His face nuzzles into my neck. “I want ...no that’s not it. I need to fuck you so you’ll remember who you belong to. Listening to your friend ...Shit. I want to tie you to my bed and do filthy twisted things to your sweet, fuckable little body. The next time either of us thinks about sex, it will be this moment, my fingers, my hand, my cock that you remember making you come.”
I swallow loudly. Holy. Shit. Goodbye to the sweet boy I remember and hello to the shameless man that just promised me dirty pleasure.
“Yes, please,” I say with a smile.
CHASE
I’m standing in a pretentious ballroom surrounded by rich assholes in a suit and tie and I hate it. I fucking hate it, but the alternative was Jordan coming with someone else, and I wasn’t about to let that happen.
Jordan told me her friend Lacey’s firm was invited but not Lacey personally. I think that was a good call because I have an overwhelming feeling to walk up to one of these rich assholes and say something beyond inappropriate just to see how they’d react, something I’m sure Lacey would actually do.
After I first moved in next to Jordan and we were rekindling our relationship, she had mentioned that Lacey wasn’t my biggest fan, and I’m not surprised. Actually, it’s because of that loyalty I find myself respecting her even more. She has my girl’s back no matter what and that’s the way a true friend acts.
What I don’t care for is listening to the obnoxious tales of Jordan with other men. I’m hoping for my fucking sake that some of the shit she’s said in the last week has been exaggerated, otherwise I might go crazy.
After the visit from Lacey that Sunday morning, Jordan patiently waited for me to ask if anything, or all of what she said, was true, but instead of asking, I allowed my depraved mind to have its way with her. After a nice, long, hard fuck, my mind seemed to relax knowing the only person she was thinking about was me and how I make her feel.
While she’s over talking to a group of uptight assholes, I head to the bar for a drink. My mother hates that I have a drink even occasionally, but alcohol was never my vice. Other than a couple months ago when Jordan left, I’ve treated alcohol like any other fool. I may have a drink here or there, and if I do get smashed, I wake up feeling like shit and drinking again in the near future is out of the question.
“A football player, huh? Jordan seems to be dipping into all sorts of society these days.”
I set my drink down and look over at the smug bastard who undoubtedly thinks he has something over me. “Yes, I’m Chase Adams, and you are?” I hold my hand out, playing the game that everyone here is expected to play, which is to put on nice clothes and pretend to like everyone, all the while making sure everyone knows you’re better than them.
This man, who obviously has money, is looking at my hand like he’d rather me knee him in the balls than actually greet me with respect.
He looks down his nose as he finally shakes my hand and confirms my suspicions. “Derek Brooks.” Brooks. That was all I had to hear to know that this man was once with my girl.
Something I never want to admit to Jordan is I probably wouldn’t recognize a majority of the women I’ve screwed in the last ten years. I went from being too messed up to remember them to fucking groupies. Most of the women that hang around players are looking for one of two things: a good story to tell or they’re hoping to land a husband. I always looked for the first option. Of course, that doesn’t explain how Carrie got her hooks in me. But other than Carrie, everyone else is a nameless, faceless woman that never mattered to me.
The same doesn’t apply to Jordan. Even living in a city as large as New York, it appears she dated men from the same circle she lives in. That means I need to learn to control my urge to kill every man that’s ever known her in a way my own stupidity allowed.
Brooks gives me an arrogant smile before throwing out another insult. “Jordan always struck me as someone with too much class to subject herself to an athlete.” His eyes narrow as he gives me a shitty grin.
I hold my smile, never once letting on that his comment actually stung. “I was thinking the same thing about you. I’ve known Jordan since we were teenagers and I never would have guessed her to date a pretentious prick, but evidently she has,” I add, acting smug myself.
“Hello, gentlemen.” We both turn at the same time to see Jordan staring at us with questioning eyes. I hold out my hand to her, and like the incredible woman I know she is, she walks straight into my arms. I look over, keeping the smug smile on my face, to see that Brooks doesn’t look the least bit phased by my claim on her.
“Jordan, I was just telling your friend here that I was surprised you’d have to stoop so low as to ask a man that plays a game for a living to be your date.”
I’m ready to punch this fucker in the face and show him the type of game I play when I look at Jordan, who has an evil smile on her face, which has me holding back.
Jordan points her finger at me while she keeps her eyes locked on this prick. “I almost told Chase’s secretary when she called that I wasn’t available, but then she informed me that my date included an endless amount of orgasms if I were to agree, so I thought what the hell. A girl can’t pass up an offer like that.” Jordan shrugs then gives me a beautiful smile.
Brooks’s whole body goes tense at her comment. I’m not sure exactly what point she was trying to make, but I know almost certainly that she was complimenting me and not him. Without another word, he turns and walks away, causing Jordan to laugh. Her smile and carefree attitude is downright sexy.
“I guess I officially owe you endless amounts of orgasms, Ms. Taylor. Remind me if I ever get a secretary to thank her.” I chuckle.
“Oh, you’re so funny, big guy. Let me go mingle for a few more minutes then we can get out of here.”
I grab ahold of her hand. “Not so fast. Endless orgasms can be a lot of pressure on a guy. We need to go somewhere so I can give you one now. I assure you mingling afterwards will be much easier.”
Jordan’s eyes go wide and she starts to protest, but I’ve already turned her, walking us out into the hall to find somewhere to be alone. This insane need to mark her as mine every time I’m reminded of her past could easily backfire, but for now she’s tolerating it.
I jerk us into a corner at the end of the hallway that leads away from the ballroom, and within seconds my mouth is attacking hers. My hands move from her arms to her tits, stroking each nipple to a hard point. I move the top of her dress to the side and pull an exquisite breast into my mouth.
“Geez, Chase, someone could see us,” she pants out.
I reluctantly pull away from her chest to look her in the eyes. “I won’t allow anyone to see you, believe me, baby. All of this is only for my eyes.” With my comment, her face changes. Lust and desire for what I’m promising takes over, encouraging me to go on.
I look over my shoulder to confirm no one is around then I lean down and slip her panties down and off her legs, tucking them in my pocket. On my way back up, I catch the end of her dress and bring it up with me as my other hand is unzipping my pants.
Seconds later my dick is sliding into her wet pussy while my fingers are digging into her ass, keeping her in the exact place we both desperately need. Our breathing becomes fast, almost labored, but that doesn’t stop me from sucking a nipple into my mouth, causing her to moan my name rather loud.
“Shhh, baby, this is for us. We don’t need an audience.”
Jordan doesn’t say another word as she arches her back against the wall, causing me to go even deeper. “Fuck, baby.” I moan out, probably louder than Jordan did moments ago.
“Faster. I need you to go faster,” she says through a pant.
I can feel her tightening on me as I’m rocking into her with as much speed as I can manage since I’m the one holding both her and her damn dress up. Thankfully, a few thrusts later I feel her start to clench down on me. I continue to slam inside of her, and moments later she starts to come on my dick. She shudders
her release, causing me to fall with her.
As we start to come back down from our sexual high, I take a good long look at this woman and I realize I’m not just crazy about her; I’m totally in love with her.
I thought I loved her before when my memory was still hazy, and afterwards, I was left confused about what my real feelings were, but there’s nothing to be confused about now. I absolutely love this woman and somehow life has offered me another chance. A chance, I without a doubt don’t deserve, but one that I would have been a fucking fool not to take.
“Wow.” She sighs with a smile on her face. “When I thought about coming here tonight, getting fucked against the wall never crossed my mind. You sure have a way of delivering a memorable time, Mr. Adams.” She’s relaxed and joking, just the way I want her.
“I’m glad to hear that, baby. Now go back and mingle so we can get the fuck out of here and away from these rich, snobby assholes.”
I pull out of her then she slides down the wall until her feet reach the floor. After she fixes her dress, she starts to walk away. She stops a few steps from me and looks over her shoulder. “I’ve never mingled without panties on before,” she whispers with a smirk on her face.
Before I have the chance to offer them back, she’s gone. I just claimed her, marked her as mine in every way a man can, and still I’m going half-berserk at the idea of her walking around those assholes smelling like sex and without any panties on.
God, I need to get a ring on that woman’s finger, but she’s not ready. I know that much. In the meantime, I guess I’ll reap the rewards of my own irrational thoughts.
JORDAN
Christmas and New Year’s came and went, and Chase spent every moment of the holidays with me. The two of us made the trip together to my parents’ house. We stopped a few times on the drive down at places I knew he’d love.
We invited his mother to come and stay with us, but she’s hell bent on the idea of establishing a life that doesn’t have her depending on her son or soon to be ex-husband.
I somehow convinced Chase we shouldn’t exchange gifts. Even though it’s been three months since I first saw him again, we spent most of that time apart, and I knew what would happen if we bought each other presents. It would be something impersonal like a gift card or something over the top like a piece of jewelry. When we do start exchanging gifts, I want them to be gifts from the heart. Items only a person that really knows you would think to buy, and as much as I care and probably love Chase, we’re not to that point yet.
Chase and I are doing what we do best on a Friday night. We’re staying in and watching a movie. Ten minutes into the movie, my intercom buzzes. Chase, who’s practically moved in with me, climbs out from behind me on the couch and walks over to answer it without even questioning if he should.
“Yes?”
“Oh, Mr. Adams, you’re the person I was looking for. You told me if I thought you were home and not answering at your apartment to try Ms. Taylor’s.” Chase turns and smiles at me. He seems quite proud of himself that he’s informed Don of his usual whereabouts. “You have a visitor here, a Mr. Jake Girard. He’d like approval to come up.”
“Oh. Sure, send him up.” Chase’s brows bunch and he sighs, acting displeased that his friend is here.
“Would you also tell Ms. Taylor that Ms. Davis is on her way up as well?”
“Certainly. Thanks, Don,” he replies in a flat tone.
I stand up and walk over to him, keeping my eyes glued to his. “I take it you didn’t know that Jake was in town?” I ask as I wrap my arms around his waist.
His jaw ticks. “No. We didn’t make the playoffs so he’s officially done for the year, but I would have expected him to call before coming all the way here.”
I look around. “Where’s your cell phone? Maybe he tried calling you.”
Chase nervously laughs. “Fuck, I don’t know. Ma rarely calls and when I’m with you I usually don’t pay any attention to where I’ve left it.”
I walk to the door and open it so Jake will know which apartment we’re in. When I turn around, I run straight into Chase’s chest. His arms wrap around me as he nuzzles his face into my neck. “You mean the world to me, you know that right?”
Everything in me stills. I thought his friend was here to visit him, but something’s not right. Before I have the chance to say anything, Lacey and Caleb step off the elevator and start marching down the hall towards our apartments.
Lacey walks up to Chase, acting like she’s ready to kill him. “You stupid son-of-a-bitch!” she hollers, pointing her finger at his chest.
“Whoa, what’s going on, Lace?” I’m definitely missing something.
Before Lacey can get another word out, Caleb speaks up. “Chill the fuck out, Lace. If you get arrested, I’m not bailing your ass out, especially for assault charges.”
As Lacey starts ranting about killing Chase—and the many places she’ll dump his body—the elevator opens again with Jake’s arrival. He walks down the hallway with a smile on his face that fades away when Lacey turns to me.
“Did the asshole tell you that she’s pregnant?” My heart drops to my stomach because Lacey is still pointing at Chase. My eyes thin to slits. Chase got someone pregnant? “Whore Barbie made a very public announcement earlier today that she’s expecting this jackass’s kid.”
I immediately step away from Chase as his eyes are searching mine for something. “I don’t understand . . .” I whisper.
“He fucked her and now she’s knocked up. Unfortunately, there’s nothing else to understand,” Lacey snaps back.
“Seriously? What’s wrong with you? Lacey, you need to learn a little tact when you’re dealing with someone else’s emotions,” Caleb tells Lacey, who turns her glare towards him.
I shake my head. “Oh my God.” I walk back into my apartment, not caring if anyone follows me. I reach the back of the couch, the same place we were laying peacefully just moments ago, when Jake speaks up.
“Looks like I arrived just in time for the party,” he adds in his normal, arrogant voice.
“Yeah, blockhead, you arrived just in time to take your jerk of a friend home with you,” Lacey tells him.
I sit down and place my head in my hands, trying like hell not to cry. “Chase, dude, when was the last time you tapped that nitwit Carrie?”
Oh, shit. I’m going to be sick if I have to sit here and listen to this. “And you said I didn’t have any tact? What about this asshole?”
At the moment, I agree with Lacey.
“I only asked because I know for a fact that Carrie has been fucking just about any guy with a few zeros in his checking account, and unless Chase here fucked her after he woke up, after you came and went, then the kid she’s having—if she’s even pregnant—isn’t his.”
Before I can even process everything he just said, Chase jumps to his feet in excitement. “Yesssss!” he says, punching the air.
“Hold the fuck up, how does that prove he’s not the father? He’s admitted to having sex with her,” Lacey says while narrowing her eyes at Chase.
My hands are trembling in fear; fear that the life I started to picture isn’t going to happen—again. “Because Carrie is dumber than a box of rocks. She told the tabloid that bought her story that she is eight weeks pregnant. Chase’s concussion was almost fifteen weeks ago, so unless he had sex with her after his memory went haywire, then due to her own words, it’s not his kid.” Jake crosses his arms over his chest and waits for Chase to say something.
My eyes find Chase’s, looking for him to tell me again there’s no way this could be his kid. “I didn’t. I swear. I’m sure there was a time in my life when I had sex with her, but I don’t even remember it,” he tells me as his eyes closely watch my every move.
“Jordan, his head is messed up. Without a DNA test, you can’t be positive.” I look at Lacey then back to Chase, who’s getting pissed.
“I had a hard time remembering shit that happened before I hit my
head not afterwards. I know for a fact I didn’t fuck Carrie after I woke up in that goddamn hospital!” he growls at Lacey.
Caleb tugs on Lacey’s arm and thankfully she relents on whatever she planned to say next.
“You have to believe me, Jordan. I know when you walked out of my door she had herself attached to my arm, but that is the one and only time I remember being in the same room with her. She came over to my house several times after you left, but I refused to even let her step foot in my house.” He pauses and I can hear the desperation in his voice.
“The two months we were apart, I spent it either alone, with Ma, or with my doctors, and the entire time I was obsessing over losing you. I wanted to be with you, to be good enough to be a part of your world, but I also knew I had fucked up twice. I couldn’t come back to you until I had my shit together, but not a second of that time did I spend with Carrie or any other female other than my mother.”
He’s waiting for me to respond. I know Chase is panicked and desperate enough to do anything to keep me, but I don’t believe he’d lie—not about this.
I take a calming breath. “You knew something was wrong earlier. Why? Why didn’t you come to me with this if you knew?” My voice cracks and I sniffle, still holding in my tears.
Chase drops to his knees in front of me and takes my face in his hands. “Remember when I purchased a new phone?” I nod. “That was because Carrie kept calling and texting my old one. I never gave her my new number but somehow she got it and shortly before Christmas, Carrie started calling and texting me nonstop, telling me she needed to see me. I never responded to a single one and eventually I blocked her number, but then she started calling me from her friend’s phone, but I ignored them, too. I knew in my gut the second Don said Jake was here it had something to do with Carrie’s calls. We’ve been in a great place for a while now. I didn’t want to ruin it. That’s the same reason I didn’t get a new number. You would’ve ask me why and I promised I wouldn’t lie, remember?”
Living With Regret Page 19