19
He could get used to this, Adam realized as he laid her down on the bed, wrapped up in towels. Perhaps something good would come out of this horrible ordeal after all. Shivers ran down the length of her body as he struggled to protect every little patch of skin until she was wrapped up like a sleeping Eskimo with only her face exposed. Soon he would be swaddling the baby Leah gave him like this.
Adam climbed in beside her, trying to jostle the bed as little as possible. There was a strange tingling sensation in his stomach and his arms wanted to wrap around her. She was just so fucking adorable all bundled up like this. It made him think of the way he had wrapped her up after sex when he was trying to get her pregnant.
This wasn’t how he had pictured spending the final days before the birth of their child. It was supposed to be with her lying down with her legs spread on command so he could ravage her swollen body. That was the image of her in his head of the way things were supposed to be. She was still pampered and cared for, but certainly not frightened all the time. His mind’s eye could see her standing before him, smiling and compliant, ready to please him.
It never really would have been that way though, he knew that. Well, maybe the ravaging. As soon as he knew she was carrying his baby, the fantasy changed. Adam had never done the doting husband, running for pickles and ice cream in the middle of the night thing with Patricia. The attachment he felt to Leah was unexpected. The first time she had morning sickness was surprisingly painful to watch. What was more astonishing was how much he enjoyed taking care of her. Back rubs, foot rubs, watching her shop, especially for thing she wanted for herself, not the baby. And pleasuring her body, making her writhe until she couldn’t take it anymore, watching her come.
He had never expected to have a traditional D/s relationship with Leah. Kidnapping someone and basically forcing them to have your baby wasn’t exactly in the realm of safe, sane, consensual. It would have been more like an antiquated, extremely traditional marriage, and he had intended to marry her eventually from the beginning. Since they’d never worked out each other’s limits he had always assumed there would be some degree of compromise sexually. How much could he expect from a new mom, realistically? She was naturally submissive in general, especially in bed so he had faith it would work out. When he picked her he knew that she liked the rough handling and genuinely enjoyed pleasing her lovers as much as she could, but had no interest in being disciplined and didn’t enjoy pain.
He had hoped to formally train her eventually, though he was sure it would be a long slow process, frequently interrupted from both of their obligations to the kids. He knew he would never actually be able to physically discipline her because she would always be pregnant, or breastfeeding, or in the process of getting knocked up again for several years. Even after the family was complete, she would always be around the children and he couldn’t risk them seeing any welts or bruises. After that fight about not wanting the children to see her being ordered around, he knew he wouldn’t have a lot of options left to mold her.
But as the more time he spent with her, the more he realized he could live with that. What he really wanted from her was to be a good mother, everything else would always come second. She would be happy enough doing that whole bird-researching thing she was so keen about. As long as she didn’t insult him, test his limits, and let him have her body often they would both be content. And like those old world, arranged marriages, he assumed their affections for each other would become stronger as they watched their children grow. Instead his love for her spread like wildfire, though he didn’t recognize it for what it was in the beginning. It wasn’t part of the plan and anything that didn’t go according to plan had to be assimilated or destroyed. But love didn’t work that way, Adam found out, and that terrified him, so he ignored it.
Now he had lost the upper hand entirely. Having no control over her whatsoever wasn’t how he pictured his life at all. But if she left, everything would fall apart. He worried that he would slip up and scare her, or that she would stay but only while the baby was little and she was afraid to be alone. The only thing he could do to stop her was show her how devoted he was.
This whole doting and pampering thing was easy, actually enjoyable. His ego was shattered and he didn’t feel worthy to expect anything in return, but that probably wouldn’t last forever. He couldn’t change who he was and he might eventually fall into old habits. That had never seemed to bother Leah that much in the past, but who knew how she would be once she was whole again. If she ever would be.
It couldn’t be that hard, asking a woman to bend over and present herself instead of taking her by the hair and pushing her down on the bed. Adam shook the thought from his head, he was getting ahead of himself. That would be far, far in the future. And perhaps he would never be the same himself, never be able to shake the image of her starved, broken, wet, and shaking in his arms. Maybe he would always be flooded with gratitude and humility whenever he looked at her. Or possibly sex could be a mixture of nipple clamps and laughter, hold stills and I love yous, submission and love. Maybe that was how it would have turned out anyway.
His eyes were just starting to get heavy when hers popped open.
“I’m hot,” she said, struggling beneath the pile of towels and covers.
He helped her peel away the layers of her cocoon. As soon as her nakedness was exposed his body betrayed him, arousal surging. His eyes locked onto her belly, then her breasts and he stifled a groan. The lust must have showed on his face because when he finally pulled his gaze to her eyes she was giving him that look. That look.
“I don’t think so, cutie,” he murmured, but he didn’t stop her from reaching under his waistband and moving closer to him.
“We never got around to your turn.”
“Oh, my God,” he panted as she wrapped her fingers around him.
She stroked him as he pulled her against his chest and locked his lips onto hers. His hand roamed the length of her body, finally settling on her breast. It had been a long time, probably the longest he had gone without satisfaction in his life and he wanted her so badly it hurt.
He felt her grip loosen, her strokes getting slower. Her little arm must have been getting tired. Then she started sliding downward, her lips caressing his chest, his stomach. There was no way in hell he was going to let her, but he knew he had to soften the rejection.
“No.” He knew his voice would be stern, so he whispered, inching his hips away but keeping his arms in place.
“But my arm’s too tired.” She bit her lip and looked up at him. “Use my mouth.”
“Your jaw, Leah. Not going to happen, sorry.”
“The doctor said I have to move it.”
“Nice try,” he returned. “That’s not what he meant. Besides…”
“What?”
“You’re not one upping me on this. I used my fingers, not my mouth. You won’t be sucking me until long after I’ve licked you.”
“But I can’t use my hand,” she whined.
“I’m fine, baby.” He was actually on fire but he would deal with it. “Scoot back up here, please.”
She did, keeping her hand on his cock but not moving it. “How long has it been since you came?”
He laughed. “I jacked off a few times after our chats.” His face dropped. “In the beginning, before-”
“I know what you mean,” she cut him off. “So did I.”
“Oh really.” He raised an eyebrow. “I believe you were only allowed to do that on camera. When I told you to.”
“I was,” she giggled, stroking him lightly. “But I didn’t listen.”
“Leah…” His erection throbbed. She had disobeyed him and there was nothing he could do about it. Why was that turning him on so much?
“Will you do it yourself since I can’t.”
“Really, I’m fine.” He kissed her forehead.
“Okay.” She sounded disappointed.
“Don’t you dare feel guilty,
Leah.”
“I’m not, it’s just…”
“What, baby?”
“Well you’ve watched me do it…”
That brought back fond memories. He groaned as she kissed his shoulder and traced her fingers along his hips.
“Do you seriously want to watch me?”
She nodded, smiling. If Adam were capable of blushing he would have.
“Fuck, Leah,” he stammered.
“What’s wrong,” she purred into his ear, pressing her belly against his flank. “Feeling a little exposed?”
“Yes,” he whispered.
If he hadn’t been so incredibly horny this particular act of penance would have bothered him a lot more. He didn’t even like jerking off alone. It was not particularly satisfying and finding someone to please his cock in any way he saw fit wasn’t much of a problem.
Her eyes egged him on, so he closed his own and wrapped his fingers around himself.
“You always made me look at you.”
“Baby…”
“Please?”
Wondering how long it was going to take her to figure out the power that word had over him, he exhaled loudly and locked eyes with her. He was instantly glad that he did. Her face was so endearing as she watched him, wide-eyed and curious. She wasn’t trying to embarrass him or control him the way he had with her. She wanted this to be intimate, not emasculating.
Leah moved up, pulling herself over his arm so that it was wrapped around her waist instead of her shoulders. Her breasts were inches from his face, her hard nipples beckoning his lips. She traced her fingers through is hair as he turned his head and clamped his mouth down on her.
“I still love you, Adam.” Her lips were against the top of his head.
He groaned and pulled her body closer, his fingers grazing the soft skin on the side of her swollen belly. Why was she being so good to him? How could she still feel that way after what he’d let happen to her? He didn’t deserve for her to stay, but he had never wanted anything more in his life.
“Leah!” he moaned, pressing his forehead against her breastbone and gritting his teeth. He let himself explode wrapped in her arms, his face between her breasts. It was a lot more intense than he had anticipated. Looking up, he saw that her eyes were on his spurting cock as she bit her lip. The obvious arousal in her face heightened his climax.
He breathed into her chest for a few seconds while he recovered, her fingers in his hair sending shivers down his spine. He was still reeling when she was twisted around and grabbed a handful of tissues. Before he could stop her, she cleaned his hot seed off of his stomach and hand, even dabbing it off the head of his cock before leaning down and planting a gentle kiss on the tip.
“You didn’t have to do that, baby.”
“I know,” she smirked. “That just made me want to do it more.”
He kissed her, cupping her face gently. “You,” he started, nipping the end of her nose lightly, “are incredible.”
Her little body shivered. She was chilly again. For a moment he thought he should ask her to get dressed, but he wanted to feel her skin against his for a while longer. His body felt so much better after the release. He pulled the covers up around them, tucking the soft fabric around the front of her as she laid her side. His own body heat would keep her back warm enough as he held her closely. She was already out as usual and he quickly followed, breathing in the sweet scent of her hair.
20
“Are you sure you can’t finish it?” Adam asked, gesturing to the half eaten plate of food sitting in front of her.
Leah scowled at him. “I said that I couldn’t.”
“That wasn’t even a full meal.”
“I know,” she replied sharply. “Your son is pushing all my insides around and there is no room for a full meal. I’m sure you’ll be happy to heat the rest up for me in a couple of hours.”
“Don’t say that so sarcastically.” His voice was a bit harsh. He planted a gentle kiss on her cheek as he cleared the plates away. “Because it actually will make me happy to do it.”
Leah gave him a mischievous look. “I could probably eat a little ice cream, though.”
“Oh, there’s a little room after all, just not for actual food,” he quipped.
“Maybe.” She pushed away from the table and went over to the freezer. “But I don’t want chocolate. Do we have any blueberry?”
Adam looked at her. His brow was furrowed as if he was angry but his lips were trying not to smile. “I can’t exactly send someone down the street to the store, Leah.”
“I know,” she whined.
“Lucky for you, however,” he said as he closed the freezer door, “I anticipated this.”
“Did you actually anticipate blueberry?”
“No,” he replied, gesturing for her to sit back down. “But I did buy every kind of frozen fruit available and an ice cream maker. It came yesterday.”
“Wow.” She stayed at his side, running her hand down the length of his spine. “That was a good idea.”
“These bratty outbursts you’ve been having lately.” He turned to face her. “How much of it stems from being uncomfortably pregnant and how much is because you can get away with whatever you want now?”
Rolling her lips together, her eyes got wider. “I’m not sure. Probably half and half.”
“Well, I’m very sorry about the uncomfortable half,” he told her, laying his hands on her belly. “As for the bratty half…” His lips traveled up her neck to her earlobe and gave it a gentle bite. “Those, oddly enough, have been turning me on.”
“Really?” she gasped as he picked her up and sat her on the solid table.
“A lot,” he answered, with a hint of a growl in his voice.
Leah could feel his erection pressing against her stomach. She wrapped her legs around his hard torso as his hands brushed her hair behind her back and lifted her chin. Goosebumps covered her skin as his lips continued to explore her throat.
“Are we going to…” She hadn’t exactly pictured it being on the kitchen table.
“Relax, baby,” he whispered into her ear softly. Her body slumped into his arms as they wrapped around her. “Not here. Not right this second. I’m sorry, but it can’t be this spontaneous.”
“But will it be soon?”
She felt him nodding as he buried his face in her shoulder. “If you want it to be.” There was a hint of hesitation in his voice.
“You know I do.”
He pulled her body closer, letting out a soft groan as his arousal pressed against her. His lips were on hers suddenly, his tongue invading her mouth.
“Take me upstairs,” she begged.
“Leah…” He inched away from her, his face contorted. “Are you-”
There was a crash outside the window shortly followed by the sound of men’s voices shouting. Leah’s body turned from putty to stone and she felt her heart beating faster and faster. The rhythm of her breathing increased to match it as the perimeter of her vision turned white.
Adam’s body stilled, his expression pained with indecision. Her last panic attack had been three days ago and when he instantly ran to comfort her as he always did, she lashed out at him. This time however she needed his arms around her so she somehow managed to lean forward until her head landed on his chest. He held her tightly as she hyperventilated and her body trembled uncontrollably, softly whispering reassurances into her ear.
It only lasted a few minutes but it felt like an eternity. When it was over, her skin was cold and clammy and she winced as he pulled away from her, instantly returning to wrap her in the blanket he always kept within arm’s reach. His fingers grazed her cheeks, wiping away tears that she didn’t know were there.
“I’m going to close the window, alright?” he asked after holding her for a few moments.
Leah nodded. He had just reluctantly opened it at her request to let in a breeze. Now she was freezing. Hot, cold, hot, cold. That’s the way it had been for the last thr
ee weeks since she decided to stay. Her body temperature wasn’t the only thing that couldn’t make up its mind.
One minute she knew for sure that she wanted to stay here with Adam forever, the next she couldn’t shake the feeling his declarations of love were just a way to continue manipulating her and she wanted to leave. Sometimes she was tempted to ask him just to see how he would react, if he would really let her.
He seemed so genuine, but she wasn’t sure if she was seeing what she wanted to see. Her body felt like it was floating as Adam lifted her into his arms and carried her out of the kitchen. Over his shoulder, she watched as the table he’d made for her disappeared from view. It was round, no head, no foot, a symbol of equality and the only shape she could stand to sit at without feeling nauseous.
The living room was different too, the furniture rearranged, the walls repainted. No desk. She was allowed in his office, now renamed the office, whenever she wanted. Her body relaxed in his arms as she curled into his lap on the couch. It felt so safe here. His lips were in her hair as he rocked her back and forth.
“Leah.” He was always so quiet afterwards. “Will you please reconsider delaying construction until after we get back?”
“Absolutely not.” Her voice was shaky. “I told you, I want it to be ready before mating season.”
He sighed. That was a total lie and she wondered if he knew it. It took some convincing to get him to start building the research station she wanted, but he did it. At first the test made her feel a little more secure, but that hadn’t lasted long. Someone as wealthy as he was wouldn’t think twice about wasting thousands of dollars on a building to convince the woman carrying his child that he wanted her to stay when he didn’t.
All he wanted to do was soundproof the house, or so he said. But that would be noisy too, so it would have to be done while they were in Rio for her C-section. The thought of it started to make her panic, something she couldn’t afford to do right in this moment but she wasn’t able to push it from her mind. It was only 2 short weeks away. Her breathing was getting faster.
Captured by the Billionaire (Omnibus Edition) Page 14