It would be back, he knew. This was only a temporary fix. One kiss would never be enough.
Regretfully, Jake pulled back, although his fingers stayed clutching the fabric at her hip as she let out a whimper of disappointment. He rested his forehead against hers, just for a moment. Just long enough to whisper, “I know. I know,” and have her understand that everything she felt, he felt too.
“We really do need to talk,” she murmured back, and Jake nodded, even as he stepped back. He couldn’t look away from those wide eyes, though.
“Later,” he promised.
She pulled a face, but agreed. “Tell me one thing, though?”
One thing. How hard could that be? “Sure.”
“What changed today?”
He didn’t bother pretending he didn’t know what she meant. What had changed today? Every assumption he had about the future. About his place in a family that could never really be his.
But most of all, he’d realised that pretending he didn’t want the only thing he’d ever wanted with such furious passion was a waste of time.
He smiled, an apologetic, gentle smile, he hoped. “Everything.”
Her answering smile was warm. “I know exactly what you mean.”
Chapter 12
CHRISTMAS DAY
Ever since she was a little girl, Molly had never been able to sleep on Christmas Eve. Long after Tim let slip that Father Christmas wasn’t real, even into the years where she’d stumbled into bed from the pub ages after her stocking had been filled and left on the end of her bed, there was something about the anticipation of the day to come that left her staring at the ceiling for hours after she turned in.
This year, it all seemed a thousand times worse.
Not only did she have the joys of Christmas Day to look forward to, but Jake had finally promised her a proper conversation about their… situation. Which meant she had to figure out what she actually wanted to say.
Jake, I made this resolution, and then my friend challenged me, so I kind of have to sleep with you before New Year. Then I’m back off to London and you don’t have to see me again until next Christmas. Okay?
Somehow, she wasn’t quite sure that was going to cut it. Which was weird because, a week ago, that kind of proposition was exactly the sort she thought Jake would like. No emotions, no strings, just one night of fun.
Okay, so how about…
Jake, I’m going insane because I can’t stop thinking about what it would be like to have you. Give me one night, and I’ll make damn sure it’s the best one either of us have ever had.
Except, while she sure that would be the case for her, Jake had considerably more experience in bedroom activities, from what she could tell. How the hell could she make that promise to him? He’d laugh her out of the bedroom.
So, maybe…
Jake, I’m sorry, I forgot to get you a Christmas present this year. But I’ve thought of a way to make it up to you…
Turning over, Molly buried her groan in her pillow. This was impossible.
And the worst thing was, all these scenarios anticipated her being alone with Jake at some point tomorrow, and being able to do anything about the ridiculous levels of sexual tension they had now reached. When, in truth, they’d be spending the day opening presents with her family, peeling carrots and watching Doctor Who.
It was Christmas. She had to focus on her family, not her libido.
And for the first time, that felt like a real sacrifice.
As always, she must have slept eventually – although not before she heard her bedroom door creak open and felt the familiar weight of a fully laden stocking laid on her feet. But when she had closed her eyes to hide the fact she was awake from her dad, she must have actually dropped off because the next thing she knew, Tim was screaming, “It’s CHRISTMAS!” from the top of the attic stairs and playing Slade at full volume.
Molly checked her clock. Seven thirty. That was a lot better than some years.
Rubbing at her eyes, she grabbed her stocking and headed down to the kitchen in search of coffee.
“You’re up early,” she said, smiling as she watched Jake make coffee in the dim light of the under cabinet lamps.
He turned and, leaving the coffee half made, stepped towards her, heat in his eyes. Molly swallowed. This really was a different Jake to just a few days ago.
“Merry Christmas, Molly,” he murmured, his lips barely millimetres away from hers.
“The others—” He cut her off with a kiss, and the warmth of his arms around her made her forget whatever she’d been about to say anyway. God, she could kiss this man for hours…
The creak from the stairs behind her barely registered with Molly, but by the time Dory entered the kitchen Jake was already back by the kettle, stirring mugs of coffee ready to hand out.
Molly blinked, and dropped to sit in one of the kitchen chairs, her stocking full of presents at her feet.
“Where’s Tim?” Dory asked, looking between them with what Molly hoped wasn’t suspicion as she leant her stocking against the kitchen cupboards. What had gotten into Jake? The pub the night before was one thing, but right there in the kitchen with the family about to descend?
“I think he disappeared into the bathroom.” Jake handed Dory a mug of coffee. “After ensuring that none of us were ever going to get any more sleep.”
“Apart from your mother,” Glen announced. “She still has her earplugs in so slumbers on, oblivious.”
“Lucky lady.” Lucas appeared behind him, stocking hanging from one hand. Dory handed over her mug with a sympathetic smile.
“Jet lag getting you down, Lucas?” Molly asked.
“I don’t think we can hold the jet lag entirely responsible for this one.” Lucas took a long gulp of coffee. “Although if there are any more of those little pies around that might help…”
“I think we can help with that.” Dory pulled the lid off the large cake tin in the middle of the kitchen table and doled out a lattice topped mince pie. “Probably until the end of time,” she added, staring at the ridiculous quantity of mince pies still remaining.
“What are you all doing in here?” Tim asked, appearing in the doorway with his iPod speakers in one hand, now playing Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree, and his filled stocking in the other. “We have to open the stockings around the tree. You know this, people!”
“Just getting some caffeine first.” Molly held up her mug. “Besides, Mum’s still asleep.”
“Not anymore she isn’t.” Tim gave a wicked grin, then disappeared into the lounge, obviously expecting them to follow.
Molly glanced back at Jake as the others made their way through. “Where’s your stocking?”
“I left it upstairs, I think.”
Oh, honestly. “You know the rules, Jake. Tell me you didn’t open it already?”
“I wouldn’t dare. But, can I just say, it’s kind of creepy hearing your dad sneak into the bedroom and leave it on my bed.”
“It’s not creepy,” Molly said, rolling her eyes at him. “It’s festive and nice. Besides, it wasn’t Dad, it was Santa.”
“I think that might be even worse.” He smiled, a private sort of smile she knew he wouldn’t risk giving her if anyone else were in the room. “Besides, I don’t need to open it. I already got what I wanted most for Christmas.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Really?” Because in that case, he really wasn’t wishing hard enough.
“I got to kiss you.” Jake shrugged. “I’m happy.”
Molly stared after him as he sauntered out still sipping on his coffee. She was starting to think this One Night With Jake idea wasn’t at all what she thought it was. And she knew for certain that she was very, very out of her depth.
With a deep breath, she picked up her stocking and followed, just in time to see Jake disappearing upstairs to fetch his own stocking. She wanted to go after him, to finally get him alone in a room with a bed, but her family was waiting. For a moment she s
tood, undecided, just inside the kitchen doorway where, apparently, her brother and sister couldn’t see her, as she suddenly realised they were talking about her.
Next to the front door, just beside the door to the lounge, Tim and Dory stood with their heads close together. They were keeping their voices low, but if Molly concentrated she could make out enough words to follow the gist of the conversation.
“I’m just not sure it’s a good idea,” Dory said, frowning. “You know how Molly is.”
Molly tensed at the sound of her name, ducking a little further back into the kitchen just in case either of them looked over.
“Don’t worry,” Tim replied. “I’ve already spoken with her. Told her that he’s not her type.”
“Like that would ever stop her! Come on, Tim. Tell Molly she can’t do something and you know she’s going to go right out and try.” Molly bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself arguing back. Honestly. They made it sound like she hadn’t grown up any more since the age of twelve.
“Yeah, maybe,” Tim conceded, and Molly seriously considered taking his present back. “I was kind of drunk and not really thinking it through.”
“Tim!” Dory sounded despairing. Good.
“But it’s okay! Turns out that Jake was listening in.”
“How is that better?” Dory asked. “Poor Jake. He’ll think it’s something to do with him.”
“Well it is, kind of. And anyway, all that matters is that if Jake thinks we’re against the idea, there’s no way he’ll let anything happen with our baby sister.” What she wouldn’t give to slap the smug look right off her brother’s face. “Problem sorted.”
Dory didn’t look entirely convinced, which surprised Molly. She’d have bought Tim’s logic herself, if it hadn’t been for the kiss in the kitchen that morning.
“Except Jake probably believes that we think he isn’t good enough for her. You know how he likes to rise to a challenge… and he’s always wanted so badly to be a part of this family.”
“You think he’d seduce Molly just to prove a point?”
“I think he’d fall into a relationship with her if it meant he knew for sure he’d get invited back here every year.”
“That’s ridiculous!” Tim said, louder than he probably meant to. Dory shushed him, and he dropped his voice as he continued, “Jake’s always invited here. He knows that.”
Except he didn’t.
Molly’s head thunked back against the doorframe. Suddenly Jake’s change of attitude made a little too much sense. He was trying to buy himself a permanent place in the family. She wanted one night only, and he was after forever – but not for her, not really. Because he wanted to be a Mackenzie.
God, this was such a mess.
“Look, Tim, talk to him,” Dory pleaded, and Molly forced herself to pay attention again. “Explain things. That we love him, that he is part of our family, whatever happens. But that Molly is finally getting her life together, moving to London and everything, and we just don’t want a fling with him to jeopardise that.”
“Yeah… those really aren’t the sort of conversations I have with Jake,” Tim said.
“Fine. I’ll tell him, then,” Dory said.
“Great.” Tim paused, not moving away but not talking.
“What?” Dory asked, and Molly leant just a little bit closer to be sure of hearing.
“Do you really think Molly’s got things together in London? That she’s… well, happy?”
Of course I am, Molly thought, just as Dory said, “Of course she is! She’s wanted to move away for years, you know that. And that job at the hotel… she’s far too bright to have stayed there. She’s in a new city, with a great job, new friends—”
“No, Dory,” Tim interrupted softly. “That’s you. That’s what you wanted.”
Dory stared at him. “Molly wanted it too.”
“Are you sure?”
As her brother and sister stared at each other in silence, Tim’s words echoed in Molly’s head. Are you sure?
Was she? Right then, it was hard to be sure of anything at all.
Least of all what the hell she was doing with Jake.
Chapter 13
Present giving in the Mackenzie household always started with the opening of stockings around the tree, while everyone waited for the coffee to take effect. By the time Jake made it downstairs with his stocking, the others were already knee deep in wrapping paper.
“I told them they should wait,” Philippa said as he took the spare seat left for him on the sofa beside her. “But you know how they are.”
“I do.” Jake smiled softly across at Molly, unwrapping a fortune telling fish by the tree, but she didn’t return it.
Not a good sign. Had he spooked her, kissing her that morning?
“And thank you,” he added to Philippa, indicating his stocking. “You didn’t have to.”
Philippa’s eyes grew wide. “Nothing to do with me, you know that. It’s all down to Father Christmas.”
“Of course.” Jake wondered if by the time Philippa could be persuaded to drop the act for her children, Dory and Lucas would have provided her with some grandchildren to keep it up for. He rather hoped so.
His stocking was filled with the usual assortment of small gifts. A new comb, a paperback Glen had been raving about, a small tub of multivitamins he took as a hint from Philippa that he was looking tired, shower gel, festive socks, his own fortune telling fish and one of the Toblerones he’d bought as a substitute for the usual chocolate oranges.
“Right, fish at the ready everyone!” The fortune telling fish were a tradition all of their own. Tim ripped open his own packet and placed the filmy red fish in his palm. His sisters followed suit and, after a moment and some prodding from Dory, so did Lucas and Jake.
“Aw, moving head and tail!” Dory kissed her boyfriend soundly as the fish in his palm wiggled at both ends. “I knew you loved me.”
“I tell you often enough,” Lucas murmured, kissing her back. “Figures you’d trust some fish over me.”
“Are those sides curling?” Tim asked, staring at his own fish. “Apparently I’m fickle.”
“We could have told you that,” Molly teased.
“Me? Fickle? What did you get, then?” Tim asked. “If I’m fickle, whatever you are must be beyond even the might of the fortune telling fish.”
Jake looked at the fish in Molly’s hand as she stuck out her tongue. It had curled up completely into a little circle of red film. Passionate, his mind filled in, the instructions still in front of him. Well, the fish was on form this year.
Glancing down at his own fish, Jake watched as the head and tail both moved. In love.
He crumpled it within his fist. What did a red plastic fish know anyway?
After the stockings came the real gifts. Jake relaxed a little as they handed them round. He’d had this one sussed for years now. All he needed to do was send Philippa an email in early November asking what everyone wanted, and she’d send back a carefully thought out list with a selection of options for each family member. As long as he didn’t deviate from the list, he was fine.
He tensed as Molly reached for her gift from him. In all the ups and downs of the last two days, he’d almost forgotten that he had deviated from the list this year. Just once.
“To Molly, love Jake,” she read out the label. Beside him, Philippa raised her eyebrows, obviously very aware that the tiny box Molly held couldn’t possibly contain the DVD box set she’d suggested. “Thank you!”
“You haven’t opened it yet,” Jake pointed out.
Molly tore off the wrapping paper with unashamed glee, revealing the small, flat, velvet box inside. Jake very carefully ignored the looks Dory and Tim were exchanging across the room.
Perhaps this hadn’t been his best idea ever. But when he’d bought it, he’d assumed that he and Molly would spend the entire holiday being awkward around each other, and that a nice present might go a way to helping them be friends again
.
Besides, when he’d seen it in the display case, he’d known it was perfect for her, and he just couldn’t resist.
Molly opened the box slowly, and let out a little squeak. “I love it!” She beamed at him and he knew, without her having to say, that she wanted nothing more than to thank him properly, but couldn’t. Not with everyone watching.
“Let me see.” Dory elbowed past Tim to get a look at Molly’s present. “Oooh, that’s gorgeous!”
“Help me put it on?” Molly asked, and Dory took the delicate silver chain and wrapped it around Molly’s wrist. As she fastened it, the tiny snowflake charm that hung from it sparkled in the fairy lights from the tree.
“Very nice work, Mr Sommers,” Philippa whispered. “Much better than a DVD.”
Jake shifted uncomfortably in his seat, suddenly aware that Tim and Glen were both watching him with matching looks of interest – and suspicion.
Yeah, definitely not his best ever idea.
-
“He bought you jewellery, Moll.” Dory handed her a pair of fluffy red mittens. “Don’t tell me that’s nothing.”
Molly shrugged as she pulled her mittens on, trying not to stare at the tiny snowflake dangling from her wrist. It was perfect. How had he known?
“You know Jake. He likes to make an effort with presents.” Inspiration struck. “You know, I think he asks Mum for help. Maybe she suggested it.”
Dory didn’t look convinced. “He bought me a book.”
“Yeah, but a book you really, really wanted.”
“True,” Dory conceded.
“And anyway, I think he was trying to make it up to me for missing my moving to London party. Or something.” Stop digging, Molly. She was rapidly approaching protesting-too-much territory.
Dory paused, halfway through wrapping a pale blue scarf with a knitted rendition of the Snowman around her neck. “You know you can talk to me, right? If there’s anything…”
“There’s nothing for you to worry about with me and Jake.” It wasn’t quite a lie, Molly decided. After all, Dory would be heading back to New York in a week or so. Whatever fallout there was from this holiday, she wouldn’t have to worry about it.
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