Sebastian appeared in Nate’s doorway looking longingly at the warm bed. Nate patted the bed gently, inviting Sebastian to join him. In two quick leaps, Sebastian moved from the doorway to the bed and curled up near Nate’s feet. Sebastian began to purr contentedly, helping them both to relax. Nate’s eyes began to feel heavy, like sleep wasn’t a choice. He rolled over and pulled the covers over himself, wrapping himself in a cocoon of warmth. Without even being aware that he was fading, he succumbed to healing sleep. The dreaming started almost immediately.
Everything was stark white, blindingly so…everything except for the brilliant, cloudless blue sky. He began to wander through an immaculate city. Hedges and trees were perfectly manicured and the roads were lined by flawless white sand. There was not a smudge on the windows of the buildings and everything had its place. Towering skyscrapers made mostly of silvery glass and glistening white beams crowded the skyline.
Nate wandered for what seemed like a long time, moving from building to building, calling for Jennie. Sometimes he would pass people on the way, but he never recognized them and they never spoke to him. The longer he searched, the more he understood that even though people were all around him, he was complete alone. Finally, after climbing a hundred floors in the tallest building in the city, Nate reached the top. Just outside the door that opened up to the stairwell, Nate saw Jennie slip around a corner and out of sight. He willed his body to run but his legs felt heavy and cumbersome after his long climb. He called out but she didn’t respond so he began to drag his useless legs along as he pursued her. It was agonizing, but he was determined to find her. By the time he caught up with her, she’d constructed a ladder of sorts out of office chairs and was climbing up to where a roof would normally be, except now the walls touched that perfect blue sky without the restrictions of a ceiling. Her delicate curls whipped in the wind, striking her across the face as she made her way up the ladder, but she pushed on, unfazed, her eyes focused and determined. When she got closer to the top, suddenly Nate realized that she was in imminent danger. He screamed out her name again, but the wind seized his voice and took his words away before she could hear them.
His mind was whirling. He had to save Jennie. He willed his heavy legs to obey and pushed forward until he reached the chairs. Now he was close enough to see out the large picture window down to the street below. Finally, he could see what Jennie saw. He could see what held her captive. Standing on the street calling to her, no, not just calling, but pleading for her help, were her parents. In that sickening moment Nate realized Jennie would do anything to get to her parents.
He called out to her again. This time the words burst from him and the wind didn’t steal them. Nate stood breathlessly watching Jennie as she responded to his desperate cry. Slowly, she tore her gaze away from the street below and her eyes locked into his. He reached out his arms, inviting her down, and he could see that she was considering his offer, then without warning she jumped. Nate bellowed in anguish as he watched her fall. He turned away, unable to watch her die. Somewhere in the distance, he heard the ring of a bell but he didn’t care. He’d failed and Jennie was gone.
“Nate,” he heard a woman’s voice calling out to him from the living room. The white was beginning to fade and his room starting taking shape.
“Nate,” the voice began again, “It’s Mrs. Townsend. I brought you some soup.”
Nate now recognized that it was just a dream, but he was badly shaken and to make it worse his fever was raging again.
“I’m in here,” he called out, not even feeling strong enough to get up yet.
Jennie’s mom popped her head into the room. For the first time in Nate’s existence, he understood the soothing nature of a mom. She was dressed in jeans and a simple black T-shirt. In her arms she held a metal tray, and on that metal tray was something that smelled delicious.
“I hope you don’t mind,” she said. “Jennie told me your aunt was out of town, and I knew you would be too sick to cook for yourself.”
Nate forced himself to sit up and take a closer look. A large bowl with something steamy and a chunk of homemade bread made up the meal. Suddenly Nate realized he hadn’t eaten for twenty-four hours and was ravenous.
“Let’s go to the kitchen,” he said decidedly. Nate wrapped himself in his comforter for warmth and made his way to the kitchen. By the time he got there, Mrs. Townsend was already setting him a place. While he made himself comfortable, she rummaged through the mostly empty fridge for something to drink.
The soup was incredibly soothing to his aching muscles and itchy skin. After the first few bites he finally spoke. “Thank you,” he said. “I’m not used being taken care of, so I didn’t realize what it felt like—to be given help, that is.” He knew he was rambling but Mrs. Townsend didn’t seem to notice. All she heard was a thank you.
For the next few minutes, they talked like old friends. Nate noticed for the first time that Jennie and her mother had the exact same striking green eye color and although subtle laugh lines framed her eyes and lips, they both shared that flawless ivory skin that set off their dark hair. Looking at her mother was like taking a peek at what Jennie would look like in twenty years.
Before long, Cathy noticed that Nate was feeling weak again and suggested he lie back down while she cleaned up the dishes. He moved to the couch this time and rewrapped himself in his blankets. It didn’t take long for the food to settle in his stomach. He could hear Jennie’s mom gathering her things and he forced himself to sit up for a minute.
“Thank you again. I can see where Jennie learned her compassion,” he said.
Nate couldn’t be sure but he thought he saw her blush a little. “You’re welcome,” she replied. “Now get some rest. I’ll have someone check in on you every day.”
After she left and just before he began to drift off to sleep, he realized that he’d forgotten to ask about Jennie. In fact, it seemed like her kindness had nothing to do with Jennie at all. From there his thoughts drifted to March and how he was dreading its arrival. He now knew that Jennie’s parents would die in March. Their time on earth was complete, but despite this, Jennie must be kept alive. This thought took his mind to a place it had never been. He began to wonder why Mr. and Mrs. Townsend had such a short time left to live. Nate couldn’t think of a time when he’d questioned his orders. He’d always trusted his supervisor and never even asked why some had to die and others lived. So why now? He knew he couldn’t change the orders, but he began to wonder what would happen if he disobeyed. Could he save Jennie’s parents?
He was shivering again. It must be the fever, he reasoned. That must be why his thoughts were so rebellious and disjointed. He needed to sleep off these crazy ideas. Drowsiness began to roll over him like a thick fog, blanketing him until he could no longer resist. Sensing it was time for another nap, Sebastian joined him, curling up near his head this time. Just before Nate surrendered to sleep, the raw uncensored truth surfaced in the form a question in his mind… Why this family? I love Jennie too much to see her suffer. And then, mercifully, sleep came.
Chapter 15
It took Jennie three days to decide to go and see Nate. Her mother stopped by Nate’s house every day with a small meal and something to ease his discomfort. One day it was soaking salts to take away the itch. Another day she arrived with an armful of movies to keep him busy. Finally, on the third day, Cathy asked Jennie to take Nate dinner. Cautiously, Jennie consented.
It had only been five days since she and Nate had been together at the dance, but it felt like much longer. She’d gone round and round in her mind, analyzing and re-analyzing her thoughts and feelings. After five agonizing days, she came to one conclusion: she didn’t want to lose Nate’s friendship. He had woven himself into her life and she needed him. Yes, she still had lots of unanswered questions, but one thing she knew without a doubt was that Nate would never intentionally hurt her. In fact, she doubted Nate would ever hurt anyone. He was kind to everyone no matter what the
ir social status or even how they treated him. She would be patient and maybe someday she would have answers; until then she would remain his friend. The hardest part would be remembering not to touch him or look into his eyes for too long, but she could handle that, right?
Jennie corralled her thoughts like she had a hundred times in the last few days and gathered up the food her mother had prepared. She only hoped Nate wasn’t angry about her staying away for so long. After a quick drive, she was standing on his doorstep ringing the bell. Inside she could hear weary feet shuffling across the floor. When Nate opened the door, Jennie was shocked. His normally golden skin was pale and he was covered from head to toe with red spots. Some of the spots had already begun to scab over while others were just emerging. His hair was unkempt and matted on one side and his blue eyes were sunken.
“You look awful,” she blurted out.
Nate’s fever was gone and he felt much better, but he imagined to Jennie he must have looked like the living dead. Suddenly conscious of his appearance, he ran a hand through his unruly hair, trying to make himself more presentable.
“I’m trying out a new look,” he said, hoping to replace the look of shock with a smile. Then he followed up with, “I was expecting your mom.” His attempt to lighten the mood worked.
“I guess I know you’re not trying to impress my Mom,” Jennie said.
This got a small laugh out of Nate, but he soon retreated to the couch, unable to stand for very long. Sebastian appeared out of nowhere and settled in protectively near his feet while glaring at Jennie. Jennie followed Nate and crouched down near Sebastian. After she scratched him him behind the ears for a minute, Sebastian let down his guard and began to purr loudly.
“Traitor,” Nate grumbled at Sebastian as he rebundled himself in the blankets.
Jennie smiled. She was glad to see that his sense of humor was intact. She held up a large paper sack filled with food.
“I brought us dinner,” she stated as she walked to the table and began to take out delicious smelling containers covered with tinfoil.
“My mom makes the best enchiladas in town,” she continued as she fixed him a plate and brought it to the couch. Not wanting to sit at the table alone, she brought a chair into the living room and set it near him to eat her food.
They talked a little while they ate, but neither one brought up the homecoming dance or even school. For a minute it felt like everything else disappeared and they were just two friends catching up. After dinner, Jennie pulled out a set of playing cards.
“Are you up to playing?” she asked.
Nate nodded his head to say yes, and Jennie dealt the cards on the small coffee table that sat in front of the well-worn couch. Nate pulled himself into a sitting position and faced her as they played several hands. Jennie didn’t cut him any slack even though he could barely sit up. She easily beat him all three times. As she was cleaning up the third hand, she finally noticed how worn out he looked.
“Why don’t you rest?” she suggested gently.
Nate fell back onto the couch and pulled his feet up. He was constantly amazed by how much energy the body needed to fight the chicken pox.
“I’m sorry, I’m no fun,” he apologized but then quickly clarified, “but I still don’t want you to go.”
Jennie looked at him thoughtfully. “I’ll bring in my homework and stay a little longer only if you promise to rest,” she said.
“Deal,” he responded, burrowing even deeper into his blanket for warmth.
Jennie was gone for a minute then returned with her backpack. As she dug out the books she needed out of her bag, Nate took his turn watching her from the couch.
“Jen,” he called out softly. She stopped what she was doing and caught his eyes. “You’re really important to me,” he said. “You’re my best friend.”
A small gratified smile played on Jennie’s lips. They both knew they spent a lot of time together. They both knew their relationship was unique, but neither had given it the title best friends. It was an important declaration. Jennie decided now was the best time to tell him that someone had asked her to the winter formal in December.
“Thanks, I feel the same way,” she said and then quickly moved on before she lost her nerve. “Oh, and by the way, guess who asked me to the winter formal?”
“Who?” Nate responded, working hard not to let his protective feelings show.
“Kyler, the one from the basketball team.”
Nate knew who he was immediately. He was a good guy and Nate had known for a while he was interested in Jennie.
“And you said…?”
“I said, why not? I mean, I’m not in love with him or anything, but he’ll be a good date and who knows after that.”
Nate felt his shoulder muscles tense with the last part of her answer, but he also knew this would be better for both of them. Keeping their friendship intact was the most important thing. Come March, he had to be in her life, to save her life.
“That’s great,” he finished, putting the conversation to rest for a minute. When she turned her attention back to her homework, he turned over so that she couldn’t see the jealousy rising in his eyes. It wasn’t her fault Nate was struggling with the thought of her with someone else. He knew he shouldn’t have these feelings for her and he refused to punish her because of his own weaknesses. It was his problem and he would have to control his feelings so he could do his job.
For a long time he could hear the scratching of pencil running across the paper as Jennie worked on a math assignment. Other than that, there was silence. After awhile he turned around again and picked up a book he had been reading. Sebastian sensed an opportunity and made himself at home on the back of the couch so that he could watch Nate read. For the next hour, a comfortable silence ensued. Finally, around 8 o’clock Jennie stood and stretched her stiff muscles.
“I have to get home to watch Katie,” she stated as she began to gather her things.
Nate rose from the couch to walk her to the door. He still felt weak, but the food and rest gave him some temporary strength.
“Please thank your Mom for me,” he said as they stood in the doorway, “and thank you for coming to see me.”
Jennie smiled, but her smile couldn’t disguise her concern for him.
“I’ll come tomorrow after work for a little while,” she said.
Jennie put her hand on the door to leave but hesitated before turning again to face him. “You should ask someone to the dance. We could double,” she invited gently, trying not to push him too hard.
Nate knew there was no one else he would want to take to the dance, but luckily he’d learned to think before he spoke. “Let me think about that,” he responded. When he saw the disappointment on Jennie’s face he backpedaled a little. “It could definitely be fun.” He continued to try to fix it. “We’ve never done that before.” Jennie grinned, letting him know he was off the hook for now.
“See you tomorrow,” she said, finally walking through the door and out to the parking lot.
After she was gone, the apartment felt emptier somehow, as if she filled an ever-present void that Nate hadn’t noticed before she’d come. All at once, Nate felt miserable again. He shuffled back to the couch and took his all too familiar spot. Sebastian hadn’t moved from his perch, but decided to take the opportunity to stretch and then resettle in the exact same position.
To his surprise, Nate was worn out just from Jennie’s visit. As he’d learned in the last few days, rest was a healing balm and he gave himself to it. The last thing he heard before slipping into another dream was the whirring of the refrigerator running and Sebastian’s soft rhythmic purr lulling him to sleep.
Chapter 16
Jennie came to visit him every day after that. Sometimes her visits only lasted a few minutes, sometimes she stayed for hours. Time passed painfully slow for Nate, but day by day, he began to heal. Finally, after two and a half weeks, all of the sores scabbed over and Nate’s doctor gave him th
e green light to return to school.
His first day back was the Friday before the Thanksgiving holiday and three weeks before the winter formal. Jennie continued to push Nate to ask someone to the dance. In the final days of his sickness, Nate and Jennie spent hours talking about who Nate should ask.
“How about Zoey?” Nate would suggest.
“She’s a ditz,” Jennie would criticize.
“Then what about the tennis player, Stacy?” He would try again.
“She thinks the world revolves around her,” Jennie would protest.
“Then who do you suggest?” Nate would ask pointedly.
“I don’t know,” Jennie would confess. Immediately after, Nate would try another name and Jennie would find some reason that she wasn’t good enough. After awhile Nate would ask playfully, “Is there no one good enough for your best friend?” and then the truth would hit Jennie; she didn’t feel like anyone was good enough for Nate. Of course, she never admitted it to him; instead, she would carefully redirect the conversation to some other meaningless topic and Nate would let her, knowing he was putting off the inevitable.
Now as Nate walked the campus he knew the days were slipping by, and if he was going to ask anyone to the dance, it had to be soon. During all his discussions with Jennie there was one name he’d purposely neglected to mention, Aria Tomassi. Nate knew it was unlikely that she would already have a date. She was one of those girls who was known for her brains and not her looks. She was quiet, smart and essentially invisible at Palm Springs High, but Nate liked her. She had a great sense of humor and could actually speak in complete sentences, unlike some of the other girls. If she said yes, she would be the perfect date for the night.
Unbreakable Love Page 6