I feel Mom’s eyes on me, but I focus on Zeb, forcing a regretful expression onto my face. “No. I have to go now or I’ll be late.”
I grab my purse and dash out before anyone can make me feel worse.
Time to pick up my girls, meet some Garrison boys, and get my kiss on. Things have been strained between us since the Devonshire field party last night, but maybe it’ll be better tonight since we’ll be partying with people we don’t know. People who aren’t Dean. And maybe, if I’m lucky, Monica will fall for a Garrison guy and back off.
I’m happy the weather is nice enough to wear my tight capri jeans and a newish shirt that hangs low on my shoulders. But I’m not happy when I show up at Kenz’s and Vincent is with her. I forgot he was back and that I told her she could bring him along. She gets teary eyed when she hugs me, acting like a puppy who’s in trouble. I give her a smile so she’ll relax. They sit together in the third row of the minivan, holding hands and whispering, in their own little world.
I grumble about the car going too slow in front of me, and the fact that we’re hitting every single freaking red light. I smack the steering wheel with my palm.
“What’s wrong?” Monica looks at me from the front passenger seat.
“Nothing,” I lie. This is usually when we would blast the music and get silly, but I don’t feel like we can do that with a guy around. Not that Vin would care, but just the presence of a penis in the car is making me grumpy.
Lin scoots forward from the middle seat. I glance at her perfectly applied “dramatic cat” eyeliner and red lips in the rearview mirror.
“Parker is going to be there,” she says.
“Ooh!” Monica claps her hands. “The hot guy from your gym?” We’ve heard lots about the male gymnast but never met him before.
“Yes, and he’s so good, you guys. He competes at the national level. Anyway, he flirted with me the whole time John and I were together. Let’s see if he’s still interested now that I’m single.”
“He’d be stupid not to be,” Monica says, and I agree, though that is how guys work. A girl out of reach is always more appealing.
I park in a tiny lot surrounded by trees, and we take a trail down to the sand. We kick off our shoes, and the sand is cool. It’s dusk now, still light enough to see everyone’s faces, but it’ll be dark soon. The first thing I notice is that all the Garrison girls are in spring dresses, like they just came from church. And we . . . are not. The huge group turns to watch us all at once, and I feel completely conspicuous.
Then one of the girls shouts, “Lin!” and comes running. Another girl and a short, muscular guy follow. Lin introduces us, and I forget their names immediately, except for Parker, who is just as cute as Lin said. He’s an inch taller than her, with broad shoulders and arms.
He hugs her with a big grin, and Monica gives me the look that says, “Yeah, he’s into her.” I bounce my brows in agreement. Winner.
Kenzie and Vincent bypass everyone and walk down to the water together. I try not to be sad. I know I should be happy for her. The way he puts a hand protectively on her lower back is sweet, but all I can see is the potential heartache that’s to come and how she’s not really ours anymore, so I look away and follow Lin as she leads us down into the group.
It turns out the fancy girls are pretty nice. Definitely more welcoming than Hillside High girls. They offer us drinks, but I pass since I’m driving. My eyes scan the guys to see which ones are with girls, or have their eyes on girls already, and which are ripe for the picking. I see Monica eyeing a loud group at a picnic table, but they’re a little preppy for my liking, all in polo shirts and whatnot. I should have expected this. Oh, well. No time to be picky. I’m not looking for a boyfriend, after all. Just a pair of nice lips.
Once the sun dips low enough to darken the sky, and enough beer has been consumed, things start to get lively. Someone turns on a portable speaker connected to a phone that blasts punk rock, and it all sort of clicks. Laughter. The glimmer of lake water. Two drunk guys banging their heads like a couple of crazies in the middle of it all.
Vincent goes to stand in the drink line while Kenzie stands with Monica and me. Lin and Parker are straddling a picnic-bench seat, facing each other in close conversation. Monica nudges me, and I look up to see three guys walking our way, beer cans in hand, confidence plastered on their well-groomed faces.
“Hello, hello,” says a tall blond one. “I’m Ranger.”
“Hey,” Monica says. “I’m Monica. This is Zae and Kenzie.”
Ranger points to a super tall and thin guy in a buzz cut. “That’s Arik.” And then a polished, all-American boy with brown waves perfectly gelled. “And this is Bauer.”
I give a wave and smile.
“What school do you go to?” Bauer asks.
“Peakton,” I tell him.
Each one of them visibly reacts with surprise—raised eyebrows, pulled faces.
“What?” Monica asks.
Arik gives a short laugh. “I didn’t know there were any hot girls at Peakton.”
Now it’s our turn to scoff.
“Surprise,” Monica says in a deadpan voice. I hold back a guffaw.
Bauer gives Arik a small shove and says, “Idiot.”
“What?” Arik laughs and drinks his beer. “I thought Peakton was all ghetto—”
“Stop.” Monica holds a hand up, and I wish she’d go Latina on his ass.
“Seriously, dude.” Ranger laughs. “Shut up.”
“Sorry! I’m not trying to be an asshole.” Arik crushes his can and throws it far into the trees. This Peakton girl does not approve of littering. Then he looks at Kenzie. “You’re cute.”
“Um, thanks.” She glances toward the line where Vin is almost at the front.
The guy, Arik, keeps looking at her, and says, “So, like, what are you?”
I cringe hard enough to tweak a nerve in my back.
“What the fuck?” Monica says, putting a hand on her hip.
“What?” the guy asks, grinning stupidly. His friends smack themselves in the heads, groaning, and Kenzie smiles tightly at Arik. He’s asking for her heritage. It’s not the first time I’ve heard someone ask her like this, and it pisses me off worse every time. I’m about to tell him where he can shove his question, when Kenzie raises her pixie-like chin.
“Female cisgender,” she says. “All American. What are you?”
I hold back a cackle of pride as the other two guys laugh outright, and Arik crosses his arms.
“No, I mean, like—”
“I know what you meant.” She loses the fake smile, done. I know she’s not ashamed of being biracial, but she also isn’t in the mood to explain anything to a dumbass. I want to hug her for how fierce she looks right now.
“O-kay,” he says, clearly peeved that she’s not going to answer.
“Go get another beer.” Bauer nudges Arik, and he complies, seeming glad for an excuse to leave us, shaking his head. Ranger and Bauer sidle up closer.
“Sorry about that,” Ranger says. “He’s missing some sort of connection up here.” He points to his head. Kenzie shrugs, but discomfort pollutes the air.
“You okay?” I whisper.
She glances behind us and nods tightly. “Here comes Vin. I’m gonna take a walk.”
Monica and I watch her go, taking her beer from Vincent, then twining her hand with his as they disappear into the woods.
Monica sips her drink and eyes me sideways with meaning, as if making sure I’m okay. If I wanted to leave now, she’d be cool with it. I give her a small shrug, then a roll of my eyes and a nod. She nods back, silently saying it’s up to me.
I look at the two boys. “Yeah, I don’t really want to hang around him. No offense to you guys.”
“Yeah, he’s a buzzkill,” Ranger says. “I’ll text him and tell him not to come back.” He pulls out his phone and taps away, grinning when it’s done.
“Hope you won’t hold it against us, though.” Bauer gives m
e a little nudge and an innocent-enough smile as a lock of brown hair falls over his forehead. The worst of the tension sheds away, leaving behind remnants of discomfort.
Monica clears her throat and asks, “Do you guys play sports?”
“Soccer and football,” Bauer says, pointing back and forth between himself and Ranger. “Both of us.”
“We cheer,” I tell them.
“Ah, nice.” Bauer smiles. “We’ll have to look for you at the games next season and say hey.”
Conversation comes easier now that Arik is gone, and thankfully he doesn’t make his way back to us. Ranger gravitates to Monica, while Bauer takes an interest in me. He’s not the kind of guy I could hang out with often—he’s almost guarded, hard to read, like he’s trying to say all the right things and come across too perfect. Still, he’s kissable, and that’s what matters.
I can tell he’s starting to get a buzz when he cocks his head toward the trees and says, “Let’s talk over there. It’ll be quieter.”
I give him a knowing look. “Quieter, huh?”
He cocks his head again and gives a nod, turning and walking confidently, like he knows I’ll follow. And I do. But first I catch Monica’s eye and she gives me a wink.
I get nervous when we’re out of sight of the others. It’s not like being alone with a guy from Peakton who I see every day. It feels different. I don’t know this guy at all. Maybe I’m still feeling weird about Arik’s rudeness. I try to shake it off so I can relax and have fun, but the uneasiness lingers.
When Bauer tries to walk farther, I grab his hand and say, “This is far enough.”
My heart is beating too hard. It’s just a kiss, I remind myself. Get it, and get out.
He turns back to me, giving me a confident, hooded look, and strides into my bubble. Without hesitation he cups the back of my head, kissing me harder than I’ve ever been kissed. My palms go to his chest as he backs me against a tree. He’s holding me so tightly and pressing his mouth so hard against mine that I don’t think he feels me trying to push back. He’s just a passionate guy, I tell myself. No need to freak. I try to loosen up and kiss him back, but he’s so intense. He wants to be in control, which I’d usually think was kind of sexy, but it feels . . . wrong.
Then, in a quick move, his hand is up my shirt, on my bare stomach and pushing downward, trying to get in my pants. Thank God they’re too tight for easy access. I squirm as he goes for the button, and I’m finally able to wrench my head to the side, though he still clutches the back of my neck.
“Whoa,” I say. “Just a kiss.”
“What?” He gives a low chuckle. “Why?” As if “just a kiss” is the most absurd thing he’s ever heard.
“Because that’s all I want.” Duh. I try to push him, but he wraps his arms around me, breathing down onto my neck.
“Just relax,” he says.
“I think I’m done,” I tell him. “Sorry.” Ugh, why do I feel the need to apologize?
“Why?” he asks, not letting go. He chuckles into my neck again. “Come on, beautiful.” His arms around me move until his hands are up my shirt, caressing my bare back as his mouth moves to cover mine again.
Nope. My hands push, and I’m met with a push back, my upper back digging into tree bark.
“Get off.” I use all my might now to shove him away. In the flash of moonlight I see a look of surprise in his eyes. Disbelief.
“Dude, chill.” He reaches out and grasps my wrist. I yank back and holler when he holds tight, pinching my skin. A burning sensation sears up my arm and I whimper, still pulling against his hold.
“Hold on just a sec!” he says through gritted teeth, letting out a dry laugh as if I’m being unreasonable.
“Hey.” The calm male voice comes from within the darkness of the trees, and Bauer drops my wrist as Vincent and Kenzie show themselves. Oh my God, I want to run to them. Vin looks directly at me and speaks in his unwavering, gentle voice. “You okay, Zae?”
“Yeah.” I put another step between Bauer and me, rubbing my wrist.
“Why wouldn’t she be?” Bauer asks. “Just a kiss, right?” He looks at me, and even in the moonlight I can see a mix of pleading and warning in his eyes. All I want to do is get far away from him.
“Let’s go,” I tell Vincent and Kenz.
I march out of the woods, trembling and suddenly freezing, to find Lin sitting on Parker’s lap, sucking face. The sight sends a jolt of panic through me, and I have to tell myself it’s okay. He’s not hurting her. My eyes search for Monica, but I don’t see her or that Ranger guy. Worry seizes me.
“Where’s Monica?” I am practically panting as I look around.
“I’ll find them.” Vin rushes into the trees again.
“It’s okay,” Kenzie says, taking my hand.
Bauer speed walks past us, running a hand roughly through his hair as he makes his way to the larger group. It doesn’t take long before I can hear whispers turning to louder voices and see people turning to look at us.
Bauer’s voice rises. “Who invited the fucking psychos and that thug from Peakton?”
Lin is standing now, looking around with confusion. When she finds me, she whispers something to Parker and walks our way. Vincent comes out of the trees with Monica rushing behind him, a confused Ranger following.
I don’t say a word. I start walking as fast as I can across the cold sand to the parking lot. By the time I pick up my sandals and get to the car, I’m shaking too hard to drive. Vincent takes the keys from me and I let him. I climb into the back with the girls, and Vin gets us out of there quickly.
“Oh my God, Zae, what happened?” Monica asks. She and Kenzie are both holding me, and Lin is in the third row leaning over the seat, her hand rubbing my back.
“Nothing,” I say automatically, because I feel stupid, but I have to tell them. “We were kissing, and then he tried to put his hands down my pants, and I stopped him, but he wouldn’t let me go. He kept holding me tighter and his voice . . . I don’t know. He was telling me to calm down and it was so creepy.”
Monica and Lin gasp in indignation.
“I heard you say ‘Get off,’” says Kenzie. “And it sounded like you were struggling, so we ran over. He was pushing you against the tree, and like, grabbing at you!” Her voice cracks and she wipes tears from her cheeks. “We should call the police!”
I shake my head. And tell them what? That I stupidly went into the woods with a boy I don’t know? That he made a move I wasn’t ready for, and got rough when I told him to stop? I know what they’ll say. That I wasn’t raped. That I wasn’t quite assaulted. That he’s a good kid from a good family in a good neighborhood. But what if Vincent and Kenzie hadn’t been there? I don’t know what that guy planned to do next. Could I have fought him off? I’d like to think so, but a shiver of apprehension zags down my back at the sense of powerlessness I felt.
“I can totally find out where he lives,” Lin says. “We should egg him.”
“No,” I say. “He’ll know it’s me.”
“Then we don’t do it tonight,” Vincent says quietly from the driver’s seat. Kenzie sends him a look of complete adoration, and for once I don’t begrudge her for it.
“Thank you, Vincent,” I say. He doesn’t respond, but he doesn’t need to. And then I remember . . . “He called you a thug.”
We let that thought sink in, and then we’re laughing. It’s completely inappropriate laughter, brought on by our frenzy of adrenaline and horror, and when we’re finished laughing, we wipe tears from our eyes and cling to one another.
We’re quiet the rest of the way to Kenzie’s house, where we drop off her and Vin. I’m feeling well enough to drive now, but a darkness still surrounds me, and my mind won’t stop racing. I should have called him an asshole and been more vocal at the end when he tried to shush me. I’m haunted by the trepidation I felt when I walked into those woods—my gut instincts that I ignored. I think about the what ifs, and I silently send my love to all the sou
ls in the world who weren’t as lucky as I was tonight.
Chapter Twenty
Friday
I’m having a hard time concentrating at work, partly because I hardly slept last night. I keep imagining that Bauer will come into the store and threaten me. I know it’s ridiculous. I’m safe. All I have to do is pick up the phone and press one button to have security there. Each time I peer down at the button I feel a little better. Still, I stare at the store’s opening into the mall.
My phone buzzes with a text from Kenzie: My house tonight. Wear all black.
All black, why? And then I remember and feel a jolt of excitement. I’ve never egged anyone’s house before. The possibility of getting caught makes me nervous, but it will be worth it. Revenge is mine.
I’m so excited when I get off work, get home, and gather every black garment I own. I can’t help but giggle in Kenzie’s basement once we’re all dressed like a pack of cute burglars. Even Vincent is decked out, though he’s going to be the getaway driver. His only black pants were some fancy slacks from a suit and a black turtleneck that is too short at his waist and wrists. He lets us laugh at him for longer than necessary. And I have to admit, after last night, I welcome Vin’s presence like a friend.
“I did some research,” Lin says. “I stalked all of Bauer’s social media pages. He has tons of pictures of his shiny red Jeep and calls it his baby.”
I roll my eyes, and Monica gags.
“So,” Lin continues, “I think we should focus on his car instead of his house. And we should use something that won’t cause permanent damage.”
Kenzie giggles and brings out a grocery bag. When she opens it, we all lean in, and I have to blink several times at the tubes inside.
“Biscuits?” Monica and I declare together.
“Yes!” Kenz and Lin are cackling like evil geniuses. “It’s supposed to be the hottest, sunniest day of spring break tomorrow. We’ll squash biscuit dough all over his car, and then it will rise in the morning sun.”
Kenzie rolls onto her back, clutching her belly with glee, and Vincent smiles down at her like at a precious kitten.
Kiss Collector Page 13