His father didn’t seem to appreciate his efforts. His indifference irked Landon and had him stewing for years. By the time he did find Kim, he’d been itching to leave. Reuniting with her, he had no intention of leaving. Maybe she’d said he’d ruined her life and her career. Maybe he could give her something better. He might have crushed her dreams but perhaps together they could come up with a new set.
I have the funding. I have the plan. I have an obligation to my investors to see this through and I’m not leaving without her.
“You’re awfully quiet.”
“I guess I’m trying to figure out how to tell you something I’ve never told anyone before.”
“And what’s that?”
He took in a deep breath, the lemon furniture polish filling his nostrils. The scent had been as familiar to him as the soap his clothes had been laundered in his whole life. He unclenched his fists and dropped his shoulders. Confessing everything would never get easier.
“I met the love of my life in college, and everything happened so quickly she slid through my fingers and I lost her. I came here to find her, and now I’m afraid I’ve pushed her away for good.”
Her eyes went wide, the only indication that she’d heard him. “I’m stunned. Does your mother know about this?”
Landon sighed and dragged a hand through his hair. He slumped against the back of the chair, dropping the posture his grandmother expected. But her wide eyes made him think he might get away with bad manners, just this once.
“The weekend before graduation I came home to tell them. Mother kept changing the topic every time I tried to broach the subject. And Father wouldn’t listen to anything I had to say. By the time I got back, she’d left. I didn’t know what to do or where to turn. I didn’t want to run from my family after someone who’d run from me. For a long time, I didn’t know what direction I was headed or wanted to go. Moving back home and just assuming a role for Father and Mother felt easy and safe. But I never gave up hope I’d find her and I did.”
“Dear, I had no clue. You never let on that anything was wrong. But you also never came back to visit.”
“If I had, I would have found her a lot sooner.”
“Do I know her?”
Grandmother tapped a finger against her chin in consideration. Never one to sit on the sidelines, he watched her mentally flip through names and faces of every prospect. If he didn’t stall her, she’d figure out the identity. He didn’t need his grandmother running over to Kim’s house and officially ending any chance he had with her.
“I think you do,” Landon relented. “But out of respect for her, I think I’ll keep her name to myself for a little bit.”
“I’m so sorry your parents pushed you away. I blame myself for that. I’ve had a rough road with your mother all these years.”
“Why is that? She adores you, Grandmother. Why have you never come to visit Savannah?”
“Why hasn’t she been down to see me?” she countered, crossing her arms. “You don’t understand mothers and daughters.”
Landon shifted in his chair. Her direct stare had only been aimed at him a few times through the years.
“No, I don’t. But I understand you and I understand her. And I think you both are missing out on a lot by not figuring out how to move forward and have a relationship.”
“It’s not so simple. Nothing has ever been simple for me. I started working because my family needed all of us children to work as soon as we were able. When I turned twenty, I met your grandfather. He swept me off my feet into a lifestyle I had no comparison to. He asked that I stop working and I complied after I got pregnant with your mother. I thought I’d be raising my daughter. I had no idea I was expected to let my little girl be raised by nannies.
“In the early years, I was not welcomed to participate in any charity functions on any committee. I was snubbed because of my background. Your grandfather grew up with money and had never worked a day in his life. He wanted to travel constantly. But do you have any idea how boring life becomes when all you do is relax?”
His grandmother shuddered, and he knew the question had been rhetorical. His life had never been hard, per se. But he had spent time working towards goals, not just traveling from place to place. He could only imagine how impossible she’d find the tedium.
“My family couldn’t understand what I was complaining about. They were working class people struggling to make ends meet. Eventually we grew apart. Your grandfather and I grew apart as well, and sadly that was a blessing. On my own, I went back to work. I was too old to perform with the Rockettes but I started helping with anything they’d let me do, costumes, choreography, and organizing events. I still had connections with your grandfather’s world and had been given a handsome settlement that made me wealthy in my own right. I think as I started to respect myself again I started to take charge more and worked with causes I was passionate about. I became someone on my terms and then I fell in love with George.
“He was fabulously wealthy but he’d earned every dollar himself. We respected each other, brought out the best in each other, and fell in love. He passed away when you were small. You would have liked George a lot. Unfortunately, I never figured out how to make a relationship with your mother work. When she was small, the nannies considered me in the way. Your mother has always been sweet, joyful, and delicate. I couldn’t relate. She grew up with every privilege and luxury. She never had to work hard for anything. I couldn’t relate to her and eventually I pushed her away.
“You, Landon, were my second chance. I got a second chance at love with George and a second chance at family with you. You don’t know how much you mean to me.”
Landon nodded but his heart hurt. He wanted to rub a palm over his chest, to ease the ache. Instead, he kept his hands on the table. He didn’t want a second chance at love. He wanted to get things right with his first choice. And while he’d always cherished his relationship with her, he didn’t want either his mother or grandmother to miss out on each other. Both women had shaped him.
“If you could have a relationship with her now, what would you want?”
“I guess I always thought we’d end up as friends. Maybe after the chaos of childrearing, of marriages, and of loss we’d find some common ground. I guess I hoped time would help us find our way back to one another. But I think inaction has only put more distance between us.”
“You know she always talks about how charity work runs in her blood. She always name drops you. She respects you so much.”
“She does?” Her voice nearly cracked.
He inched his fingers across the table to squeeze her hand. His strong, bold grandmother had almost shown weakness. Maybe showing more would help her and mother get back to each other. Maybe there was something in that for him too.
“Give her another chance.”
“Are you going to give love another chance? Are you going to set aside this relationship that isn’t going anywhere and find someone?”
“I’m going to move forward,” he replied, his jaw set in a firm line. She didn’t need to know how he was going to move forward, only that he was.
“Don’t regret your choices.”
I already do.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
The rush of water sounded like a far off fast moving stream. Staring out the kitchen window, Kim saw nothing. Her reaction earlier that day after the perceived threat of a beautiful new woman in town and a family that loved Scooter had shocked her. She had no right to either Landon or Scooter she kept reminding herself. They weren’t hers.
No one is.
The sudden chill of the water on her fingers snapped her back to the present. She shut off the faucet with one hand and carried the dog bowl over to the little spot she’d left for Scooter. When she opened the bag of his kibble, the dog came running and nearly caught the scoops of food in his mouth as she bent to fill his bowl.
“Alright, dinner time. Maybe I’d better find something too.”
; She crossed over to the spice cabinet and pulled down the seasonings to reach the hidden cookies in the back. Her sweet tooth could be epic. But hiding the treats had not deterred her from indulging at all, as she’d intended. She bit into the crisp cookie and savored the first punch of citrus tempered by sugar. No other bite tasted as good as the first, her taste buds coated in the cookie couldn’t get that clear flavor. She should put on a pot of tea to wash down the crumbs. But tea made her reflect, and she wanted to avoid any more thoughts. Circling her mind with what she should have done or should have said or how she should have acted had kept her anxious for the past few days.
The chime of her house phone interrupted her reverie. A quick glance at the clock assured her it couldn’t be her grandma; she had dance rehearsal. Curious and sure she’d only given Landon her cell phone, she took the two steps to pick up the wall-mounted phone.
“Hello?”
“Hi Kim, it’s Lily Andrew. You left the meeting before I had a chance to catch up with you.”
“Oh, sorry,” Kim’s ears burned hot. Lily might have retired, but her admonishment held the stern tone of a schoolteacher still. “I had to get home to take the dog out.”
She bit her lip, her apology and excuse weak to her own ears.
“Look, Kim, I’m not going to mince my words. I’m shocked that you didn’t disclose your association with our organization to Paul Nathan. We’ve had volunteers work for him before and it’s never been an issue.”
“I know. I’m sorry,” she replied, her voice quiet.
I didn’t want to get off the project. The truth nearly sucked the breath out of her. She’d convinced herself she’d been unable to slip out of Landon’s project, that she’d been trapped. But no, she knew that wasn’t true. She hadn’t wanted to give up his work or him. Even after all the years and the heartache, she didn’t want to lose him. Running off without ending anything between them had, in some small way, kept hope alive. That one day he’d find her and everything would magically be solved.
“I hate to see you go. And I have to tell you, the other members agree with me. We’ve discussed this at length, and if you’re willing, we’d like to offer you a job.”
“You would?” Her jaw went slack. The answer to her problems had been under her nose the whole time? Maybe she could figure out the rest of her troubles too.
“We would. We would like to hire you on as our engineer-at-large. And I’m afraid you’re going to have to start immediately.”
“That would be wonderful. I’d love to. Thank you so much.”
Kim’s words came in quick spurts as she bounced from foot to foot. Something had finally gone her way. She pumped her fist in the air.
“You’re very welcome. I need to meet you first thing in the morning. Is the coffee shop in the Pier Village okay? We’ve been pulling up old maps and surveys of that land the developer snatched up, and we think we might have a shot at saving it.”
“Really? That’s great news.”
“It is. But I’ll tell you the details in person.”
“Sounds great. Thank you so much. I’ll see you at eight.”
“Have a good night.”
She returned the phone onto the receiver. What would this mean for Landon? No, she shook herself. This land was purely business. She couldn’t let her emotions get caught up in work again. That had gotten her fired. She’d worked too hard and for too long to let her career fall apart over this. She rehid the bag of cookies although she felt sure Scooter had watched the whole thing. Snatching her cell phone off the counter, Kim slid open the back door and Scooter joined her outside.
She sank onto the old chaise lounge. The smell of sun on the still warm man-made material mingled with the dried sweat smell clinging to her skin. She needed a shower and freshly laundered pajamas after a long and exhausting day. She’d experienced every emotion—disappointment and embarrassment over losing her job and owning it at the meeting, jealousy, and now joy at her news. But she knew she wouldn’t be able to let go of the undercurrent of anxiety if she didn’t own up to what was happening to Landon, immediately.
She dialed his number and pressed the phone to her ear. He answered on the first ring.
“I was just thinking about you,” he greeted, his southern drawl making her toes curl.
“Really? And why’s that?” She cleared her throat. The eager girlishness in her voice made her wince.
“If I made reservations for dinner tomorrow night, would you join me?”
“Oh,” she gasped.
She sank deeper against the lounge, slightly boneless. After leaving him on the beach, she’d become convinced that she’d walked right into his next love interest. But then he wouldn’t ask her out to dinner, would he?
“Can I swing by at seven?”
“Is this another attempt at our just friends dinner?”
“This can be whatever you want.”
She bit her lip, testing for pain. She had to have fallen asleep in the three minutes since she’d left her house. No way did she hear correctly. Whatever she wanted? If only she knew the answer.
“Landon, I don’t know if I’ll be free tomorrow night.”
“Other plans? Better offer?”
She heard the tease in his voice but felt an undercurrent too. He used to tease her as a way of feeling out a situation. She remembered all too well the quirk of his lips contrasting the clench of his fist while he joked.
“Well, I don’t know. I just heard that I’ve found a job.”
“Congratulations. That was quick. Did Paul Nathan hire you back?”
“No, hardly, and I don’t blame him. The Society for Coastal Living actually called to offer me a job.”
“Fantastic. So now you get to work for the company you were essentially at pro bono?”
“More or less,” she acknowledged.
She wanted to feel relief that she’d landed on her feet. Ending up on the opposite side from him made her heart sink to the bottom of the chasm between them. His happy voice threw her. Did he not understand the ramifications? Or not care?
“Then we have something to celebrate. Maybe I should find a fancy restaurant.”
Would friends do that? The question hovered on her lips. Too afraid to ask and get a label that she didn’t know she wanted or the other that maybe she couldn’t handle quite yet.
“Actually, I think I might be in for a late night. And I wanted to call you and offer full disclosure. My first job will be examining all the details on your plot of land. The SCL doesn’t give up so easily.”
“I wouldn’t expect them to, and you’re welcome to try. I can’t imagine a plot of land would be sold if it hadn’t already been vetted.”
You’d be surprised. Stories of major archaeological finds during everyday construction had fascinated her. Most of those finds had happened over in England where pieces of civilization had been buried under new development during the centuries.
“I just wanted to let you know. I’ve come to understand I need to air the potential conflict of interest publically, to avoid a problem.”
“Does that mean you’ll take me up on my offer for another night?”
“I think I will,” she scrunched up her nose and gripped the chair as she answered. She’d let the words tumble out before sense could stop her and tell her to back off.
“Great. I’ll look forward to it.”
“Landon, I know you’re confident about your land, but you should know, if you don’t already, that it may have overlapped with part of plantation.”
“Thanks for the concern, Kim. But I’m sure it’s fine. I tell you what I am meeting with a builder tomorrow and should be on track to start breaking ground next week. Why don’t you come out when we start digging the first foundations and you can oversee that everything is done properly.”
She nibbled her lip. The plan did have its merits. She’d get the opportunity both to oversee the project and spend time with him. In a professional capacity, she didn’t have t
o worry about what to say. She could rely on her job.
“Come on, say you’ll stop by.” Landon’s voice lowered and sounded almost husky.
For a split second, she forgot what they were talking about. He almost sounded like he’d invited her to stop by his house. Nope. Not happening. She’d learned the hard way what getting involved too quickly could do. It could destroy someone emotionally. She’d vowed to treat herself better. She deserved more. She wanted a commitment before she gave someone her body and her heart again. The only man she’d ever considered remained Landon, but she was not about to rush into something with him.
“Okay, I’ll take you up on the offer. But I do think a corner of the land might house the cemetery for the plantation’s slaves. I know the graves were not formally marked and their position on the property was lost over the years through fires of documents and the family dying out.”
“It’s fine. But I’ll be glad to have you on site. Maybe you’ll even be able to give me a few tips. I want this development to be part of the community, not an off-shot.”
“I’ll see you then. Good night, Landon.”
“Good night.”
She hung up the phone and continued to rest in the lounge. The quickly darkening sky brought a chill to the air and Kim rubbed her arms. She finally believed that autumn was approaching, the weather had finally caught up to the calendar.
Whatever you want it to be.
A shiver coursed through her. She wanted so much. But did she deserve any of it? Could she reach out and grab her chance? Or had that moment slipped past? She’d finally gotten one piece of her puzzle back into the box since he’d broken the puzzle and thrown the pieces around the room. She had a job and one that she was passionate about. Maybe she could find a few more pieces too. If she could muster enough courage to search.
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