“You’re walking a lot lately.”
“It’s good exercise.” And a way for her to work off her anger.
“Do you have a few minutes to talk?”
“I guess. What do you need?”
“For you to sit down.” Her father waved his hand toward the chair across from him.
She took it, perching herself on its edge. “Did something happen while I was gone?”
“No. With the election soon, Ruth and I were going over our last-minute strategy. I don’t think she has anything to be concerned about, but she worries, anyway. Worry can be tough on a person, don’t you think?”
“Well, yes.” She studied her dad’s unreadable expression. What was he up to?
“Cody is teaching me that. I think you should talk to him. He’s a good counselor.”
“Why aren’t you upset about what happened last night? You sound so calm.”
“Again Cody. He’s helping me to put the situation in perspective.”
“But our home? It will be months before we can return to it.”
“Zane assures me he’ll work as fast as he can to get it repaired. He thinks he can have part of it ready for us in six to eight weeks. In the meantime, Ruth wants us to stay here.”
“You’re okay with that?”
“I’d rather do that than stay in a trailer. Wouldn’t you?”
“I’d rather have our house back,” she blurted out before censoring herself. She didn’t want to stir up her dad.
“That’s not an option.”
“And that doesn’t bother you?”
“What do you want me to say? Yes, it bothers me. Can I do anything about what happened? No. I couldn’t accept what occurred with the hurricane, which made my health decline. I’m not going to do that again. I can’t control everything. I admit that. That doesn’t mean I like it. It just means I’m going to stop fighting that fact. Let it go, Kim.”
She came to her feet. “I’m trying. It’s not that easy.”
“I agree, but you’re the only one who can decide that for yourself.”
“I’m going to bed. There’s a lot to do tomorrow.”
She sought the refuge of her bedroom she was sharing with Anna. While she got ready for bed in the semidarkness of the nightlight, she couldn’t understand why she seemed to be the only one in her family upset about the fire. So much of their belongings would have to be thrown out. Weary, she sank onto the mattress next to her sleeping daughter. She was tired of starting her life over—when Zane left her the first time, when she married Scott and then again when he walked out, and when the hurricane hit. And now the fire threatened the one stable aspect of her life the family had managed to retain over the years. Bienville. How could she pick up the pieces and start anew?
* * *
Tuesday evening, Kim reluctantly attended the watch party for Ruth’s mayoral bid at the Bay Shore Hotel. She certainly didn’t feel like celebrating after the insurance adjuster had given her the news she had expected. The age of their house made it impossible to get replacement costs for damaged areas. She would continue to negotiate with the company, but whatever amount they settled upon wouldn’t cover everything they needed. If she accepted Zane’s help, which he insisted on giving, she would be tied to him—indebted to him.
In the ballroom, the festive atmosphere urged her to forget her problems for the night, but then she spied Zane across the room, looking handsome in tan slacks, a light blue shirt and a darker blue tie. He was leaving tomorrow for Nashville and to discuss his project with the Christian Assistance Coalition. In her gut, she knew he would get their approval and be called away from Hope. That was why she needed to keep her distance. She could never leave Hope.
Maggie stepped next to Kim. “Ruth is about to make her victory speech. It’s about time. It was obvious hours ago she would win.”
“She’s being cautious—probably my dad’s influence. He once knew a candidate who declared himself the winner too early and lost the race.”
“Ruth needed his expertise. This past month there’s been a buzz about town concerning her.”
Kim’s eyes searched the crowd and lit upon her father standing with Ruth. “Yeah, Dad did a great job. I don’t think he ever thought about running a campaign.” Since he’d begun working with Ruth and talking with Cody, her father had changed. He still had tremors and got frustrated, but he was so much calmer. Instead of hiding at home, he put himself out there with others.
“Which is a good thing. This will make it easier for you.”
Kim peered at her cousin. “Easier?”
“To move on with your life.”
“Move on? I’m doing what I want. I love teaching. And we’ll get Bienville repaired and move back into the house. “
“What about Zane?”
Kim scanned the area and noticed a few people nearby who could overhear their conversation. “There’s nothing to say.” She turned toward the front of the ballroom where Ruth mounted the stage and stood behind the podium. “Ruth’s about to speak.”
“You aren’t going to get off that easy. We’ll resume this later,” Maggie whispered next to Kim’s ear.
Ten minutes later, Ruth stepped down from the stage into the midst of well-wishers congratulating her on winning. Kim’s father stood next to Ruth—like they were a couple. Was he moving on? For years after her mother had died, he’d been lost without his wife. Was Ruth and Dad’s friendship blossoming into something more permanent?
Kim glanced to her side and noticed Maggie had gone. When Kim turned back, her gaze collided with Zane’s. He threaded his way through the people in the ballroom until he stopped in front of her.
Without preamble, he discussed his plan for the house repair. “Now that we’ve got the go-ahead from the insurance adjuster, I’m starting tomorrow first thing. We’ll get the house reroofed first before working on the interior.”
She lifted one corner of her mouth. “It seems like you just did that.”
The hard edge to his eyes softened. “Yeah. Before long I could do it in my sleep.” He averted his gaze for a few seconds then met hers. “I’m leaving tomorrow afternoon for Nashville. Dad will be in charge of the crew, so if you have any questions, talk with him.”
Good. Since Tom had been repairing Bienville, they had come to an understanding. She respected him for pulling his life together and for his skills working on the house. He had an eye for bringing out the historical appeal of a place. Their once adversarial relationship had evolved until now she could call him a friend. At one time, that would have surprised her. “I will.”
“Kim, we should…” But he didn’t finish what he was going to say. Instead, he nodded once then moved away from her.
She almost went after him, but what would she say to him? I care for you? I love you? No, she couldn’t. Years ago when he left her, she’d thrown herself into a relationship with Scott and that had ended badly for not just herself but several others in her life. Her judgment had been skewed because she had looked to another for a solution to her problem. She wasn’t going to do that now. What if she was wrong about Zane? She couldn’t make that kind of mistake again. She had others to consider besides herself.
* * *
“Anna has already been complaining that this is her last year to enjoy searching for candy at the church Easter egg hunt,” Kim said to Kathleen in Broussard Park across the street from Hope Community Church on Sunday after the service.
“Kip said almost those exact words. Do you think they’ve been talking about it?”
Kim glanced at the pair hunting for the eggs near the basketball court where the older kids were searching. “Yes, and it doesn’t surprise me. They’ve been spending a lot of time together since we’ve been staying at your mom’s.”
>
“You know our parents have a thing for each other.”
Kim chuckled, surveying the crowd across the park. Ruth and her dad stood side by side holding hands. “Hard not to see it. I feel like their chaperone.”
“And I’m glad or we could have a scandal before Mom even takes office in April.” Kathleen laughed.
“I’m thrilled she won the election. She’s done so much for us, especially my father.”
Shielding her eyes, Kathleen angled toward Kim. “I could say the same thing about your father. Until he became her campaign manager, she was doing things halfheartedly. He inspired her, gave her what she needed to become enthused about running for mayor. He’s got a gift and insight into campaigning.”
“Yeah, I feel like I’m getting my dad back. I’m glad he’s happy with your mother.”
“So what about you?” By stepping in front of Kim, Kathleen blocked her view of the festivities of a hundred children running around trying to find treats before the others. “I’ve seen you and Zane together. You can’t tell me you don’t have feelings for him—like when you and I were in high school.”
“It’s more complicated now. I have to think of my daughter and Dad.”
“Zane is wonderful with my children.”
“He once told me he didn’t want to have children. I know that his relationship with his father is much better now, but I don’t…” She couldn’t finish the sentence because she didn’t really know how Zane felt since he and his father had become closer.
“Being a parent, as you well know, is scary. No matter what he says, he’d do a great job—” Kathleen pointed toward the park “—and Anna adores him.”
Kim peered at her daughter talking with Zane. Her Easter basket was full, overflowing with chocolate and candy. Anna kept bending down and picking up pieces that fell out of her basket. Zane directed her toward the sidelines while the other children continued hunting. But Anna didn’t seem to mind. She laughed at something Zane said, set her stash on the ground then sat beside it to begin eating her treats.
Kim had made it a point to avoid him as much as she could. When she did see him at her house checking the progress of the work, she would start to dream about what could have been between them. With a shake of her head, she looked away from Zane.
“His dad told me he’s partnering with the Christian Assistance Coalition to start his foundation for housing needed in areas of destruction. His life is going to be very busy. I won’t be surprised if he moves away. Zane is a hands-on kind of guy. I don’t see him turning it over to just anyone to oversee,” Kim said, more to convince herself than Kathleen.
“What’s holding you here?”
“I love Hope. I’ve lived here all my life. Dad needs me.” She threw out one reason after another, but the words didn’t really ring true to her. “Anna loves it here, too,” Kim said, throwing out one last argument but keeping the real one deep inside.
Kathleen studied her for a long moment. “I see you’re trying to fit everything into a nice little box. Life is so much simpler when it doesn’t suddenly change.”
“Like with the hurricane?”
She nodded. “One day we had a beautiful small town on the Gulf. The next day our house washed away or took in water. I lost almost all of our possessions when my house was swept away.”
“How did you handle it?”
“By leaning on Gideon. He taught me to renew my faith in the Lord. God is my strength. If I can’t control my life—and I can’t—I’m glad it is in His hands. Let your insecurities and fears go. Life is too short to worry all the time.”
In the middle of the field, children sat on the grass, digging into their baskets and unwrapping their candy. Zane planted himself in their midst supervising them, making sure no child went without his share. He was good with kids, she reminded herself again. He should be a father.
“You see it, don’t you?” Kathleen asked.
Kim didn’t have to ask what Kathleen meant. “Yeah.”
“Go talk to him.”
“I can’t. I—”
“Do you love him?”
“Yes, but it’s not that simple. I loved him fifteen years ago, and he left me.”
“You’ve never forgiven him, have you?”
She started to say, “Yes, of course I have,” but she realized if she examined her heart she couldn’t really answer that truthfully. Instead, she said, “No, not like I should have.”
“First you need to do that. Everything else will fall into place after that.”
* * *
Later that afternoon, she heard Zane calling her name as she stood in the middle of her bedroom upstairs at Bienville. She went into the hallway and leaned over the banister. “I’m up here.”
He appeared at the bottom of the staircase. Wariness guarded his expression while he made his way to the second floor. “Dad told me everything was going well. Is there a problem?”
“Yes, there is.”
His forehead crinkled. “What?”
“I’ve been doing things all wrong.”
“With the house?”
“No, with you.” She grabbed his hand and tugged him toward her bedroom. “You see this room?”
“Yeah.” He sent her a puzzled look.
“When I used to look at it, I thought it was my home. Where I grew up. Where I would always live. I used to think this house grounded me. Kept me focused on what was important—family and tradition. I was wrong. Now all I see is just a room. One day it will be a nice bedroom again but just a bedroom. No more, no less.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“After talking with Kathleen earlier at the egg hunt, I started thinking about what she asked me. She wanted to know if I forgave you for leaving all those years ago.”
Both of his eyebrows rose.
“In the end, I had to tell her no. I’d been holding on to a small part of my anger and fear. I couldn’t quite let go and forgive you totally because that would mean I would be free to feel again. And I was scared of my feelings. Didn’t trust them.”
Skepticism darkened his eyes. “You do now?”
She inhaled then exhaled a deep breath. “I’m trusting God. For so long I’ve tried hard to control my life because I didn’t want to go through the kind of marriage and divorce I had with Scott again. The Lord has shown me I’m not in control really. Life changes sometimes quickly and unexpectedly. But through all of that I won’t be alone. I like that feeling. It’s kind of freeing not to feel I have to control everything for it to work.”
“I’m glad for you. You’ll be happier.”
He said all the right words, but he remained a few feet away from her, his arms crossed over his chest. Had she lost his love? Was it too late? She fortified herself with another deep breath and said, “I love you, Zane. I know now I never stopped. I hope I can play a part in your life.”
He held his ground, and she worried it was too late for them. “You know the foundation was approved, right?”
She nodded. “I’m glad. It’s needed.”
“What if I wanted to travel for the first year or so getting it started and training the right team?”
“You should. I’ll be behind you all the way.”
Finally he stepped closer and said the words she wanted to hear. “I love you. I want us to marry. Are you willing to leave Hope for me?”
“Yes,” she said without hesitation. “Because I love you and where you are is my home. Not this place.”
“What about Anna?”
“She can go, too. I can homeschool her. She’ll learn so much traveling, being involved with your project. It’ll be an adventure.”
His gaze penetrated through any barriers she’d erected as
though he could peek into her heart and see her true intent. Suddenly a smile graced his mouth, and he closed the space between them. “You really mean it?”
“You know me. I wouldn’t say it unless I did. I’m tired of being alone. I want a partner, someone who will love me through the bad times, as well as the good.”
He slid his arms around her and tugged her nearer. “Ma’am, I’m up for that job.”
She rose up on her tiptoes and brushed her lips across his. “You’re okay with being a father? Because Anna needs one.”
“Okay? I’m ecstatic.”
She leaned back. “You’d consider more children?”
“Once we aren’t traveling so much. Give me a year to get the project up and running, and then you can have your way with me.”
She laughed, and Zane kissed the laughter from her lips.
Epilogue
Two months later
For years Bienville hadn’t been decked out in such colorful grandeur as it was today, the day of Kim’s wedding to Zane. She came down the staircase after changing into her traveling clothes to find everyone, including her husband, standing on the ground floor of the family’s renovated antebellum home. Cheers rose as she descended toward Zane.
She fit her hand in his, and they faced their family and friends who had been invited to the reception at Bienville. She skimmed over the smiling faces of her dad, Ruth, Maggie, Brady, and Zane’s father and finally rested her gaze on Anna. Her daughter beamed, dressed in a beautiful yellow dress. Kim signaled to Anna who rushed toward her and threw her arms around her and Zane.
“Bring me something back from St. John, please.”
“We will. You aren’t gonna give Papa Keith any grief, are you?” Zane asked what Kim identified as a serious fatherly voice.
Anna giggled. “Ruth won’t let me get away with anything.”
“I know. But I had to ask.” Zane winked at his new daughter.
She turned to Kim. “I’ll do my homework while you’re gone, and Papa Keith is going to work with me on my math and reading.”
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