by K.N. Lee
She didn’t shy away when he drew closer. Her fingers tightened around her dagger.
“Um,” he began, seeing the sharp blade, “I apologize. The others were just looking for some fun. We go out on the hunt tomorrow and I’m new to the gang.”
Lilae was silent as he spoke, watching his every move. She trusted no one.
“Really?” She rolled her eyes. “What a terrible excuse for trying to terrorize someone.”
“Like I said,” Anic reiterated, motioning for her to calm down, “I apologize.”
Lilae examined his freckled face and then slowly nodded. She put her dagger into her belt. There was something in his soft brown eyes that told her he was telling the truth. She stepped away and pulled her cloak over her head once more, tucking her long tresses into the hood.
“No harm done.” When Lilae began to walk away, she realized that he was following her. Anic held the horse’s reins and walked alongside her.
“You’re called Lilae, right?”
She nodded, unsure why he walked with her. Pirin would not approve of such a thing.
“That’s a nice name.”
Lilae pursed her lips. What is he doing? She continued on without a word.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“What?”
“Why do you always hide your hair like that?” Anic pointed at her hood as he tried to keep up with her. Seeing him so interested and staring at her made Lilae uneasy.
Lilae scrunched her nose. “Why do you care?”
Anic shrugged. “I just always wondered.”
Lilae rolled her eyes. “So, you just sit around wondering about me?”
“Maybe.”
Lilae glanced at him, unable to think of a clever retort.
“Forgive me for being forward, but, you’re so beautiful, Lilae. I don’t understand why you would want to hide such a gift.”
She stopped abruptly and swirled around to face him. The color drained from her face and her eyebrows furrowed. “What?”
“Why do you look so terrified? I said you’re beautiful. Perhaps I am too blunt?” He shook his head with a smile. “My mother always tells me to keep my opinions to myself…but, I couldn’t resist.”
Lilae pursed her lips; no one had ever told her such a thing. Boys were incessantly telling Risa and Jaiza that they were beauties. However, Lilae had grown used to being so different from everyone else, never seeing anyone who even mildly resembled her.
“Thanks,” Lilae replied, fidgeting with the string of her cloak. An awkward silence filled the space between them. “Now go away.”
Anic’s smile faded, the corners of his lips rounding down. He nodded and mounted his horse, ready to turn away; then he pushed on, pressing his luck. “Can I see you again, Lilae?”
She looked down at her boots, seeing the mud caked along the soles. Lilae never imagined someone would show an interest in her, even in her dreams she was alone. She examined his face and finally shook her head.
“No.”
“Well, you can’t keep me from “seeing” you. I can do whatever I want with my eyes,” he joked. “But can I call on you? You know, come by and take you out or something? I promise I won’t try to kiss you, at least until the second date.”
Lilae felt her cheeks redden and quickly turned away from him. She couldn't believe his bluntness. She wasn’t sure if he was still joking.
“No!” She was flustered, embarrassed by the thought of kissing him.
Lilae ran along, leaving Anic behind with little hopes of speaking to her again. What he didn't see was that a small smile started to appear on her face as she ran through the forest. She tried to repress it. She couldn’t let anyone catch that secret smile.
She darted through the trees and jumped over fallen logs and branches. She wasn’t entirely sure how she felt about what Anic had said to her. One word of adoration had ignited a small ray of hope within her that she might one day find love. Still, Lilae wasn’t certain that she wanted such a thing. She shook her head to clear it of the thought.
She crashed into the cottage to see Lhana and Delia talking on the wool rug by the fire. They were discussing Risa’s and Jaiza’s weddings she presumed. Her chest heaved from the exertion of running, and she couldn't control the beaming smile on her face.
“Lilae?” Lhana called, frowning at her from her place on the floor. She removed her knitting from her lap and motioned for Lilae to sit down. “Come, you little heathen. Let me fix your hair.”
Delia examined Lilae’s face. Her brows furrowed as she looked into her eyes. “What happened to you?”
Lilae slumped onto the floor at Lhana’s knees. She looked into the crackling fire, her head swimming with thoughts of Anic. “Could you braid it tighter this time?” she asked. She hid her smile when she noticed Delia staring at her.
Lhana nodded.
“I asked you a question, Lilae,” Delia said firmly.
She tilted her head as she looked at Delia. A mischievous smile came to her lips. “Nothing. I just had some fun with the local boys.”
Delia raised an eyebrow but didn’t pry. She shook her head and continued writing in her little brown leather journal.
“Tell me again: why can’t I just cut it all off?” Even though Anic had told her that she was beautiful, she couldn't help imagining what she would look like if she had straight blond hair like Risa and Jaiza. He would like her even more then, and the girls might want to talk to her, instead of treating her like a troll.
“Nonsense,” Delia interjected. “You should be proud of your hair.”
“Why? I hate it. Everyone stares at me as if I am a strange creature invading their land. It gets annoying.”
Delia poked the fire and stood to stir the stew in the large cauldron that hung from the hearth. “It’s different. Beautiful even. Only royalty can grow hair as long in some regions. One day you’ll appreciate it.”
“Oh, hush about your stupid hair, Lilae,” Risa snapped, entering the front room from the sleeping quarters. She and Jaiza shared a loft bed that sat above the space where everyone else slept. She stretched and filled a mug with water from a clay jug. “I think you go on and on about it to tease us.”
“Tease you?” Lilae asked, her nose scrunched in genuine confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“Seriously, Lilae? Only you can pretend to be oblivious about such things. Sometimes I wonder if it’s all an act with you. Look at it. It shines like there’s magic in it or something!”
Lilae grabbed her hair, angrily. Her face heated. She couldn’t understand why they were talking this way. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“You know exactly—” Risa started.
“Girls, quiet,” Lhana interrupted in a hushed tone. “Your father is sleeping.”
“What are you complaining about,” Lilae whispered, leaning forward as Lhana grabbed a few strands of her hair to braid. “You’ll be fat with children soon enough. You won’t be bothered with me anymore,” she said with tears burning her eyes. “You’ll never have to see me or my stupid hair again.”
Risa folded her arms under her bosom and glared at Lilae. “That’s right. You’ll be off to another village, far away.”
“Where we won’t have to hear your pestering,” Jaiza added.
“I can't wait for the day we are rid of you,” Risa quipped over her shoulder and they both left the house.
Lilae stared at the door as they left. She didn’t want anyone to see that their words had stung her heart. She looked at the fire silently. She missed when they were younger and settled into a small village in Halwan. Those were the times when they could actually make friends and the family was full of love and contentment. Risa and Jaiza actually treated her like a loving little sister back then.
“They didn’t mean it, Lilae,” Delia said softly.
“Lies,” Lilae replied, but without her usual venom; her voice was hollow. “They hate me. I know it.” She didn’t let her voice waver, she was
careful of that. She refused to let anyone know the girls had hurt her. “They hate me because I keep them from living happy lives. I’m the reason they’ve gone so long without a real home. I don’t blame them. Not at all. I’d hate myself too.” Her heart thumped with both anger and sorrow.
Lhana was silent as she braided, yet she seemed to tug at Lilae's hair a little tighter tonight.
“Foolishness child! I think they would have followed you forever, if you’d have given them a chance.”
“Humph.”
Delia pursed her lips. “I’ve never seen a more stubborn person in my life.”
“Or one so selfish,” Lhana mumbled under her breath.
Lilae shrugged, feigning indifference. She had heard Lhana and it made her blood boil. She clenched her fist and tensed. She had to use all of her strength to avoid lashing out at Lhana. She bit her lip to keep her sharp retort at bay. It took everything within her to not storm off and into the night.
“You don’t even see that it is you who pushes people away.”
Lilae didn’t respond. She already tuned Delia out. She watched the flames dance and smother the logs in the hearth and bottled those feelings of hurt deep, deep inside.
Chapter 12
With a mighty shove, Risa blocked Jaiza’s sword and knocked her off of her feet.
Jaiza fell hard onto the ground with a grunt. She glared up at her sister, ignoring the scrapes on her hands.
“Jaiza,” Risa jeered with a grin. She held her sword down at her side. She was barely breathing hard. “You fight like a girl.” With a laugh she swirled her sword masterfully, just for show.
“Come on, Jaiza,” Pirin coached. He leaned against a tree and motioned for her to get up. “You can do better than that.”
Jaiza’s face turned red and she pushed herself up. She clutched her sword and stood before her sister. She focused on catching her breath as Risa ran a finger along her wooden training sword.
Pirin sighed. “You can’t always rely on your bow, Jaiza. Arrows run out too quickly and a bow is almost useless in close combat. You all need to master more than just one weapon.”
“Well why don’t we practice with bows then?” Jaiza demanded.
“Very well,” Pirin nodded. “Tomorrow, we’ll pull out the bows.”
Jaiza grinned and went in to try another attack.
Lilae sat on the grass and watched their every move as they practiced. Each move of offense and defense became engrained in her mind. She held her training swords hilt tight and waited for her turn.
Pirin glanced at her. “Jaiza,” he called. She looked back. “Switch out.”
Risa’s grin turned into a scowl.
Lilae came to her feet and turned on her Focus and Evasion.
Risa was tricky, and Lilae never underestimated her. She had truly mastered Evasion more than Lilae could ever dream of. It was difficult to master one trait, when you had them all.
Risa didn’t waste any time letting Lilae prep for her attack. She charged at Lilae without a shred of amusement on her face. Her eyes were set with a cold determination.
Lilae drew in a breath and planted her feet, waiting. Her eyes watched in anticipation as Risa’s image started to flicker. With a grunt, Lilae dove to her right. Risa’s sword crashed down on her own, sending shards of wood into the air between them. Lilae rolled out of the way of Risa’s aggressive attack. She had to get back on her feet before Risa took advantage.
Risa appeared above her and Lilae used her free arm to forcefully push her off by slamming her head to the ground.
“Ouch!” Risa cried. Her cheeks reddened.
Lilae gulped. Her cheeks flushed. She had angered Risa. She backed away, slowly, keeping her eyes locked on Risa. She quickly wiped her sweaty palm on her pants and held her sword’s hilt tighter.
Risa grabbed her sword with both hands, bared her teeth like a wild animal, and swung it with all of her might at Lilae’s side. Lilae flicked a wrist, countered the strike of Risa’s sword, and stopped Risa by swirling out of her path, around her body, and back in front of her.
She pointed her wooden sword directly at Risa’s neck.
“You’re dead,” Lilae said as Risa eyed the sword. She growled and pushed Lilae’s sword away.
“Whatever. Cheap tricks,” Risa said, catching her breath. “You’re only good for a workout Lilae, anything more simply doesn’t count. You’re some kind of creature in a human guise. Like Delia.”
Lilae smiled. “Thank you.” She winked at her. “Glad to know I can give you a good workout. I learned that move from you, Risa.”
Risa scoffed and stalked back to Pirin and Jaiza.
“That was quick,” Jaiza remarked as her sister drank from her flask. Risa drank greedily and poured the rest on her head. “I barely had a chance to rest my legs.”
Lilae hid her grin as she returned. Pirin nodded his approval. He wouldn’t gloat over her while the twins were around, but Lilae could see the pride on his face from the way his eyes crinkled at the corners, and the small smile on his lips.
He stopped before them and folded his arms.
“Right,” he pointed to Rise. “Try not to get so wild with your attacks. Anger should be contained. If you lash out like that, you can expose your weaknesses. Anger makes you sloppy. Anger kills you.” Pirin explained.
”Yes. Certainly, father. I’m too cocky, and quick-tempered.” She shot a glance at Lilae. “But what about Lilae’s critique?”
Pirin shrugged and took a bite from an apple. “Don’t hold back, Lilae. You should be cautious, but, don’t hold back to spare anyone’s feelings.”
Lilae blushed and Risa’s jaw dropped.
“Well that was a joke,” Risa exclaimed.
“That was pretty funny,” Jaiza laughed. “Not so cocky now, huh?” She gave Risa a nudge in the ribs.
Pirin grabbed his sack. He grabbed Risa’s head and gave her a quick kiss on the side of her forehead. “You did well. We can always improve though. Don’t forget that.”
Risa looked up at Pirin. “Thank you.”
Pirin clasped his hands. “All right, girls. You’d better run along before you’re late for work.”
“Right…work. I can’t wait.” Risa rolled her eyes.
Jaiza smirked. “Oh you don’t really mind. All of the boys enjoy our company.”
Risa shrugged. “Well, we shouldn’t be focused on that anymore now should we?” She glanced at Lilae as she wiped her face of sweat and water. “We’ll be fat with children soon enough. Isn’t that what right, Lilae?”
Lilae twirled a lock of her hair, and looked down at her weathered boots. “I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean it.”
“It’s ok. We’re sorry too. Right, Risa?”
Risa nodded. She grinned and put an arm around Lilae’s shoulders. “You know how I get when I wake up, Lilae.”
“Cranky?” Lilae laughed.
Risa nodded. “Exactly. Don’t take what I say too seriously.”
“It’s probably true though, the whole fat with children bit,” Jaiza smiled at Lilae. She grabbed her sack. “I’ve always wanted children. Three maybe. I took it as a compliment.”
“Speak for yourself.” Risa folded her arms across her chest. “I’m not too keen on sharing any of the attention. I want Jared all to myself. I don’t want any crying babies to care for.”
“I don’t know if that’s possible, Risa,” Lilae said softly. She blushed as she spoke, whispering so that Pirin wouldn’t hear. “I mean, once you lie with him, you’re bound to be with child. Right?”
Risa and Jaiza both burst into laughter. “Innocent little Lilae. I’m surprised you know even that much about what happens between a man and a woman.” Risa pinched her cheek.
“One day you’ll find out,” Jaiza said with a smirk.
Lilae’s blush reddened.
“Well, let’s go.” Risa led the way back to the path.
Lilae followed them from their secret spot at the edge of the meado
w on the outskirts of the village, and along the dirt road. Lilae didn’t run along as the twins did. She wasn’t particularly looking forward to her duties.
Risa and Sara were lucky. They helped bake pies and cakes at the bakery that Lukas’ wife owned. For them they had a chance to bond with their future mother-in-law.
Lilae, on the other hand, worked the fields. She entered the village and went to join the other girls in filling buckets of water from the well.
Well, Lilae thought as her eyes met with some of the village girls who waited in line to fill their buckets. They already shot her glares and her shoulders slumped. Here goes.
Chapter 13
At the strike of the village bell, everyone was allowed to quit work for the day. Lilae was glad to meet up with Pirin, so that he could walk with her back to the village.
Lilae walked a little behind, dabbing her shirt against her skin to soak up some of the sweat.
Her eyes nervously looked from side to side, and Pirin had an idea why. Lilae knew that he noticed everything, but she particularly wished that he hadn’t noticed what had been going on lately.
Every morning that day in the woods, Anic left a handful of wildflowers at the cottage door with a message written on tiny pieces of parchment. It wasn’t unknown for a blacksmith’s son to know how to read and write. There were always written orders from the nobles to read, but she found his handwriting refined, and his words poetic.
“Good morning, Lilae. Let the sun rise so that all can witness your enchanting beauty.”
“I dream of you each night, and awaken early to see you before you vanish into the crowd.”
“Your smile fills my heart with joy, if only you smiled more.”
“Why do you torture me with you silence? I yearn to hear your sweet voice again.”
Each day Lilae scattered the flowers into the dirt, but secretly kept the notes in her sack of belongings that was always packed and ready for the next move. She read them to herself at night, and would stare at the ceiling with a smile on her face and a flutter in her heart.