She’d even taken his dinner out to the cave because he didn’t come in. Besides, she’d hauled the deer haunch to the cave. That had been the real point of the cave after all—cool storage for meat.
She’d finished the deer, started tanning the hide, put another layer of mud on the cabin, fed the animals, started dinner, and even found time to play with the little black colt. And still her husband didn’t come. Now, just as she was starting to worry that the venison roast would dry out, here he came. With a sigh of relief, she stepped outside to wave hello.
When he caught sight of her, he straightened and began walking faster, a determined, if slightly forced smile on his dirty face.
Mandy didn’t think she’d ever seen Sidney dirty before. Not from work at least. “Dinner is ready as soon as you wash up.”
Nodding, Sidney came up onto the three steps that made a stoop on the back of the house. “I had a good day. It takes some practice to get the shovel to work and I kept hitting stone. I might ride to Helena tomorrow and buy a pickax.”
Mandy didn’t mention that they had almost no money left. And she certainly didn’t mention her ma’s money. Sidney probably had enough for a pick. And though it came in very handy, she didn’t really need money to survive.
A pickax—one tool her folks hadn’t included in the supplies they’d sent, nor had the Hardens included one in their housewarming gifts, even though they knew Sidney wanted to dig for gold. Mandy was sorely afraid that omission showed their dim view of gold mining.
“Do you want me to ride along?” Mandy wasn’t sure Sidney knew the way to Helena. It was a long and poorly marked trail through broken ground and heavy woods. She worried that he’d ride off and not find his way back to her.
“No need. You’ll be alright here alone, won’t you?” Sidney was suddenly very attentive, despite the lines of exhaustion on his face. “Are you afraid to stay here without me?”
“I’ll be fine. I just thought the two of us together might scout the trail better. Are you considering asking around about a lawyerin’ job?”
Shaking his head, Sidney said, “Of course not. Why work as a lawyer when there’s gold to be carved out of these mountains?”
Mandy was careful not to let him see her sigh. Why work indeed—as if Sidney hadn’t worked himself to the bone today. For no money.
Sidney ate heartily of the roast but didn’t talk much. He kept yawning and rubbing his eyes.
Mandy noticed ugly blisters on his hands and knew the man would harden up if he kept mining. That might not be a bad thing.
He went directly to bed after he ate, and Mandy felt a twinge of hurt that he hadn’t stayed to talk with her while she cleaned up after the meal or invited her to turn in along with him for the night. After all, there was no one else to talk to around here. If they didn’t talk to each other, then they talked to no one at all. That would be a lonely life indeed.
Mandy had grown up surrounded by people. Lots of brothers and sisters on a thriving cattle ranch. There was always plenty of company. Now she washed the dishes alone, to the sound of her husband snoring in the little bedroom the Hardens had included on this tightly built cabin. The aloneness almost echoed in her ears.
She said a long, heartfelt prayer for her family, and things she needed protection from: homesickness, loneliness, resentment.
She missed her family terribly. It was all she could do to keep from crying when she thought that she might never see them again.
Afraid she could slip into a life seeded with envy, she turned her thoughts to praise, fighting off feelings of jealousy that Beth was now living at home, soaking in that peaceful, settled life.
Their log hurled toward the bank. The canyon narrowed.
“Brace yourself, Alex!” Beth swallowed a mouthful of dirty water, choking as she clung to the log.
She saw Alex jerk awake. He’d nodded off for a minute when the water had calmed briefly. He grabbed for the log and held on tight.
The current picked up. The water churned white and rough, a sudden dip of their tree splashed water high.
Beth was heartily sick of this ride. They’d been careening along for a good chunk of the day. The sheer canyon walls lining this arroyo had prevented them from climbing out.
Alex blinked his eyes and tightened his hold on the nearest branch. The tree was now about six feet long. The narrow end had been battered and snapped off repeatedly.
Then Beth saw what she’d been looking for all day. “There’s a break in the canyon wall, Alex.” She pointed to the arroyo wall, just past this narrow spot.
They had to survive the narrows first, but past the white, churning water breaking over protruding stones was their first chance to get out of here. They’d be very lucky to get through the rapids, but once through, they could finally get out of here and go … where?
Alex said Fort Union.
Beth said home.
He was too big to knock senseless and drag along back to her parents’ ranch. If she’d had a horse she could manage it.
The log rammed into one of the bigger stones.
Beth flew forward, clinging to her handhold, the rifle and doctor’s bag securely hitched to her body. She stayed with the bouncing, twisting log for a few seconds, remembering a particularly feisty bronco she’d busted when she’d been growing up. Then a second jolt tore her loose from the tree and sent her tumbling head over heels into the water.
She went under and resisted gasping for breath—barely. She rammed into a stone with her shoulder and flipped onto her stomach. Slashing at the water with her arms, she surfaced, dragged her lungs full of air, and then was plunged beneath the water again. Battling the rushing current, she emerged from the torrent once again and sighted that low spot in the arroyo bank. She struck out for the shore using strength born of desperation. She wanted out of this place, and who knew when she and Alex would get another chance.
The low spot was a tumbled-down pile of rocks, looking as if the bank had caved in. It wasn’t a long stretch, and the water seemed to be taunting her by sweeping her away from that chance for escape.
Submerged again, she collided with something soft. Her head cleared the water and she was face-to-face with Alex. His eyes looked glazed and a rivulet of blood trickled down from his temple.
Beth slung one arm around him and continued kicking toward the shore. They looked to be going past when a sudden eddy swirled them around and kicked them out so hard they landed with a thud on the scattered rocks.
“Hang on, Alex. We made it, but you have to hang on.” Beth’s legs were still in the water, and it was as if there was a gripping hand on her feet, determined to drag her into the depths. But she was a tough Texas cowgirl and she hadn’t gotten to her ripe old age of twenty without facing trouble head-on. Her grip on the rocks held as if God Himself gave her strength, which she suspected He did.
Alex’s movements were clumsy, but he dragged himself forward, inch by inch. Slightly ahead of her, he turned back. Some of the daze was gone from his eyes and he caught hold of her wrist and tugged her up beside him.
The streaming water gave one last yank, like a spoiled child denied its toy, then she surged forward and landed like a beleaguered catfish, splat, beside Alex.
They were truly on dry land.
Beth used every ounce of strength she had to turn her head, now resting on the forbidding scratchy rocks, and open her eyes to see Alex.
He stared at her, bleeding but with a weary smile. “We made it, Beth. We’re safe.”
Beth closed her eyes and dragged in more precious air. “We are.” Then her head cleared enough for her to add, “Except for that bounty hunter behind us and a firing squad ahead of us.”
“Just give me this moment, okay?” Alex asked.
Beth lay there breathing until she had the energy to do more than breathe. With a groan, she pushed herself to her hands and knees and looked at the mess in front of her. Yes, they’d found a break in the arroyo wall, but they still had ab
out a hundred yards of jagged rock to climb before they could really say they’d made it.
“Let’s go, Alex.” She looked at him, to goad him into moving. The whole left side of his face was soaked with blood. Beth reared up on her knees as Alex tried to rise. “Stop. Don’t move.” She wrenched her doctor’s bag off her arm and saw that she’d left a deep welt from having the bag so tightly wedged. Opening the bag, water spilled out and Beth poured the soggy stream onto the rocks, careful to protect her precious, and possibly destroyed, contents.
“I’m fine, Beth. Let’s get up this rubble of rock before we worry about a little scratch.”
“Hush, you’ve lost a lot of blood. It will only take a minute for me to get the bleeding stopped.”
Alex shook his head, but Beth suspected he felt terrible because instead of arguing more, he rested the unwounded side of his face on a warm, mostly flat stone and let her work on him.
She found a roll of cotton bandages and quickly formed a tidy, if soggy, pad to press on the small cut.
“Ouch!” Alex lifted his head. “Be careful. My head’s taken all the abuse it can for one day.”
With a gentle laugh, Beth started crooning to him. “I’m sorry you’re hurt. Just be still. Let me help you. Let me—”
“Don’t use that voice on me like I’m a scared little girl,” Alex grumbled, but he lay his head back down and quit scolding.
Stifling another laugh, Beth kept up her soothing talk as she tended Alex, pressing on the wound until she was satisfied the bleeding had stopped. Then using another length of the bandage, she wrapped it tight around Alex’s head. She bathed away the blood that made him look so terribly injured and decided he’d live after all.
By the time she was done, Alex had seemed to fully rouse from the daze left by the head bashing. “Thanks, honey. You’re a good doctor.”
“Only good?” Beth arched a brow.
“Great.” Alex got to his knees, leaned forward, and kissed her. “The best.” His eyes met hers and he kissed her again, slowly, deeply, beautifully.
Beth had never felt anything like that kiss. It was “thank you” and “I’m glad I’m alive,” and, to her wary heart, it was “I love you.”
She kissed him back just as fervently as he kissed her. When the kiss ended, their eyes met and Beth knew. He’d said it with a kiss. Now it was time for her to be just as brave with her words. “I love you.”
Alex’s eyes showed shock then deep abiding gratitude. “I love you, too.” He pulled her hard against him and this time the kiss was pure passion.
And that’s when reality finally, fully returned. Beth jerked away from him and grabbed his wrist. She felt his pulse beating strong and alive and vital. “I love you too much to stand by while you turn yourself over to a firing squad.”
The pleasure in Alex’s eyes faded, replaced by grim determination. “And I love you too much to stand by while a heartless man kills you because you happen to be sitting next to me on a wagon seat. I won’t do it, Beth. I won’t save my own life at the cost of yours.”
“We can move.” Beth grabbed his hand. “We can leave the area, go back East. That man wouldn’t follow us to Boston. We could go where your father lives.”
“Lived. My father’s dead. He died ashamed of me because his son had turned deserter and run rather than face danger. I disgraced him and failed him in the lowest way possible, and I never had a chance to make it right. I’m not doing it again, disgracing you and myself the way I did him. I’m going to stand up to what I’ve done and take the punishment.
“I’d do it for you, to protect you, and no other reason. But there is another reason. A good one. It’s the right thing to do. I turned my back on God and honor and country when I ran. And I won’t live with that on my conscience anymore. I can’t be a husband to you with that stain on my soul. I’ve made my peace with God. Now I’m going to face my punishment from my country and do it with honor. I can’t call myself a man unless I do.”
The fear of losing a man she now knew she loved was agonizing. Beth wanted to scream at him. She wanted to knock him over the head and drag him far from danger. But what she saw in his eyes stopped her. It was sanity. He was more fully lucid than he’d ever been. He wasn’t drawing strength by being near her. He was finding strength of his own. She hated it. But she couldn’t deny him.
God, give me the strength to do what’s right.
Tears burned at her eyes and she had to force the words through her tightened throat. “All right, Alex. We’ll go back, together. We’ll make it right. And maybe the cavalry will punish you in some way less than a death penalty. Whatever they decide, I’m yours now. I love you and I’ll stand beside you.”
“I should go alone. I should have faced this first. I should never have married you and dragged you into my mess.” Alex shook his head and those tears threatened again. “But I’m so glad I did.” Alex’s tears spilled over and he swiped quickly at his eyes with his wrist.
Beth had never seen a man cry before Alex. Her pa would die before he’d do such a thing, and she’d always considered that strength. But Alex’s tears had their own kind of strength. He had the courage to let her see deep in his heart. To know his fear. To share his sense of honor. To respect his courage—more courage than she suspected she had—she’d have definitely run from this.
Or maybe not.
Alex pulled her into his arms and held her as if he were drowning again, with no floodwaters involved. Then at last he straightened. “Let’s go. Let’s find that fort.”
They clambered up the treacherous rocks, and after some discussion and Beth’s careful study of where the sun stood in the sky and Alex’s vague memory of where Fort Union stood in the world, they set out, knowing Alex might never come home.
Sidney had set out for town midmorning. It wasn’t that long of a ride but he didn’t return all day. Mandy waited up long past bedtime and slept fitfully until first light.
Frantic, she saddled the remaining horse the Hardens had left her; strapped her rifle on her back with firm, determined movements; and headed to town at sunup to track him down. “He’s lost or dead. I should have never let him go alone, Lord. Help me find him. Protect him.”
Her prayers were continuous as she raced toward the city. She followed Sidney’s tracks easily. She tried to be furious, thinking he’d been delayed in town and had just stayed over, unmindful of her worry. But she knew better. Deep in her heart, she knew Sidney would have come home.
But maybe he was just lost. That could have happened. She prayed that had happened. She should have started searching last night, but she hadn’t truly begun to fear the worst until after sunset. By then, if his trail led in an unexpected direction, she might have missed it in the dark and wandered all night.
She prayed fervently as she rode.
Protect him, Lord. Protect him. Protect us both.
She found him facedown on the ground about halfway to Helena. His horse stood nearby. Its reins hung down, ground hitching the well-trained animal. Mandy noticed a pickax strapped to the saddle.
“Sidney!” Mandy threw herself off her horse’s back and dropped to her knees. She gently tried to roll her husband over, and as she did, he groaned, deeply, quietly, but he was alive.
“Thank You, God,” Mandy said through her tears as she leaned close to see where he’d been hurt. “Sidney, speak to me.”
Her husband’s eyes flickered open, heavy lidded. He grinned at her and hiccupped.
Mandy smelled liquor on his breath and sat back on her heels. All her terror twisted into fury. “You’re drunk!”
Sidney’s smile faded, and he rubbed his forehead then winced. Mandy saw a welt just below his hairline. He probably was injured, from falling off his horse on his ride home. Then either knocked senseless or too unsteady to get up, he’d slept here, flat out on this cold, stony trail all night. While she’d been beside herself with worry.
Sidney had never had a drink in his life. He’d told her that c
learly when they’d talked of marriage and Mandy had expressed her dislike of hard spirits.
“Get up, Sidney Gray. Get on your horse and let’s get home!” Mandy realized she was using the same voice on Sidney that her ma used on the little boys. Not a good sign.
Moaning, Sidney said, “Don’t yell. It hurts my head.”
Clenching her jaw tight, Mandy stood and stepped back as Sidney clumsily got to his feet. Without speaking another word to him, she swung up on her horse and headed home. She didn’t even look back. He didn’t want her to yell? Fine, she just might not ever speak to him again. Because honestly, she just didn’t know what to say.
When she reached home, she hung her rifle on its pegs over the door, thinking it might be best to step far from her fire iron in her current mood. Not that she’d shoot her husband, but a rifle made a likely club and she wasn’t sure of her self-control.
She set about making lunch. The time for breakfast had long passed.
Sidney didn’t show up for over an hour, and when he came in, he was walking, leading his horse. Mandy wondered if he’d been unable to mount or if he had fallen off again. She was too angry to ask.
He put his horse away, came into the house, shoved his hands deep into his pockets, and spoke directly to his toes. “I’m sorry, Mandy. That never should have happened. I was tricked into it. I told you I’ve never had a drink before, and it’s true. But I wanted to ask some questions about gold mining and the only place I could find men gathered was in a saloon. I sat down with a group and they offered me some whiskey. I could barely keep it down, but I wanted them to think I was one of them.” Sidney shrugged. His voice was heavy with regret. “It will never happen again. You’ve got my word.”
“Do you know how worried I was when you didn’t come home last night?” Mandy slammed a plate laden with venison stew on the table. “I almost set out for you then, but I kept waiting and hoping you’d come home. I should have gone hunting, but the night falls early. I’m still not really used to it. Then I was afraid I’d miss you. You riding home, me riding to Helena. I kept making excuses and waiting and waiting and waiting. I’ve spent the night believing you were dead, Sidney!” Mandy’s voice rose to a screech and she turned away from him, shocked at the tears that tore loose. Marriage to Sidney was, she was sorely afraid, going to be a tearful business.
Sophie's Daughters Trilogy Page 19