She shook her head. “I can’t even begin to wrap my head around it. I’ve not only slept with you and I don’t even remember most of it, but we’re married. Married, Gage. Do you even understand how big a commitment this is? It impacts every aspect of our lives.”
“You don’t remember most of it?” He couldn’t stop the grin tugging at his lips. “Then you remember some of it?”
She laughed under her breath as she turned away, staring out the window. “Way to skip over the important part. How can you make fun of this? This is a huge mistake. We have to get an annulment. We need a lawyer, and we have so much to do here—”
“Annulment?” No fucking way. “I don’t want an annulment.”
“Gage,” she said with an incredulous look. “We’ve never even dated.”
“The hell we haven’t. We’ve spent years unofficially dating. We’re closer than most married couples.”
She crossed her arms, her gaze darting over the dashboard, out the window, anywhere but to him. He leaned across the console and took her chin between his finger and thumb, turning her toward him, and searched her eyes for the truth. Did she really want an annulment?
“You know it’s true, Sally. You can’t deny it. We do everything together—go to weddings, visit Rusty, go to the freaking grocery store, for God’s sake.”
“Those things don’t make two people a couple. Marriage is complicated and difficult, and you’ve never even asked me out on a date. We can’t be married.”
And there it was, the topic they’d been dancing around for too many years to count. Every time he got close to asking her out, she skirted the subject. They did go everywhere together, to the point that everyone else thought of them as a couple, but they’d never bridged that gap. Well, it was about damn time they did.
“I never asked you out because you never seemed ready,” he said honestly. He had no idea how much time was enough after someone lost their spouse. He’d played it safe, waiting for a sign. Sally wasn’t a drinker, and last night she’d drank a lot and hung on to him like he was hers, and damn it, from what he could remember, those were pretty big signs.
She threw open her car door, and cold November air rushed in. “Then what makes you think I’m ready for marriage? I can’t. I just can’t…”
She stepped from the car, and he flew out his door and closed the distance between them. “Sally, listen to me, please. I’m confused about what happened last night, too, but I’m not confused about us. You have to know how badly I’ve wanted you for all this time.”
“I do, but, Rusty…” Tears welled in her eyes.
“And what about you? What do you want?” Me. Say you want me.
She leaned back against the car and tipped her beautiful face up toward the sky. She tucked her straight white-blond hair behind her ear, fidgeting with the ends. An adorable nervous trait.
“I don’t know what I want,” she said shakily. “My heart and my head are at odds.”
Hope swelled inside him. “Then don’t make a decision right now. Give us time to digest last night. There has to be a reason you married me, drunk or not.”
She pressed her lips together and a single tear slid down her cheek. He cupped her face, wiping it away, his heart aching for both of them.
“Why do you fight us so hard?” The question came without any thought, but now that it was out there, he wanted answers. “How can you step back when all I want to do is move forward?”
Her eyes shifted away again, drifting over the cars parked nearby, but he was still holding her face, and he wasn’t about to let go.
“Sal, I never pushed you, did I? I gave you time to grieve for Dave. Wasn’t it enough? If you need more time…” It had been almost six years since Dave’s accident, and most of the time Sally seemed okay. Though Gage had to admit, there were moments when she’d zone out and he knew in his gut it had to do with losing her husband. Those moments nearly drove him to his knees. He knew she’d been with Dave since she was in high school, and he couldn’t imagine the pain she must feel. He didn’t want to be a jerk, but he really didn’t know how much longer he could go on as friends when he wanted so much more. He hadn’t realized until just now how much hope he’d pinned on this trip.
She blinked her eyes dry. “This isn’t about Dave. I’ve moved on from losing him. You of all people know that.”
“Are you afraid I’ll hurt you the way Dave hurt you when you found out about Chase?” After Dave died, Sally found out that he had been secretly seeing Chase and his mother, Trisha, trying to build a relationship with them before he revealed the truth to his family. Sally had confided in him enough to know that it had cut her to her core, and he had a feeling that hurt still lingered.
“No! Why would I be? You’re as honest as the day is long. And it’s not like he cheated on me. He was a few years older than me, and he got some woman pregnant before we even met. It wasn’t his fault she never told him about the baby. The only thing he did wrong was not telling me right when he found out.”
He was at a loss as to why, but it was clear that convincing Sally to let down her guard and explore her feelings for him would be an uphill battle. But Gage was an athlete, and he’d climb as many mountains as it took. With Sally as the prize, he wasn’t about to slow down.
“Then what are you afraid of? Tell me so I can fix it. Don’t throw us away before we even have a chance to get started.”
“I’m not. That’s just it. I love our friendship,” she said softly. “And I’ve dreamed about it being more. A lot more. But I’m terrified. Not just for Rusty, but for me, for us.”
“Why? Let me in, Sally, because I don’t understand. I think last night was fate. We didn’t just sleep together. We got married. It’s what was meant to be. You and I are bigger than rational thoughts of what should or shouldn’t be. We always have been. So please, tell me what else is holding you back.”
She drew in a deep breath, her gaze trailing over his face, conflicting emotions staring back at him. “I’ve had a happy marriage, and I lost it. I know how much that hurts. Yes, I’ve gotten over it, but I don’t want a reason to get over you. And if we try this, and break up—”
“Then stop pulling away.” He stepped closer, holding her as he’d wanted to for so long, as a boyfriend and a lover, not just a friend. As a husband, he reminded himself. Something he’d been afraid to dream about.
“There’s a world of difference between friendship and spouses, Gage. Sex complicates everything. And marriage? It’s a world in and of itself, with misunderstandings, compromises, and finding ways to reignite sparks that dim over time. It’s not easy.”
“Sally, I haven’t been with another woman in years, and nothing about relationships is easy.”
“Years?” she whispered. “Really?”
He nodded. How could she not know that? He spent nearly every weekend evening hanging out with her. “Yes, and considering neither of us really remembers last night, I’m not sure the sex we had qualifies for the complications you’re talking about anyway, unless we do it again. Sober.” He waggled his brows, earning a small smile, which gave him a thread of hope, and he clung to it like a lifeline.
“Sal, we’ve got almost a week before we go back to our real lives. Rusty isn’t here. Danica and your friends aren’t here. There’s just you and me,” he said, hoping the worry in her eyes might dissipate with the reminder that no one was there to judge them, or whatever else she might be worried about. “Let’s explore what this is, take a leap of faith. Let me take you out on dates and show you how good a boyfriend—a husband—I can be, how good we can be together as a couple. Let’s hold hands and make out until you can’t forget how it feels.”
Her smile widened, but she bit her lower lip, blinking up at him with shyness that tugged at his heart. He loved her so much, he wasn’t about to let her get away. Stepping even closer, he slid his hand to the nape of her neck and gazed into her eyes.
“We’ve already slept together, babe. We’re
married. Putting the sex aside, we can’t get any more complicated than we already are. Have dinner with me after we check into our rooms. We’ll take a walk, see a movie, or do whatever you want to do on our first real date.”
“Gage,” she whispered. Her fingers curled around his wrist.
“Say yes, Sally. You know you want to, and you know I’ll never let you down.”
Her gaze cruised over his face, and when she nodded, her smile reaching all the way up to her eyes, his whole world brightened.
“Okay,” she said. “But you can’t tell anyone about last night. If Danica finds out she’ll think we’re completely irresponsible.”
“Danica gave up her therapy practice to marry her client and one of the biggest players I’ve ever known.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Reformed player. Blake only has eyes for her.” Blake Carter was one of the most attentive husbands and fathers Sally had ever met. He and Danica had a little girl named Francesca, Chessie, and Danica was now eight months pregnant, which was why she wasn’t in Virginia with them.
“Yes, of course,” Gage agreed. “The point is, she’s not going to judge us. She wants us to be a couple.”
“Wanting your friends to get together and knowing your employees acted irresponsibly are two separate things. Not to mention she’s going to have another baby in a few weeks, and the last thing she needs is to worry about whether our personal life will somehow mess up the opening of the community center. I’d like to keep our personal life out of the office for now. And you know we can’t let Rusty get wind of this. He’d never trust me again.”
Her gaze softened, and when she looked at him like that—with so much faith there was no denying how close they were—there was nothing he wouldn’t do for her.
“Can you please do this for me?” she asked. “Agree to keep the marriage and last night between us until we figure everything out?”
“Now you’re making rules?” he teased. “I’m glad to see you’re taking your role of wife seriously.”
“Gage!”
“Don’t worry, sweetheart. You can make all the rules you want. I’m finally getting to take my best friend on a real date.” He grabbed their bags from the trunk, unable to stop grinning as they headed into the hotel.
“Don’t get too excited,” she said. The spark he loved so much was slowly returning to her voice. “I’m not going to sleep with you tonight.”
“Unless I get you drunk.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m never going to live that down, am I?”
“Probably not. Should we cancel your room now and get the honeymoon suite?” The shock and amusement on her face were priceless. Too bad he wasn’t kidding.
Chapter Two
SALLY RAN A brush through her hair one last time, so nervous about her date with Gage, she was literally shaking in her boots. He had seen her at her worst, overcome with grief, sick with the flu, and hot and sweaty when they were out hiking. She didn’t usually worry too much about what she wore around him, but tonight she’d changed three times before finally deciding on her favorite skinny jeans and a cute white sweater, hoping being comfortable would calm her jitters. The over-the-knee, gray suede boots, however, had been a very conscious and embarrassingly calculated decision. Sally was blessed with long legs, and she’d noticed how Gage’s glances lingered and his gaze grew hotter when she wore those particular boots. She didn’t want to appear too eager, but there was no denying that she hoped he’d find her irresistible, as evident by the lace panties and matching bra she’d chosen to help her feel sexy—even if she wasn’t planning to jump into bed with him.
She thought about Gage on the other side of the adjoining door to his room, and a swarm of butterflies took flight in her stomach. They always got adjoining rooms when they traveled, although this time he’d pushed hard for the honeymoon suite when they’d checked in. Come on, Sal. Let’s really give this a shot. His pleading and seductive gaze had almost made her give in, but she’d had hours to think on the long plane ride from Vegas to Virginia, and pieces of their night had come back to her. She remembered toasting the new community center with Gage as they’d sat at the bar, and other people at the bar joining in on the celebration. Gage had sat beside her with an arm around her shoulders, which he did often, but it had felt different, being away from home, with all those eyes on them probably assuming they were a couple. It had felt good. Better than good. It had felt amazing.
It hadn’t been a conscious decision to get drunk, but she’d been a responsible parent since she was eighteen, and it was exciting to finally cut loose with the man she’d been attracted to for so long. All of their friends back home had made comments about the two of them getting together, but the one time Rusty had heard the suggestion, he’d scoffed and walked away, like he didn’t even want to think about the possibility of her and Gage as a couple. His reaction had stuck with her, and this marriage was a big risk. How did a person calculate risk when it came to friendships and love? That question was the driving force behind her refusal to share a room with her big, hunky husband.
Oh God. I have a husband!
A knock sounded at the door, and her heart leapt. She stared at it as if Gage might have x-ray vision and could see her nervously smoothing her sweater over her hips. She wasn’t even sure this date was a good idea, regardless of how much she wanted to go on it. She looked down at her sexy boots. I’m a walking contradiction. Risking their friendship scared the hell out of her. Everything hung on their time together.
No pressure or anything.
She drew in a deep, calming breath, second-guessing her outfit. Should she have gotten more dressed up? Worn something sexier? Something younger? Gage was three years younger than her, which wasn’t a fact she thought about often, but now that she’d asked herself the question, her nerves reignited.
“Bird? Don’t leave me hanging, baby.” Gage’s deep voice came through the door.
She tried—and failed—to push her worries away, and opened the door. Gage stood before her looking like her every fantasy in a pair of dark jeans and a white dress shirt. The first few buttons were open, exposing a dusting of chest hair. His thick sandy-blond hair looked finger combed in that sexy, tousled way she loved. He hadn’t shaved, and his scruff, coupled with his leather jacket, gave him a hard-to-ignore edge. Just like the first time she’d seen him at No Limitz, her heartbeat quickened and her mouth went dry. “Holy smokes” came out before she could stop it.
His lips curved up in a cocky smile as he leaned in, bringing a wave of his manly scent. He kissed her cheek. His whiskers brushed along her skin, unleashing memories of last night’s kisses and knocking her a little off-kilter.
“Hi, gorgeous. These are for you.” A bouquet of red roses in a beautiful glass vase appeared from behind his back.
It had been ages since she’d received flowers, and her insides warmed with his thoughtfulness. “Thank you. They’re beautiful. Come in. I’ll just put these on the table.”
He followed her in, standing so close behind her as she set the vase down, his heat seared down the length of her body.
“You wore my favorite boots.” His minty breath drifted across her cheek. “And you smell incredible.”
He might as well have said he wanted to lick her all over, the way her body quivered.
“Gage,” she said nervously, turning to face him. He was right there. His hands took up residence on her waist. His eyes blazed down at her, through her, hindering her ability to think. She needed to get a grip before she did or said something she shouldn’t.
She attempted humor, not her strong point. “Is this the way you treat all your first dates?”
“No,” he said with a hint of arrogance she wasn’t used to—but she liked. A lot. “This is the way I treat you.”
She couldn’t stop looking at his mouth, wondering how she could have kissed him and not remembered every detail, no matter how drunk. Forcing her gaze to meet his, she said, “You’re making me nervous.”
“Nervous is good. The way I see it, I’ve got several days to make you feel nervous, hot, bothered, happy, and hopefully lots of other new, exciting ways.” He tucked her hair behind her ear, smiling like she was all he’d ever wanted. “And I don’t plan to waste a second of it.”
It was like someone had flicked a switch in him from Gage Ryder, friend, to Gage Ryder, master seducer. “It’s been forever since I’ve been on a first date.” Like more than twenty years. “But aren’t you being a little pushy?”
“Yes,” he said arrogantly.
“Okay, just checking.” At least she wasn’t off base.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this. I like you when you’re nervous, Sal. You look like you don’t know if you want to kiss me or run away.”
She pushed past him and grabbed her coat and purse. “Okay, Casanova. Let’s get out of here before”—I make the wrong choice—“we spontaneously combust.”
“Want me to back off?” he asked as they entered the elevator.
No. “A little. Maybe.”
He didn’t say another word as the elevator descended toward the lobby, though his heated gaze remained trained on her. When the doors opened, a gorgeous redhead was waiting for the elevator. She smiled flirtatiously at Gage, her eyes slowly dragging down his body. He was strikingly handsome, athletic, and confident. The type of man women couldn’t help but check out. Sally had noticed it hundreds of times over the years, but now her claws came out. She felt possessive of him in a way she never had before. She lifted her chin, stood up a little straighter, unwilling to be a wallflower.
Gage laced their fingers together and pressed a kiss to the back of her hand. His eyes never left Sally’s face. “Are you sure that’s what you want, bird?”
She felt the redhead watching them, and it took her a second to realize he was asking if she really wanted him to back off. In her head, she heard herself denying the truth, but when she opened her mouth, no words came. It was all she could do to shake her head.
Swept Into Love: Gage Ryder (Love in Bloom: The Ryders Book 5) Page 2