by Judi Curtin
‘What else was he interested in?’ asked Jenny, giggling.
And then it came to me. ‘Stars,’ I said. ‘He was really, really into stars.’
‘Football stars? Movie stars?’ asked Jenny.
‘Not that kind of star. I meant real stars – the ones in the sky. Kate knows all about them, because her father was kind of obsessed with them.’
‘That’s where we start then,’ said Jenny. ‘Get your coats, girls, we’re going on a mission.’
I jumped up quickly and hugged Jenny. ‘What was that for?’ she asked, looking surprised and pleased.
Because you’re so cool and funny?
Because now that you’re involved, I think this plan might actually work?
Because instead of finding a hundred reasons not to do this you’ve just decided to get stuck in?
Because I would so much love to have a brilliant big sister like you?
But all those things would have sounded much too weird and embarrassing, so I said, ‘Just because. Now let’s go. We can’t afford to waste any time.’
An hour later we were standing outside the head office of Astronomy UK.
‘You know they’re going to think we’re totally crazy?’ said Ruby.
‘And we care because?’ said Jenny pushing open the door. ‘Now remember, we don’t need to give away too many details. We’ll just say we’re looking for this man. We won’t say why, and hopefully they won’t ask.’
The friendly receptionist didn’t recognise Patrick from the photograph, but she put his name through the computer, and I was very hopeful for about three seconds, until she said, ‘Sorry, girls. There’s no Patrick Ryan on our membership list.’
‘Oh,’ I said so sadly that she smiled at me.
‘Don’t worry. That just means that he’s not signed up. Lots of people come to our meetings without ever formally registering. Why don’t you come along to our next gathering and you might see him then?’
‘When is your next gathering?’ asked Jenny.
The woman consulted a calendar. ‘Six weeks time.’
I sighed. We barely had six hours left.
We thanked the woman and were walking away when she called us back. ‘You know there are three smaller, local astronomy groups in London. Maybe your friend is part of one of them?’
I felt like kissing her as she wrote down the names and contact details of the leaders of the three smaller groups.
‘I feel like a proper detective,’ said Ruby as we set off to track down the first person on the list. ‘Who’d have thought that searching for a lost person could be so much fun?’
Chapter Sixteen
Three hours later, the search didn’t seem like so much fun any more. We had made no progress at all, and we were getting tired. I wondered how tv detectives managed to solve their cases in an hour – with ad-breaks.
It had taken us ages to find the first person on the list. When we did find him, he turned out to be really mean and grumpy and he didn’t know anything about Kate’s dad either.
When we finally got to the apartment of the second person, her flatmate told us that she wasn’t there.
‘Will she be back soon?’ I asked hopefully.
The flatmate shook her head. ‘Sorry. She’s gone on an astronomy tour of South America. She won’t be back for months. I don’t suppose you’d like to sublet her room? I can’t afford the rent on my own.’
We assured her that we weren’t looking for a home, and then left, feeling totally fed up.
By the time we knocked on the door of the third group leader, I didn’t dare to feel hopeful any more. I felt that I was messing up our last day in London, and it was all going to be for nothing.
The man who answered the door was suspicious when we asked him if he knew Patrick Ryan.
‘I don’t know him,’ he said. ‘And even if I did, I’m not sure I’d tell you. Does he owe you money or something?’
‘No,’ said Ruby quickly. ‘It’s nothing like that. Patrick is an old friend, and we want to give him some good news about his family.’
I wasn’t sure what part of Your mother is sick and it’s looking like your daughter will have to go into care was good news.
Still, I couldn’t worry about details like that now. This was our last chance to help Kate, and I had to make the most of it. I pulled out the photograph.
‘This is him,’ I said. ‘Has he ever been to any of your meetings?’
The man looked at the photograph for a long time. ‘He does look kind of familiar, but I don’t know who he is. You should find Peggy. She’s a regular at our meetings, and she knows everything about everyone. If anyone knows your friend, she will. She lives down on Bridge Street, right next to the flower shop.’
I wasn’t sure if he was really trying to be helpful, or if he just wanted to get rid of us, but all of a sudden I didn’t care.
Before we’d finished thanking him, he had closed the door in our faces.
‘Charming,’ said Ruby, as we walked away.
When we got to Peggy’s house, the front door was opened by a thin woman with neat grey hair. Before we even had time to explain what we wanted, she had invited us in for tea. Tea sounded nice, but Jenny refused.
‘Thanks very much,’ she said. ‘But we’re just here to see if you know this man.’
Peggy smiled when I showed her the photograph. ‘I don’t think this was taken any time recently,’ she said. ‘But I definitely know that man. He’s a regular at our monthly astronomy meetings. He’s not very talkative, is he?’
‘I wouldn’t know,’ I said, before Jenny poked me in the ribs. ‘I mean, I know,’ I said quickly.
‘Anyway,’ said Jenny. ‘Do you know where he lives?’
Peggy shook her head. ‘Like I said, he doesn’t say much. But I can give him a message when I see him if you like. We have a meeting in three weeks time and I’m sure he’ll be there.’
‘Thanks, but that’s too late for us,’ I said as we turned to go.
We’d reached a dead end. It was time to face up to the fact that there was nothing I could do to help Kate.
Just then a small black dog came running from the back of the house.
‘My little baby,’ said Peggy scooping him up. ‘Come and meet the nice girls.’
I had the awful feeling that the woman was lonely, and didn’t want us to leave.
‘Isn’t he a darling?’ she asked, grabbing one of his skinny paws and waving it at us.
‘He’s lovely,’ said Ruby politely, even though he was the ugliest, scrawniest dog I’d ever seen.
‘What’s his name?’ I asked, jumping backwards as the dog puffed a stinky waft of dog-breath into my face.
‘This is Edgar,’ said Peggy. ‘And goodness gracious, why didn’t I remember this before?’
‘Remember what?’ I asked, bracing myself for a long boring story about her darling dog.
‘That man you’re looking for – Patrick,’ said Peggy. ‘One day while we were waiting for the astronomy meeting to start, I was telling him about Edgar’s toenail operation, and Patrick didn’t seem very interested, I have to say, but when I was finished he did mention that “Edgar” was an unusual name for a dog, and I told him that Edgar was called after the writer Edgar Allen Poe, because my late father was a big fan of his and ……’
She rattled on for a long time, and even though I felt sorry for the lonely old lady, I had a feeling that she was just wasting our time. But then, amazingly, she finally got to the point.
‘…… and then Patrick said that he lived on a street with the same name as my dog.’
‘So he lives on Edgar Street?’ said Jenny. ‘Do you happen to know where that is?’
‘Actually, I do,’ said Peggy. ‘My aunt Julia used to work near there, and sometimes when I was a little girl, I went to her office on my way home from school. Julia was a nice old lady, but a bit disorganised. One day she …..’
What felt like hours later, we’d got directions to
Edgar Street, and we thanked Peggy and set off on the next step of our journey.
Luckily, Edgar Street was small, with only a few houses on it. The woman in the first house was very helpful when we showed her the photograph.
‘I don’t know his name,’ she said. ‘But he lives just across there, in the house with the blue door.’
‘I can’t believe we’ve actually done this,’ said Ruby as we crossed the road. ‘Don’t you feel proud and clever and grown-up, Eva?’
I shook my head. I didn’t feel any of those things – I just felt sick and nervous.
‘What are we going to do if he’s not there?’ asked Jenny.
‘What are we going to do if he is there?’ I asked.
‘What do you mean?’ asked Jenny.
I stopped on the footpath, and sighed. ‘This was a totally stupid idea. I don’t know why we’ve bothered. Patrick knows where Kate is. If he cared about her, he’d have come home years ago. Nothing we say will make any difference to him. I’m sorry, Ruby and Jenny. I’ve messed up your day for nothing.’
‘Hey,’ said Jenny putting her arm around me. ‘This isn’t like you, Eva. You helped Mum and Ruby last year, and you helped Kate too. I know you’re not going to give up now – not when we’re so close.’
I wasn’t sure she was right, but before I could answer her, she was marching up the driveway and knocking on the door.
‘Come on, Eva,’ she said. ‘Don’t let me do this all on my own.’
So Ruby and I ran up the driveway and arrived just as the door was pulled open. I was bracing myself for my first look at Kate’s long-lost father and was totally surprised to see a pretty woman, with long brown hair, and kind eyes. She was wearing jeans and a big baggy jumper, and in her arms was a totally cute, curly-haired baby.
The woman smiled and spoke in an American accent, ‘Hello girls,’ she said. ‘What can I do for you all?’
I was embarrassed.
‘Sorry,’ I said. ‘We didn’t mean to bother you. We were looking for someone, but I think we’ve come to the wrong place.’
I was turning to walk away, when Ruby grabbed my arm.
‘Show her the photograph, Eva,’ she said.
‘Yes, do show me the photograph,’ said the woman. ‘If your friend lives around here, maybe I can help you to find them.’
He’s no friend of ours, I felt like shouting.
I was cross now. I was wasting my time, and ruining the last day of Ruby’s trip.
But everyone was staring at me and waiting, so I pulled the photograph from its envelope and held it towards the woman. The baby grabbed for it, and the woman pulled it away from him.
‘No, Simon,’ she said. ‘That’s not your dinner.’ She looked at the photograph and gave a big laugh. ‘Oh my!’ she said. ‘Look at that, Simon. It’s your daddy!’
I could feel the blood draining from my face. ‘But it can’t be,’ I said.
The woman laughed again. ‘I’ve never seen him with such a bad haircut, but there’s no mistaking that smile. That’s my husband, Patrick.’
Chapter Seventeen
Ruby, Jenny and I stood on the doorstep like we’d been turned to cold, stone statues of ourselves.
This didn’t make any sense.
How could Patrick be married?
How could he have a wife and baby?
How could he be playing happy families here in London, while Kate, his real family, was all alone in Ireland?
Just then a door opened at the back of the house, and a man walked along the corridor towards us.
His hair and his face had both got thinner, but even so, I was certain that I was looking at Kate’s dad.
He was smiling at us, like he was perfectly innocent, like he’d done nothing wrong in his whole life.
‘What’s going on out here, Zoe?’ he said. ‘I’ve made Simon’s tea, and it’ll be going cold.’
While he spoke, he gently stroked the baby’s hair, and the baby gazed at him adoringly.
Suddenly I felt like screaming.
How dare he love this baby, when right now, Kate was probably lying on my bed sobbing her heart out because she had to go and live with strangers?
I grabbed the photograph from Zoe’s hand and shoved it into my pocket, not caring that I was crumpling it up and ruining it.
‘There’s something I’d like to tell you,’ I said to Patrick.
I wasn’t sure what exactly I was going to say, but I knew it wasn’t going to be nice.
Jenny must have guessed that I wasn’t going to be very diplomatic. She smiled at Zoe.
‘Do you think you could excuse us for just a minute?’ she said. ‘There’s something we need to say to Patrick.’ Zoe gave us a funny look, but she didn’t move. ‘It’s about astronomy,’ said Jenny quickly. ‘My sister and her friend want to interview amateur astronomers for their school magazine. You could listen if you like, but you’d probably be totally bored, and we’d feel bad if the baby’s tea got cold.’
Zoe started to turn away, but then she turned back again. ‘So how come you’ve got a photograph of Patrick?’ she asked.
There was a long silence.
I looked at Ruby and Ruby looked at Jenny, and the baby laughed like this was all very funny.
‘It’s kind of a long story,’ I said. ‘You see …….’
I stopped and Jenny must have guessed that I had no idea what to say next.
‘You see, my third cousin, Seamus, was in school with Patrick, years ago, in Ireland,’ she said. ‘And when we said we were coming here, Seamus found this photo in an old album, and he said it would be funny to bring it along. So we did.’
‘Seamus who?’ asked Patrick.
Jenny smiled at him, ‘Seamus Murphy. But you might not remember him. It was a long time ago, and cousin Seamus is a forgettable kind of guy.’
By now Zoe must have been tired of talking about long-lost friends called Seamus. ‘I’ll go in back and feed Simon,’ she said. ‘You guys take all the time you need.’
Then she went into a room at the back of the house, closing the door behind her.
For a minute no one said anything. Patrick stood there calmly, with his arms folded. He was probably expecting some not-very-exciting questions about galaxies and telescopes. Clearly he had nooooo idea what was coming next. I’d have felt sorry for him – except that I was angrier than I had ever been in my entire life.
I was afraid to open my mouth. I felt like there was a volcano simmering inside me. I was sure that if I said a single word to Patrick, it would trigger an explosion that I could never manage to control.
Then I remembered the other photograph in the envelope. It was a really nice one that I’d taken of Kate next to her special tree the summer before. I took out the photograph and handed it to Patrick. He looked at it for a long, long time. Then he covered his face with his hands.
When at last he spoke, his voice was totally weird – all hoarse and croaky.
‘That’s Kate,’ he said. ‘My Kate.’
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘You got it in one. That’s Kate – your daughter. I’m surprised you even remember her name.’
‘But who are you?’ he asked. ‘Why are you here? Has something happened? Is Kate all right?’
Now I couldn’t hold back my anger any more. ‘How could she possibly be all right? You ran out on her! What kind of evil, horrible father does that? How could––?’
I knew I was shouting, and I didn’t care.
Jenny put her hand on my arm. ‘Being angry isn’t really going to help Kate,’ she said. ‘Why don’t you just explain to Patrick exactly why you’re here?’
I knew she was right, so I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm myself. Ruby squeezed my hand, almost like by doing so she could give me some of her strength.
Even so, I knew already that it wasn’t going to work. Patrick had moved on, and there was no room for Kate in his cosy new life.
Still, though, I owed it to Kate to try, so, in a c
old voice, I told Patrick all about Martha – his own mother – getting sick. He looked worried for a second, but relaxed when I said that all she needed was a few months’ rest. Then I went on to tell him about the social workers and the foster care and everything.
‘Poor Kate,’ he said when I was finished. ‘My poor, poor little girl.’
He spoke so gently that, for one moment, I dared to think that there might be some hope.
‘Kate doesn’t want to live with a foster family,’ I said. ‘She wants to stay in her own home, and you’re the only one who can make that happen. You need to go back to Seacove and stay there with her. It’ll only be for a few months. After that, Martha will be better, so you can leave if you want to. But you probably won’t want to, once you get to know Kate again. She’s amazing. She’s smart and funny and––’
Just then the sound of the baby’s crying drifted towards us from the back of the house. Patrick turned and looked over his shoulder nervously, and suddenly I understood.
‘Zoe knows nothing about your life in Ireland, does she?’ I said. ‘I bet she doesn’t even know that Kate exists.’
Patrick didn’t reply, but his guilty face told me all I needed to know.
I felt like shoving past him and running in to tell Zoe the truth.
Why did she deserve to live happily ever after while poor Kate had so little?
Once again Jenny read my mind.
‘Let it go, Eva,’ she said. ‘It’s not your secret to tell. And none of this is Zoe’s fault anyway.’
I knew she was right. I forced myself to forget about Zoe and baby Simon, and I glared at Patrick.
‘Kate is your daughter. What are you going to do to help her?’
Suddenly he looked old and weary.
‘It’s not easy,’ he said. ‘I can’t just walk away from my family.’
‘Why not?’ I said, angry again. ‘You did it once before.’
He flinched, almost like I’d hit him.
‘And that’s exactly why I can’t do it again,’ he said. ‘I’m not a monster. I know how much I must have hurt Kate, so I can’t do the same to anyone else.’