by Lucian Bane
“Fine, I’ll direct. You see those doors,” Valentine pointed at the building. “Just—”
“I meant take her,” Sabre cut in, annoyed.
“Poe, do you think you could?” Valentine asked.
“I was hoping to call Contess—”
“For crying out loud,” Sabre cried. “Never mind, I’ll take her.”
“I can find my way,” she said before pointing at the doors. “Through there?”
Valentine let out a long sigh. “I need a drink. I’ll walk you.”
She gave a happy laugh and leaned over the seat and hugged Valentine’s neck. Poe barely contained the burst of laughter at the look he gave, like a man having a fire hose shoved up his rectum.
When he was finally alone, Poe gave a quick call to Contessant to give her that update as promised. “A female,” she said when he came to the part about what happened to Bill. Or Todd. “Great. You’re over there with another woman and I’m stuck here. Is she pretty? Do not answer that. How pretty is she on a scale of one to ten?”
Poe had to laugh. “The negative numbers don’t go that high, I’m afraid.”
Contessant’s howling laughter was just the score he’d shot for.
“Is she fat? God don’t answer that either. I’m horrible.”
“She looks sickly if you must know. I think her Scribbler may have forgotten a few important details.”
“Not too much smarts, huh?”
“She does seem very… taken with Valentine, so thankfully her attentions will be aimed away from me.”
“Ohhh, you’re kidding. And good,” she growled then gave a light snicker. “She likes V? What does V think of that?”
“Oh Divinities,” Poe whispered, eyeing the facility. “Like a man with his testicles being…” Poe cleared his throat when his mind drew a blank. No, not a blank but drew the wrong words out of his mind.
“You can stop talking about testicles and that woman in the same sentence.”
Poe smiled and nodded. “Oh, here V comes now. Alone.”
“Where’s the girl?”
“Who knows, maybe he drowned her in the lavatory.”
The Scribbler erupted in more howling laughter. “I do love you, my sexy Muse Rider,” she whispered then.
The desire that slammed Poe was startling.
“What?” she said, sounding worried.
“I cannot fathom the power you have over me. My body.”
“Your body,” she said, her voice hitting an octave that set him on fire.
“Scribbler, stop,” he said, desperate.
“Okay, okay,” she hurried at hearing his dire stress. “As hard as it is, I will. Don’t’ want that female around you when that happens.”
Poe said his goodbyes just as V climbed in the driver seat and Sabre got in the back. “Where is she?” Sabre asked.
Valentine opened a container of gold looking liquid. “I showed her in, you didn’t say I had to babysit.”
“Geeze,” Sabre muttered. “She’s my responsibility. I have to at least return her.”
“That’s what you get for playing doctor.”
“I’m not playing anything, I’m merely being kind.”
“Well, leave me out of that,” Valentine said. “I’m here for our Scribbler, and that’s it. Otherwise, I’d still be sleeping in my bed.”
“Rider?” Sabre bleated, his tone filled with helpfulness. “What about that trick? We could do it pretty quickly.”
“Oh dear,” Poe said.
Valentine chugged half the container before aiming it at Sabre. “I do believe he said… or she, whatever, “let the Scribbler… be the Scribbler.”
“He did,” Poe agreed, relieved.
“Well, since her brain is wiped pretty clean—”
“Pristine,” Valentine added. “Pretty sure I heard my voice echoing in her head.”
“Then maybe we should ask,” Sabre finished, ignoring him. “Maybe she will see the sense of it.”
“Would be nice if her Scribbler changed her again before she returned,” Valentine said. “Into a sleeping corpse.”
“That. Is mean,” Sabre muttered to which V saluted.
“Well, the Scribbler gods did not hear your prayers,” Poe muttered as the woman exited the building. She stopped and looked around, smiling up at the sky.
“Look at that,” V said. “Like her Scribbler gave her ADD then promptly passed out on narcotics. If you do your little trick, can you make it so they don’t pick up another writing utensil ever again?”
Poe knew he jested but certainly understood and even entertained it.
“Heavens,” Valentine said exasperated. “Look at her, she’s helping strangers!”
“You act like that’s a crime!” Sabre cried back.
“It’s not,” Valentine said, “but this really isn’t that, is it? This is more a shiny ball syndrome. Let’s see how long it takes her to make it back to the car.”
“Everything is new to her,” Sabre reminded.
“Well, if we didn’t have a realm to save, brother,” Valentine reminded, “I might actually wait.” Valentine pressed the steering column and Poe jumped at the sudden blare of a horn. As did the girl. Then she eyed them and covered her mouth.
“Laughing,” Poe mused, watching her run to the vehicle. “Laughing and laughing.”
“Oh yes, and clapping and gasping,” Valentine added.
“Be nice,” Sabre grit, shoving Valentine’s shoulder as she opened the back door.
“I think I’m done,” she said. “I really didn’t know what to do with those weird things in the little rooms inside the bathroom? It had water in it so I figured maybe it was for drinking.
“God! No!” Sabre cried.
“I wasn’t thirsty,” she said, looking at him.
“It’s not for drinking!” Sabre said, his voice lower.
“Oh, what’s it for?” she asked lightly.
“Yeah, Sabre, what’s it for?” Valentine asked, starting the car.
“It’s for…”
“It’s a waste disposal,” Poe helped. “You dispel body wastes in it.”
“Right!” Sabre said, overjoyed. “Thank you, Poe,” he said directly at Valentine.
“Happy to help.”
“Speaking of that,” Sabre said looking at the girl who was back to studying the world outside the windows. “Hey…” He finally touched her shoulder to get her attention and Poe realized he had to. He had no name to address her by. Hey you, hey girl. Hey lady.
She turned to him with an eager smile and Poe noticed that even Sabre pulled back a little from her enigmatic, extroverted personality.
“If you could be any character you wanted to be… forever… what would it be?” Sabre asked her.
She considered for a second. “Any character?”
“Any,” he said.
“Hmmmm,” she thought before turning to Valentine. “What do you think, V? You’re smart, what should I be?”
“Not something I can decide for you,” he said, happy to not help as usual.
“Maybe just ideas?” she asked. “I don’t really know what I should be. I mean I would want to be something… important, right? Amazing too?”
“Do you like who you are now?” It just felt rude to not at least show that they accepted her as she was.
“I’m sure she doesn’t,” Valentine said. “She has nothing…” He paused as though hearing the cruelty in the words. “She has no story.”
“Do you think… I can be me like I am? I like this character. Oh!” she said. “What if I can be me only with more… of the things I actually need?”
“You had a lot of fun being that boy with the dog,” Valentine reminded.
“If she wants to be a girl, let her,” Poe said, facing the angry glare of Valentine. “It’s not something we should influence.”
Valentine rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Whatever, just hurry up, we’ve got things to do.”
“So you’d lik
e to be you as you are,” Sabre double checked.
The girl beamed her smile and nodded. “But with more stuff.” She slid her gaze toward Valentine. “Stuff he likes,” she whispered.
“Well, if I get a say—“
“You don’t,” Sabre cut him off.
“But, I don’t mind if—”
“Well, I do!” Sabre cut her off too. “Rider?”
Poe sighed and opened his door. He gazed around, feeling like they needed to at least go park somewhere different. He opened the back door and peered in. “Should we maybe go somewhere besides the fuel pumps?”
“It’ll take five minutes,” Sabre said in light exasperation.
Poe sighed as he got in the back seat and shut the door. “I’ll need you,” he shot out to Sabre who had the audacity to try and leave him to do it all.
“For what?” he asked, more impatience.
“You sit there,” Poe insisted.
“Why?”
“Yes, sit your ass down,” Valentine agreed with a tickled chuckle.
“Because I asked you to.” Sabre shut the door back and Poe added, “And because I’m being nice, and you’re being nice. You understand how this works?”
Valentine laughed. “Give and take, Sabre.”
“Shut your blood trap,” Sabre told Valentine before turning to Poe. “I understand, Rider.” He nodded with a small grin. “I get it.”
Poe nodded in return. “Good then.”
“What do I do?” the girl asked.
Right, that. He didn’t want to hold her hand. Maybe he could just touch her shoulder. “Second thought, let me borrow some of that energy of yours,” Poe said to Sabre. “Just to be on the safe side.”
“Will do,” he said.
Poe eyed him as he rested an arm over the back of the seat and propped his leg over a knee. Clearly that would require zero effort of him. Poe looked at the girl who was being very patient. “Just sit still,” he told her. “And close your eyes.”
Chapter Nineteen
She did with a nod and Poe touched her shoulder, closing his eyes as he did. Oddly, the energy source in the girl was off the charts and reckless. He noticed Sabre’s energy on the other side of her and he reached with his mind, pulling some of that into the mix. He then laced his power with Sabre’s and wasted no time tackling hers. He subdued it rather quickly then began tracing it down to the connection between character and Scribbler. At finding it, he took a deep breath and spoke. Finish this character. Make her intelligent. Loving. Kind. Fun. Strong. Brave. And make her not like Valentine. Poe paused, narrowing his gaze. He’d not thought that. Fine, let her like Valentine. Poe quickly finished before Sabre could interfere more and cause him to lose the connection. And do not publish this story.
Poe braced for the explosion of power that usually blinded him, but it was Sabre’s white energy that blasted it through the reversal process. It threw Poe against the car door, no, it removed him and Poe was sure for his protection. The power in it was phenomenal. He looked at Sabre when it was done, finding him in the exact same relaxed position from before.
How in the realms was he that strong?
“Did you start?” the girl asked, opening one eye.
Did they start? Poe eyed Sabre who gave him wide, defensive blue eyes. “I had to protect her.”
Mother of Divinities! Surely his Scribbler hadn’t made him that strong. No, this was far more. Mr. Sabre had been busy extending his life and other things. Poe wanted to know what those other things were.
Poe stared at her, remembering she’s asked a question and was drawing a complete blank as to what it was now.
“It’ll take a few days to set in,” Sabre said.
“Right,” Poe said. “Yes, a few days and it’ll… it’ll begin to take hold.” Divinities, what would they do now?
“Blondie,” Valentine called to the girl. “How about you run in and get something to eat for the trip?”
“Food?” she asked then seemed to remember. “Right, I should practice eating.” Her smile vanished then. “I don’t have money. You said you had to have money, I remember you telling me,” she reminded him.
Valentine handed back a wad of bills and she hurried out the car, skipping along like a child.
“Well?” Valentine asked, putting his arm on the back of the seat and turning to face them.
Poe regarded Sabre who gestured with a hand that he tell. “It’s done.”
“Good. So, what are we doing with her?”
“Bringing her to her province,” Sabre said.
“Which is?”
Poe eyed Sabre, realizing that had changed and judging by the way Sabre took a deep breath and let it out discreetly, he realized the same in that very second.
“Which iiiiiis?” Valentine said again.
“Which is in the opposite direction of where we’re headed.”
“Good, so we find a place for her in the city,” Valentine said, as though he’d already known that.
“Give me my phone,” Sabre muttered to Poe.
Just as he handed it to him, it rang and Sabre looked at it then handed it back to Poe. “It’s your sweetheart,” he muttered.
Poe was too happy about that to wonder over the tone he heard in his voice. Wasn’t positive. Poe hurried out of the car for privacy and filled the Scribbler in.
“Great, so let me get this straight,” she said. “You’ll be with a beautiful, smart—“
“No, no,” Poe cut her off. “Don’t do that.”
“Uuuugh!” she growled in the phone. “I hate being stuck here while you’re out there with… out me.”
“You can’t loathe it more than me.”
“You do loathe it?”
“More than I have measurement for.” Poe smiled at the little happy laugh she gave.
“So you guys are dropping her off somewhere?”
“Sabre was about to call somebody about that when you rang.”
“Okay, well let him call and then call me back.”
“Will do.”
Poe got back in the car and handed the phone back to Sabre who took it and began sliding his finger over the screen before putting it to his ear.
Poe listened to him call several people, all of whom sounded like dead ends on helping him out.
“She can stay at my house,” Valentine offered after the third no-go call. “I don’t care, as long as I’m not in it when she is.”
“We can’t leave her like she is on her own. We’ll need to at least wait until…”
“She gets a brain?” Valentine offered.
“Until she can take care of herself,” Sabre said, his tone turning brutal.
After a moment of silence, Poe mused, “As a semi-caring bystander, I feel I should warn you that you’re extension on life is wearing thin.”
“You feeling that too?” Sabre said, his anger still boiling.
“I am,” Poe mused, eyeing the busy traffic of the fuel station.
Valentine gave a loud singular laugh. “You and what army, you fictional vagabond?”
“This is your first and only warning. If you say one more cross word to or about that character, I will kick your bloody ass in, or out, of storyland.”
If it hadn’t been that Sabre seemed attached to the character prior to her being female, Poe would have thought his emotional investment was of a romantic nature. But he was inclined to think it was more than that now.
“I’d love to see you try,” Valentine said, unmoved as he fiddled with the buttons on the dash to produce a blaring, booming clamor, ricocheting throughout the car. Valentine grinned at him as he bobbed his head in motion to the racket, making his red hair thrash about. “Heavy metal,” he yelled at him over the musical catastrophe.
White light flashed through the car and the music stopped. “I want some peace and quiet,” Sabre muttered. “Not in the mood for your train wreck of sound gyrating to the pulse of a mindless monster.”
Poe couldn’t hold back his snicke
r when he looked at Valentine. The top layer of his unbound hair levitated around his head. “Sorry,” Poe said, fighting not to laugh but failing to keep it from sputtering out. “It’s like you’ve been electrocuted,” Poe was full out laughing and trying to speak around it now. “And your angry face…” He bent over from laughing so hard, and Sabre was now joining in. Poe held his hand toward Valentine in a silent plea to not assault him as he fought to catch his breath. “Your angry face,” he tried again, the words breaking free in a howl. “Is just so priceless.”
Valentine smoothed the hairs down, glaring at Poe. “It’s because my hair absorbs power. My whole body does.” he explained.
But the angry mumbling tone he used to explain the comical picture made Poe laugh even more. And Sabre was full out laughing now too.
Valentine got out of the car and slammed the door shut. At the same moment, it felt like he’d gotten a bucket full of something splashed in his face. Poe sputtered and blinked, looking down and seeing red. He looked at Sabre and found his face and head covered in blood as well. Drenched.
A moment of dumbfounded silence preceded their explosion of laughter as they watched the Blood Guardian stalk toward the store.
Poe had to admit Valentine was leaning too much on his natural abilities to be an ass. He had plenty capacity to be at least mannered and he was choosing not to be. Poe wasn’t impressed one bit with that. He’d fully earned his silly little offense.
“Yuck,” Sabre finally managed between laughter.
“Indeed,” Poe said.
“If I wasn’t so disgusted, I would let it dry and sit in it so he’s forced to smell it.”
“I would imagine he’s immune,” Poe suggested, looking around.
“I see a water hose,” Sabre said. “Come on.”
Sabre and Poe ran to the side of the fuel station and quickly proceeded to hose themselves off.
“Now we’re just drenched, but clean,” Poe said, shaking the water from his hair.
“Check this out,” Sabre said. He reached over with his pointer finger and Poe drew away.
“What? What are you going to do?”
“Well, I’m not marking you, if that’s what you’re thinking,” he said with laughter in his eyes before touching Poe’s shoulder with a finger.