“No.” Tove tossed the orange up in the air as we started walking away from Elora’s study. “I’m staying here now, and I thought I should check up on you.”
“Oh, right.” I’d forgotten that Tove would be living here for a while, helping to ensure the palace was safe. “Why should you check up on me?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “You just seem . . .”
“Is my aura off-colored today?” I asked, giving him a sidelong glance.
“Yeah, actually.” He nodded. “Lately it’s been a sickly brown, almost a sulfur-yellow.”
“I don’t know what color sulfur is, and even if I did, I don’t know what that means,” I said. “You talk of auras, but you never explain them.”
“Yours is usually orange.” He held the fruit up as if to illustrate, then began tossing it from hand to hand. “It’s inspiring and compassionate. You get a purple halo when you’re around people you care about. That’s a protective and loving aura.”
“Okay?” I raised an eyebrow.
“At the meeting yesterday, when you stood up and you were fighting for something you believed in, your aura glowed gold.” Tove stopped walking, lost in thought. “It was dazzling.”
“What does gold mean?” I asked.
“I don’t know exactly.” He shook his head. “I’ve never seen it quite like that. Your mother’s tends to be gray tinged with red, but when she’s in full Queen mode, she gets flecks of gold.”
“So gold means . . . what? I’m a leader?” I asked skeptically.
“Maybe.” He shrugged again and started walking.
Tove walked downstairs, and even though I’d wanted solitude, I went with him. He proceeded to explain all he knew about auras and what each color meant.
The purpose of an aura still eluded me. Tove said it gave him clarity into another person’s character and that person’s intentions. Sometimes if the aura was really powerful, he could feel it. Yesterday at the meeting, mine had felt warm, like basking in the summer sun.
He stopped at the sitting room and flopped down in a chair by the replace. He began peeling the orange and tossing its skin into the unlit hearth. I sat on the couch nearest him and stared out the window.
Autumn was beginning to give way to an early winter, and heavy sleet beat down outside. As it fell against the glass, it sounded like it was raining pennies.
“How much do you know about the Vittra?” I asked.
“Hmm?” Tove took a bite of the orange, and he glanced at me, wiping the juice from his chin.
I rephrased the question. “Do you know much about the Vittra?”
“Some.” He held out an orange slice to me. “Want some?”
“No, thanks.” I shook my head. “How much is ‘some’?”
“I meant like a slice or two, but you can have the rest if you really want.” He extended the orange to me, but I politely waved him off.
“No, I meant tell me what you know about the Vittra,” I said.
“That’s too vague.” Tove took another bite, then grimaced and tossed the remainder of it into the replace. He rubbed his hands on his pants, drying the juice from them, and looked about the room.
He seemed distracted today, and I wondered if the palace was too much for him. Too many people with too many thoughts trapped in one space. He normally only visited fora few hours at a time.
“Do you know why the Vittra and the Trylle are fighting?” I asked.
“No.” He shook his head. “I think it’s about a girl, though.”
“Really?” I asked.
“Isn’t it always?” He sighed and got up. He went over to the mantel and pushed around the few ivory and wood figurines that rested on it. Sometimes he used his fingers, sometimes he used his mind to move them. “I heard once that Helen of Troy was Trylle.”
“I thought Helen of Troy was a myth,” I said.
“And so are trolls.” He picked up a figurine depicting an ivory swan intertwined with wooden ivy, and he touched it delicately, as if afraid of damaging the intricate design. “Who’s to say what’s real or not?”
“Then, what? Troy and Vittra are the same thing? Or what are you saying here?”
“I don’t know.” Tove shrugged and put the figurine back on the mantel. “I don’t put much stock in Greek mythology.”
“Great.” I leaned on the couch. “What do you know?”
“I know that their King is your father.” He paced the room, looking around at everything while looking at nothing. “And he’s ruthless, so he won’t stop until he gets you.”
“You knew he was my father?” I asked, gaping at him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It wasn’t my place.” He looked out the window at the sleet. He went right up to it and pressed his palm to the glass, so it left a steamy print from the warmth of his skin.
“You should’ve told me,” I insisted.
“They won’t kill him,” Tove said absently. He leaned forward, breathing on the glass and fogging it up.
“Who?” I asked.
“Loki. The Markis.” He traced a design in the fog, then rubbed it away with his elbow.
“Elora says she’s going to try to—”
“No, they can’t kill him,” Tove assured me and turned to face me. “Your mother is the only one powerful enough to hold him, aside from me and you.”
“Wait, wait.” I held up my hand. “What do you mean, nobody’s strong enough to hold him? I saw the guards contain him in the hall when he was captured. Duncan even helped bring him down.”
“No, Vittra work differently from us.” Tove shook his head and sat down on the opposite end of the couch. “Our abilities lie in here.” He tapped the side of his head. “We can move objects with our minds or control the wind.”
“Loki can knock people out with his mind, and the Vittra Queen can heal them,” I said.
“The Vittra Queen has Trylle blood in her, back a generation or two in order for her to be Queen. Loki has our blood, actually. His father used to be Trylle.”
“Now he’s Vittra?” I asked, remembering what Elora had said about knowing Loki’s father.
“He was for a while. Now he’s dead,” Tove said matter-of-factly. “What? Why?” I asked.
“Treason.” Tove leaned forward, and using his mind, he lifted a vase up off a nearby table. I wanted to snap at him and tell him to pay attention, but I knew that was actually what he was trying to do.
“We killed him?” I asked.
“No. I believe he tried to defect back to Förening.” He bit his lip, concentrating as the vase floated in the air. “The Vittra killed him.”
“Oh, my gosh.” I leaned back on the couch. “Why would Loki support the Vittra still?”
“I don’t know Loki, nor did I know his father.” The vase floated down, landing gently on the table. “I can’t tell you their reasoning for anything.”
“How do you know this stuff?” I asked.
“You would know it too, if it weren’t for the state of things.” Tove exhaled deeply, seeming calmer after moving the vase. “It’s part of the training you’d be undergoing now, learning our history. But because of the attacks, it’s more important that you be prepared for battle.”
“How do Vittra powers differ?” I asked, returning to the topic.
“Strength.” He flexed his arm to demonstrate. “Physically, they’re unmatched. Even their minds are more impenetrable, which makes it harder for people like you and Elora to control them. It even makes it more difficult for me to move them. And like us, the more powerful the Vittra, the higher the ranking, so a Markis like Loki is awfully strong.”
“But you threw Loki like he was nothing at the Vittra palace,” I reminded him.
“I’ve been thinking about that.” His brow furrowed in confusion. “I think he let me.”
“What do you mean? Why?”
“I don’t know.” Tove shook his head. “Loki let me subdue him then, and he let them capture him here. Elora’s power over him is real
, but the other guards . . .” He shook his head. “They don’t stand a chance against him.”
“Why would he do that?” I asked.
“I have no idea,” Tove admitted. “But he’s much stronger than all of us. Elora wouldn’t be able to hold him long enough for them to kill him.”
“Could you?” I asked tentatively.
“I believe so.” He nodded. “I mean, I’m capable, but I wouldn’t do it.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“I don’t think we should. He hasn’t done anything to hurt us, not really, and I want to see what he’s up to.” He shrugged, then glanced over at me. “And you don’t want me to.”
“You would go against Elora’s wishes if I asked you to?” I asked, and he nodded. “Why? Why would you do something for me and not her?”
“My loyalty lies with you, Princess.” Tove smiled. “I trust you, and other Trylle will learn to trust you, once they see what you can do.”
“What can I do?” I asked, feeling oddly touched by Tove’s admission.
“Lead us to peace,” he said, with so much conviction, I didn’t want to argue with him.
SEVENTEEN
numb
After hearing what Tove had to say about Loki, I wanted to talk to him. He hadn’t been very forthcoming with me, but I had to know why he’d come here. What did he hope to gain from breaking into the Trylle palace alone?
But, much to my disappointment, Loki’s guards had gotten stricter.
Word of my talk with him had gotten out, and the guards decided they needed to work twice as hard to keep me away from him. Duncan had gotten his butt chewed for letting me see Loki at all, and when he finally returned to fulfill his duty as bodyguard, he refused to let me go near the prisoner.
I could’ve used persuasion on Duncan, but I’d already screwed with his brain enough while practicing on him. I’d also sworn off using persuasion on anyone, though I hadn’t told Tove about it.
Besides, it would be good for me to actually use my day off to relax. Tomorrow, I’d go back to training, and I could try to see Loki after that. I was sure I could find a way around the guards without using persuasion on anybody.
I didn’t spend much time by myself, though. Duncan escorted me to my room, and I’d barely been in it for five minutes when Rhys got home from school. He made a pizza and invited me over to his room for bad movies and relaxation with him, Matt, and Willa.
Since I felt like I hadn’t been spending enough time with any of them, I agreed and made Duncan tag along. I sat on the couch and made sure to keep a safe distance from Rhys, but I didn’t have to try that hard because Matt was chaperoning.
Although Matt seemed to be letting his big-brother duties slide. He seemed preoccupied with Willa, teasing her and laughing with her. She surprised me more than anybody, though. She actually ate the pizza. Even I wouldn’t eat pizza, but Willa ate it with a smile.
Unlike the last time I watched movies in Rhys’s room, I made sure to leave before I fell asleep. I excused myself while everybody was in the middle of watching The Evil Dead.
On my way to my room, I saw Finn making his rounds. I said hello to him, but he wouldn’t even nod or acknowledge my presence. Duncan apologized on Finn’s behalf, which only made me angrier. Finn shouldn’t need other trackers to make me feel better.
The next morning, Tove woke me bright and early. With him living in the palace, he no longer had to commute here. It felt way too early to get up, but Tove’s insomnia had gotten worse since moving to the palace, so I didn’t complain.
After I got ready, we spent a long day training. We went to the kitchen, which was ordinarily deserted, but with all the guards and people in the palace, the cook was on full time. Much to the chef’s dismay, Tove had me practicing on moving pots and pans.
I was hoping for something like The Sword in the Stone, with all the dancing dishes, but it didn’t work out that way. I did get a couple cast-iron pans to oat, and I nearly took off Duncan’s head when I flung a saucepan across the room using only my mind.
Part of me was ecstatic that I’d finally gotten stuff to move. Tove thought it had something to do with me slamming the door when Elora was hurting Loki. It had unlocked whatever had been preventing me from harnessing my potential.
The part of me that was thrilled was eventually drowned out by the part of me that was exhausted. By the time we finished, I’d never felt so drained in all my life. Duncan offered to help me up the stairs to my room, and while I could’ve used it, I refused to let him. I had to learn to master this stuff on my own.
I didn’t want people like Duncan and Finn, and even Tove, risking their lives to protect me. Or even if they weren’t risking their lives, I didn’t want to need them. I was stronger than the rest of them, and I had to take care of myself.
I knew I couldn’t master everything overnight, but I’d work as hard as I needed to until I was as strong as everyone believed I could be.
After a long stretch of training, I took a short break, and then we had a defense meeting. Tove, Duncan, and I went, along with a few select guards, and Elora. Both Finn and his father Thomas were already in the room when we arrived. I said hello to them, and while Thomas responded, Finn ignored me. Again.
The meeting didn’t amount to much. Elora filled us in on what was happening. No more Vittra had broken in. Loki hadn’t escaped. She went over the guard shifts with the trackers. I wanted to ask about her plan to barter with the Vittra over Loki, but Elora shot me a warning gaze, and I knew now wasn’t the time to bring it up.
When the meeting ended, I wanted to head to my room, take a long hot shower, and go to sleep. Just before I hopped in the shower, I realized I was out of body wash and went to the hall closet for more.
My brain felt numb and seemed to be short-circuiting. For some reason, I could barely feel my extremities, like my fingers and toes. A migraine pulsed at the base of my skull, and the vision in my left eye was a little blurry.
Training today had been harder on me than I had allowed myself to admit. Tove offered several times to take a break, but I’d refused, and it was catching up with me now.
I think that’s why I lost it when Finn walked past me again without saying hello. I’d walked down the hall, wrapped in my robe, to get the body wash, and Finn happened to be making his rounds once again. He walked by, I said hello, and he wouldn’t even nod or smile at me.
And that was it. That was the final straw.
“What the hell, Finn?” I shouted, whirling on him. He stopped, but only because I’d startled him. He looked at me, blinking and slack-jawed. I don’t think I’d ever seen him look so caught off-guard before. “Of course you won’t say anything. Just stare blankly at me like you always do.”
“I–I—” Finn stammered, and I shook my head.
“No, really, Finn.” I held up my hand to stop him. “If you can’t be bothered to even acknowledge my existence, you shouldn’t start now.”
“Wendy.” He sighed, sounding exasperated. “I’m simply doing my job—”
“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes. “Where exactly in your job description does it say be a dick to the Princess and ignore her? Is that in there somewhere?”
“I am merely doing my best to protect you, and you know it.”
“I get that we can’t be together. And it’s not like I’m so weak-willed that the simple act of saying hello to me will cause me to jump your bones in the hall.” I slammed the closet door. “There is absolutely no reason for you to be so rude to me.”
“I’m not.” Finn’s expression softened, looking pained and confused. “I . . .” He lowered his gaze to the floor. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to act around you.”
“Why would you think that ignoring me would be the best way to go?” I asked, and to my own surprise, tears brimmed in my eyes.
“This is why I didn’t want to be here.” He shook his head. “I begged the Queen to let me go—”
“You begged her?” I asked,
and that was too much.
Finn did not beg. He had too much pride and honor to beg for anything. And yet he’d wanted to be away from me so badly, he’d resorted to begging.
“Yes!” He gestured to me. “Look at you! Look at what I’m doing to you!”
“So you know that you’re doing it?” I asked. “You know and you’re doing it anyway?”
“I have so few options, Wendy!” Finn shouted. “What do you want me to do? Tell me what it is you think I should do.”
“I don’t want anything from you anymore,” I admitted, and I walked away.
“Wendy!” Finn called after me, but I shook my head and kept going.
“I’m too tired for this, Finn,” I muttered and went into my room.
As soon as I closed the door, I leaned against it and started to cry. I don’t even really know why, though. It wasn’t that I missed Finn. It was as if I couldn’t control my emotions. They just poured out of me in epic sobs.
I collapsed in bed and decided the only cure for this was sleeping.
EIGHTEEN
secrets
It took Duncan twenty minutes to wake me up the next morning, or so he told me later. He tried knocking first, but I didn’t hear that at all. When he moved on to shaking me, it still didn’t wake me. He’d been convinced I was dead until Tove showed up and splashed cold water in my face.
“What the hell?” I shouted, sitting up.
Water dripped down my face, and I blinked it away to see both Tove and Duncan holding their heads. My heart pounded in my chest, and I pushed my hair out of my eyes.
“You did it again, Princess,” Tove said, rubbing his temple.
“What?” I asked. “What’s going on?”
“That brain-slap thing you do.” Tove grimaced, but Duncan had already dropped his hand. “We scared you into waking up, so you lashed out in your sleep. But it’s fading now.”
“Sorry.” I got out of bed in my drenched pajamas. “That doesn’t explain the water, though.”
“You wouldn’t wake up.” Duncan explained what had happened with wide, nervous eyes. “I was afraid you were dead.”
Trylle Page 40