by S A Pavli
“Yes Paul, all systems operate without restrictions. Let me know if there is anything specific I can do for you,” he replied. This polite small talk actually had a point to it; I had agreed with Alfred before our arrival that we needed some coded way of exchanging information. Space Scout procedures had not anticipated such a scenario and it was impossible to make up a coded information system in a couple of hours. Well, it was not impossible for Alfred to make it up, it was just impossible for me to memorise it. So we had decided to fall back on innuendo and hidden meaning on the principle that the Hianja would not be able to see through it. Actually, I was afraid that Alfred would not be able to see through it either, it was certainly a test of his linguistic analysis algorithm. Hopefully he had understood that I had just asked him whether the ship and systems had been interfered with, and that I would be down for a secret chat on the pretext of getting some clothing. My thinking was interrupted by a musical chime. The small screen next to the door lit up to display Nastro’s smooth chubby features. Nastro had instructed me that to open the door I needed to say ‘Kataa’, which was Hianja for ‘open’ of course.
“Kataa,” I said and added “Open sesame,” for good measure. The door was not confused and opened smoothly.
“Ready for dinner Paul?” asked Nastro in his Japanese-English , striding through the door and rubbing his hands in anticipation.
“I could eat an Elephant.” I grinned. “Including the tusks.”
“Hah,” he exclaimed, “No elephants on the menu Paul. But many tasty dishes.”
“Nastro, we have translation facilities on line now?” I asked as I followed him out to the corridor.
“Yes, but I prefer speak English, if you no mind?” he said. “But, can hear the translation of you speak,” he added, tapping the communicator plugged into his ear.
“So,” he continued. “The restaurant deck is deck Four. We eat with Guardians, ship’s Captain and other Officials. They are all very anxious to meet you.”
“Sounds like fun,” I said feeling like a sheep about to be thrown to the wolves. Nastro must have detected the irony, because he looked at me out of the corner of his eyes and nodded gently.
“Not to worry Paul, if in trouble, pretend no understand question,” he said bobbing his head and chuckling. I began to like the chubby fellow.
“You should have been a politician Nastro,” I smiled.
“Politician, what is politician?” he asked. I spent the few minutes of our trip to the Restaurant deck describing the concept of Democracy and the purpose of politicians in our system of Government. Nastro listened very thoughtfully and with interest, asking astute questions.
“I will ask Alfred to give me information regarding your political systems,” he said “It sounds very interesting.”
“I can’t believe that you have never had any Democratic society in your history?” I asked.
“Oh yes, we have Democracy,” he replied, “But we do not have Political Parties. Everybody has the right to vote directly on every issue.”
“But who decides the issues?” I asked.
“The Government is made up of Civil Servants and Computers.”
“And the Guardians?” I asked, “Who chooses them?”
“The most important requirement is that they should not want to rule. They do not choose themselves, they are chosen by their peers,” he replied. “And their term is a short one, no more than ten years.”
“Interesting,” I replied. ‘There was an ancient human philosopher called Plato who suggested exactly that. He maintained that the only people who are fit to rule are those who did not want to rule.”
“Plato sounds like a great thinker,” replied Nastro. “But your Democracy works?” he asked.
“Oh yes, it works, perhaps not perfectly, and it is open to abuse, but so far it is the best system of government that we have found,” I replied.
We had arrived at the restaurant deck and it was a pretty impressive area. Completely open plan it took up almost the whole circumference of the ship. From the central podium, as you came out of the elevator, the area spread out around and slightly beneath. It was liberally decorated with plants and flowers and organised into different sections, divided off by shrubbery and flowers for privacy.
“This is really something,” I said in undisguised admiration.
“Yes , the Tanu is a nice ship. Come, follow me,” he said and headed down the ramp. We walked down some steps and turned a corner to be confronted with an open area which was an explosion of flowering plants of all colours and shapes. Marble columns and graceful flowing arches formed a circle in which was set out a long table set out tastefully with colourful plates ,silver and gold cutlery and embroidered serviettes. It was like a Grecian temple and I expected to see maidens clothed in flimsy white robes flitting between the plants and columns.
Gathered in an open area away from the table were a group of Hianja, dressed in their traditional robes, holding glasses and chatting. An alien cocktail party I thought. God, human cocktail parties are bad enough, but to be dissected and examined by a bunch of aliens in this setting was just too much. I groaned and had the irresistible urge to turn and run for it. I felt a strong grip on my arm and turned to look into Nastro’s open friendly face.
“Paul, good luck,” he said “I must leave you, this is not for me. I will see you tomorrow.”
“Thanks Nastro, see you tomorrow,” I said and headed down the steps towards the gathered group. A figure detached itself from the group and headed towards me and spirits picked up at the familiar sight of her slender figure and swaying walk. As she came close she smiled warmly and extended a hand. I took her hand and she came close and whispered.
“Hello Mr Earthman, you look very handsome.”
“As always, you are perfection itself ,” I whispered back gallantly, but aware that what we said could in theory be heard by everyone through the translation system. There was a lot more I wanted to say, and I could see from her intimate eye contact that so did she.
“I will introduce you to everyone, and Alfred can remind you of their names if you forget,” she whispered very quietly speaking in English.
“Thank God for Alfred,” I replied. A familiar voice interceded in my ear.
“I will remind you of that one day,” said Alfred and there was a snicker in his voice. We had now reached the group of Hianja and I could see Kemato standing next to a slim athletic looking lady in a closely fitting silver and blue waistcoat and trousers. The tall Hamolatonen was very visible at the back of the group and Malanisa was in conversation with a couple of young men dressed in grey and black. Manera directed me towards Kemato who moved towards me and nodded cordially in greeting.
“Welcome Captain,” she said. ‘Allow me to introduce the Captain of the Tanu, Captain Ranice Tollani-Sonna. I exchanged greetings with the Captain, who fixed me with a long curious stare. The other members of the party were gathering around, clearly excited and curious and I felt like an exhibit at the zoo.
“What is the normal human greeting when meeting Captain?” asked Captain Ranice.
“Well, it depends which part of Earth one come from,” I replied. “In some parts of the Earth, you would bow,” I continued, demonstrating a Japanese bow. “In others you would embrace, similar to the Hianja embrace. But in my part of Earth, and in many others, the handshake is normal.”
“And how would you do that?” asked the Captain. I held out my right hand palm straight out.
“Both individuals would clasp hands firmly.“ The Captain extended her hand and we clasped hands. I shook her hand firmly, but her hand remained limp in mine.
“It is a sign of mutual respect to give a firm handshake,” I said, with the accent on the word ‘firm’. The Captain tightened her grip and gave my hand a firm shake in return. I smiled and the Captain chuckled.
“What is the meaning and origin of the handshake Captain?” she asked in a friendly manner.
“Well, it’s rather
lost in history I think, but it is believed that the open hand was a demonstration of friendship. It showed that there were no hidden weapons,” I replied.
“Ah, then it is indeed appropriate,” she replied. “Let me introduce you to my ships officers Captain,” she continued, indicating the throng of uniforms about us.
“It will be a pleasure,” I replied following her lead. She then proceeded to introduce me to half a dozen young Hianja, male and female, all who eagerly stepped forward and gave me a firm and ostentatious handshake, expressing their pleasure. Their eyes were shining and they beamed in pleasure. This was the moment of their lives, first contact with an alien race and they were there! They would ‘dine out’ on this story for many a year I thought in amusement.
“And now Captain, it is my pleasure to introduce you to our scientific team,” said Kemato. “Or perhaps, since Manera is their superior, she can do the introductions?” she said, turning to Manera.
“Of course Guardian,” said Manera, and she proceeded to introduce me to the team of five scientists, dressed in traditional Hianja robes rather than the officers uniforms. They were of various ages, three were female and two were male. I began to see that amongst the more senior jobs, females seemed to predominate. I made a mental note to ask Manera about this later. The scientists were if anything even more excited and exuberant than the officers, I could almost see them jumping up and down with impatience to ask me questions.
“Now then Paul,” said Manera, “let me get you a drink before I let these voracious animals loose on you. Be careful they do not tear you to shreds before I return, they are so keen to get to you.”
“Scientists are the same everywhere,” I agreed. “If any human scientists were here they would be running around in circles unable to decide what to look at first.” This elicited chuckles of agreement from everyone, and I began to relax. It seemed that everyone was in a convivial mood and I was not going to be dismembered. Not today anyway. Manera returned with my drink and we made small talk with the scientists for a few minutes, until Kemato returned to take me in tow again.
“There are two more people for you to meet,” she said. “Actually, you have already met one,” she added and directed me to the two individuals dressed in grey and black next to Guardian Malanisa.
“Captain Sametan Tenaka you have already met,” she said indicating the hard faced security chief who had escorted the Guardians on their trip to the planet. “And this is his second in command, Commander Verisho Namsalet,” To my surprise, Commander Verisho turned out to be female, although it was not to easy to tell. She was a big strong looking lady, with a dark face and very strongly accentuated features. Her hair was chopped short in the fashion of a male, which had made me think she was male.
“Captain,” said Sametan with a curt nod.
“Nice to see you again Captain,” I replied. Commander Verisho stepped forward smartly and held out a square hand.
“A pleasure to make your acquaintance Captain,” she said briskly, and as I grasped her hand she shook it in a vigorous handshake. I responded with equal vigour, gripping her hand in a firm handshake.
“How are you Captain, are your quarters comfortable?”.
“They are superb Guardian,” I replied. “Earth Starships have not yet reached the level of comfort, sophistication and spaciousness that the Tanu has. Is this normal for all Hianja starships? I asked.
“More or less,” replied. “There are more basic ships, mostly cargo ships used by traders. The Tanu is a typical small passenger ship, although she is getting a bit old now.”
“Oh, er, how old is she?” I asked casually.
“About two hundred years I think,” she replied vaguely. I gulped in disbelief.
“Two hundred years? But she looks brand new.”
“I think she was re-fitted some years back,” replied Malanisa. “Technology has not changed for thousands of years so Hianja ships are built to last,” she added.
“That makes sense,” I said. “Human technology has been developing so quickly over the last two hundred years that it is pointless building anything that will last more than twenty or thirty years. By then, it will be obsolete.”
“Captain,” said Guardian Kemato, “Our scientists and engineers have expressed an interest in examining the technology of your starship and shuttle. Purely for interest you understand, we are almost certainly ahead of you in all areas of technology,” she added matter-of-factly.
“I see no problem with that Guardian,” I replied. “Alfred can make available schematics and technical descriptions as required,” Alfred and I had discussed this and agreed that there was no point in being obstructive about this if we were asked. It would only cause suspicion, and in any case, our technology was primitive compared to theirs. The only area where we were anywhere near comparable was Computing and Robotics. Their robot ‘soldiers’ were very impressive, but Alfred, Butch and Sundance were equally formidable. Our Computer database of course purposely did not contain any reference to military hardware. And in the field of military hardware I was sure we were more advanced, not because the Hianja lacked the technology, but after thousands of years of peace they saw no need to build them.
The evening progressed in a fairly relaxed fashion, food was served as a buffet and Manera took delight in guiding me through the various dishes. I tried to sample all of them, some were agreeable, others were downright awful. Interestingly, the dishes that the Hianja particularly enjoyed were the ones I found most disagreeable. I stuck to the vegetarian dishes which I found more bland and there was enough variety there to satisfy my palate and my appetite. The scientists in particular were very interested in my likes and dislikes and I am sure our biologist and doctor were making soto voice notes to their communicators as we went along.
My conviction that this was going to be a stressful and unpleasant evening was not fulfilled. In fact, I started to positively enjoy myself. The Hianja were very good hosts, attentive polite and complementary. Despite the obvious superiority of their civilisation to humanity in just about every aspect, they were neither patronising nor condescending. Towards the end of the evening , whilst deep in conversation with Manera and her science buddies on Human and Hianja sports, Captain Sametan and Commander Verisho interrupted to inform me that they had duties to attend to and must leave.
“Captain,” began Sametan, “I have been assisting the Guardians in looking at and interpreting the evidence of what has happened here. May we meet with you tomorrow to clarify some matters?” I felt a twinge of nervousness but kept my face relaxed and friendly.
“Certainly Captain,” I said. “Do you have a time?”
“I will contact you in the morning to arrange the meeting,” he replied. “Goodnight Captain, sleep well,” I thanked them and wished them goodnight and we continued our conversation. Soon after that the Guardians took their leave, followed by the Captain and his officers who had to return to their posts. The scientists however were indefatigable and soon, despite their protestations I had to concede that fatigue and alcohol had got the better of me.
“Captain, would you want us to think that Earthmen cannot hold their alcohol?” asked Batsano the Biochemist, a tall gangly individual who seemed to have an infinite capacity for alcohol.
“Well, I think it’s an unfair contest Batsano,” I replied. “You guys have spent the last twenty thousand years or so genetically modifying your bodies to resist alcohol. I only have what nature gave me.” I grinned spreading my arms rather unsteadily.
“And Nature was very generous,” complemented Deeyana the young female Sociologist.
“Thank you, you are also very well endowed,” I responded politely. For some unknown reason this caused titters of laughter and Deeyana actually flushed.
“Deeyana, you flushed,” I exclaimed in surprise. This made her flush even more and she glared at the sniggering Batsano “I didn’t think Hianja flushed,” I continued, the drink dulling my sensitivity to the young woman’s embarrass
ment. “Humans flush,” I said informatively to the assembled Hianja and they nodded in appreciation of this gem of information. “When they are embarrassed,” I finished, and at that point my brain caught up with my tongue. “Whoops, sorry Deeyana, what did I say?” I asked, confused.
“To say to a female that they are well endowed is , well, not good manners,” she said “particularly when she is, as you may have noticed.” And at this point Deeyana thrust out what to me seemed a rather modest bosom. She was certainly much better endowed than any of the other females present, including Manera, but by human standards she was quite average.
“What, you call that well endowed?” I asked derisively. “On Earth, you would be just average.”
“Oh, really?” asked Deeyana, looking pleased. “In that case I will emigrate to Earth where my attributes will be better appreciated.” she finished. This brought forth hoots of laughter from the males and cries of support from the females.
“You will be very welcome,” I said with exaggerated politeness. “All of you,” I said “Particularly the ladies who are all very beautiful,” I said expansively. I began to realise that I was not getting drunk, I was drunk. It is usually the case that drunks spend a considerable time whilst drinking in the belief that they are getting drunk, and a very short amount of time in the sudden realisation that they are drunk, just before they pass out.
“Whoa guys, I think I had better go and lie down, before I fall down. May I wish you all goodnight and look forward to seeing you all tomorrow? I said, staggering slightly. There were cries of goodnight and sleep well from the assembled company. Manera took my arm and guided me in the right direction while I energetically waved goodbye to my new buddies.
“Since we are neighbours, I will take you back Paul,” said Manera. Our eyes met when she said this and we both grinned like fellow conspirators. I gave her an exaggerated wink.
“Very kind of you Scientist Manera,” I said politely.
“I will help you, in case Captain Paul needs support,” came the eager voice of the shapely Deeyana, who took my other elbow and looked up at me with a bright eyed smile.