Celeste paused to wipe a tear from the corner of her eye before it could fall.
“You see, Nate,” she began once more, “They were a good Catholic family, and the devastation of Alberto’s death and Maria’s defilement was more than she could take. Thinking her soul was damned, Maria took her own life less than a week later.” Another tear escaped, but Celeste let this one slide down her cheek and land in her lap, leaving a small wet spot on her jeans. As if moved by the memories themselves, Celeste suddenly stood up and began to pace the floor.
Nate didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t speak. Instead, he watched her with wide eyes, absorbing every word and every pain-filled expression on her face.
“So you see, this entire tragedy was my fault. It was my lack of self-control, my disregard for the rules, that destroyed this family. It was my selfishness and stupidity that took the life of the only man I ever loved.” She was ranting now, not just sad but somehow heartbroken and livid at the same time…angry at herself and angry at the past that had carved her into the woman she was today. Finally, her ranting slowed and her voice took on a sagging quality, as if Nate could actually hear the defeat surging up and taking over.
“It took dozens of comforting angels to bring even a small measure of peace to this family’s heart, and it was all my fault.”
Nate could see that she was winding down now. Celeste forced herself to stop pacing and sit on the couch facing Nate.
He finally felt like it was time to speak. “I’m so sorry you went through all this—that Maria’s family suffered so much,” he said.
Without warning, Celeste snapped back fiercely, acting more like the woman he knew so well. “Don’t be sorry! Learn from my mistakes and do better than I did! Exercise more self-control! Be more selfless! Their time as humans is very short. Don’t destroy her life like I did Maria.”
Without even waiting for a response, Celeste rose from the couch and headed for the door once again. Nate could see that she was spent, that she had nothing more to give today, so he didn’t try to stop her. Before she ever reached the door, she was gone and he was left alone with his thoughts.
Celeste’s words rattled around in his head. For the first time he really thought about what could happen to Jennie and Kate if he failed. Did he have untapped self-control that he hadn’t accessed yet? Could he really be selfless enough to follow orders without a thought for his own needs? If he really got down to it, wanting to save her parents was about him and not wanting to see Jennie hurt. And about not controlling his feelings towards her—needing her, wanting her, when his sole focus was supposed to be on keeping her alive so that she could live on after he was gone. The ugly truth was sobering, and suddenly Nate felt shamefully selfish. Celeste’s cautionary tale was enough to muster up additional strength from within him. For the first time, Nate was facing a challenge that would ultimately show what he was really made of. Now that he truly understood the demons before him, he felt ready to fight them. For the first time in a long time, his thoughts were clear and his determination renewed.
Chapter 19
Nate spent the next two weeks trying to figure out what to give Jennie as a Christmas present. All around him, shoppers were snapping up everything from perfume to tennis racquets, but none of those gifts seemed right for her. He wanted to give Jennie something tangible, something she could see and touch long after he was gone, something special and unique. After combing every mall in the valley, he finally stumbled across her gift in the most unlikely of places. He was driving on his way to a body shop in Indio, in the farthest part of the valley, to pick up a part for his Mustang when he noticed a small boutique on the corner of a virtually vacant strip mall. It was obvious why there were no other shops in the shopping center. The buildings were nowhere near neighborhoods, or even other retail. The buildings themselves looked like they were uninhabitable, crumbling right before Nate’s eyes. Yet somehow, despite the shop’s dilapidated appearance, Nate felt compelled to go inside. Since the paint defining the parking spaces had long since worn off, he parked his car at an odd angle and went in.
The soft jingle of dozens of tiny bells looped together announced his arrival to the empty room. After his eyes adjusted to the dim lighting of the store, he began to look around. The tiny one-room store was packed from the floor to the ceiling with everything from handcrafted baby booties to an eight-foot-tall hand-carved wooden giraffe. The workmanship on everything was exquisite, but the disorder of the store made it hard to sort through its contents. Nate was just about to turn around and leave when he spotted the small glass jewelry case near the cash register.
Of course, he thought to himself, a unique piece of jewelry is a perfect gift for Jennie.
Nate found his way to the jewelry counter and studied its contents. They were surprisingly impressive. Nate looked around; he was still alone in the shop, but he wanted to take a closer look at a pair of pearl earrings that were locked in the case.
He called out, “Hello, anyone here?”
From behind a door that he hadn’t noticed before he heard a clattering of activity as if someone were fighting his or her way out. Then all at once the door flew open and out stepped the most flamboyant woman Nate had ever seen.
She was large, with wide shoulders and a thick frame, but somehow surprisingly still feminine. Her thick black hair was pulled out of her eyes with a colorful scarf. She wore at least ten mismatched necklaces around her neck, and real alligator skin boots beneath her long tasseled skirt. Nate found himself unabashedly staring at her. Luckily, she didn’t seem to notice.
“Can I help you?” she asked, looking at him under her overstated fake eyelashes.
Nate pulled his focus back to shopping for Jennie’s Christmas present.
“Um, yes,” he said, “I want to look at the pearl earrings for a friend.”
The woman took a long look at Nate, sizing him up, and then she drew close enough to reach out and gently touch his cheek. When she was done, she stepped back creating what would be considered appropriate spacing between two strangers once again.
With one wave of her hand, she dismissed his request. “You’re not shopping for a friend,” she boldly declared. “Look at you, all anxious about getting the right gift. No, you’re shopping for the one you love.”
Nate remained silent, not knowing what else to do. She wasn’t wrong, there was no reason to deny it. Somehow, Nate knew if he waited, she would continue. The woman glanced towards the jewelry case and then back to Nate.
“No, the pearl earrings will not do. You need a special gift, something that will show her how important she is to you.”
Her words hung in the air for Nate to digest as she turned and, without any explanation, went back through the door she’d used to come into the room. Nate could hear shuffling and banging behind the door as the storeowner rifled through her stock. Before long, the eccentric woman returned carrying a long thin black box. She held the box out to Nate and caught his gaze. Genuinely curious, Nate took the box without a word passing between them. Gently, with great care, Nate pulled the lid off to reveal a delicate gold necklace. The chain was woven and bound together by a gold toggle clasp and hanging from the chain was a charm crafted into the shape of an angel. Nate couldn’t disguise his surprise. It was not what he’d expected; it was far more beautiful.
“It’s magnificent,” he whispered.
The woman beamed with pride, knowing she’d found the perfect gift for Nate.
Almost mesmerized by the necklace, Nate reached out to touch it gingerly with the tips of his fingers. The metal felt cool to the touch and as he drew it closer to his face, he could see that the body of the angel was encrusted with tiny diamonds that caught the light, sending it all different directions. The effect was subtle but brilliant. Nate looked up the woman. Suddenly, her eyes bore into him knowingly.
“A perfect gift from an angel to the one he loves, don’t you think?” She said.
Nate was stunned once again
. Somehow, the woman knew what he was. Nate couldn’t confirm the truth to her. That was the very first rule, the rule that couldn’t be broken…never tell them what you really are. Yet somehow, inexplicably, she knew.
She reached out and tenderly touched the angel charm. “You’re not the first angel to give this as a gift,” she confessed openly.
Suddenly, her eyes took on a faraway look. “Now it’s your turn, and she will wear it close to her heart just as I have done for thirty years.”
Nate met her dark eyes again and an understanding passed between them as they stood there in the cluttered room. She wanted him to have it, to give it to Jennie just as her angel had done with her. Nate longed to talk to her about her angel. Questions burned in his mind. Why did she still remember him? Did she resent him when he left, or did she forgive him in time? He hungered to know that he was not alone in this bittersweet adventure, that there were others who had survived and gone on to live happy lives. He knew if he could just talk to her openly and honestly, she could assuage some of his fears. Still, he held back, not just to follow the rules but also to respect her privacy. Instead, he responded softly, his voice barely audible even in the silence of the vacant store, “Thank you. I’m sure she will always cherish it.”
The strange woman smiled at him, but behind her smile there was a thread of sadness, a loss that had taken a part of her when her angel left. Surprising him one last time, she reached up with her hands and ran the tips of her fingertips lightly across Nate’s face. He could see that although she touched his skin, she was thinking of her angel, remembering what it was like to be with him. As quickly as she became lost in the memories, she suddenly pulled back and the faraway look was gone. As if shaking off the past, she straightened up and smoothed her skirt. It was back to business.
“Well, young man,” she began using a more professional tone of voice, “you can’t purchase that necklace. However, I will give it to you and if you feel so inspired to donate money to help pay my light bill, I will not complain.”
Nate laughed. “I understand,” he replied. “Here on earth, money pays the rent, but it’s love that makes life worth living.”
The woman threw back her head and laughed appreciatively. “Truer words were never spoken,” she said as she took the small box and carried it behind the counter to wrap it in elegant silver paper before placing it in a small, brown paper bag.
Nate took the bag from her and slid a ten-dollar bill in her hand in exchange. Hopefully, she wouldn’t find the additional hundred dollars that he’d slipped into her pocket until after he was long gone. Without even looking at the paltry sum, she slipped it into her cash register.
“Good-bye, my friend,” she said as he turned to leave.
“Good-bye,” he returned warmly and walked out with the package tucked tightly under his arm.
He and Jennie planned to exchange gifts on December 23. Nate was leaving town for a few days, mostly to avoid watching her family spend their last Christmas together. He was already too close, and every time he turned around Jennie’s mother was doing something nice for him. It was impossible not to love them. It was impossible not to want to protect them. He had to stay away from them just to keep his focus, so he told Jennie he would take her to dinner and they could exchange gifts at the restaurant. Two more days, that’s all he had to wait and then he could see her eyes when she lifted the velvet lid and saw the necklace for the very first time.
Chapter 20
The uneasiness started for Jennie’s mom several days before Christmas. At first, it was subtle. Wondering why she felt apprehensive, she would go over in her mind what she might have forgotten. They were having a large Christmas party for all of her extended family the day after Christmas. She wondered if she was overwhelmed by the preparations. She was done with all of her shopping, and the turkey was ordered. In fact, the more she thought about the upcoming events, the more she realized nothing was left unfinished. When the unsettling feeling persisted, she wondered if maybe it had to do with Jennie’s 18th birthday. Maybe it bothered her on some subconscious level that her little girl was all grown up and leaving for college soon. In the last few years, she’d leaned on Jennie for friendship and support in raising her headstrong sister Kate. Whatever it was, Jennie’s mom couldn’t shake the feeling that she was missing something. Finally, in the middle of the night on the 22nd of December she awoke abruptly and knew what she had to do. The next morning she called a lawyer and set up a time to update her and her husband’s wills.
Alex didn’t seemed bothered by his wife’s sudden urgency to make their will current. He was a logical man and it made sense to him that Jennie should become Kate’s legal guardian at the age of 18 if something happened to both of them. More than anything, he was surprised that she had thought of it before he did. Usually, he took care of legal and financial matters.
The date to meet with the attorney was set for the morning of December 29th so that everyone could get through the Christmas holiday. As soon as the appointment was set Jennie’s mom felt better. Besides, she thought to herself, the chances of something happening to both of us at the same time are so slim it’s not even worth worrying about beyond the practical preparation of a will. The next day, the morning of the 23rd, Jennie’s mom put it out of her mind and once again put her energy into enjoying Christmas with her family.
Chapter 21
The California Pizza Kitchen was packed with last minute shoppers when Jennie and Nate arrived. Jennie chose the restaurant. This was her favorite pizza place and she and Nate ate there a lot. The food was good, but Nate worried that the loud environment was the wrong place to exchange Christmas gifts. Jennie carried a medium-sized box under her arm and a mischievous expression on her face. Nate could tell she was almost as excited to show Nate her gift as he was to reveal his.
They found the only table left in the middle of the crowded room and sat down. Within a couple of minutes, a server came to their table looking frayed. Most of her long blond ponytail had come out of the rubber band and she took a second to fix it before addressing them.
“I’m sorry it took me so long to reach you.” She said. “Two people called in sick and I’ve been slammed all night.”
“No problem.” Nate was quick to try to make her feel better.
The server glanced around her, hoping her other customers would be as patient before turning her attention back to Nate and Jennie. “What can I getcha?” she asked them, pulling out a small pad of white paper from a pocket of the stained white apron she wore around her waist.
Jennie didn’t even have to look at the menu. “A large BBQ chicken with extra cheese,” she said decidedly. Their server quickly took down their order and promised it would be out soon before moving on to her next table.
Nate slid his hand into his pocket to make sure that the slender box was still there. He’d probably done this ten times just since leaving the house. Jen caught his eyes from across the table. It was easy to see that she was bursting with excitement, unable to wait any longer to give Nate his present. She slid the box across the table towards him. He swallowed hard. His nerves were acting up again. He knew once his gift was opened, it would be time to give Jennie the necklace. What if she hated it? What if it meant nothing to her? He’d put so much thought into the gift, it would be hard for him if she rejected it.
Nate reached out and took the box from Jennie. She was grinning from ear to ear in anticipation.
“Open it,” she said, nearly bouncing out of her seat.
Nate slowly tore the red and green paper away to reveal a plain black box. Before he could even open the box, Jennie grabbed it from him.
“You’re too slow,” she complained. In one smooth movement, she opened the box and pulled out an expensive camera, one that allowed Nate to put his photography experience to use. Nate was overwhelmed by her gesture. He knew she didn’t make much money working at the pet store and this must have taken all of her savings.
“I don’t
what to say,” he responded, genuinely shocked, but the smile that had overtaken his expression said it all.
“I knew you’d like it,” She bubbled. “I saw the amazing photographs in your apartment and knew you’d lost your camera, and, well, I thought you might like it.”
Nate rose from his chair and wrapped his arms around her, placing his hands carefully so as not to touch her skin directly. Touching Jennie without touching her skin had gotten easier as the weather turned colder, but he was still careful to keep his distance most of the time. Jennie knew how meaningful the hug was because Nate rarely got that close to her. For a few seconds, she savored the closeness just as she did when they danced. Luckily, the busy restaurant kept the closeness brief and Nate was able to pull back and sit back down.
The minute he was in his seat, Jennie began to look at him impatiently. She was ready for her gift and Nate could see by the expression on her face that she wasn’t going to wait any longer.
Nate reached into his pocket and pulled out the box. For a brief second, he held it just below the table, steeling his nerves, and then he finally placed it in the middle of the table so she could reach it. At that very moment, a group of servers walked through the restaurant singing Happy Birthday to a patron on the far side of the room. The commotion made it nearly impossible for them to carry on a normal conversation. Without saying a word, Jennie reached across the table and slid the box until it was right in front of her. While she held the box with one hand, she pulled off the silver paper with the other, and then laid it on the table so she could lift the lid. Beneath her fingers, the lid came off easily and Jennie got her first glance of the angel necklace.
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