Finn had snuck into my room early in the morning, and my initial excitement faded when I saw how frantically he picked out my clothes. He instructed me to get ready with lightning speed and to be on my best behavior all day. I hated the way he treated me like I was five and it was my first day of kindergarten.
But sitting there, watching them analyze every minute detail of a flippin’ seating chart, I really felt like a five-year-old. One who had gotten in trouble and had to sit in a very agonizing time-out. I tried to look studious and interested in all of this, but I didn’t know any of these people.
We were in the War Room in the south wing where walls were plastered with maps. Red and green patches speckled all of them, indicating other tribes of trolls. I’d been trying to study them while Elora and Aurora talked, but Elora kept snapping my attention back every time it wandered.
“If we put the Chancellor here, then Markis Tormann will have to move from this table entirely.” Aurora tapped the paper.
“I don’t see another way around it.” Elora smiled as sweetly as she could manage, and Aurora matched it perfectly.
“He’s traveling a great distance to be here for this.” Aurora batted her eyes at Elora.
“He’ll still be near enough where he can hear the christening,” Elora said and turned her attention to me. “Are you ready for the christening ceremony?”
“Um, yeah,” I said. Finn had mentioned it to me, but I hadn’t been paying that much attention. I couldn’t say that to Elora, though, so I just smiled and tried to look confident.
“A Princess doesn’t say ‘um.’ ” Elora narrowed her eyes at me, and Aurora did a poor job of trying to mask a snicker.
I sighed. “Sorry.”
Elora looked like she wanted to chastise me further, but Aurora watched us both like a hawk. Elora pursed her lips, biting her tongue so she wouldn’t show any sign of weakness.
I didn’t understand what Aurora was doing here or what Elora had to fear from her. She was the Queen, and as far as I could tell, Aurora’s only ability seemed to be making backhanded compliments and veiled threats.
The Marksinna looked radiant, wearing a long burgundy gown that made me feel incredibly underdressed in a simple skirt. Aurora’s beauty nearly overshadowed Elora’s, and that was really saying something, but I don’t think that kind of thing mattered to Elora.
“Perhaps you should continue your training elsewhere,” Elora suggested, glaring at me.
“Yes. Excellent idea.” I jumped to my feet so quickly I almost knocked the chair over behind me. Aurora’s amused expression changed to downright disgust, and Elora rolled her eyes. “Sorry. I’m very excited about all of this.”
“Contain yourself, Princess.”
Using restraint, I left the room as calmly as I could. I wanted to rush out, feeling much like a kid on the last day of school. I wasn’t sure that I knew my way back, and I had no idea where Finn was, but as soon as I thought it was safe, I picked up my pace, nearly jogging away.
I’d made it a little ways down the hall, past several closed doors, when somebody stopped me.
“Princess!” a voice called from one of the few open doors.
I stopped, tentatively peering inside the room. It appeared to be more of a den, with a lush red rug in the center surrounded by leather chairs. One wall was made of glass, but the shades had been pulled shut over most of it, leaving the room in shadows.
A heavy mahogany bar sat in the corner, and a man leaned in front of it, holding a glass in his hand. I squinted, trying to get a better look at him. His hair looked disheveled, and he was dressed nice but casual.
“Don’t you recognize me, Princess?” He had a smile in his voice, so I thought he might be teasing.
“It’s just hard to see,” I said, stepping into the room.
“Garrett Strom. Willa’s father,” he told me, and I could see his grin widening.
“Oh, right. It’s good to see you.” I smiled back, feeling more at ease. I’d only met him at dinner the other night, but I liked him. “Can I help you with something?”
“Nope. I’m just waiting for your mother, but I’m assuming it’ll be a long day, so I got a jump start.” Garrett motioned to the drink in his hand.
“Nice.”
“Do you want something to drink?” Garrett offered. “I’m sure you need one, with Elora putting you through your paces.”
I chewed my lip, thinking. I’d never drank before, other than a glass of wine with dinner, but after the last few days I definitely could use something to take the edge off. However, Elora would kill me if she found out, and Finn would be more than disappointed in me.
“No, I’m good.” I shook my head. “Thanks, though.”
“Don’t thank me. It’s your liquor,” he pointed out. “You do look worn out. Why don’t you take a load off?”
“All right.” I shrugged and sat down in one of the chairs. The leather may have looked distressed, but the chair had the hard buoyancy of being brand-new. I moved around, trying to get comfortable, before eventually giving up.
“What is she having you do?” Garrett asked, sitting down across from me.
“I don’t know. She’s making a seating chart.” I leaned my head against the back of the chair. “I don’t even know why she wanted me there, except to point out what I was doing wrong.”
“She just wants you to feel included in all of this,” Garrett said between sips of his drink.
“Well, I’d rather not be included,” I muttered. “Between her and Aurora giving me icy glares and judging everything I say and do, I’m perfectly happy to be left out.”
“Don’t let her get to you,” Garrett advised.
“Which one?”
“Both,” he said with a laugh.
“Sorry. I don’t mean to dump on you.”
“Don’t be sorry.” He shook his head. “I know how hard this can be, and I’m sure Elora isn’t making it any easier on you.”
“She expects me to know everything and be perfect already, and I haven’t been here that long.”
“You’re strong-willed. You get that from her, you know.” Garrett smiled. “And as strange as it sounds, everything she’s doing—it’s to protect you.”
It was the first time anyone had drawn any kind of comparison between Elora and me, and it warmed me in a weird way. I realized that he was one of very few people I’d met who called her “Elora” instead of “Queen,” and I wondered exactly how well he knew her.
“Thanks,” I said, unsure what else to say.
“I heard Willa visited you last night.” His eyes settled on me. My vision had adjusted to the darkness of the room, and I could see the softness in his gaze.
“Yeah, she did. She’s been very helpful.”
“Good. I’m glad to hear it.” Garrett looked relieved at that, and I wondered what he’d been expecting me to say. “I know she can be a little”—he wagged his head, searching for the right word—“Willa at times, but she means well.”
“Yeah, Finn filled me in.”
“I’ve been working on her to lighten up on the mänks. But it’s a work in progress.”
“Why is she so hard on Rhiannon?” I hadn’t seen Willa talk to her much, but what little she said had been filled with jabs and snide remarks, even worse than Aurora’s.
“Rhiannon got to live with me nineteen years before Willa did,” Garrett explained. “Willa’s always been secretly afraid that I preferred Rhiannon over her, but the fact is, while I love Rhiannon, I only have one daughter.”
I had never thought about him loving Rhiannon, or anyone loving the mänsklig left behind. I looked in the direction of the War Room, as if I could see Elora through the wall. I couldn’t imagine her loving anyone.
But the only babies among the Trylle elite were mänsklig, and at some point parental instincts had to take over. Certainly not with everyone, but it made sense that some, like Garrett, would feel as if the child they raised was their own.
“Do you think Elora loves Rhys?” I asked.
“I think Elora is an incredibly hard woman to get close to,” Garrett allowed carefully, then he smiled at me. “I know she loves you, though.”
“Yeah, I can tell,” I said dryly, unwilling to even consider what he’d said, let alone believe it. I’d been burned by enough crazy moms already.
“She speaks very fondly of you. When you’re not around, of course.” He gave a small chuckle. Something about the way he said that, I felt a sense of intimacy in it.
An image flashed before me. Elora sitting at her vanity, wearing a robe, and putting on jewelry. Garrett was behind her, still lying in her bed with the sheets covering him. She made some offhand comment about me being prettier than she expected, and before he could agree, she told him he needed to hurry and get dressed.
I shook my head, clearing it of the thought.
“Are you dating Elora?” I asked directly, even though I already knew the answer.
“I definitely wouldn’t call it dating,” he scoffed and took a long drink. “Let me put it this way: I’m about as close to her as anyone can get. Well, at least anyone can get now.”
“ ‘Now’?” I furrowed my brow. “What do you mean by that?”
“Elora wasn’t always the cool, collected Queen you know and fear.” There was a bitter edge to his words, and I wondered how long he’d been seeing her. Had it been while she was married to my father? Or when she was in love with Finn’s father?
“What made her change?” I asked.
“The same thing that makes everyone change: experience.” He turned his glass in his hands, admiring what little liquor he had left.
“What happened to my father?”
“You’re really digging deep, aren’t you?” Garrett cocked an eyebrow at me. “I do not have enough alcohol for this conversation.” He knocked back the rest in one swallow.
“Why? What happened?” I pressed, leaning forward in my chair.
“It was a very long time ago.” He took a deep breath, still looking down. “And Elora was devastated.”
“She really loved him, then?” I still found it weird to think that she’d ever loved anyone. She didn’t seem capable of any emotion deeper than anger.
“I honestly don’t know. I didn’t know her that well back then.” Garrett abruptly got up from his chair and walked over to the bar. “My wife was still alive, and we only had a casual acquaintance with the Queen.” He poured himself another drink, keeping his back to me. “If you want to know more about all of this, you’ll have to talk to Elora.”
“She won’t tell me anything.” I sighed and leaned back in the chair.
“Some things are better forgotten,” Garrett mused. He took a long drink, still keeping his back to me, and I realized belatedly that I’d upset him.
“Sorry.” I stood up. I didn’t know how to correct the situation, so I thought leaving might be the best way to fix it.
He shook his head. “No need to be sorry.”
“I should get back, anyway.” I edged toward the door. “Finn is probably looking for me by now.”
Garrett nodded. “Probably.” I’d almost made it out the door when he stopped me. “Princess?” He turned his head to the side, so shadows darkened his profile. “Elora’s hard on you because she’s afraid to care about you. But she’ll fight to the death for you.”
“Thanks,” I mumbled.
The light in the hallway felt too bright after the dimness of the den. I didn’t know what I’d said that had upset Garrett so much. Maybe bringing up memories of his dead wife. Or maybe reminding him that while Elora couldn’t openly care for him now, she had cared once, for another man.
I tried to push away the confusion Garrett had made me feel. I wasn’t sure if I could trust the things he’d said about Elora. I didn’t think he was a liar, but he’d wanted to make me feel better. Convincing me that I had a mother who actually loved me probably would help, but I had long since stopped holding out for that dream.
I found Finn in the front hall, directing several of Elora’s aides with the planning for the ball. He had his back to me, so he didn’t notice me right away. I stood there for a moment, just watching him direct and take control. He knew exactly what do with everything, and I couldn’t help but admire him for it.
“Princess.” Finn caught sight of me when he glanced over his shoulder, then he turned fully to me with a smile. An aide asked him something, and he gestured vaguely to the dining hall before walking over to me. “How did this morning go?”
I shrugged. “It could’ve been worse.”
“That doesn’t sound promising.” He raised an eyebrow. “But I suppose you’ve earned a bit of a reprieve.”
“A reprieve?” It was my turn to look skeptical.
“Yeah, I thought we’d do something fun for a while.” Finn smiled.
“Fun?” I remembered yesterday, how he’d tried to convince me his mind-numbing training had been fun. “Do you mean fun fun? Or do you mean looking at pictures for two hours fun? Or Using a Fork 101 fun?”
“Something that at least resembles actual fun,” Finn answered. “Come on.”
SEVENTEEN
jealousy
As Finn led me down a hall to the south wing, I realized that I’d never seen any of this before. When Garrett had teased Elora about this being a palace, he wasn’t kidding. There were so many places I had yet to see. It was astounding.
Finn gestured to a few rooms, pointing out the library, meeting halls where business was conducted, the opulent dining hall where we would hold the dinner on Saturday, and then, finally, the ballroom.
Pushing open the doors, which seemed to be two stories high, Finn led me into the grandest room I had ever seen. Massive and exquisite, the ceiling seemed to stretch on forever, thanks in part to the fact that the entire thing was skylight. Gold beams ran across it, holding up glittering diamond chandeliers. The floors were marble, the walls were off-white with gold detailing, and it looked every bit the ballroom from a Disney fairy tale.
The decorators had started bringing things in, and stacked chairs and tables now leaned against one of the walls. Tablecloths, candlesticks, and all sorts of decorations were piled around them. The only other thing in the room was a white grand piano sitting in the opposite corner. Otherwise the room was empty except for Finn and me.
I hated how taken I was with the splendor. I hated even more that the room was so magnificent and I looked like I did. My hair was in a messy bun, and my skirt felt far too plain. Finn wasn’t exactly dressed to the nines either, but his standard button-down shirt and dark wash jeans looked much more fitting.
“So what’s the fun part?” I asked, and my voice echoed off the walls.
“Dancing.” Finn’s lip twitched with a smile, and I groaned. “I’ve danced with you before, and I know that it needs some improvement.”
“The slow circles don’t cut it?” I grimaced.
“Unfortunately, no. A proper waltz should be enough, though. If you can master that, you’ll be set for the ball on Saturday.”
“Oh, no.” My stomach dropped as I realized something. “I’m going to have to dance with these people, aren’t I? Like strangers and old men and weird handsy boys?” Finn laughed at that, but I wanted to curl up in a ball and die.
“I could lie to you, but to be honest, those are probably the only people who will ask you to dance,” Finn admitted with a wry smirk.
“You’re enjoying this more than I’ve ever seen you enjoy anything,” I said, and that only deepened his smile. “Well, I’m glad you find this funny. Me being felt up by complete strangers and tripping all over them. What a great time.”
“It won’t be so bad.” He motioned for me to come over. “If you learn the basic steps, at least you won’t be tripping over them.”
I sighed loudly and walked over to him. Most of my trepidation about dancing with strangers melted away the instant Finn took my hand in his. It suddenly occurred to me tha
t before I had to dance with them, I got to dance with him.
After a few directions from him and a rough start by me, we were dancing. His arm was around me, strong and reassuring. He instructed me to keep my eyes locked on his so I wouldn’t get in the habit of watching my feet while I danced, but I wouldn’t have looked anywhere else anyway. His dark eyes always mesmerized me.
We were supposed to keep a certain distance between our bodies, but I found it impossible. His body nearly pressed against mine, and I delighted in the sensation. I was certain we weren’t going as fast as we should, but I didn’t care. This moment with him seemed entirely too perfect to be real.
“Right, okay.” Finn suddenly stopped and took a step away from me. Disappointed, I let my hands fall to the side. “You’ve got that down pretty well, but there’s going to be music. So you should see how you do with that.”
“Okay?” I said unsurely.
“Why don’t I play the piano, and you count out the steps yourself?” Finn had already started backing away to the piano, and I wondered what I had done wrong that made him stop so suddenly. “That might be a better way for you to learn.”
“Um, okay.” I shrugged uncertainly. “I thought I was doing fine before.”
“We weren’t going fast enough. The music will help you keep time.”
I frowned at him, wishing he would just come back and dance with me. I remembered how he once told me I was a terrible dance partner, and wondered if maybe that was the problem.
He sat down at the piano and started playing a beautiful, elaborate waltz. Of course he could play. He could do anything. I just stood there staring at him, until he directed me to start dancing.
I whirled around on the dance floor, but it definitely wasn’t as fun as it had been with him. In fact, it wasn’t really that fun at all. It might have been if I weren’t trying to figure out what I did wrong that always made Finn back away from me.
It was hard to concentrate on that, though, when Finn kept barking out corrections at me. Funny, he hadn’t noticed any of my mistakes when we had been dancing together.
“Nope, that’s it,” I panted after what felt like an eternity.
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