“How long has she been calling?” I question.
Silvia sighs. “The last couple of days, usually three or four times per day.” That’s definitely persistent.
“Who did you say it was?”
“I didn’t, ma’am. The woman’s name is Donna Adams.” My entire body goes solid with tension as Silvia waits for my response.
I only know one Donna Adams and I can’t begin to imagine why she would be calling me. I exhale loudly. “Put her through the next time she calls, Silvia.”
“Yes, ma’am. Will that be all?”
“Yes.” Silvia picks up on the change in my mood but she’s smart enough to know I won’t talk to her about my personal problems. With a half-smile, she stands up and leaves.
Chase’s parents—Steve and Donna Adams—were never rude or mean to me, but they made their feelings about me dating their son apparent. I was a distraction he didn’t need. I was the girl that would single-handedly keep him from achieving his dream of playing professional football.
I hated how they viewed my role in Chase’s life, but even as a teenager, I knew they had their son’s best interest at heart. It wasn’t until they convinced Chase to crush any chance we had of a future together that I truly began to hate them.
In the last ten years, I’ve never once returned to Oak Cove. When I first moved to New York, my parents would visit me every few months, leaving me with no reason to make the trip down to Florida. Within a few years, my parents moved up north so they could be closer to me.
When it came to Chase, I allowed myself to suffer much longer than I should have. I was convinced after a certain amount of time he would come to his senses. I was waiting for him to call me—even though I told him not to—and tell me he made the biggest mistake of his life, but he never did. After six months of living in limbo, the only thing I had to show for myself was a semester of crappy grades.
With a new year and a new semester, I decided it was time for a new me. I purchased a new phone and number, deleted all of my social media accounts, and good, bad, or otherwise, started to live life again.
I would be lying if I said I never think of Chase Adams. There was a time when I would avoid going anywhere during football season if I thought someone might be watching a game he would be playing in. But that’s not the case anymore. Chase Adams is just a guy I dated in high school. He’s just a faint memory, and I hope like hell that Donna Adams doesn’t do or say anything to change that.
CHASE
“I love coming out here with you,” Jordan says, staring up into my eyes.
“Yeah, well, I love going anywhere as long as you’re with me, baby,” I tell her, pulling her body even tighter against mine.
Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I would find the girl I’d spend the rest of my life with while I was still in high school. I might be young, but I know Jordan is the girl I’m going to marry one day—hopefully soon.
“What do you think it will be like when we leave for school?”
“We’ll be fine. We love each other and that’s all that matters,” I firmly state. I hate having this conversation and lately it’s all Jordan talks about. For the next four years, the two of us will spend more time apart than we will together, but I have no doubt that we’ll be fine.
Will it be hard? Sure. Will I miss her like crazy? Absolutely. But I know we can weather the storm and come out a stronger couple in the end.
“Nothing and I mean nothing will keep us apart. I love you.” I turn Jordan’s head back towards me. When I see her beautiful but watery blue eyes, my heart speeds up even more.
I could name hundreds of things about Jordan that I love, but it’s the beauty below the surface that truly captured my heart. Other than her obvious good looks, I’m not sure why I was immediately drawn to her. But from the day I first set my eyes on her, I’ve undoubtedly wanted her in my life. And nothing, including going to separate colleges hundreds of miles apart, is going to keep me from the only person my heart plainly desires.
“I love you, too. I’ll love you forever.”
Beep. Beep. Beep.
My head is fucking killing me and I want that fucking beeping noise to stop. My eyes slowly open and I start to panic when I see that I’m in what looks like a hospital room.
The walls are crisp white, I have a machine attached to my arm, and I can see what looks like a clipboard at the end of the bed.
Fuck me. I don’t remember what I did or what happened to land me here, but more importantly, I don’t know where everyone is.
I turn to the IV machine that’s attached to my arm and I push the help button. The fucking thing starts screaming, causing the pounding in my head to increase.
Oh God. Make it stop. Someone please make that horrible noise stop. As that mantra continues in my head, I hear the sound abruptly stop, which causes me to slowly crack an eye. I first notice a woman, who appears to be a nurse, and then I spot my mother standing off to the side with a worried look sketched across her face.
“Hey, Ma,” I say with a scratchy throat. After hearing me talk, my mother’s face relaxes a little and she steps closer to my bed.
“Hey, sweetheart. How are you feeling?” she asks in a soft but concerned voice.
“Like shit. My head hurts. Where is everyone else?” I ask while my eyes are still scanning the room.
“Oh, your father is off somewhere trying to flag down a specialist we were told about. He should be back soon.”
I’m trying my best to patiently wait for her to tell me about the person I was actually asking about but she remains silent. “Ma, where is she?”
Ma gives me a confused look before she appears to know whom I’m asking about. “Oh, the nurse? I’m sure she’ll be right back.” My mother isn’t one to beat around the bush.
“Cut the shit, Ma. You’re really starting to make me mad. Where the fuck is Jordan?” I snap out in a rather harsh tone.
My mom drops my hand and moves a few inches from the side of the bed. “Jordan? What—who—Jordan who, sweetie?” I close my eyes and take a deep breath, willing myself to relax. When I open them, I see my mother still carefully watching me.
“Ma, you know exactly who I’m talking about. Jordan. My wife.” This time, my mother jumps away from my bed like I’m on fire and she’s about to get burned.
My eyes narrow at her strange behavior. Between Ma acting weird and Jordan not being here, added to the fact that no one has told me what the fuck is going on, I’m at my breaking point.
“Get my wife and the fucking doctor NOW. I’m serious, Ma. I don’t know what game you’re playing or why but I’m done fucking playing it with you,” I growl out while my head feels like it’s about to explode.
“Sure. Yeah. I’ll just ...go . . .”
My mom takes off and out the door at a speed much faster than I’m used to seeing her move. I know something’s not right. For starters, I can’t remember what happened to land me in a fucking hospital, not to mention the fact that both Jordan and my dad are nowhere to be found.
Waking up to her beautiful face would have been nice, but I know since she’s not here then there must be a good reason. I just hope wherever she is, she gets here quick because I want her. No, scratch that ...I need her.
JORDAN
“Ms. Taylor, Mrs. Adams is on the phone for you. Shall I put her through?” I swallow and push down the nervous lump in my throat.
“Yes, Silvia, thank you.” My skin prickles as I watch the light on my phone flash. Ever since Silvia mentioned Donna has been calling, I’ve tried to think of every reason she would have to contact me, but I came up empty. I guess I’m finally about to find out.
Taking a deep breath, I push the flashing light.
“Good morning. This is Jordan Taylor, how can I help you?” I say in the most professional voice I can muster.
“Jordan? Um . . .” Donna pauses then clears her throat. “This is Donna Adams. Chase’s mother,” she nervously mumbles.
&nb
sp; “Yes, Mrs. Adams, my PA informed me who was calling. I hate to be rude but I’m very busy. Could you please get straight to the reason you’re calling?”
If it weren’t for the light on my phone, I’d wonder if she hung up. The silence stretches for a few more seconds before she finally decides to speak up, only now her voice sounds weak.
“Chase is hurt.” I hear her sniffle. “He’s in the hospital and I was hoping you’d come to visit him.” Now I’m the silent one. I’m repeating what I think I heard her say over and over in my head but it doesn’t make sense.
“Chase is hurt?” I repeat.
“Yes.” My heart instantly sinks. No matter what life has dealt us, I never wanted anything bad to happen to him.
“Oh. I’m ...I’m very sorry to hear that, Mrs. Adams. I hope he gets well soon. Was there something else you needed?” I question because I’m still quite confused as to why she’s called me.
“Yes. I want you to come here and see him.” Donna’s tone was sharp, almost the tone a mother uses when she’s scorning her child.
“Mrs. Adams, I—”
“Donna. Please call me Donna. You never called me Mrs. Adams before.”
Before. She couldn’t have said that better. I did a lot of things differently ...before. “I called you by your first name ten years ago when I was dating your son because I felt comfortable around you and in your home. That is no longer the case. But it does make me wonder, Mrs. Adams, why in the world would you ask me of all people to visit Chase?”
The phone is silent again, however now I can hear her lightly breathing. “Mrs. Adams, I’m sorry—”
“PLEASE. I’m begging you. Please.” The desperation in her voice is clear, but I just can’t understand the reason behind it.
“You’re going to have to give me more than a please. I’m sorry that he’s hurt but this is not my problem. Chase made it clear that I wasn’t going to be a part of his life when he dumped me and then left for college. That was ten years ago, Mrs. Adams, and I haven’t heard from him since. And to be honest, I think I’m the last person he’d want visiting him.”
She sighs heavily before saying, “I wasn’t positive, but I was hoping maybe you had seen him over the years. This really is our fault.” Donna huffs out a breath before continuing. “We convinced him it was best for you if he allowed you to go off to college and experience what life had to offer. If you two had stayed together, you would have held each other back and that wasn’t fair to either of you.”
I remain quiet, not wanting to relive the past with a woman that just willingly admitted to playing a role in the demise of our relationship.
“Jordan, he never wanted to break up with you, and after he did ...well, as his mother, I knew we made a monumental mistake. He wasn’t the same without you. And right now he’s lying in a hospital bed after suffering a blow to his head. He’s confused and for whatever reason he thinks the two of you are married.”
My heart drops to my stomach. Married? He thinks the two of us are ...married.
“He woke up several days ago and he’s gone from worried to upset because his wife hasn’t shown up to see him. Last night he had to be sedated, and no one knows if or when he’ll get his memory back, at least, the correct one. But...”
My hands are shaking and my heart is slowly breaking as I listen to her. I can’t believe this has happened to him, and now after ten years, he’s somehow involved me in his life.
“His doctor said it’s possible if he sees the grown-up version of you, it might spark his memory, especially if he hasn’t seen you in all of this time. At this point, I’m willing to do anything because watching him wonder where you’re at is just too much. It’s breaking my heart.” She sniffles again and I can hear the tears in her voice.
She’s waiting for me to give her an answer, but I’m not sure I have one. Years ago, I heard that Chase was drafted to the Arizona Cardinals. Other than that, I’ve made it a point not to know what is going on in his life.
“I know you must be busy with work. Congratulations, by the way, with everything you’ve achieved. But, please, I’m begging you to come here and see him.”
“Where is here, Mrs. Adams?” I say as I close my eyes in defeat.
“He’s at Phoenix Medical Center.”
I silently curse myself for even considering what she’s asking me. “I’ll need to think about this, but you can leave your number with my PA. If I decide to make the trip, I’ll let you know.”
“Oh, Jordan, please. I’m begging you. He’s so confused and upset, and I think you’re the only one who can make things right.”
“I’ll think about it. I have to go.” Before Donna can get another word in, I transfer the call back to Silvia. I’m staring down at my desk when I see a drop of water then another before it finally dawns on me that I’m crying.
Chase is someone I think I could handle accidentally running into. A quick “How are you doing? That’s great. Well, I got to go” conversation, but not this. Why in the world would he think we’re married? Does that mean he thinks about me? God ...I could be opening a huge door if I make the trip to see him. At the same time, he might take one look at me and snap out of it once he remembers all the reasons he was able to let me go so easily.
I don’t even know what Chase looks like these days. Ten years ago, Chase had a body that put any other guy I knew to shame. His father made sure he worked out for hours every single day and it paid off in a way that made it impossible not to notice him. He had short, dark brown hair, alluring hazel eyes, but none of that mattered to me. What truly sold me on Chase was the beauty I saw on the inside, the beauty I saw after I got to know the boy he kept hidden from everyone else. The boy that would mow his neighbor’s yard when she got too old to do it herself, the boy that put money on Gunner Brown’s lunch account to make sure he’d always have at least one good meal every day. The boy that pulled over to the side of the road to help a dog that someone else hit with their car.
The list of amazing things Chase did was never-ending, and more importantly ...he always did things because it was the right thing to do and never because he was looking for credit for his good deeds.
Knowing the kind of person Chase was only added to my devastation when he broke up with me. I wasn’t prepared for him to break my heart because he promised me we’d be fine. Then he went back on his word, and that was something Chase never did. He let me go without a second thought, which left me to wonder if our entire relationship was one big lie.
JORDAN
“You can’t be serious. Get your ass on a plane back to New York, now!” I breathe out a sigh as Lacey hollers in my ear.
When I got home last night, all I could think about was Chase. I owe him nothing yet I couldn’t get Donna’s plea out of my head. Caving to my curiosity, I looked up Chase’s name on the internet. At first, I didn’t even recognize him. According to the most recent photo I could find, his brown hair is long and wavy on the top with curls framing his ears. Over the years, he alternated between a clean-cut look to a full beard. No matter, his hazel eyes popped in almost every picture I looked at. He looks older but not old by any means. Time has done nothing to take away from his gorgeous looks.
The articles I read were ones that reminded me of the Chase I once knew. I saw pictures of him with sick children in the hospital. He volunteers both his time and money at a local animal shelter. But what finally sold me on the idea of jumping on a plane to see what I could do to help him was the lack of females he’s been photographed with.
During the last ten years, I’ve pictured Chase as a man whore and maybe he is. If he is, at least he’s smart enough not to be photographed with a different woman every weekend. He’s never been married, no children and no pregnancy scares, at least, none that were made public. From everything I could find he appears to be a great football player and an overall good guy.
Maybe Donna was telling me the truth. Maybe Chase broke up with me for some noble reason, which is
why I bought a plane ticket to Phoenix.
I knew Lacey would blow up—and rightfully so—if she knew where I was going. She’s the only person that truly knows what I went through after Chase broke up with me. She held my hand and reminded me on a regular basis what a douchebag loser he was, and even though she’s never met him, I know she hates him on principle alone.
“Calm down. I’ll be back in three days, Lacey.”
“Three fucking days? What the hell, Jordan? You don’t owe this guy shit. He broke your fucking heart. Please tell me you haven’t forgotten that!” she screeches in my ear, causing me to pull the phone away until she’s done ranting.
“Argh, of course I haven’t, Lace. Look, I just arrived at the hospital. I’ll call you tonight when I make it back to my hotel room. Please do not worry about me.”
“Whatever,” she says before the line goes dead. Geez ...Lacey never hangs up on me. I think she might be on a whole new level of crazy at the moment. I guess it was a good call to wait until I arrived in Arizona to tell her what I was doing.
When I called Donna to tell her I would make the trip today, she asked me to send her a text when I arrived at the hospital. Visitors aren’t allowed anywhere near Chase’s room without a family member’s approval. The only thing I know is that Chase is on the eleventh floor.
After sending Donna a text, I take the main elevator up to his floor then wait for her by the elevator banks. That’s when Mr. Adams spots me.
I give him a polite and extremely fake smile but he looks angry. Livid might be more appropriate. Steve Adams’s anger seems to be aimed straight at me.
“What in the hell are you doing here?” Um ...what?
Steve narrows his eyes. “Do you really think this is what my son needs right now? Huh, do you? You almost destroyed his chance to play football before and he sure as hell doesn’t need you here to do it again.”
Living With Regret Page 3