When Phoebe went outside she saw him waving from a battered old car that had multi-colored bodywork. It reminded her of her gate, and she burst out laughing.
“Charles, what's this?” she asked, heading toward him.
“I bought it two days ago,” Charles said, laughing. “I also enrolled in some managerial courses at the hospitality college. I am a young man on the rise for you.”
Phoebe looked at him, aghast. “Are you serious?”
“Yes.” Charles stepped out of the car and had to slam it several times before the door finally closed. “I know you loved that car that Ezekiel gave to you and I thought why not make an effort to help you to make the decision to ditch him.”
Phoebe closed her eyes and then opened them again. “You expect me to drive this junk pile to work instead of that?” She pointed to her car.
Charles shrugged. “I'll fix up this old Ford Escort. I’m thinking black will make a nice color. The boys and I will work on it all the time, and in no time it will look good. You'll see.”
“So how will you find time for that while going to hospitality school?” Phoebe asked squinting at him. “And working? And playing gigs on the weekends?”
“It's all about time management,” Charles grimaced. “That's the name of one of my first classes by the way. With time management you can't go wrong.”
Phoebe shook her head. “I don't know if I want you to put yourself through that just for me.”
Charles laughed. “I’m not just doing it just for you, Phoebe. I am also doing it for me. You know, you made me realize that I can't just continue drifting with the tide. I have to have some goals, or one day I might just find myself to be a middle-aged drifter sitting on my uncle's veranda pondering where did it all go wrong.”
Phoebe clapped her hands in glee. “So I made a difference, didn't I?”
“Yup,” Charles grinned, “and I’m also hoping that you’ll see that I’m a good prospect in the competition for your fair hand.”
Phoebe giggled and couldn't stop. “You sound like an English radio drama.”
Charles laughed with her, and then jiggled his keys. “Want to go for dinner? Consider this your birthday dinner. Since you went out with Mr. Rich Man last night, tonight I want to show you what you were missing with the new and upcoming Charles Black.”
He yanked open the car door on the driver's side and made a swooping motion for Phoebe to get in. “Sorry about the other side. Apparently it can't be opened, so you'll have to come through here.”
Phoebe peered into the car and scowled. “The seats look like vermin live in them.”
Charles grinned. “I personally dusted them out with my cleanest house broom.”
“Oh Lord,” Phoebe groaned. “Wait here, I am going to put on pants and go for my Lysol.”
She ran inside and came back in army fatigues and a Lysol in hand. “Okay ‘new and upcoming Charles Black’, take me to dinner.”
*****
Charles took her to Burger Joint, a sports lounge where people could sit around and watch television, or play their own games. There were several pool tables but most of them were occupied. They feasted on huge burgers while they watched reruns of the Diamond League Athletics meet on television.
Earlier Charles had whipped out a game of Scrabble from the back seat of his car—the plastic was still covering the box. He cleared his throat. “Well, I started studying the dictionary to keep up with you...”
Phoebe grinned. He had such an earnest expression on his face. “You know Charles, you are something else.”
“Well, I know you like this word game and as part of my ‘new upcoming image’, I am now a Scrabble player.”
“Okay, ‘new up and coming Charles’,” Phoebe laughed, “I'll teach you how to play.”
They played for two hours, Charles got the hang of the game and he managed to play an impressive word or two. Phoebe found herself looking at him and simply smiling at times.
He was serious enough about her to want to change his life, but on the other hand, Ezekiel was serious enough to want to marry her as well, and was waiting for an answer.
On the way home, the car started to sputter. Charles kept apologizing for it and Phoebe kept laughing.
“You know, Charles,” Phoebe kissed him on the cheeks. “I have never in my entire life laughed so much in one evening.” She gave him her Lysol. “Keep this for your car seat. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight,” Charles whispered, a look of devotion crossing his face. “I love you.” He whispered when she was out of earshot. He was just as unsure about her now as he ever was.
He didn't even know if he was winning in this imaginary war for Phoebe's affection. Did she just find him to be an amusing guy who she could laugh with; was she even thinking of him seriously?
“Drat it.” He kicked his car, turned around, and slowly went up the walkway to his house.
Chapter Twenty
Decisions, decisions, decisions. Phoebe sat cross-legged in the middle of her bed and contemplated her life. It had been two weeks since her birthday: She had played Scrabble with Charles a couple of days, had dinner with Ezekiel at his place a couple of days, hung out with Tanya one evening, and went to Erica's and Caleb's newly refurbished home on another day.
Everyone had an opinion about her life, but her mother constantly pushed her to call Sonia Beaumont and accept her offer. “What are you waiting for, Phoebe? Do it. I found and tape together her business card that you tore up and threw out.”
Her father was deafeningly quiet, giving her only disapproving stares. Yesterday she heard him grumbling that he was “not pleased with all these goings on,” after he came down from the roof he had finally managed to fix.
Charles kept pestering her to give back the car saying, “It is a symbol of whoredom.” He actually played that word in Scrabble game one night and he had looked at her and pointedly said, “It is God speaking to you.”
Ezekiel wanted her to marry him. “Marry me Phoebe,” he said with heartfelt tones, “I know we will be happy together. I can give you all that your heart desires.”
Erica firmly believed that Charles was the one.
Tanya believed Ezekiel was the one.
Her mother believed anyone with money was the one.
What did Phoebe believe? Where did she stand?
Phoebe stared at a stain on her wall where she had killed a mosquito three nights ago and hadn't bothered to wipe away the evidence.
What did Phoebe want to do? She stared at herself in the mirror and thought about that poem by Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken. They had forced her to memorize the poem in her high school literature class; now the words were reeling in her head:
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both,
And be one traveler, long I stood.
Well not stood, Phoebe realized. She was actually sitting and contemplating her options: she could marry Ezekiel and live on easy street; she could let Ezekiel down gently and give a relationship with Charles a go, or she could do as Charles said: be independent and go about her daily life and be content with what she had.
She worried her bottom lip between her teeth and kept staring at the blank wall until she dozed off into a troubled sleep. She didn't know why she suddenly woke up in the night, it could be the mosquito that was constantly zinging about her ears but she got up groggily and reached for her Bible and sat down with it.
Over the past few months, she had hardly prayed. Maybe she had dashed a line or two of well-rehearsed drivel to God, but she definitely hadn’t been reading the word. She had been so busy with her life and her problems and her poverty that she had no space for anything else, least of all God: her maker, the only person who had the Phoebe manual, and the only one who could solve the Phoebe problem.
And just like that Phoebe realized that all this time, she had been so self-centered, so caught up in her situation, so focused on everything that made her unhappy that
she hadn’t been focusing on the only solution.
She turned to Matthew 6 as if she was compelled to do so and read through the entire chapter prayerfully. When she read verse 19 she winced. It said, “Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal.”
Verse 24 said, “Ye cannot serve God and money,” verse 31-33, “Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? Or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”
Phoebe had read this before, had heard it in church, had even participated in Bible study classes where this was read, but for the first time she understood it. For the first time the concept was plain to her.
Her attitude for the past few years was so opposed to this concept that she gasped with the enormity of it, and to think she had called herself a Christian. Suddenly she saw, that her attitude toward God, toward people, and toward both Charles and Ezekiel was wrong.
It was a hard pill to swallow; regret and recriminations roiled within her. How could she have been so one-track minded and blind? The reason she was so unhappy was because she was inwardly focused and self-centered.
All this time her only option was to seek God first, and all other things would be added according to his will.
She concluded that God had been good to her; she was not nearly as poor as she could be. She had a job, she ate dinner every night, she had a church family and she had friends who stuck with her despite her bad attitude.
She got off the bed, feeling as if a huge burden was on her back. She wanted to change so badly. She wanted that peace that only God could give. She fell to her knees and asked God for forgiveness. Never in all her days did she feel such a deep regret about herself and her attitude toward life.
When she got up from her knees she had to look in her mirror to see if she had changed any at all, because she felt lighter and free.
Chapter Twenty-One
Phoebe couldn't wait to go to church that Sabbath. The air just seemed fresher and the grass looked greener.
She had started packing the clothes that Ezekiel had bought for her to return them to him, so she wore a purple skirt suit that had seen better days. She was singing, and was so lighthearted that both her parents were looking at her strangely.
“So you've finally made up your mind about that rich man.” Her mother clapped her hand gleefully.
Phoebe shook her head and looked at her mother compassionately, “Mama.”
“Yes,” Nishta answered tenderly.
“You need Jesus in your life,” Phoebe said gently, “not money.”
Nishta gasped. “Have you gone crazy?”
“Only crazy for Jesus,” Phoebe said happily.
Phoebe's father was lounging in his chair when he heard the conversation and he looked at Phoebe gleefully. “That’s my girl! I’m coming to church with you.”
Phoebe shook her head. “You need Jesus too.”
Her father got up eagerly. “We all need Jesus!”
Nishta had her hand on her head. “Jesus can't pay the bills! Jesus can't buy food.” She moaned in agony.
Phoebe laughed. “He can and he has. Count your blessings Mama and you'll not be so miserable. You have a roof over your head, a long suffering husband, a daughter who has come to her senses...see you both later.” She took up her umbrella and left the house.
When she arrived at church, the ushers greeted her at the door. “A warm welcome, Sister Phoebe. We haven't seen you in a while.”
Phoebe grinned. “I was all over the place with the Perfect Number band. I am thinking that you'll be seeing a lot more of me now.”
She went to sit beside Erica and Caleb who were wearing matching colors.
“The marriage madness has started,” she whispered to them both.
Caleb grinned and Erica pinched her. “You look different today, Phoebe,” Erica whispered, “really peaceful, like something has clicked into place.”
“It has,” Phoebe said hugging Erica sideways. “I have made up my mind about all of this madness.”
“It's Charles, isn't it?” Erica squealed in delight, and then covered her mouth when the people before them turned around to look.
Phoebe smiled peacefully. “You'll know soon enough.”
“I can't stand suspense,” Erica said peeved. “Just tell me and be done with it.”
“Nope.” Phoebe grinned.
“I think it's the rich guy,” Caleb said, “Phoebe has expensive taste. Remember the first thing she asked me that night, when I first saw you two, was ‘where’s your car?’”
Phoebe closed her eyes and blushed. “I am so sorry about that, Caleb. I can only say that I was operating from an unconverted heart. But since then I have made it right with God. I am sorry I attacked you in the parking lot that night.”
Erica was staring at her, wide-eyed. “Bless my soul! I have lived to see the day.”
Phoebe fanned her off. “I am still a work-in-progress; thank God for Jesus.”
Caleb grinned. “You are long forgiven Phoebe. I knew that underneath all your tough talk was a vulnerable and lonely girl.”
“Awww,” Erica said hugging Phoebe to her, “ma baby has grown up.”
“Stop it,” Phoebe hissed. “There’s Hyacinth Donahue giving us the evil eye.”
Erica laughed and wiped her eyes. “I am tearing up for all sorts of things these days.”
“She's pregnant.” Caleb offered sweetly.
“Tell the whole church, why don't you?” Erica whispered crossly.
“Somebody said pregnant?” Tanya sat beside them and asked loudly.
Erica sighed and moved closer to Caleb.
“Ah, congratulations.” It was Phoebe's turn to hug Erica.
“You all have my permission to broadcast it to the church, but after church.” Erica grinned still, wiping her wet eyes.
*****
It was a rousing sermon on the importance of tithing.
Pastor Brick quoted from Malachi 3:7-9: “Will a man rob God, yet you have robbed me, wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.”
He went on to espouse the lack of blessings that is the lot of many and that it was a direct result of them robbing God. The church was silent and pensive. Phoebe imagined that each person was doing his or her own soul-searching. Then her mind began to wander. She felt genuinely happy for Erica. She had never really seen her friend so content.
She looked over at Tanya who was clutching her Bible and searching through the texts. Tanya genuinely loved God and she was fun to be around. Maybe she thought that Phoebe was too materialistic, and that's why she didn't ask her to attend any of her little girly meetings in the morning. Maybe she thought she would rub the other women the wrong way.
Suddenly Phoebe saw herself in the eyes of others. It was a miracle that Erica and Tanya even spoke to her. She was so obsessed with handsome men and material things and so fixated on poverty and all her needss, that she must have been boring company.
She felt tears stinging her eyes. Becoming self-aware was no fun and as if she was viewing her life like a cinematic sequence she saw how utterly despicable and unapproachable she had been.
Though he really wanted to get her off his case, Chris Donahue had been the only one brave enough to tell her to stop her rich-man-hunting. All the guys in church had shunned her. She cringed when she thought about how she would ask a guy how much he was worth and how much was in his bank account as soon as he said hello to her.
No wonder she was unhappy. That kind of attitude was rotten. She hadn't cared about people and caring about people was what Christianity was all about.
Phoebe felt well and truly down when church was over. She also realized that people greeted her friends effusively with warm hugs and
handshakes but barely nodded at her; looking at her uncertainly as if she would explode at any moment.
Was she truly so standoffish, and why had she had the audacity to think that it was because people were jealous of her looks?
Phoebe and Tanya went home with Erica and Caleb to their newly refurbished place. It was gorgeous, and very different from the old house that was there before. They had built a second story onto the place to take advantage of the lovely views.
“So what is going to happen to Kelly's place?” Phoebe asked curiously as she sat outside on the balcony overlooking the bay; she could see the road below and a patch of greenery and of course the blue expanse of the sea. She could even hear the sea, lapping on the seashore.
“Well, I am thinking of just closing it up and sending someone there to clean it up every two weeks or so,” Erica said. “I have no desire to go back there to live when up here is so nice; pretty soon I will be too taken up with baby issues to even care.”
“Maybe I can housesit for you as long as Kelly and Theo won't mind,” Phoebe offered, thinking what a good opportunity it would be to get away from her mother's constant nagging.
Erica looked at her and smiled. “That’s a fabulous idea. They won't mind, and besides, I make the decisions regarding the house. I'll give you the keys when you are leaving.”
“Cool,” Tanya said, “I live near to Kelly's house. You can come walking with the group in the mornings then. That's if you want to?”
“I probably will take you up on the offer,” Phoebe nodded, “to hear exactly what it is you guys find to talk about in the mornings. I used to be so jealous of you people.”
Tanya laughed. “That’s funny, I thought that you'd found the whole thing boring, so I never extended an invitation. Besides, Flatbush Scheme is so far from our walking route.”
“So what about Charles?” Erica asked eagerly, “won’t he miss you when you move up to Kelly's place?”
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