“Just your mouth,” he commanded, taking a handful of her hair and pulling her head back. “Put your hands behind your back and hold still.”
She complied, widening her jaw as he thrust himself inside of her mouth until he hit the back of her throat. The invasion made her jerk and she felt his grip loosen in her hair as he retreated slightly. She looked up to see him looking down on her, his brow furrowed and jaw clenched. The corners of her lips lifted as much as they could and she made her eyes wide and friendly, trying to encourage him. She liked him like this; bestial, voracious, demanding.
He let out a grunt and wrapped his other hand in her hair. It seemed like he was trying to keep his thrusts as shallow, but after a few moments he started fucking her mouth more forcefully, driving himself in as deep as he could go. Just when it seemed like he was going to explode, he stilled and took a deep breath. His cock was even hotter than her mouth and felt like an iron bar. The thrusting picked up speed again as his hold on her hair pulled her upwards, taking some of her weight off of her knees.
As the minutes wore on, Leah did her best to summon her resolve and not let him know how uncomfortable it was getting. He hadn’t fucked her in over two months now, and she felt bad for him even though his torment was his own fault, the stubborn, superstitious ox. He continued for what seemed like forever, bringing himself to the edge and stopping before pumping into her mouth wildly again. Leah’s jaw ached and he was thrusting so fast it was getting difficult to breathe. Why wouldn’t he just finish? She didn’t know how much more she could take.
He kept fucking her mouth ruthlessly, making guttural sounds that would have turned her on immensely if she wasn’t ready to collapse. If it weren’t for him holding her up by her hair she probably would have by now. Unable to stop herself, she groaned desperately as he impaled himself against the back of her throat. She hadn’t meant to sound so pathetic and regretted it immediately.
His body stiffened. The cock was instantly out of her mouth and he sank to his knees in front of her. She slumped into his shoulder as he pulled her into his lap.
“Fuck, baby,” he hissed. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” she reassured him.
“The hell it is.” Adam lifted her chin and pressed his forehead into hers. “I am so sorry.”
She kissed his forehead, trying to make him feel better about his loss of control as he let out a soft groan. Why he was doing this to himself she would never understand. Her heart fluttered as he kissed her swollen lips. After he’d gone to far, he was always so tender and cuddly. It would be worth it, if it weren’t for the fact that she could see how much he hated himself in those moments.
He pulled her against his chest and laid back on the rock. It was already getting hot and the sun was beating down on them now. Leah loved it when he held her like this, her entire body lying on top of his. Everything about him was so hard and big, it made her feel so tiny. She looked down, seeing that his cock was getting flaccid and knowing that he was really upset.
“I told you to tap my knee when it got to be too much.” His hand was stroking her hair near the nape of her neck where he had been pulling it moments ago.
“I didn’t want to stop you.” She traced her fingers along his chest, slowly moving toward his rippling stomach.
“Baby, I would much rather stop than hear you make that…sound.”
“You told me to put my hands behind my back and stay still, so I did.”
“Leah,” he grunted, his voice reverberating through his chest into her ear. He sat up on his elbows and looked into her eyes. “You know you are supposed to stop me if you need me too. I get a little… caught up in the moment.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I won’t be able to enjoy myself if I can’t trust that you’ll let me know, baby.” He kissed her gently on the tip of her nose. “You need to use your safe word. Well, I suppose it will likely be your safe signal, seeing as your mouth will be full when I go too far.”
“Why does it only have to be my mouth?”
He slumped back down on his back. “Leah, we’ve been through this.”
“I know, I know.” She knew better than to ask him again. “But what about my…”
He nudged her shoulder when she took too long to finish her sentence.
“My ass,” she blushed. His cock was so thick she wasn’t even sure she’d be able to handle it.
“Sweetie,” he laughed. “If your ass was on the menu I would have spanked it twice today.”
“What?” She propped herself up on her elbow and stared at him. His chest was nearly as hard as the rock. “When?”
“This morning, when you didn’t finish your breakfast.”
“The mangoes give me heartburn.”
“What?” He sat up swiftly, leaning her back into his arms. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You’re always going on about how nutritious they are.”
“God damn it, Leah.” He looked at her sternly, but as soon as he saw her bite her lip the harshness of his expression faded. “You are supposed to tell me what’s going on with you.”
“Heartburn shouldn’t hurt the baby.”
“It’s not about the baby. I can’t stand it when you’re uncomfortable.” He held her closer to his chest and kissed the top of her head. “Please don’t be afraid to tell me things.”
“I’ll try.” She snuggled into his neck.
“Thank you.”
“So what was the second time?” He looked down at her quizzically. “That you wanted to spank me.”
“Oh,” he laughed. “It was just now. You hadn’t done anything wrong. I just felt like reddening your ass.”
She giggled at him and pressed her head into his shoulder.
“Don’t worry,” he added quickly. “I know that’s not your thing. It’s not that big of a deal for me anyway.”
How the hell did he know that wasn’t her thing? He was right, but they had never talked about it. There hadn’t been a lot of boundary setting when they had first got together, not that Leah was very familiar with those type of arrangements. It was a little late now. Adam was stroking her belly.
“It’s hot,” he said, moving her off of his lap and reaching for his pants. “We should get back.”
“But you didn’t finish!”
“Don’t worry about it, cutie.”
She rose to her knees, positioning her breasts in front of his face and wrapping her arms around his neck. His cock hardened instantly. He looked up at her tentatively before the lust crept across his face and he pressed into her chest, stroking her spine as he licked one of her nipples.
“If the only thing I’m allowed to do for you is suck your dick,” she whispered into his ear as her fingers wrapped around his hardness. “You should let me do it more often so you won’t be as rough.”
“That’s something to think about,” he groaned as he laid back.
“I’ll be quick,” she said as she straddled his knees and took him into her mouth.
“I’ll be still,” he panted, lightly threading his fingers through the hair on her bobbing head.
Leah’s eyes fluttered open. The music had changed, jerking her out of her dream. It was the first one she’d had since shed been taken and although she was so grateful for the moment, it made waking to her prison that much more hellish.
Her stomach growled as she rolled over. There was no way to tell how long she had been here, but it had to be over two weeks. The thumping bass of the abrasive music synced up with the pounding in her head and she dry heaved off the side of the thin mattress. Her stomach was perpetually empty, she’d only eaten a few times since Walker had captured her. He was disturbingly honest with his intention to starve her slowly and it was beginning to show as she looked at her hands. When he decided she was thin enough, he’d give Adam a call to show off his handiwork, a day Leah hoped was rapidly approaching.
She was miserable, but hadn’t given up hope yet. Desperation was a luxury she coul
dn’t afford. Hunger was her constant companion, but what really worried her was how the lack of nutrition was affecting her baby. She tried to will her body to give everything it could to the growing life inside of her, constantly visualizing it growing as she withered away. Daddy would come for them soon, she told her unborn child and did her best to believe it wholeheartedly.
13
Walker burst into Leah’s room, jubilant as always. He skipped over to where she was laying and grabbed her by the arm, jerking her to her feet. The smile he flashed her was eerily friendly but hollow. Pulling her out of the windowless room, he led her down the hallway as Leah’s eyes adjusted to the lack of blinding light. She could still hear the horrible music in her aching head. This morning routine was starting to wear on her. At least she thought it was the morning. She hadn’t seen daylight since she’d been here.
“Well let’s get you on the scale and see how much you’ve lost,” Walker said cheerfully. His enthusiasm at her deteriorating condition was beyond unnerving.
Leah stepped on the large digital scale, keeping her eyes down to avoid looking in the full-length mirror on the wall in front of her. Walker grabbed her chin and pulled it up harshly, forcing her to see what he was doing to her. Her face was unrecognizable. The circles under her sunken eyes were the darkest that she had ever seen on anyone. Every bone on her face and shoulders could be seen clearly beneath the thin layer of taught skin stretched to the breaking point. Her hair had been falling out a lot in the past two weeks and even though she’d had a lot to spare, it was starting to show.
The bruises on the side of her face were turning yellow, which meant that Walker would be refreshing them soon, probably today. Adam would have to watch again, and the blank on his face was far more unbearable than the pain from the beatings. The only time she had really panicked was when he hit her in the stomach, but he’d decided that was too risky. If she miscarried too soon, it wouldn’t be nearly as fun.
“Fantastic progress!” Walker exclaimed, pulling her off of the scale. “You’re down 23 pounds! This calls for a celebration.”
Leah glared at him as he led her down the hallway. He was whistling again, something he did when he was in a particularly good mood. A good mood just made Walker even more psychotic and Leah’s heart sank as she wondered what was in store for her today. Dizziness washed over her, buckling her knees as the world slipped out from beneath her. A firm hand completely encircled her thin arm and kept her from hitting the ground. Walker flashed her his trademark disturbing smile while she took a few breaths and waited for her vision to focus. He loved it when she fainted.
Leah dry heaved when she smelled the food as Walker’s gleeful laugh echoed down the hallway. They were heading toward the mess hall so she could watch everyone eat. The smell was the worst part and always hit her the hardest. Ten men sat around a long table, leaving a seat at the head for Walker and one next to him for her. Originally, there had been eleven, but one of the men had been discovered trying to slip Leah some food. He was gone the next day and she never saw him again.
The men’s rowdy voices quieted as Walker led her into the room. They seemed to be growing more afraid of him everyday. In the beginning, they had made a big deal of eating when she couldn’t, making dramatic sounds and faces of satisfaction and comments about how delicious everything was. Now when they looked at her, she saw nothing but pity in their eyes, with the exception of Miguel, who always sat next to Walker across from her. Her stomach churned and she wavered as he dragged her towards the table.
Breakfast or lunch, it was hard to tell because of the variety of foods, had been excruciating as always. Now it was time for Leah’s favorite and most dreaded time of the day. Walker and Miguel dragged her toward the white room. That’s what she named the place where they would videoconference with Adam. From what she could tell, it was the only part of the ship where she wasn’t surrounded by metal. Walker must have had it dry walled and painted stark white. It certainly didn’t look like they were on a ship, which was clearly the point. There was nothing in the room except for a stainless steel table and chair serving as a computer desk.
Leah’s heart began to beat faster. Not because of the gun Miguel was pointing at her head, but at the thought of seeing Adam again, even though the distant expression on his face haunted her. She sat down on the hard chair, the cold metal digging into her bones. Walker always stayed behind the camera and never said anything. It was obvious that he was trying to keep his identity a secret. Adam probably didn’t even know that Thomas had been killed and he should be looking for someone else.
Leah stared at the blank screen while Walker was giving Miguel instructions about what to say like he always did. There was a piece of paper in front of her, listing the things she was supposed to read to Adam. They weren’t allowed to actually talk and she couldn’t answer any of his questions. The first sentence was always the some version of how long it’s been since she’d eaten and how much weight she had lost. After that, there was usually a quote from a study about fetal malnutrition. If she was lucky, there would be a question for Adam about his other life. She’d gotten to hear about how he met his wife and the births of his children. This was supposed to be torturous for both of them, but Leah actually found it strangely comforting because she got to see him for longer than usual.
Miguel would usually pipe in after that with whatever Walker wanted him to say, typically threats or character attacks, but never giving Adam any demands. It was like he didn’t want anything in exchange for her release, a thought the Leah didn’t like to dwell on. The thrill he got from tormenting the two of them seemed to be what he was most interested in, and he had confessed to her in the beginning that he didn’t have much of a plan. The conversations usually ended with Adam screaming questions, asking to speak to Thomas and offering obscene amounts of money for her return.
Adam’s face appeared on the screen and Leah struggled not to smile. Walker always got angry if she did. His face was getting thinner every day and he looked nearly as exhausted as she was. Miguel had his pistol pressed against her temple but Leah barely noticed it anymore.
“It’s been fifty one days since I’ve had anything to eat and I’ve lost 23 pounds.” Leah tried to sound better than she was but her voice sounded weak.
Adam didn’t respond, which was normal. Walker was watching him on a tablet and standing behind Leah’s monitor with a sadistic grin on his face. She was about to read the next line when a loud crash outside the room interrupted her. The three of them looked toward the door and listed as several voices argued loudly. An aggravated sigh escaped Walker’s throat as the confrontation escalated. Glancing back at the screen, Leah saw Adam’s face contorted in confusion. She felt the pistol pull away from her head as Miguel and Walker raced to the door to check for an impending mutiny. There was a pile of bodies tumbling around the hallway as fists struck out blindly. As Miguel and a few others struggled to pull the men apart, Leah saw her chance.
“I’m on a ship.”
She mouthed the words silently and gave Adam a reassuring grin. He smiled back at her warmly and mouthed “I’m sorry.” It was so comforting to see his response. She was beginning to think that he cared for her as little as Walker said he did, but this confirmed her suspicions that he knew he was being watched and didn’t want to egg her captors on.
“Walker.” She had intended to be silent again but instead heard the word in her shaky voice and realized she’d said it out loud. Adam’s mouth dropped open in shock.
Walker’s head whipped around suddenly, his eyes filled with fury and hatred. Leah could feel the victorious look on her face even though she was trembling with fear. It was very likely that had been a fatal error.
“Thomas is dead. I love you.”
“Leah, I-”
Walker crashed into her and knocked her to the ground. Leah always tried to stay silent for Adam’s sake when Miguel hit her, but she could hear a terrified woman’s voice shrieking as Walker unleas
hed his rage. There was a metallic taste in her mouth and her ears were ringing, but she didn’t really feel anything except an odd floating sensation. She could hear Adam’s voice screaming for him to stop through the speakers, but it was faint and sounded far off. Everything had gone black and she felt herself slipping away. She tried to fight it, but the darkness called to her and she was enveloped by the sweet release of unconsciousness.
14
Adam stared at his plate despondently. He could hear Ramira urging him to eat and he disliked the idea of wasting food, but he just couldn’t bring himself to take a single bite. The guilt he would feel afterwards wasn’t worth it today.
It hadn’t been so difficult to eat until this week. Gustavo insisted that he didn’t give into his depression and had one of his best men training him in hand-to-hand combat. That made him feel useful again and was absolutely essential for controlling his unrelenting anger. In the beginning, it seemed like he was developing skills that would help when they found Leah and stormed in to save her. Now it was starting to feel like a lost cause.
She was fading away before his eyes and there was nothing he could do about it. Every day he saw her get smaller and smaller but until recently he could still see her spirit behind her sunken eyes. Now the light was getting dimmer. She was a skeleton in a suit of thin skin. Her pregnant belly was still growing, sucking the life out of her dwindling frame and he wondered how she even had the strength to stand up.
It had been nearly two months since she’d disappeared and Gus’s men were no closer to finding her. They had virtually nothing to go on. Everyday she appeared in a white, featureless room without Thomas. The computer guys had no idea where they were transmitting from and there hadn’t been any demands.
It took him a long time to remember exactly who Thomas was, but when he did it still didn’t make any sense. He was a colleague at Adam’s first job out of college and had gotten passed over for a promotion. Ironically Adam hadn’t screwed him over at all. The guy was a little weasel with no social skills, destined to a life of professional mediocrity by virtue of his own personality, not anything Adam had done. And that’s exactly how it ended up for him, but apparently he’d kept on eye on Adam’s success over the past two decades and blamed him for everything wrong with his life.
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