I pushed myself off the wall that where I’d stood most of the night and walked toward them. If he crossed the line, I’d be right there.
They started off slow, getting used to the beat of the music, before she turned and leaned her back toward his front.
Grinding my teeth, I watched the scene unfold before me. Soon after, they were grinding into each other in a way that should have been illegal for the public eye.
One of the girls we knew from school walked up to me and started saying something, but I didn’t hear a word. My eyes were fixated on the way she danced with him. The way she should’ve been dancing with only me.
I pushed past the girl, I didn’t even remember her name at this point. My sights were set on ripping the two of them apart and getting her home before I did something else I’d regret.
Reaching them, I unclipped the key ring from her belt loop and tossed the keys at Dylan.
“You okay to get her Jeep to the house?”
“Yeah, man, why?” he asked, completely oblivious to my intention.
“Because I’m getting her out of here,” I said before I threw her over my shoulder and walked toward the door.
“Put me down this instant, Gentry,” she screamed as she beat her fists into my ass. Not on my life was I letting her go.
I placed her into the seat of my pickup truck, locking the door so she couldn’t exit too quickly, and ran around to my side.
“How dare you do that to me in front of everyone,” she screamed.
“It was for your own damn good.”
Without saying anything else, I started the truck and headed to her house.
I pulled into the driveway and took a chance at glancing over at her. Her arms were crossed over her breasts as she looked angrily out the window. She’d get over it.
I parked, and she struggled to break free of the confines of the vehicle.
Running around the side of the truck, I used my key to unlock the door and opened it so she could get out.
She stumbled out and walked on unsteady legs away from me. I only made my next move for her safety. Or that’s what I told myself. Picking her up yet again and throwing her over my shoulder, I walked toward the stable that I was hellbent on having her sleep at tonight.
“Not this again,” she mumbled behind me. This time she didn’t struggle. I knew that meant she was plotting against me. But I’d be ready for whatever she threw my way.
Damn her for getting drunk.
I had to up my game plan.
She threw the wrench, but I was more than ready to improvise to get her to see things my way.
I put her down as soon as I made my way up the stairs and shut the door behind us.
And waited for her reaction to come.
Sure enough her hand met my face with a sting behind the hit she’d just threw my way.
“How dare you. Who do you think you are?”
She turned away from me, and I made my move. A move I should’ve waited to make.
I stalked up behind her and turned her around to face me, more forcefully than I should have.
I held her arms in each of my hands so she had no other choice but to hear the words I was about to say.
“I’m the man who fucking loves you. I’m the man who’s there to protect you whether you like it or not,” I said while looking into her eyes.
Without thinking, I framed her cheeks with my hands and pulled her face toward mine. My lips met hers with such force, I’d known they be bruised in the morning. She fought me. Only for a brief moment before she gave in to what I was offering.
Grabbing her under her ass, I lifted her into my arms. Her legs went around my waist, gripping me to a point of pain. A pain that egged me on and caused me to kiss her more fiercely than I ever had before. I walked us toward the bed, dropping her down onto the mattress once I felt my knees hit the side. I took in the disheveled sight of her. Damn, she was a sight to see. A sight for my eyes only.
My eyes trailed down her body until they reached the worn brown boots. I pulled them off, tossing them across the room. I pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it in the same direction. My hands trailed up her legs until they reached the bottom of her shorts. The denim that caused my mind to have dangerous thoughts. Hastily, I unbuttoned them and pulled them off her. I had half a mind to destroy them.
“You have no idea what you do to me, do you? What you still fucking do to me,” I growled as I leaned down and kissed the side of her hip that was exposed. A spot I knew was her weakness. She writhed beneath me as I continued to use my mouth to torture her. Ever so slowly, I dragged my tongue across her flat stomach and down to the center of her legs. Taking in a breath, I smelled how aroused she was.
Reaching my hand around to where her delicate black panties were, I pulled and ripped them away from her. I need to be inside of her. Right fucking now. I couldn’t take it anymore. Seeing her lay in front of me, looking so damn sexy, caused the cave man in me to come out.
“Are you ready, beautiful?” I asked as I rid my body of my boxers and pants, finally laying on top of the woman my mind wouldn’t let me forget.
Without waiting for a response, I entered her in one swift move.
“Co…”
She tried to say something, but my mouth landing on hers stopped whatever she was about to say. My tongue traced her lip, waiting for the entry I sought. An entry she gladly allowed.
I’d yet to move. I knew the second I did it’d be over before it even began. I just laid there, enjoying the feel of her mouth on mine. She clawed at my back and moved her hips, silently begging for me to give her what she craved.
“Just fuck me already, Gentry,” she begged when she finally broke free of my mouth.
“Never. I’ll never just fuck you. No matter how hard I pound you into this bed, I’ll never simply be fucking you. I’ll be making love to you, each and every time,” I replied as I finally began to move with a force that I didn’t even know I possessed. A force that I swore would break the frame of the bed. I gave her what she wanted. What we both needed.
When she shattered around me, I soon followed, releasing as deep inside of her as I could go.
I didn’t want to, but I knew I had to pull out of her sooner or later and face the consequences of what we’d just done. She could hate me. She could pull away from me even more. And it’d be my own damn fault.
Pulling away and out of her, I looked down at Ainsleigh who’d turned her head to the side. Mascara ran down the sides of her face as she tried to hide her tears.
What the hell had I just done?
“Ainsleigh, baby. What’s the matter? Was I too rough?” I asked, concerned for what was going through her mind.
“I need to go to the restroom,” was all she said before she got out of the bed and went into the other room.
I reached beside the bed and pulled on my boxer briefs and waited for what seemed like an eternity before she returned.
She came out of the room dressed in only one of my flannels that I’d left in there.
Slowly, she walked across the room and climbed into the bed beside me.
She laid in my arms and sobbed. So hard I didn’t know what else to do. So I held her and let her work through her emotions.
“Please tell me what’s wrong, sweetheart, so I can fix it,” I pleaded as I ran my fingers through her long blonde locks.
Moments passed and her sobs slowly subsided. She pulled away, wiping her face on the sleeve of my shirt before she sat up facing me.
“You still love me?” she whispered.
“Of course I do, sweetheart. I never stopped loving you,” I replied as I sat up and attempted to pull her into me.
She shook her head and held her hand to my chest to stop me. I knew something big was coming. I should’ve suspected it. But what came out I never expected to hear.
“You shouldn’t love me. Half of the time, I don’t even love me,” she confessed. I hoped this was the alcohol talking.
> “Why would you say that?”
“Because I left you here all alone to deal with losing her,” she replied as she scooted toward the end of the bed and stood. I slid to the edge of the bed waiting with baited breath for her to continue.
The pain etched in her features made me want to go to her, but whatever she needed to say, I knew she needed to get out. She’d held it in for far too long.
“You did what you had to do at the time. I don’t blame you at all anymore,” I replied.
“But you should blame me. It’s all my damn fault. Don’t you see. It’s my fault she died. I’m the one who fucking killed her,” she screamed at me, throwing her arms up in the air. She couldn’t have been more wrong if she tried. Didn’t she know that nothing she did could’ve prevented what happened. It was just one of those things that happened.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I pulled her into my chest and held on to her for dear life. If it was the last thing I did, I’d make her see that it wasn’t her fault. Telling her would accomplish nothing. I’d have to prove it to her. Someway. Somehow.
“I know you don’t want me to, but I can’t stop loving you. The thought never occurred to me to even try. Do you hear me, Ainsleigh? I fucking love you so much it hurts,” I said as I hugged her even tighter.
“But loving me shouldn’t hurt. Don’t you see? I’m toxic to you. Your parents knew it. You should’ve just listened. If you had, I wouldn’t have caused you so much pain in the end,” she said as I felt more tears fall.
Her body finally gave out, and she fell to the floor. I followed her, refusing to let her go. Refusing to let her move her pain inwardly yet again. Now that she’d gotten some of it out, I was more determined to get to the bottom of the rest of it so she could finally come back to me.
“You’re not toxic for me. You’re perfect for me. I’ll make you see. I don’t care how long it takes, Ainsleigh, one day you’ll see just how much I love you,” I replied as I pulled her into my lap so we’d both be more comfortable.
I didn’t know how much time passed. My legs tingled in protest of the weight of her body, but I didn’t move. I remained rooted to the spot in the floor and continued to soothingly rock her until she finally fell asleep in my arms.
I hated seeing her in so much pain, but she needed to get to this point.
Awkwardly, I found a way to get us both off the floor and put her in the bed. After turning out the lights, I walked over to the bed and climbed in behind her.
I kissed the back of her head and whispered, “I love you, my beautiful girl,” before I laid my head on the pillow.
To my surprise, she rolled over, seeking me out and mumbled, “I love you too, Gentry. Even though I shouldn’t.”
The hell she shouldn’t.
She’d see eventually. That she was made for me, and I was made for her.
CHAPTER 11
Gentry
Did last night really happen?
I asked myself this question over and over as I held the still sleeping Ainsleigh in my arms.
Scrubbing my free hand up and down my face, I worried of her reaction when she woke.
Would she hate me?
Would she regret making love to me again?
Would she remember telling me she loved me?
Turning over onto my side as gently as I could, I looked down at the love of my life.
Her hair was fanned out onto the pillow beneath her. She looked so peaceful. She smiled in her sleep at something within her dreams, and I selfishly hoped they were filled with thoughts of me.
Her right arm was across her stomach. She still wore my flannel that she’d put on last night. The top three buttons were the only ones fastened. Her flat stomach peeked out from under her shirt and arm. I couldn’t allow my eyes to go down further. I knew she was still naked underneath the thin material of my shirt, and seeing her bared before me would cause me to want what I shouldn’t right now.
Lifting my hand, I ran my fingers across the skin of her stomach.
She stirred and grumbled in protest, but I didn’t stop. Ever so softly, I ran the tips of my fingers across her warm flesh.
“Wake up, beautiful,” I whispered as I continued my caress.
“I’m not ready,” she groaned as she stretched and blinked her eyes open.
“Tough. I’m sure your parents are up by now and your mom is making enough breakfast to feed an army,” I told her as I looked down at her with a smile.
The smile that used to affect her in the simplest of ways.
“You’re not funny. I was having the best dream, and you ruined it,” she replied as she sat up in the bed and stretched once more.
“I’m sorry about that, but if I didn’t wake you, your mother could’ve sent one of your brothers, or worse, your father looking for us. I didn’t think you’d want them to find you half naked in my bed.”
“Ugh. I hadn’t thought about that. I don’t even have any clothes up here except for the ones I wore out last night,” she replied as she scrambled to get off the bed.
Turning around so I could watch her make a fast dash to the bathroom, I noticed her fluffing out her hair before she closed to door, restricting my view.
She came out with a panicked look on her face, causing me to laugh.
“It’s not funny, Gentry. What the hell am I going to do?” she asked as she picked up her clothes from the night before.
“You’re going to calm down, for one. Just wear a pair of my sweats and a t-shirt. See, problem solved.”
“No. The problem isn’t solved. That’ll make them talk even more than seeing me come inside with last night’s attire. I can’t believe I’m having to do the damn walk of shame at the age of twenty-two.”
I stood from the bed and walked over to the dresser, pulling out the clothes I promised her and some of my own.
“There was no shame in what we did last night. Not one bit. And who the hell cares what they say? Let them razz you for a bit and then they’ll get over it.”
Pulling on a pair of basketball shorts and a random shirt I’d found, I walked over to where she stood, her hands full of her clothes and boots.
Taking the items from her grasp, I exchanged them for my clothes. I pretended to give her the answer to solve all her current problems, but I just wanted to see her in my clothes longer.
“Fine. We’ll do this your way. Turn around please,” she asked, and I let out another laugh.
“I’ve already seen you, beautiful. There’s no reason to hide from me now,” I replied as I sat on the bed to take in the view.
“You’re incorrigible,” she huffed as she unbuttoned my flannel. She grabbed her bra and panties from my hands and got dressed in a hurry.
“Why are you still sitting there? We have to go,” she replied as she looked over at the clock to see the time.
“Are you shitting me, Gentry. It’s only fucking seven in the morning. There’s no way my parents are up yet. They sleep in on the weekends ever since they hired help to take over on those days.”
I actually hadn’t even looked at the time.
I just wanted to see her. Hold her in my arms for a little longer before we returned to reality. Behind these four walls we could be whoever we wanted to be without the watchful eyes of her family. Here, she’d let her guard down and let me in.
She tried to stalk off toward the door, but she wasn’t fast enough. I caught her just before she reached her goal and dragged her toward the bed I’d just left.
“We need to talk before we go out there,” I told her as I situated her in my lap. Her arms went around my neck as she looked at me with frustration.
“There’s nothing to say. We had sex. End of story,” she said as she pinched her eyebrows together.
“There’s plenty we need to discuss. You’re just being your old stubborn self,” I told her as she turned her head to the side.
“Let me talk first. Last night wasn’t planned. I don’t want you to think that. I had this plan all l
aid out in my mind when I found out you were returning, and it got shot to shit in an instant when I saw you dancing with Dylan last night. Seeing his hands on you caused me to react in a way I never thought possible. I just need to know what you’re thinking in that beautiful head of yours,” I said as I brushed the strands of hair out of her face that had fallen.
“I don’t know what to think. I made a promise to myself before I returned home. I wasn’t going to lead you on or let you get close again. But you shot my plan to shit. I should’ve known it wouldn’t be as simple as I thought it was,” she confessed.
“Do you regret what we did?” Asking that question hurt as I let the words flow from my lips. I needed to know the answer. But I was afraid also to know what her response would be.
She ran her fingers over the back of my hand and worried her lip with her teeth, something she’d always done when she was deep in thought.
Lifting her head, she looked into my eyes and gave me her answer.
“No, I don’t regret anything we did sexually. I do regret my outburst, though. You didn’t need to see or hear any of that.”
I wanted to fist bump the air at hearing those words. That meant I had a fighting chance.
“But we can’t do that again, Gentry. However passionate we may be about each other, we were careless last night. You didn’t use protection. There’s STDs and pregnancy to worry about.”
Wait, what?
“You have nothing to worry about there from me, sweetheart. I know I’m clean. As for protection, I wasn’t thinking last night, and for that I’m sorry. Is there something you need to tell me, though?”
Please say no.
Please say no.
“Not at all. I was just saying that because I’m sure you’ve done stuff since I left,” she said as she looked away from me.
“Hey, look at me,” I said softly.
She wouldn’t budge.
I moved her around so that her legs were on either side of my body and framed her face with my hands, lifting her head up so she had no other choice but to look me in the eyes as I made my next confession.
“There’s been no one but you, beautiful.”
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