. He breaks the kiss and moans my name, “Clove…” then his mouth is trailing down my throat. I have to hold onto his waist to steady myself. I feel like I’m going to melt into a puddle on the floor. My body is on fire. Every place his mouth touches is blazing hot and sends a pang straight to my girl parts.
I don’t even realize I’m moaning his name over and over. “Liam. Ohhhhhh, Liam.”
My throaty moans get his attention and he stops kissing my neck and collar bone where he’s pulled the neckline of my shirt aside. He looks at me. The blatant desire in his eyes makes me want to spontaneously combust. My face must mirror his, because he swoops back in and we are once again kissing feverishly. My hands are holding his head prisoner and his hands are still firmly planted on my hips.