“I thought your friends were joining you today?” Sawyer, her dad, asked from the head of the table.
She wiped her mouth with a napkin before she looked over to him and replied.
“They were going to, but they had some stuff to wrap up before they came. They’ll be here in two days.”
Friends. What friends would those be? Her parents hadn’t mentioned their arrival.
“It’s Dylan and Aspen, right?” her mother asked.
“Yeah. They’re great. I’m sure you’ll all love them.”
Dylan? Who the hell was he, and what did he mean to my Ainsleigh?
That’s right. She was still mine. Even if she didn’t know it.
“We can’t wait to meet them,” Leo said. I’m sure he was only referring to Aspen, but I wouldn’t rat him out.
“I’m sure you can’t, player,” Ainsleigh said with a wink.
She knew her brother so well.
He grabbed at his chest like she’d broken his heart, but everyone knew of the infamous Leo Courtright and his playboy ways. His parents included. They never missed a beat. Including the love I still shared for their daughter. A love they still encouraged for me to seek.
“That was delicious as usual, Lil,” Sawyer spoke as he rubbed his now full stomach.
“Yeah, Mom, it was great,” all the siblings spoke in unison, something I was sure they’d rehearsed over the years, since it always happened with every meal.
Ainsleigh stood and started clearing the dishes. Her mother tried to stop her, but she shushed her and continued her task at hand.
“You just got home, honey. I’ll do the dishes.”
“No, you won’t. You cooked. I’ll clean it all up.”
“Fine, I won’t argue with you,” her mom said reluctantly.
“We’ve got plans. We’ll see you bright and early, old man,” Brooks said as he stood from the table. The other two brothers followed suit, each kissing their mother on the cheek before they left the room.
“You want to go into the den and cuddle on the couch with a movie?” Sawyer asked his wife as he stood.
“You don’t have to ask me twice. I get to pick the movie though,” she replied with a smirk.
Seeing the love they both shared after all these years was refreshing and hopeful. Especially since not much love was expressed in the home I grew up in.
“Of course, you do, sweetheart,” he readily agreed with her as he walked over to the sink where Ainsleigh waited for the water to fill.
“Be ready to go at four thirty in the morning. We’ve got a lot to do tomorrow,” he said as he kissed the top of her head.
“Dad, seriously,” she groaned.
“Seriously. You’ve got someone who’d love nothing more than to see you.”
“Sparkle,” she said as she began to smile.
Her eyes always did brighten up at the mention of her beloved horse.
“I think she missed you more than us,” her dad said before he left the kitchen.
Walking over to where she stood with one foot placed on the side of her leg, I leaned my hip against the counter and watched as she placed each dish carefully into the steaming hot water.
“Want some help?”
“You want to wash dishes?”
Not exactly. But I’d do anything that gave me a reason to remain in her presence even a moment longer.
“Sure. Why not?” I replied as I grabbed the dish towel hanging from the front of the stove.
She washed and I rinsed, dried, and put them away.
No words were spoken.
This seemed normal.
Domesticated.
Only it wasn’t either of those things.
It was painful.
Heartbreaking.
The unspoken words so relevant between us I was sure you could slice the tension with a knife.
But neither of us addressed it.
We just continued our tasks at hand.
And when we were finished, she went her way and I went mine.
CHAPTER 6
Ainsleigh
I walked away because I had to.
I left him standing there alone in the kitchen with no other thought on my mind except getting away.
Damn him for getting to me.
Damn him for making me break down in his arms.
Damn him for making me feel when I wanted anything but.
Just… damn him.
I stomped up the stairs more than I needed to, frustrated that I couldn’t say no to him. The same way I couldn’t before I left. I didn’t want to get close to him again. That chapter of my life needed to remain closed. He wouldn’t make it easy. I should’ve known. What I hadn’t expected was for him to pick me up, let alone walk into my parents’ house like he owned the place. Someone had some explaining to do. They hadn’t let on that they still talked to him, let alone had seen him. In the four years since I’d been gone, none of them even mentioned his name. They just knew I couldn’t handle it. Maybe I should’ve asked just so I’d have been better prepared for today.
I couldn’t allow us to pick up where we left off. I had to come up with a plan. Tomorrow, I’d text Dylan and Aspen to get their thoughts. They knew all about Gentry. They knew all about me, except for one detail I could never bring myself to share. The most important part of me remained untold. A secret I wasn’t sure would get out once they came here and stayed for a week. I wasn’t ready to let the cat out of the bag, but it was bound to happen. I just hoped I’d be the one to tell them.
I undressed and grabbed my comfy pajama pants and tank top from my suitcase, hastily putting them on. Rummaging through the bag after I was dressed, I found the comfy, fluffy socks I was looking for. I hated having cold feet.
After I put them on, I laid in my bed and stared at the ceiling. Being in this room again felt like home, yet so foreign at the same time. Everything smelled the same, yet I felt like an outsider looking in.
Looking over at the spot that plagued my thoughts, I stared at the floor. Willing the memories to stay away. My heart started to pound in my chest as they threatened to come to the surface from the recesses of my mind where I’d left them.
I laid on the bed and shut my eyes so tight I was sure to get a headache. I didn’t care. I needed the memories to stop.
For a while that method worked. I pushed them back where they belonged, but that didn’t stop my heart from beating faster than normal or for a sheen of sweat to grace my entire body.
Looking over at the clock, I noticed it was only nine at night. It would be eleven in Virginia right now. Way past the bedtime I was used to.
I’d concluded that I’d get no sleep in here. I needed to get away from this room.
From this house.
Getting up from the bed, I slipped on the slippers that were still placed under my nightstand, grabbed my phone, and walked out of the room.
I had one stop in mind.
The barn.
There was a loft at the top with a bed that I could sleep on and a bathroom if I needed it. I’d done it so many times growing up, my parents came to expect me to be there if they couldn’t find me the next morning. This time would be no different.
Sneaking out the door in the kitchen, I walked down the lighted path to my destination. Once my parents realized I had been sneaking out to the barn, they installed lights so that I wouldn’t hurt myself in the dark the next time I decided to wander down here.
I pulled open the door just enough for me to get inside and shut it once I was free from the entrance. The horses made some noises, but I ignored them as I walked over to the staircase.
I grabbed the rail and carefully climbed to the top. The door was open which was odd, but I thought nothing of it as I walked over to the bed exhausted and ready to just sleep the night away. Morning would come too soon for my liking.
I turned the light off that someone must’ve left on and laid down on the comfy bed. My head hit the pillow, and I let out a sigh.
There he stood in nothing but a towel. Water dripping down the front of him. Another towel in his hand that he used to dry his hair.
“What are you doing in my bed, sweetheart?”
His bed.
What the hell was going on here?
“I…”
No words would come. I couldn’t get over how much he’d changed. How he had muscles on top of muscles. His chest and abs were so well defined now. He wasn’t the boy I’d left behind. He was now a man. A damn fine one at that.
“You what?” he asked as he stepped closer to where I still sat, unmoving.
He couldn’t come closer.
That’d be bad.
So very bad.
“I didn’t know. I shouldn’t be here,” I said as I tried to get up out of the bed.
My plan didn’t go accordingly.
My foot got caught in the covers, and I went tumbling to the floor for the second time tonight.
I wasn’t this clumsy. It had to have been his fault. He was there both times I’d made a fool of myself.
“You really have to stop falling over me, sweetheart,” he said while trying to contain his laughter.
His towel-covered body leaned down to help me.
This time I let him.
I didn’t need to fall again.
I needed to escape.
He pulled me off the floor with no effort at all.
When we both stood, his towel fell to the floor and caught my eye, along with his manhood.
Damn it, Gentry.
He didn’t even try to cover himself.
Cocky ass.
“Like what you see?”
My cheeks reddened at his words and the fact that he’d caught me checking him out.
“Don’t you think you should grab that?” I asked, attempting to divert him from paying attention to where my eyes landed in my brief moment of lapse in judgement.
As soon as those words left my lips, I regretted it. His perverted ass would take my words out of context.
But he proved me wrong.
He didn’t say a word as he picked the towel up off the floor.
Instead, he turned around and walked toward the dresser that sat in the corner of the room.
He took out a pair of boxer briefs and pulled them on.
Thankfully he waited to turn around until he was done.
In that moment, I looked around the room and finally took my surroundings in.
With the glare coming from the light of the bathroom, I noticed more of Gentry’s things in the space than I had when I first entered the room.
Why hadn’t I paid more attention until now?
He apparently lived here.
But why?
He could’ve returned home.
Should’ve gone home.
Yet, he stayed.
I didn’t regret leaving. I just hated the fact that I wasn’t fully informed. Someone should’ve warned me.
“I should go,” I said as he walked toward me.
“Wait. Why did you come up here?”
“It’s nothing. I’ll leave you to get some sleep,” I replied, looking away so he couldn’t see the turmoil in my eyes. He never missed a beat before in reading my emotions, and I couldn’t forget that. Especially when he’d already seen more than what he should have.
“It’s not nothing. Tell me,” he pleaded as he grabbed my arm to stop me from walking away.
That touch.
The feel of his hand on me.
I let out a breath of frustration, knowing that he wouldn’t let it be.
“I couldn’t sleep in that room. It’s too hard. But I’ll find somewhere else. Don’t worry about it,” I replied as I tried to get him to let go of the hold he had on me. Physically that was possible, but I’d probably never be able to remove the hold he still had over my mind nor my heart. We shared a connection that I’d tried to break. But in just the few hours that I’d been home, I knew that I never succeeded.
“This used to be your special place. Don’t go. Stay,” he said as he pulled me closer to him.
My mind screamed at me to realize the danger of his proximity.
My heart didn’t listen.
Just like old times, it flocked toward him instead of away from him.
I shouldn’t have stayed.
But I did.
Turning toward him, I nodded without uttering another word.
I climbed into the bed and under the covers, determined to not get close to him. To stay on my side of the bed and play it safe.
He had other plans.
He climbed in behind me, pulling me into his chest and covering himself.
This was bad. So very bad.
But why did it feel so right?
“Sweet dreams, my beautiful girl,” he whispered against my ear.
My eyes closed as I took in his words.
I hadn’t missed the fact that he’d called me his beautiful girl.
If only it were that simple.
That night my dreams were sweet.
I dreamt of the future I could’ve had with him.
And that broke my heart even more than the day I’d walked away from him.
From us.
CHAPTER 7
Ainsleigh
T he sound of the alarm clock beeping from my phone roused me from the dream I didn’t want to wake up from. We were happy. So very happy. And so was she. My heart hurt as I opened my eyes and reached for the device the sound was still coming from.
Gentry groaned from behind me as he pulled me closer to him. My hand was just out of reach to stop the clock.
“We’ve gotta get up. There’s no way I’m going to be late. My daddy would never let me live it down,” I told him as I moved out of his grasp.
“He’ll live. I’m too comfy,” he replied with a sleepy voice, pulling me back toward him just as I grabbed the phone and turned the alarm off.
“You’re not getting my ass in trouble. Plus, last night shouldn’t have happened. I shouldn’t have stayed here,” I said as I tried and failed to move away from him.
He pushed me to my back and leaned over top of me. His hair was sexy in a bedhead kind of way. Whiskers lined his cheeks. His eyes still had a sleepy glow to them.
My breath came harder as he leaned his head down. His lips were so close to mine. I could feel his breath rush across my face.
“Nothing between us has ever been a mistake. One day you’ll realize that. That’s including last night. Nothing happened for us to even regret. Me being there for you is never going to stop. You’ll do yourself a favor if you remember that,” he said before he kissed the tip of my nose and pushed himself up and off the bed.
That man was going to be the death of me.
I got up from the bed and put my slippers on, bound and determined to sneak into the house and get ready without anyone noticing that I’d slept out here. My family would make conclusions that wouldn’t be good for either of us. I couldn’t give Gentry hope where there was nothing left to hope for. I just had to figure out a way to stop him.
Somehow, I managed to succeed in making it up to my room without seeing either of my parents. Opening my closet door, I pulled out a pair of jeans, tank top, flannel shirt, and my cowgirl boots. I had a feeling my father wouldn’t relent on giving me the easy way out today, and I’d need everything I’d grabbed.
I made sure to cover the ink that now graced my skin. I’d paid a pretty penny for the best tattoo concealer, and I made sure to use it every day. Not even Dylan and Aspen had seen them. After they were covered, I got dressed; thankfully everything still fit. I hadn’t touched anything in there since long before I left.
Putting my hair in a ponytail, I made sure I grabbed an old baseball cap that hung on the side of my vanity before I left the room and headed to the kitchen to make
a much-needed cup of coffee.
The aroma of my mother’s coffee hit my senses midway down the stairs. She knew us all so well.
I walked into the kitchen to find her making each one of us a cup. There was even a cup for Gentry. I had to get her by herself and ask some questions. People around here needed to give me answers.
“You still take yours with lots of sugar and a little coffee, right?” my mother asked without even looking to see who it was. How did she always do that?
“You remember,” I said as I walked up beside her and leaned against the counter. She’d placed the steaming hot cup of java in a thermos in my hand as she turned to face me.
“A mother never forgets. Remember that.” She winked at me as she turned back to continue making everyone else’s coffee.
“I won’t.”
“How did the bed in the barn sleep?”
Wait. What?
“What do you mean?” I tried to feign ignorance, but I knew better. I still had to try though.
“I heard you leave your room last night and go outside. I figured you’d gone to the one place we always knew where to find you. I’m not stupid or blind, Ainsleigh. I knew coming home would be hard on you. I even knew how hard it would be for you to go into your old room. And even though I knew that, I’m still stupidly happy that you’re home where you belong.”
“I slept perfectly fine. Thanks for removing that picture and putting another in its place. It would’ve been a lot harder if I had to see it there.”
She stopped in her tracks and turned toward me.
“I didn’t remove it. Gentry did. The second I told him you were coming back, he went up to your room and took away all the reminders so you didn’t have to see them. I don’t know where he put them, but he packed them away until you were ready to face them.”
Why did he have to still be so sweet and thoughtful?
It would’ve been easier to just thank my mother. Then I wouldn’t have to thank him. Because that would lead to a conversation that I wasn’t ready to have.
“So you slept well, huh?”
She knew he was out there.
Damnit.
What I didn’t want to happen. The smile on her face was the perfect indication of the assumptions she’d already made.
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