“Here I am married to another man because you wouldn’t fight for me,” I said, cutting him off. “I did love you, Finn. And I still care about you. I always will. You are good and strong, and you did the best you could by me. But . . . you never really wanted to be with me.”
“What are you talking about?” Finn asked. “I wanted nothing more than to be with you! But I couldn’t!”
“That’s it right there, Finn!” I gestured to him. “You couldn’t. We can’t. I mustn’t. You always took everything at face value, and you never even tried.”
“I never tried?” Finn asked. “How can you even say that?”
“Because you didn’t.” I ran my hands through my hair and shook my head. “You never fought for me. I fought so hard for you. I was willing to give up everything to be with you. But you gave up nothing. You wouldn’t even let me give up anything.”
“How is that a bad thing?” Finn asked. “I only wanted what was best for you.”
“I know that, but you’re not my father, Finn. You were supposed to be my . . .” I trailed off. “I don’t know what. You were never my boyfriend. You refused to be anything more to me, unless you saw me interested in another guy.”
“I was only trying to protect you!” Finn insisted.
“That doesn’t change anything.” I took a deep breath. “I have been fighting to change things around here, to make the kingdom better for trackers and all the Trylle. And you have been fighting to keep things the same. You are content to live in this ridiculous hierarchy.”
“I am not content,” he said fiercely.
“But you’re not doing anything to change it! You’re just taking it, and that I could live with. You’re willing to simply accept your fate. But you expected me to do the same, and that I can’t stomach, Finn. I want more. I need more.”
“And you think Loki will give that to you?” Finn asked, and most of the sarcasm had fallen away from his voice. He actually wanted to know if I thought Loki was good for me.
“Yes, he will.”
“And how does your husband feel about all of this?” Finn asked.
“I don’t know exactly,” I said, which was true. Tove seemed to actually know more about the way Loki and I felt about each other than we did, but I wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about it. “But once everything is settled with the Vittra, Tove and I are getting our marriage annulled.”
“You’re leaving him for Loki?” Finn asked, his voice astonished.
“No, actually,” I said. “Tove is leaving me. He wants to share his life with someone he actually loves, and that’s not me.”
His whole body slacked, and he stared at the floor. Finn ran a hand through his hair, and I realized that I would never again run my fingers through his hair. Whatever had happened between Finn and me, it was over. He was no longer mine. And for the first time, I was okay with that.
“I’m sorry,” Finn said quietly.
“Pardon?” I asked, thinking I’d heard him wrong.
“You’re right, and I’m sorry.” He looked up at me, his eyes stormy. “I never fought for you. If anything, I fought to uphold a system that kept me from you. And . . . I am sorry for that.” He swallowed. “I will always regret that.”
“I’m sorry too.” I bit my lip to keep tears from falling.
“But . . .” Finn sighed and looked away from me again. “At least he does love you.”
“What?” I asked.
“Loki.” He said his name bitterly and shook his head. “At first I thought it was a trick, but I’ve been around him enough now and heard him talk about you.” Finn shifted his weight, seeming uncomfortable with the conversation. “And he does love you.”
He nodded his head, but I wasn’t sure why. He let out a shaky breath, and I think he was trying not to cry.
“So . . . I guess I can live with that.” He rubbed his forehead.
I stepped over to him and put my hand on his arm, attempting to comfort him in some way. We were so close to each other, but I didn’t feel that pull the way I did before. When he lifted his head, I smiled weakly at him.
“This really is for the best,” I said. “Me and you never would’ve worked out anyway. You need someone that you can protect and shelter. And I need someone to push me to take risks, so I can pull this kingdom forward.”
“There is more truth in that than I’m ready to admit,” he agreed.
I swallowed, realizing something I’d never realized before. “I never could’ve really made you happy. I would’ve fought you at everything, frustrated by your attempts to keep me safe and hold me back. We would’ve made each other miserable.”
“Had we ever really had a chance to be together.” He exhaled again.
“I’m sorry,” I told him again.
Finn shook his head. “Don’t be. You’re right. This is the best for both of us. And . . .” He paused. “As long as you’re happy.”
“I am.” I smiled. “And you’ll be much happier without me than you ever would’ve been with me.”
He nodded, but I wasn’t sure if he really believed it or not. “But if you’ll excuse me, I should go down to finish getting ready to leave.”
“Right, of course. I have much to do myself.”
Finn smiled at me once before he left, and as soon as he was gone, I let out a deep breath. I can’t say I felt good about ending things with Finn. It was more bittersweet than that. But I did feel better knowing that he finally knew the truth. Things between us were truly over—for both of us—and I could move on with my life. Assuming I still had a life to move on with after tonight.
TWENTY-THREE
time
Throughout the long drive to Ondarike, we said hardly anything. I rode with Tove, Loki, Duncan, and Willa, and the fear was almost palpable. I had no idea if we were doing the right thing. I had sounded so confident when I talked to them, but that was because this was the best I could come up with.
Before we left, I’d gone over the plan of attack with the heads of the teams. Loki thought it would be best to break up our army into several smaller teams that would sneak into different places in the Vittra palace.
Around two hundred trackers had joined our army, and most of the Trylle from Oslinna. Mia had tried to come along, but Finn had convinced her it would be better for her to stay behind and care for her baby, which I was grateful for. I didn’t want Hanna to end up an orphan.
Maybe two or three dozen Markis and Marksinna had come along, including Marksinna Laris. I promised myself to be nicer to her when we got back to Förening. If we got back.
A few mänks had even volunteered. I’d sent Rhys and Rhiannon away this morning, and I tried to send Matt away, but he refused to leave Förening. Matt had even wanted to fight with us, but I’d convinced him that he would only distract Willa and me, and he agreed to stay behind.
Willa would be leading her own team of twenty trackers and two Markis. They would be going in a side door off the kitchen, and Loki thought there would be hobgoblins in there getting a midnight snack. But Willa could blow around the pots and pans, and Markis Bain could control water, so maybe he could flood the place.
Finn and Thomas led two different teams, but they would be doing about the same things. They were coming up through the dungeon. Loki had escaped through a section of the cellar that connected with the dungeon. The cellar sprawled beneath the whole palace like a long maze, and through its long tunnels, Finn, Thomas, and their teams would be able to sneak up and deflect a lot of hobgoblins.
Tove had volunteered for the most dangerous mission. Bain had tried to go along with him, but Tove had insisted Bain go on Willa’s team. Tove would go through the front doors, leading a team of fifty trackers. His objective was to make noise and alert the hobgoblins that he was there. That way, the other teams could sneak up behind the hobgoblins while they were busy trying to ward off Tove and his team.
Duncan had wanted to be on Tove’s team, but I reassigned him to Willa’s team. So far, her
s sounded about the safest. Not that any of this was really safe.
Loki’s job was to get me into the palace and lead me to Oren, and then he would go help Tove fight. He wasn’t thrilled about the idea, but he knew that I had to do this, and I had to do it on my own.
In the long history of the Trylle, we had never attacked. No matter how provoked we might be. This was the one thing Oren would never expect, and it might give us enough of an advantage to stop him.
Loki knew the palace best, so he drove our SUV and led the rest of the Trylle. We had a caravan of Cadillacs that we drove to Ondarike. When we got near the palace, he cut the headlights, and the cars behind us did the same. He parked at the bottom of the hill, so we were hidden behind the forest of dead wood, and that was as close to the palace as he felt comfortable.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Loki asked me quietly after we got out of the car.
“Yes,” I said. “Are you?”
“Not as much as I’d like,” he admitted.
“Just get me to Oren.”
I looked back behind me, at all the other Trylle getting out of their cars. Finn was already directing a few of them up the hill, telling them how to get inside. Loki had gone over detailed maps with the team leaders before we left, but we hadn’t had enough time to show all the Trylle.
“Everybody knows what to do?” I asked and looked over at Willa, Tove, and Duncan.
“Yeah, we’ll be okay.” Willa reached out and squeezed my arm. “Just stay safe.”
“We got it,” Duncan said, flashing a nervous smile.
“Don’t be a hero,” I told him sternly. “Protect yourself.”
“Take care of her,” Tove said to Loki.
“I’ll do my best,” Loki said.
Most everyone else had started up the hill, with Loki and me going in an entrance on the far side of the palace, away from them. We were going a different route, sneaking around the hobgoblins and going directly to the King.
We went through the trees, slipping through snow and branches cracking under our feet. When we reached the palace, Loki led me to a small wooden door almost completely buried under vines. The vines looked brown and dead, but they were covered with sharp thorns that cut Loki’s hand when he pushed them back.
He opened the door, then slid inside, and I followed. We stepped into a narrow, dimly lit hall. The floors were covered with red velvet carpets, and they helped silence our footsteps. As he led me through the back halls of the palace, I heard banging and yelling from far away. The fighting had started.
I jumped when something slammed into the wall right next to us, leaving a large crack in the wood.
“What’s on the other side of that wall?” I asked, pointing to the crack.
“The front hall.” Loki took my hand and looked at me. “If you want to do this, we need to hurry. He’s going to hear the fighting.”
I nodded, and we walked faster. The back hallways turned and twisted a few times before we came across a very constricted stairway. I almost had to turn sideways to climb up, and the steps themselves were so thin I had to stand on my tiptoes.
At the top of the stairs was a door, and when Loki pushed it open, I knew exactly where we were. Right across from us were the doors to Oren’s chamber. Vines, fairies, and trolls were carved into the oak, depicting a fantasy scene. The hall was deserted, and the cacophony of fighting sounded farther away.
I heard a scream that sounded too much like Tove, and the entire palace shook.
“Go,” I told Loki.
“I don’t want to leave you to face the King alone.”
“No, I can do this.” I put my hand on his chest and faced him. “They need you downstairs. I can handle the King myself.”
He shook his head. “Wendy, no.”
“Loki, please. You must help them. You’re strong. They need you,” I said, but I knew that wouldn’t convince him. “I will send you flying down the hall myself, but that will drain my abilities. I don’t want to do it, but I will if I have to.”
His eyes searched mine, and I knew he didn’t want to leave me. But I couldn’t let him come with me. I wanted him safe, or at least safer than he would be around Oren. And more important, my friends needed him to help fight against the hobgoblins.
“I can do this,” I repeated. “I was born for this.”
He didn’t want to, but he finally relented. He kissed me, quickly and fiercely on the mouth.
“I will help them, and then I will be back for you,” he said.
“I know. Now go.”
He nodded and dashed down the hall. Taking a deep breath, I turned around to face the doors. I went down the hall, prepared to kill my father.
TWENTY-FOUR
beginning of the end
I pushed open the doors, and I wasn’t exactly sure what I expected, but it wasn’t this. Oren was awake, sitting on his throne. He wore black satin pants, and his robe hung open, revealing his shirtless torso, so I assumed he had been sleeping recently.
He sat casually in the chair, turned slightly to the side so one of his legs hung over the arm. His fingers were bedazzled with heavy silver rings, and he held a glass of red wine in one hand, sipping it slowly.
I glanced around the room, searching for the swords Loki had told me about. The platinum ones that could cut through anything. We had our own swords back in Förening, but Loki didn’t think any of them would be powerful enough to use on Oren. Even his flesh and bone were stronger than the average Trylle or Vittra. I’d have to use the King’s own weapons on himself.
“My child.” Oren smiled at me in that way that made the hair stand up on the back of my neck. “You’ve come home.”
“This isn’t my home,” I said, my voice as strong and sure as I could make it.
I spotted the swords, their handles glistening with diamonds from where they were mounted on the wall, and that helped give me a bit more confidence.
Oren ignored my comment. “It sounds as though you’ve brought guests.” He twirled his glass, watching the wine swirl about in it. “You’re supposed to wait until your parents go out of town to throw a party.”
I grew irritated with his attempts at humor. “I’m not throwing a party. You know why I’ve come.”
“I know why you think you’ve come,” he clarified. He stood up, and in one quick swallow drained his glass. When he’d finished, he tossed it to the side, making it shatter against the wall. “But if I were you, I would seriously reconsider.”
“Reconsider what?” I asked.
“Your plan.” Oren walked toward me in that same stealthy gait he always had. “There is still time to follow through on the terms we agreed to. There is still time to save yourself and your friends, but not much.
“I’m not a patient man,” he said, walking around me in a large circle. “If you weren’t my daughter, you would already be dead. I have given you more than I’ve given anyone else. And it’s time you show me some gratitude.”
“Gratitude?” I asked. “For what? Kidnapping me? Killing my people? Overtaking my kingdom?”
“For letting you live,” he said, his gravelly voice behind me, right in my ear, and I didn’t know how he got that close to me so fast.
“I can say the same thing about you,” I said, surprised by how even my voice sounded. “I’ve let you live thus far, and I will let you continue to live. If you call this off. Let us go. Leave us alone. Forever.”
“Why would I do that?” Oren laughed.
“If you don’t, I will have no other choice,” I said as he strolled back in front of me, facing me as I spoke. “I will kill you.”
“Have you forgotten our deal?” Oren asked, a twisted smile on his lips and something dark sparkling in his eyes. “Have you forgotten what you agreed to when you gave me your kingdom?”
“No, I haven’t forgotten.”
“You’ve merely decided to back out on it?” he asked, smiling wider. “Knowing what it would cost you.”
“It w
ill cost me nothing,” I said firmly. “I will defeat you.”
“Maybe you will.” Oren seemed to consider this for a moment. “But not until you lose everything.”
“Is that your answer, then?” I asked.
“You mean will I give up, let you and all your friends live happily ever after?” he asked, his tone condescending, but that changed instantly. “I get the happily ever after, and I will not concede to a spoiled brat like you.” His face was hard, and his words were filled with venom.
“Then you leave me no choice.”
I summoned all my power, concentrating and focusing on everything I had been practicing. I held my hands out toward him, palms out, and, using everything I had in me, I began to push. I knew I couldn’t kill him this way, but I hoped to get him incapacitated enough that I could get close to him.
His hair ruffled, his robe even blew back, but nothing else happened. I used everything inside me, and a buzzing sound started in the back of my head, growing more painful as I strained to use all my energy.
But Oren never even moved. He only smiled wider.
“Is that all you’ve got?” He threw back his head and laughed, the sound reverberating through the room. “I have highly overestimated you.”
I pushed and pushed, refusing to give up, even when the pain in my skull became excruciating. Everything else in the room, the furniture, the books, began flying around like there was a tornado, but Oren remained unmoved.
I could feel something warm and wet on my lips, and I realized my nose had begun to bleed.
“Oh, Princess, darling,” Oren said, as sweetly as he could. “You’re exhausting yourself. I hate to see you in so much pain.” He sighed, attempting to sound regretful. “So I’ll put you out of your misery.”
He stepped forward and raised his hand. He struck me across the face, backhanding me so hard I flew across the room and slammed into a wall. Everything that I had sent flying in the air collapsed to the floor around me.
Loki had tried to warn me about how strong Oren was, but I hadn’t understood until now. It was like being hit with a wrecking ball. My side ached terribly where I’d crashed into the wall, and some of my ribs must have been broken. My leg screamed in pain and I was lucky I hadn’t broken my neck.
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