‘Who – Lachlan?’
Posy nodded.
‘He’s not angry all the time, he’s just…’ Karen paused.
‘He’s just what?’
‘I’m sorry, Posy, but I can’t have this conversation with you no matter how much I’d like to. He’s entrusted me with this and I don’t think he has anyone else in the village to confide in. If I broke that trust it would leave him with no one to turn to, and God knows the poor man needs someone.’
‘See – that’s what I mean! I know there’s something going on with him and you’ve just confirmed it. If I knew what it was—’
‘You’d do what?’
‘I could help him. Like you help him.’
Karen smiled sadly. ‘You couldn’t. I don’t mean to insult you but that’s just the way things are. He’s asked me to keep this to myself, and unless things change I intend to.’
‘I wouldn’t tell anyone – he wouldn’t have to know I know; but at least I’d understand him.’
Karen regarded Posy carefully. ‘Why do you need to understand him?’
‘Because I…’
Posy stalled. Why? That was a very good question and she didn’t have the answer to it herself. Why did it matter so much?
‘All I can tell you is that he’s rebuilding his life and he needs time and space to do that,’ Karen said. ‘Stay out of his way, Posy; it’s the best thing you can do for him. He has a lot going on; please don’t give him another thing to worry about.’
Posy could see that Karen was deadly serious, but as well as the question of why Posy cared so much about his welfare, she had to ask why Karen cared so much that Posy stayed out of his way.
‘You mean with the vineyard? Money troubles?’
‘Posy…’ Karen said, more of a warning tone now. ‘He’ll deal with that.’
‘But he has nobody to help—’
‘You don’t know that; you’re only assuming. He’s not a total pig-headed idiot. When he needs it, he’ll ask for it.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Posy said finally. ‘You’re right – everyone’s right; it’s none of my business really. I just thought I could help.’
‘I know that. Maybe if you’d arrived a year from now with the same offer things might have been different, but I fear the timing is just so off that this is not what the universe means for the two of you.’
Posy held back a frown. The two of them? That one odd phrase was enough to start firing a whole raft of new questions. It was such a strange thing for Karen to say – what on earth could it mean? She wanted to ask, but something told her she’d only get more cryptic answers.
‘I should let you get on,’ Posy said.
‘Are you sure you won’t stay for that drink? If you don’t want lemonade I can get tea…’
‘I won’t stay – I’m pretty busy to be honest; I’ve got to get Asa’s place finished because I’ve had a job offer from a design agency in London.’
‘Oh, that’s marvellous news!’ Karen said.
Posy smiled. ‘It is. As soon as I’m done here I’ll be heading back to take up my post.’
‘I’m so happy for you, but I’ll miss your little visits. We all will – people have become fond of you.’
But not Lachlan, apparently, Posy thought, and wondered why the notion pained her so much.
‘Posy…’ Karen said suddenly, breaking in on these thoughts. ‘Remember when you first came here and you asked me about John Palmer…? I don’t want to pry, but I couldn’t help but wonder… You have family at Oleander House and so you must know… I’m presuming you know…’
‘That he had an affair with Angelica?’ Posy asked. ‘It’s OK – I think we’re good enough friends now that you can say it. Yes. I don’t want it spread around – partly because I’m still dealing with it myself – but I know I can trust you because you’ve never given away anything I’ve asked you about anyone else…’ She took a deep breath. After all, it might be a relief to finally say it to someone outside her family, almost as if saying it was accepting it. ‘I think he might be my father.’
Karen didn’t look shocked as Posy might have expected her to. She simply nodded slowly. ‘So Angelica would be…’
‘My mum. That much I do know.’
‘I didn’t even know she’d had a baby.’
‘You and practically everyone else,’ Posy said ruefully. ‘Angelica gave me up for adoption, and Philomena was apparently so furious or ashamed or goodness knows what about the whole thing that she didn’t tell anyone about me.’
‘So how did you find out?’
‘She must have relented at the end, because she named me in her will.’
‘Ah.’ Karen smiled briefly. ‘For what it’s worth, I think you’re dealing with all that remarkably well.’
‘Do you think?’ Posy said. ‘Maybe I’m just ignoring it all.’
‘If you’re still interested, John was a nice man. He was quiet and he worked hard and he loved his family – he just made a mistake.’
‘A pretty big one.’
‘Yes, but he would have been devastated to know that it had caused so much pain to so many people. He never really got over the guilt of what happened with your grandfather – that’s why he and Debra moved away.’
‘Did he know about me?’
‘I don’t know. I’d say no, to be honest, because I don’t think he was the sort of man who would have ignored your existence.’
‘What about my mum? You must have known her too then.’
‘Oh, I did. Everyone did. She was lively – I think that was part of her charm. Full of energy, always looking for the next bit of excitement. I liked her a lot but I can see how she might have been a handful for her parents.’
Posy gave a strained smile. This information wasn’t the best she could hope for, but she was glad to hear that her parents hadn’t been the terrible people she’d feared they had been.
‘If you need to talk more…’ Karen said.
‘Not right now,’ Posy said. ‘I suppose I’ll think of other things to ask you and… I don’t know… somehow it seems easier to ask you than Giles or Asa.’
‘I can imagine,’ Karen replied. ‘When those questions do occur to you, you know where I am. Call any time you need.’
‘Thank you,’ Posy said gratefully. ‘That means a lot to me.’
Chapter Twenty-Three
The evidence of autumn was everywhere. The branches of the apple trees were heavy, often guarded by a cloud of sugar-hungry wasps waiting for the odd one to fall, and even though the orchard was busy most times, activity had stepped up a notch now with the arrival of hired machinery and returning hired hands in readiness for the first of the crop being stripped from the groaning trees. Giles seemed to spend every hour of every day walking the rows of trees and inspecting the fruit, searching the grass where the early ones had fallen, sometimes picking them up and cutting them open to look inside. Every day he announced not yet, but soon, and Posy wondered how on earth he could know with such conviction.
Asa seemed increasingly impatient too, and Posy guessed he wanted (or needed) his renovations done before the distractions of harvest began. He snapped at workmen and hovered over them like a DIY-obsessed vampire as they toiled, annoying the hell out of them and causing more than one complaint to Posy. She was used to smoothing things over with tradesmen, but it didn’t make her life any easier and she had plenty of reasons to be as impatient as Asa about the work. He had a harvest approaching and she had a job in London waiting. Marella’s boss, Kier (her new boss, she had to keep reminding herself), had been gracious enough to give her time to finish up here, but he wouldn’t wait forever.
Posy hadn’t managed to see Karen or Pavla since the last time she’d been up to Sunnyfields either, and she’d barely had time to chat to Marella. There had been a few awkward conversations with Jackson, but something had changed there and neither of them seemed desperate to talk to the other when they did manage to find time. Now that she th
ought about it, she’d started to go off him last time she’d been in London on their night out, but she’d ignored the signs back then.
Almost with a heavy heart, she phoned him today – not because she necessarily looked forward to it, but because she felt she ought to. He’d asked on a few occasions about the visit to Astercombe she’d promised, and she’d had to keep putting him off. Now, as autumn and a busy harvest barrelled towards them and Posy’s time at Oleander House was coming to an end, she decided she ought to tell him that the visit probably wasn’t going to happen at all.
‘Why would you say it if I can’t come?’ he asked, sounding more like a petulant child than ever.
‘I honestly thought it was going to happen.’
‘So it wasn’t just to keep putting me off?’
‘Why would I want to do that?’
‘I don’t know… because you like it too much there and didn’t want to come to London to see me?’
‘We’ve been busy – I told you that. I didn’t realise how busy things would get here, and I didn’t think it was right to ask if you could visit because it would be another thing for everyone to worry about.’
‘They wouldn’t have to entertain me – I’d be coming to see you, not them.’
‘But you’d still be on site and they’d have to consider that.’
‘Sounds like an excuse to me.’
‘It’s not.’ Posy let out a sigh. ‘Look, I’ll be home for good soon and we’ll be able to spend loads of time together. So much time you’ll be sick of me.’
‘Maybe you’re already sick of me.’
‘Of course I’m not.’
‘I just want to see you – is that too much to ask?’
What used to be endearing – him being so desperate for her to like him – now felt like hard work. Part of her, even as she tried to reassure him now, wondered why she was bothering. She wondered if he felt the same, and that they only continued to limp along in this way because they were both too polite (or maybe spineless) to be the one to call it off.
‘It’s not too much at all; I get it. Things have just got away from me lately. I’m sorry, but it’s not for much longer. So… are we OK?’
‘Yeah,’ Jackson said. ‘We’re OK.’
But he didn’t sound very convincing, and Posy had to wonder if she even cared.
* * *
It was shortly after she’d finished her call to Jackson that Sandra found Posy in the orchard crying. She didn’t even know why she was crying, only that the whole affair made her feel so wretched and helpless that it had been the only reaction she’d been able to muster.
‘Something you want to talk about?’ Sandra asked.
Posy looked up from her seat on the roots of a tree heavy with fruit.
‘And you might want to move from your spot,’ Sandra added in a more practical tone. ‘Unless you want your Isaac Newton moment – and believe me, an apple falling on your head is a lot more painful than the history books might suggest.’
Posy gave her a watery smile and got up.
‘I’m sorry—’
‘No need to be sorry,’ Sandra said briskly. ‘You’re welcome to sit where you like, but I feel it’s only fair to warn you.’ She went to the nearest tree and began to inspect the lowest-hanging apples. ‘Some of these will be ready in the next week or so. I expect you’ll be back in London by then. It’s a shame – we could have done with you.’
‘Oh. Well, I could put them off—’
‘No, of course you couldn’t; we wouldn’t hear of you jeopardising such a big opportunity. I only say it because you’ve been lovely to have around – I’ve certainly appreciated another woman to talk to – and your help would have been most welcome. Harvesting is hard work but it can be fun too; I think you would have enjoyed it.’
Posy gave a small smile. ‘I think I would have done too. If it wasn’t for this job…’
‘Of course… There will be lots of years to get involved if you wanted to.’
‘I thought – well, Mum thought she might come to pick me up when it’s time to leave so she could say hello at the same time. Unless you’re too busy, of course…’
‘That sounds lovely. Of course we’d put an hour aside for Carmel. Let me know the exact plans and I’ll arrange something with Giles and Asa so they’re free to see her too.’
‘I’ll miss this place,’ Posy said.
‘This place will miss you.’ Sandra pulled an apple from the tree and pocketed it. ‘You’ve been a breath of fresh air, especially for Asa. Things haven’t been easy for him and having you around has helped him forget his woes for a while. Not to mention his annexe looks fabulous too, of course. It’s a shame we can’t hire you to do something with the empty one.’
‘Philomena’s?’
‘Yes, although it would be difficult to do as we haven’t really decided what we’re going to use it for yet. I’m inclined towards a holiday let but Giles isn’t convinced. I suppose it has more sentimental value to him, having belonged to his mother and not mine.’
‘Holiday let sounds like a good idea to me; I bet it would be a welcome bit of extra income.’
‘Yes, it would; I don’t know how Karen would feel about the competition, though.’
‘I think she’d understand. Anyway, I would imagine it’s a different kind of client so it might not be competition at all.’
‘I suppose so,’ Sandra said. ‘I hope you won’t be too much of a stranger. I know you’ll be busy but you mustn’t forget about us.’
‘I could never do that! I love it here; it feels like my second home now. If anything, I worry that I’ve been too much of an imposition to you.’
‘You’re welcome any time you like – our house is always open for you and Carmel.’
‘Thank you,’ Posy said, tears springing to her eyes again.
‘Goodness!’ Sandra exclaimed with a chuckle. ‘I had no idea my offer would be so upsetting!’
Posy gave her a wet smile and dried her eyes on a sleeve. ‘It’s just… the thought of leaving… It’s silly, I know, but it feels so like home these days…’
‘I’m glad you’ve enjoyed your time here so much.’
‘I have.’
‘Why don’t we have a barbeque when Carmel arrives – a sort of going-away party?’
‘But I thought… the harvest…?’
Sandra wafted her hand. ‘We’ll fit it in somehow.’
‘That does sound lovely.’
‘Good, then I’ll organise something. Perhaps see if your father can get time off to come. And if you want to invite that boyfriend in London…’
‘Jackson? It’s a bit far for him really,’ Posy said. Even if it wasn’t, she didn’t think she’d be inviting him now anyway.
* * *
A few days later the annexe was all but finished. At least, the need for tradesmen was over, apart from a few final flourishes that Asa could probably do himself.
‘I don’t know what we do with our coffee…’ Asa called from the kitchen as Posy sat in the living room staring at her phone. She’d barely woken up yet, despite having been up for an hour already, and was supposed to be reading her emails, though not much information from the ones she’d read so far had sunk in.
‘You’ll use a lot less when I’m gone, I expect,’ she called back.
‘It explains why you’re so perky all the time,’ Asa replied, bringing two mugs through. ‘There was just about enough for these but we’ll have to get some later.’
Posy took a mug from him and put her phone to one side. ‘I’ll go. It’s a nice day and I could do with a walk.’
‘Take the van if it’s free.’
‘Unless we have loads of other things to pick up I’d rather get the exercise.’
Asa sipped his coffee. ‘Whatever you want. Taking a last look around, eh?’
‘Something like that. Although you make it sound like I’m leaving forever.’
‘You’d better not.’
‘You’d be lucky to get rid of me that easily.’
Asa grinned. ‘It won’t be the same without you – this little house will feel very big.’
‘You’ll learn to love it. Bathroom to yourself, no hair in the plughole, no more tripping over the cord to my straightening irons… You must have got a bit fed up of me over the last couple of months.’
‘Not at all. Although, stretching across the sofa and not having to fight over the TV remote does sound nice. Do you want me to come to the shops with you?’
‘Don’t you have things to do here?’
‘Don’t remind me…’
Posy laughed lightly. ‘I’d better not take you away from your chores – Giles would never forgive me.’
‘Spoilsport.’
Posy got up and stretched. ‘I’ll take my coffee into the bedroom and get dressed. If I’m going I’d rather go sooner than later – lots of packing to start on and I don’t want to be doing it when Mum gets here.’
Asa nodded. ‘I suppose so. It’s a shame Marella isn’t coming to the barbeque.’
‘Too much work. That’ll be me in a few weeks, I expect.’
‘Then you’ll never call me.’
‘Of course I will.’
‘No, you’ll be at work or out with Marella or Jackson. Lucky Marella and Jackson, that’s what I say.’
‘I don’t know about that. Maybe Marella but…’
Asa raised a questioning eyebrow and Posy shrugged slightly.
‘Nobody’s said it yet but I think we’re unofficially fizzled out.’
‘Oh,’ Asa said. ‘If that’s the case, don’t you think one of you ought to say so and make it official?’
‘It’s that tricky business of who goes first, isn’t it?’
‘Oh, Posy, please blink first, for your sake if nobody else’s. I can’t tell you how miserable it is clinging on when there’s no hope.’
Posy stared at him, but he said no more. He didn’t need to. He spoke from bitter experience, of that she was sure, and perhaps it was a warning she’d do well to heed.
* * *
This path had become so familiar to Posy she hardly needed to think about it. Instead, as she walked into Astercombe she turned her attention to the trees, showing the first gold and orange leaves of the season, still heavy with foliage and fruit but not for much longer, and the insects, the sun making their wings glow as they circled the fields and hedges so that it was easy to imagine how people might have once thought fairies existed. Squirrels were busy, darting in and out of the undergrowth and scampering up trees, the hedgerows were dewy and heavy with a sweet, green scent, and the sun shone down on it all with the friendliest warmth.
The Little Orchard on the Lane: An absolutely perfect and uplifting romantic comedy Page 24