Melissa considered his plea. “All right—I’ll try,” she said shortly. “I can’t promise anything though.”
“Thank you,” Jason said, nodding appreciatively. “And please, just tell her that I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for any of it to happen the way that it did.”
“Okay,” she said with a shrug. “I’ll see what I can do.”
She turned back to her car and retrieved her purse and a bag teeming with garland, ornaments, and tinsel. He eyed the bag questioningly. “Tree-trimming party,” she explained. “Amy loves Christmas.”
He nodded, an idea suddenly coming to him. “Good to know. Thanks again for your help,” he said, turning away. He jogged back across the street and pulled open the door, scooping up Brian into his arms. Even if she didn’t want to see him again, he wanted to apologize. Make it right. And beg her to give him another chance.
***
“Like this?” Nick asked an hour later, trying to arrange the lights according to Amy and Beth’s direction.
“No, you’re missing that whole section,” Beth protested with a laugh. She good-naturedly tossed a strand of garland at him that was waiting to be hung next, and he easily snatched it out of the air.
“Hey! You’re teaching the girls how to misbehave!” Kara chided. She and Aaron were sitting side-by-side on Amy’s sofa, feeding each baby a bottle.
“I don’t know that they’ll remember this,” Amy said with a laugh. “Now, when they’re toddlers though, that’ll be a whole other story.”
“We won’t bring them to a tree-trimming party then,” Kara said. “They’ll break everything!”
Amy shook her head and laughed. The tree was standing in her living room, the boxes of ornaments were scattered about, and her friends filled the room with easy banter and laughs. She hadn’t had this much fun in a while. Actually, the last time she’d enjoyed herself so much was that Saturday with Jason—before all hell had broken loose the next morning. As mad as she was, she actually missed him, she realized. It’s too bad he’d turned out to be such a jerk.
She was a distraction from the rest of his life?
Whatever.
“What are you smiling about?” Melissa asked, nudging her as she appeared with two mugs of spiked eggnog.
“Truth be told? I was wishing Jason hadn’t turned out to be such a jerk.”
“He came over to see me on my way in here.”
“What?” Amy asked, practically spitting her eggnog back out.
“Don’t care, huh?” Melissa asked with a laugh. “Now Michael was the real jackass this year. We were engaged to be married, and he completely broke my heart. Jason may have bumbled around in the way he did things, and he should have told you about his son. But he cares about you. And apparently, he’s been trying to talk to you?” she asked, raising her eyebrows.
“Yes, before he left,” Amy said, clarifying the matter. “But I haven’t heard from him since. He’s moved on, and that’s all that matters now.”
“I did it!” Nick called out from across the room. “Now this is definitely better. Amy? Please tell Beth that I can climb down from this step-ladder now.” He was balancing atop her short step-ladder, the end of the lights wound right to the top of the tree, ready for the star. If she could find it.
“Yes, it looks great!” she called back. “Let the man down, Bethie!”
“Not you, too,” Beth said, jokingly rolling her eyes in reference to Amy’s use of Nick’s nickname for her.
Melissa leaned over, and Amy met her gaze. “He hasn’t moved on,” she said quietly. “If anything, I think he’s quite smitten with you. And quite desperate to get you to speak to him again.”
Amy looked at her, puzzled, as Melissa set her eggnog down and walked away, grabbing the silver garland she’d brought. “I know this is for the tree, but it looks so much better this way, doesn’t it?” she joked, wrapping it around her shoulders and doing a little shimmy as she crossed the room.
“Maybe you should give up real estate and become a Vegas show girl,” Beth said with a laugh.
Amy smiled, too, but glanced past the tree, out her front window. Jason and his son were in the front yard, and she watched as Brian happily shrieked while Jason chased him around the yard.
Her heart ached, and she realized that as much as she loved being here with her friends, she wished she were right out there with him.
Chapter 17
Jason’s car was still in the driveway every morning when she left for work, and Amy wondered how long he was taking off and for how long his son was staying. Through Christmas? That seemed unlikely since his mom was supposed to retain primary custody. Or so she thought. Maybe he was here for the week.
When she arrived home later that evening Jason’s car was finally gone but there was a small, wrapped present sitting on her doorstep. Puzzled, she picked it up. There was no card attached, and she carried it inside to unwrap it. As she tore off the paper, she noticed some writing on the small cardboard box. In black marker, it simply said:
This made me think of you.
Jason
Suddenly feeling very curious, she opened the box to see a Christmas ornament nestled inside. Pulling it out, she saw that it was a small snow globe, and as she looked closer, she was shocked to see the art gallery she and Jason had visited. The whole row of shops on Main Street was there—the coffee shop, bakery, bookstore, and art gallery, each with tiny details painted on and their names in small letters.
When had Jason found this? Where had he found it? He didn’t seem like the type to go shopping for sentimental gifts. He knew she loved the gallery, and it had been their first and only “date” that really wasn’t.
She swallowed, feeling moved that he’d found this for her. Melissa had talked to Jason the day of her party. Had she told him that each of her friends had brought over a special ornament? Or was it just a coincidence?
She was amazed he’d taken the time to pick out something that she’d really love. Walking into her living room, she hung it on the tree. The glass reflected the lights, and the snow globe shook, the snow softly falling to the ground as it settled back into place. She heard a car door slam a moment later and saw Jason walking around to the passenger side. Suddenly feeling brave, she decided it was now or never, and she marched out the door and across the street.
Jason looked startled to see her. He helped his son out of the car and introduced them, and Amy couldn’t help but smile as the little boy shook her hand. “We’re just getting back from the park,” Jason explained, his voice deep. “It was a little cold, but we had a fun time.”
“And we saw a deer!” Brian shouted. “A real one!”
“Wow, that is very special,” Amy said. “I wonder if it was a reindeer.”
“A reindeer?! Daddy! She said it was a reindeer!” Brian shrieked happily, jumping up and down.
“Maybe so, buddy,” Jason said with a chuckle. He looked back to Amy, his blue eyes bright and alert.
“I just wanted to say thank you for the ornament,” she said softly. “I love it.”
“I knew when I saw it that it was perfect for you,” Jason said with a warm smile. “I only wish I could’ve given it to you in person.”
“Yeah, well, thanks again,” she said as Brian raced around them. She watched him for a moment then looked back to Jason. “I guess I should get going. You guys just got home.”
“Wait, Amy. Can I come by later on? I really need to talk to you.”
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” she said hesitantly.
“Please? Can I at least call you? Tonight? I won’t keep bothering you, but I really just want to explain myself.”
Her heart fluttered in her chest as she looked up at him. This could only end badly, and although logic and reason were telling her no, do not agree to talk with him, her heart was screaming yes. “Yeah, I guess so,” she said hastily, turning again to go. “Bye,” she called back over her shoulder as she walked down his driveway.
***
That evening Amy nervously paced back and forth in her living room. Waiting for Jason to call was unnerving. Besides, what if he didn’t even bother? He was wrapped up taking care of his son this week—she got that. She wondered what time four-year-olds went to bed and then realized the little boy was still probably on west coast time. It would be a while before she heard from Jason.
Amy showered and changed into her pajamas, deciding to settle in with a movie for the evening. If she heard from Jason—great. And if she didn’t, then she’d just gotten her hopes up for nothing.
She walked over to her Christmas tree, admiring the snow globe ornament that he’d given to her. It was perfect, and she was touched that he’d thought of something to give her that he knew she would love. She curled up on her sofa, pulling a warm blanket over her. Flipping through the TV channels, she finally found a Christmas movie to watch. The only thing better would be a hot cup of cocoa—that, and someone to drink it with, she thought with a wry smile.
When the phone finally rang half an hour later, she actually jumped in surprise. She’d been so into watching her movie that she’d actually forgotten about Jason’s call—was that a good or a bad thing? Now she was a bundle of nerves all over again, and her heart raced as she answered.
“Hello?”
“Amy. Hi. It’s Jason.” He seemed nervous as well. She didn’t recall him ever sounding so disjointed before.
“Hi,” she said softly.
“Sorry I wasn’t able to call sooner. I just got Brian off to bed.”
“I figured you’d be busy with that.”
“Yeah, the poor kid hasn’t adjusted to the time change. He’s here visiting for two weeks though, so as soon as he gets used to Eastern Standard Time, I’ll have to send him back to his mom,” he said with a low chuckle.
“So I guess you worked out a custody arrangement?”
“Yes, we did,” Jason said, sounding more and more like himself. “He’ll be able to come visit me every month—at least for now while he’s young. We’ll have to work out a whole new arrangement when he starts elementary school in a couple of years, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”
“Well, I’m glad it worked out for you,” she hedged.
“Thank you.” He paused for a moment, and she knew he was about to bring up their fight and the weekend they spent together. Their conversation up to this point was just pleasantries, but they both knew the reason he wanted to talk. “Amy, listen, I feel terrible that things happened the way that they did. I mean, I never expected that weekend to happen at all. I wanted to take you out to dinner, drinks, get to know you—I’d been hoping to ask you out that night at the art gallery, but I got called back to base. And I never meant to keep the fact that I had a son from you. I honestly just hadn’t had a good chance to sit down with you and talk.”
“I know,” she said with a sigh. “I just—I just felt like you intentionally kept it from me. And then you told me how I couldn’t understand—” her voice broke off and she fought back the tears that once again threatened to fall. No matter what Jason had or hadn’t said, it didn’t change the stark truth—in a way she couldn’t, wouldn’t, ever understand, because she’d never be able to have a child.
“Amy,” Jason said, his voice thick with emotion. “I’m so sorry.”
She sniffed but didn’t answer as fat tears rolled down her cheeks.
“Please don’t cry.”
“I should go,” she sniffled, wanting to end this call as quickly as possible.
“No—wait. I’m coming over,” he decided.
“Now? I’m in my pajamas. And what about Brian?”
“I’ll be right over.”
The line clicked as he hung up the phone and Amy stared at it, dumbfounded. Did they really need to talk about this right now and in person? She’d agreed to talk over the phone, and that seemed like a nice way to ease back into things. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to forgive him yet even though a part of her desperately wanted to.
Just like Melissa had noticed, Amy saw how amazing he was with his son. It was impossible to find fault with that—if anything, it was just the timing of the situation that had gone all wrong. And as for the comment about having children—who hadn’t asked her that? She was a preschool teacher—everyone assumed she wanted and would have kids.
A moment later a knock came at the door, and she hesitantly went down the hall. She’d changed earlier into her red flannel pajamas. They were warm and cozy but not exactly what you’d wear to have a man over for the evening. She cracked the door and saw Jason standing there in the cold, wearing cargo pants and his black ski jacket. “Jason, look, this really isn’t a good time. I’m in my pajamas!”
“I don’t care,” he said firmly. “I’m so sorry that I hurt you. Can I please just come in?”
The pleading look in his eyes made her hesitate, and a moment later she opened the door further. Jason stepped inside, the cold radiating off him as he entered. “Whew—it’s freezing out there tonight. Can I take this off?” he asked, gesturing to his jacket.
“Fine,” she said crossing her arms across her chest. She felt a little ridiculous standing there like that, but he was the one who’d insisted on coming. “Where’s Brian?”
He nodded at her neighbor’s house. “I asked if she could watch him.”
He shrugged out of his jacket and hung it from the front doorknob. Glancing into her living room, he saw the Christmas tree in the front window. “Your tree looks good there,” he said, his voice deep. One beat passed, and then two. Finally, he turned back toward Amy. She nervously licked her lips as he gazed at her, and he cleared his throat. “Please tell me how to fix this,” he said quietly. “I’d give anything to take back what I said.”
Tears filled her eyes, and although she’d sworn to herself that she wouldn’t cry when he came over, they slowly spilled down her cheeks.
“Please don’t cry,” he said huskily, taking a step closer to her. They were still in the front hallway, and Amy took a step back, finding herself with no place to go as she backed against the wall. She wiped the tears from her cheeks. “Please don’t cry,” he repeated.
He was right in front of her now, cupping her face in his hands and wiping her tears away with his thumbs. “Amy,” he breathed, leaning down so that she felt his breath on her cheek, “I’m so sorry.”
He slowly kissed the side of her face, kissing each tear away. As he kissed his way across her forehead, she closed her eyes, and in a moment he was gently kissing the tears off of her other cheek.
“Please forgive me,” he whispered, trailing his fingers gently up her neck and entwining them in her hair.
She tilted her head up to meet his gaze, seeing the devastation across his face. She’d never seen him look so vulnerable before—Jason was this big, tough Marine, always seeming so strong. Would he look so upset if he didn’t care for her? “I’m sorry, too,” she said. “I shouldn’t have gotten mad at you.”
He dipped his head down, tightening his grip in her hair, and slowly kissed her. Amy kissed him back, running her hands up his muscular chest and locking them behind his neck. Jason deepened the kiss, his tongue edging inside her mouth, tasting and discovering her there. When they finally came up for air, Amy was gasping against the wall. Jason lowered his mouth to her neck, softly kissing and tasting before allowing his teeth to gently graze across her skin. “Let’s go upstairs,” Amy said breathlessly.
Without even giving a response, Jason bent and scooped her up into his arms. He slowly ascended the stairway, staring deep into her eyes and even ducking down for another kiss as he held her close. The layout of their homes was exactly the same, and Jason turned, instinctively knowing the way to the master bedroom at the end of the hall. He carefully laid Amy on the bed and then paused a moment, eyeing her meaningfully. “I can’t stay all night—not
tonight; I’ve got Brian.”
“I know,” she said, reaching out to pull Jason to her. “It’s okay.”
He bent down, kissing her softly as he slowly unbuttoned her pajama top. As he undid each button, he kissed her flesh, slowly working his way down her chest and abdomen. When he finally reached her stomach he looked up, pushing her top open to reveal her breasts. “Amy,” he breathed, softly kissing the underside of one breast as he worked his way up to her nipple. He took it into his mouth, sucking and flicking his tongue lightly back and forth across it.
Amy felt a fluttering in her lower abdomen and a surge of moisture beneath her pajama bottoms. As soon as Jason removed them, he’d see just how hot and ready for him she was.
He moved to her other breast, planting heated kisses all over before taking that nipple into his mouth. He lightly tugged on it with his teeth before teasing her further with his tongue. “Oh!” she gasped, feeling the pleasure shoot straight through her.
Jason pulled his shirt up and over his head, and once again she admired his wall of muscles. He was pure male perfection, and right now he was doing all that he could to please and satisfy her.
He unbuttoned his pants, pulling them down along with his boxers. His thick erection sprang out, throbbing with need, and she reached down to assist him in taking her own pajama bottoms off. Jason kissed her stomach, working his way down lower and lower until she was practically trembling with desire. He hovered over her center but then kissed her inner thigh, slowly working his way up until at last his mouth was above her core.
“I want to taste you,” he said huskily, giving one long lick up her center. He gently parted her lower lips with his thumbs and bent to softly caress her throbbing clit with his tongue.
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