I knew that we needed to use our powers to keep from going crazy, and with Tove especially, draining his abilities was the only thing that kept him sane. But it made me nervous. I didn’t want him to end up like my mother, dying of old age before he was even forty.
When we’d finished practicing, I felt tired, but in a pleasant way. I was becoming stronger and more self-reliant, and I liked that.
Elora was still in her drawing room, recuperating, so I went down to see her. She’d gotten off the chaise, which was a good sign, but she’d taken to painting again.
She sat on a stool facing the windows, an easel in front of her. The shawl wrapped around her had slipped off one shoulder, but she didn’t seem to notice. Her long hair hung down her back, shimmering silver now more than black.
“Are you sure you should be doing that?” I asked as I came into her room.
“I’ve had a terrible migraine for days, and I need to get rid of it.” She made a sweeping stroke across the canvas.
I walked up behind her so I could get a better look at it, but so far it was only dark blue sky. Elora stopped painting and set her brush down on the easel.
“Is there something you needed from me, Princess?” Elora swiveled around to face me, and I was relieved to see that the milkiness had vanished from her eyes.
“No.” I shook my head. “I just wanted to see how you’re doing.”
“Better,” she said with a heavy sigh. “I will never be quite the same again, but I’m better.”
“Better is something.”
“Yes, I suppose it is.” She turned to the window and the overcast day.
The sleet and wind had finally let up, but the skies remained gray and murky. The maples and elms had given up most of their leaves and stood dead and barren for winter. The evergreens that populated the bluff looked brittle after the beating they’d taken lately, and ice clung to their branches, weighing them down.
“Tove asked me to marry him,” I told her, and she whipped her head to face me. “And I agreed.”
“You’ve accepted the arrangement?” Elora raised her eyebrow, in wonder and approval.
“Yes.” I nodded. “It’s . . . it’s what’s best for the kingdom, so that’s what I must do.” I nodded again, to convince myself. “And Tove is a good guy. He’ll make a good husband.”
Immediately after I’d said it I realized that I had no idea what would make a good husband. I’d spent almost no time around married couples, and I’d never had a boyfriend. I didn’t know what category Finn and I fell into, but it couldn’t count for much.
Elora was still watching me, so I gulped and forced a smile. Now wasn’t the time to worry about what I’d agreed to. I had time to learn what it meant to be a wife before we were wed.
“Yes, I am certain he will,” Elora murmured and turned to her painting.
“Are you really?” I asked.
“Yes,” she said, with her back still to me. “I won’t do to you what was done to me. If I thought you needed to do something terrible, that it was in the best interest of the Trylle, I would still ask it of you. It would still be your duty, but I would tell you exactly what you were doing. I’d never let you go in blind.”
“Thank you,” I said, meaning it. “Do you regret marrying my father?”
“I try not to have any regrets,” Elora said wearily and picked up her paintbrush. “It’s unbecoming of a Queen to have misgivings.”
“How come you never married again?” I asked.
“Who would I marry?”
I nearly said Thomas, but that would only enrage her. She couldn’t have married him. He was a tracker, and he was already married. But that wasn’t where her anger would come from. I was sure she’d be incensed that I had learned of the affair.
“Garrett?” I asked, and Elora made a noise that sounded like a laugh. “He loves you, and he’s a distinguished Markis. He’s eligible.”
“He’s not that distinguished,” she said. “He is kind, yes, but marriage isn’t about that. I told you before, Princess, that love has nothing to do with marriage. It’s an alignment between two parties, and I have not had any reason to align myself with anyone else.”
“You don’t want to marry for the sake of doing it?” I asked. “Don’t you ever get lonely?”
“A Queen is many things, but alone is never one of them.” She held the brush, poised right above the canvas as if she meant to paint, but she didn’t. “I don’t need love or a man to complete me, and someday you’ll find that’s true for yourself. Suitors will come and go, but you will remain.”
I stared out the window, unsure of what to say to that. There was something noble and dignified in that idea, but something about it felt a bit tragic. Believing that I would end up alone, that I would die alone, was never comforting.
“Besides that, I didn’t want Willa in line for the crown,” Elora said and began painting again. “That is what would’ve happened if I’d married Garrett. She would’ve become a Princess, a viable option for the throne, and I could never have that.”
“Willa wouldn’t be a bad Queen,” I said, and I was astonished to find that I actually did think that.
Willa had really grown on me since I’d been here, and I think she’d grown up as well. She had kindness and insight I’d initially thought her incapable of.
“Nevertheless, she won’t be Queen. You will.”
“Not for a long time, hopefully.” I sighed.
“You need to be ready, Princess.” She looked over her shoulder at me. “You must be prepared for it.”
“I am trying,” I assured her. “I’ve been training and going to all the meetings. I’ve even been studying in the library. But I still don’t feel like I’ll be ready to be a real Queen for years.”
“You don’t have years,” Elora told me.
“What do you mean?” I asked. “When will I be Queen? How long do I have?”
“Do you see that painting?” Elora gestured to a canvas I’d seen in her room before, resting against a shelf.
A close-up of me looking much as I did now, except wearing a white gown. On my head, I had an ornate platinum crown filled with diamonds.
“So?” I asked. “I’ll be Queen someday. We both know that.”
“No, look at that picture.” She pointed at it with the handle of her brush. “Look at your face. How old are you?”
“I’m . . .” I squinted and crouched in front of it. I couldn’t be sure exactly, but I didn’t look a day older than I did now. “I don’t know.” I stood up. “I could be twenty-five, for all I know.”
“Perhaps,” Elora allowed, “but that’s not the feeling I get.”
“What is the feeling you get?” I asked. She turned her back to me, not giving anything away. “How do I become Queen anyway?”
“You become Queen when the reigning monarchs are deceased,” Elora said matter-of-factly.
“You mean I’ll be Queen after you die?” I asked, and my heart thudded in my chest.
“Yes.”
“So you think . . .” I had to take a fortifying breath before I could continue. “You’re dying soon.”
“Yes.” She painted on, as if I’d just asked her about the weather instead of her impending death.
“But . . .” I shook my head. “I’m not ready. You haven’t taught me everything I need to know!”
“That is why I have been pushing you, Princess. I knew we didn’t have much time, and I needed to be hard on you. I had to be sure you could do this.”
“And now you’re sure?” I asked.
“Yes.” She faced me again. “Don’t panic, Princess. You must never panic, no matter what obstacle you face.”
“I’m not panicking,” I lied. My heart wanted to race out of my chest, and I felt light-headed. I sat on the couch behind me.
“I’m not dying tomorrow,” Elora said, sounding slightly annoyed. “You have more time to learn, but you need to focus on all your training. You need to listen carefully to e
verything I say, and do as you’re told.”
“It’s not that.” I shook my head and stared at her. “I only just met you, and we’ve finally started getting along, and now you’re dying?”
“Don’t get sentimental, Princess,” Elora chastised me. “That we do not have time for.”
“Aren’t you sad?” I asked, tears stinging my eyes. “Or scared?”
“Princess, really.” She rolled her eyes and turned away from me. “I have painting to do. I suggest you go to your room and compose yourself. A Princess must never be seen crying.”
I left her alone to finish her painting. The one consolation I had was that Elora said a Princess must never be seen crying, not that I must never cry. I wondered if that was why she had me leave. Not so I could cry, but so she could.
TWENTY-FOUR
tryllic
If Loki had already known about my arranged marriage, it was only a matter of time before everybody else found out. I thought it would be better if my friends learned about it from me, so I gathered them all together.
Willa and Duncan would probably be excited, but I didn’t know how Matt or Rhys would take it. Probably not quite as well.
We met in the upstairs living room, which had been Rhys’s old playroom. The ceiling had a cloud mural on it, and there were still old toys stacked up on shelves in the corner. Matt sat between Rhys and Willa on the sofa, and Duncan sat on the floor with his back against the couch.
“I have something to tell you all.” I stood in front of them, twirling my thumb ring, and swallowed back my nerves.
The suspicious look Matt gave me wasn’t helping matters. On top of that, Rhys grinned like an excited fool. He’d been so happy when I invited him here, since we’d hardly seen each other lately. He’d been busy doing stuff with Matt, and I’d heard that he’d started dating Rhiannon.
“What is it?” Matt asked, his voice already hard.
“It’s good news,” I insisted.
“Spit it out, then,” Willa said with a confused smile. “You’ve been killing me with suspense.” She’d tried getting it out of me before everybody had arrived, but I wanted to tell them all at once.
“I wanted you all to know that I, um . . .” I cleared my throat. “I’m getting married.”
“What?” Matt growled.
“Oh, my gosh!” Willa gasped, her eyes glittering. “To who?”
“So it’s true?” Duncan gaped at me. Apparently he’d heard the rumor too.
“To Tove Kroner,” I said.
Willa squealed and clapped her hands over her mouth. I didn’t think she could’ve been more excited if she was the one getting married to Tove.
“Tove?” Matt asked, looking unsure. “That guy’s a spaz, and I didn’t even think you really liked him.”
“No, I like him,” I said. “He’s a good guy.”
“Oh, my gosh, Wendy!” Willa yelled and jumped off the couch, nearly kicking Duncan in the head. She ran over and hugged me enthusiastically. “This is so exciting! I am so happy for you!”
“Yeah, congratulations.” Rhys nodded. “He’s a lucky guy.”
“I can’t believe you guys didn’t tell me,” Duncan said. “I was with you both this morning.”
“Well, we hadn’t really told people yet.” I untangled myself from Willa’s embrace. “I’m not sure if we’re supposed to tell people, but I thought you should know.”
“But I don’t understand.” Matt stood up, clearly disturbed by the news. “I thought you were all hung up on that Finn guy.”
“Nope.” I shook my head and lowered my eyes. “I’m not hung up on anybody.” I let out a deep breath. “That’s all behind me.”
I was surprised to find that that might be true. I wasn’t over Finn exactly, but I had begun to realize that we would never be together. And it wasn’t because of our social standings anymore. That I could fight with, argue against, try to legislate.
But Finn’s unwillingness to ever try or give me credit or make any effort at all to be with me had left me exhausted. I couldn’t be in love by myself.
“Your wedding is going to be so fabulous!” Willa held her hands together in front of her chest to keep from hugging me again. “When is the big day?”
“I don’t know exactly,” I admitted. “After I turn eighteen.”
“That’s less than three months away!” Matt shouted.
“We hardly have any time to plan!” Willa paled. “We have so much to do!” Then she grimaced. “Oh, Aurora’s gonna have her hand in all of it, isn’t she?”
“Oh. Yeah.” I scowled too when I realized that I was going to have the mother-in-law from hell. “I guess she is.”
“I’m so glad I’m a guy and I don’t have to plan any of these things,” Rhys said with a lopsided grin.
“The planning is the best part,” Willa insisted and looped an arm around my shoulder. “Picking out the colors and dresses and flowers and invitations! That’s the funnest!”
“Wendy, are you really okay with this?” Matt asked, looking at me directly.
“Of course she is, Matt,” Willa said with an exaggerated eye roll. “This is every little girl’s dream. To be a Princess and marry a Prince in a big grand wedding.”
“Technically, Tove’s a Markis and not a Prince,” I pointed out.
“You know what I meant,” Willa said. “It’s a fairy tale come true.”
“Willa, stop for a second.” Matt’s icy stare rested on her, and she shrank back, retracting her arm from my shoulders. He turned to me. “Wendy, is this really what you want? To marry this guy?”
I took a deep breath and nodded. “Yes. This is what I want.”
“Okay,” Matt said reluctantly. “If this is what you want, then I’ll support you on it. But if he hurts you, I will kill him.”
“I wouldn’t expect any less from you.” I smiled. “But I’ll be all right.”
Willa continued her excited prattling, telling me all the amazing things we had to plan, but I tuned her out. Rhys and Matt didn’t really want or need to hear all of that, so they escaped to do something vastly more fun. Duncan was my bodyguard, so he couldn’t leave, but he was actually more involved in Willa’s conversation than I was.
Eventually, she exhausted herself. She said she would go home and get a few things, so she could come back bright and early in the morning to plan. We left the room with her listing everything she would bring with her.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Willa squeezed my arm.
“Yeah.”
“This is exciting, Wendy,” she reminded me. “Act like it.”
“I’ll try.” I forced a smile.
She laughed at my weak attempt as she departed. I leaned against the wall outside the living room door. Duncan was next to me, but he didn’t say anything.
Willa was right. This whole thing was like a fairy tale. So why didn’t it feel like one?
I glanced down the hall and saw Finn, doing his evening rounds. He was walking toward me to inspect the north wing, but when he saw me, he stopped. His dark eyes rested on mine for a moment, then he turned and walked in the other direction.
I woke up the next day excited to train and get my mind off the engagement, but I’d only been awake for ten minutes before Aurora burst in. She arrived even before Willa did and stole the whole thing from her. Willa was not happy about it when she found out, but she did her best to be polite around Aurora.
We met in the grand dining room because Aurora had so many papers she wanted to spread out all over the long table. She had guest lists and seating charts and color swatches and fabric material and magazines and dress designs and books and everything anyone would ever need for a wedding.
“We need to have the engagement party this weekend, obviously, since the wedding is only a few months away,” Aurora said, tapping a calendar on the table.
I sat in a chair at the head of the table with Aurora standing on one side and Willa on the other. Aurora bent over the table, her gre
en dress owing around her. Willa had her arms crossed over her chest, and she glared down at Aurora.
“Before the engagement party, we need to have your color scheme and have the bridal party picked out already,” Aurora said.
“That’s too soon.” Willa shook her head. “There’s no way we can have all that ready, plus plan a party. It’s only a few days away.”
“We need to get the wedding invitations out as soon as possible. We will hand them out at the engagement party,” Aurora said. “When is your birthday, Princess?”
“Uh, the ninth of January,” I said.
“Why do we have to hand out the invites?” Willa asked. “Why can’t we mail them like normal people?”
“Because we’re not normal people.” Aurora shot her a glare. “We’re Trylle, and we’re royalty. It’s customary that we hand out the invitations at the engagement party.”
“Fine, but if we have to do that, we should wait at least another week for the party,” Willa said.
“I’m not going to argue with you about this.” Aurora straightened up and rubbed her forehead. “As the mother of the groom, I’m throwing the engagement party. It’s none of your concern. I’ll plan it and set it up whenever I feel is best.”
“Fine.” Willa held up her hands like she didn’t care, but I could tell she still was irritated. “You do what you want. That is your right.”
“Let’s work on the wedding for now.” Aurora looked down at me. “Who did you want in your wedding party?”
“Um . . .” I shrugged. “Willa should be my maid of honor, obviously.”
“Thank you.” Willa gave Aurora a smug smile.
“Of course.” Aurora smiled thinly at her and scribbled down Willa’s name on a piece of paper. “What about the rest of your party?”
“I don’t know.” I shook my head. “I don’t really know that many people here.”
“Excellent. I’ve compiled a list for you.” Aurora grabbed a three-page list from off the table and handed it to me. “Here are upstanding eligible young Marksinna that would make perfect bridesmaids.”
“This is just their names and a few random facts,” I said, looking over the list. “Kenna Tomas has black hair, freckles, and her father is the Markis of Oslinna. That means nothing to me. I’m supposed to pick strangers off a list based on their hair color?”
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