by L. E. Bross
“Glitter Fish, Princess,” Kalian said, coming to stand beside me. Warmth brushed over my skin at his closeness and I fought the urge to step even closer. “They are responsible for keeping the waters of Alcaria clean to drink.”
“This is Alcaria?”
The question was an aside. The smiling fish held my complete attention. They played some strange version of leapfrog across the small stream and seemed not to have a care in the world. How nice it must be to have that freedom.
“No, this is not Alcaria's land. I saved one hundred fish and brought them here to the Hidden Springs, until they can return when Alcaria is once again restored. But this is not their home and these waters cannot nourish them like they need. Half of them have already died.” Sadness pulled his mouth down into a frown.
A lump lodged in my throat. Those tiny creatures so full of life had died? “What happens if they all die?” I asked.
“Then Glitter Fish will be no more.”
I watched the fish play and my chest constricted with grief. They would be gone but I didn't know why. I didn't know anything.
“What happened? I don't understand any of what's going on and I'm tired of people blaming me or telling me what to do. I want to know everything. Why you're made of stone on one side and like this on the other. Why someone wants to kill me.”
My voice broke on the last part and I looked away to collect myself. I wasn't going to cry again. I had my moment of weakness and it wasn't going to happen again.
“It's part of the curse.” His wings dipped until the ends brushed the ground. “When you left Alcaria, the kingdom was without a ruler and a faery realm without a king or queen succumbs to the Sleep of Stone. All of Alcaria, the fields, the animals, the people, all became stone over the first century.”
“How long has it been like that?”
“Almost a thousand years.”
He had to be kidding. Was he really trying to tell me I was a thousand years old? He must have seen the doubt on my face.
“Time moves differently here. In human time it's only been ten years. You were eight when you left us. When your mother died and your father disappeared, the throne fell to you and then, well, you were gone before you could be named true heir.”
None of it made sense. What sane person would ever choose to leave this place? Who would choose squalor over color and life? Despite the wings on my back, Kalian had to be wrong. He had to have the wrong person. I was not royalty.
“My mother's a prostitute and my father was just some random John who paid for a piece of ass. If I'm some kind of faery princess, why would I ever leave?”
“I don't know. You ran away the night of the attack. We assumed you were scared, that you would return. You didn't.” His head hung lower now. “We never lost hope but as the kingdom slowly turned to stone, I had to do something. I started to look for you, spending more and more time in the human world, but you saw the price. The curse followed me there. I could only search at night and I didn't know if you were even in the city. The arch is the gateway between the human world and the Light, so I hoped you had not gone far.”
If he'd been around during the day, he'd see just how close I'd really been. The arch that was my haven was also the gateway to this place, this world where he said I belonged. It had been right there all along.
“You looked for me?”
“Every night for the last two hundred years. The night on the roof, something had shifted and I could suddenly feel a small part of you that had never been there before. Almost like you were wishing for me to find you and bring you home.”
A wish. A chill raced down my spine. I remember wanting to belong somewhere, aching to be more than I was. What if? What if really were...
Tell me, tell me I belong somewhere where people want me. Where I mean something.
Oh god, had I really brought Kalian to the roof that night?
But the shadows, the gargoyle, this beautiful man before me, they all expected something from me. I'd spent my life trying not to be anyone special and I didn't have the strength to fight years of my reality.
“I can't be what you want.” I looked around again, at the color and life, and a sudden image of the Wildflower Meadow filled my head. It had been like this until my presence did something to it. I caused the flowers to die. I took away the life from all those living plants.
I'd felt dead inside that day.
The day the shadows left me alone.
I realized that's what they wanted. They had waited my entire life for me to give up and when I did, they didn't need to haunt me anymore. With every breath it became clearer. The only way to protect all this life around me was to go home and forget. Forget who I was and what I was and that I'd ever even been here.
Forget that in another world, I was someone important.
“Take me home,” I said, turning my back to the pond.
“But Princess, this is your home,” Kalian argued.
“It's too much pressure. I'll give all this to you and you can be the king or whatever they need. Evelina can teach me how to hide myself and then everyone wins.”
“I'm afraid it's not that simple. Only royal blood can rule a kingdom and I do not have any. There is no one left in your lineage, you are the last of the Summer Court. The last of the Light Royals of Alcaria.
“There is no one else who can take the throne?”
“Of course there is, there is always someone waiting.”
I threw up my hands. “Great! So let them do it.”
His eyes narrowed. “They are the same ones who sent the attackers. They are dark and would would destroy everything that is good. If the Dark Courts claim Alcaria, the balance will shift. The Light will be no more. We need you, Princess Meri.”
I could feel weight pressing down on my shoulders with every word he said.
“I can't. You don't understand that, and clearly I'm not this person you think I am. My family is supposed to represent the light?” A harsh laugh came out of my mouth. “I'm not light. I'm not good. I'm not this creature.”
“But you are! Do you think a human would be okay with all that has happened? You've discovered you're not of that world, yet you're not afraid. You know deep down that this is the real you.”
That stopped me. Why wasn't I freaking out? When I woke up in Evelina's home, when a dog talked to me, hell when a gargoyle appeared on my roof, why had none of it been more than a blip to me? A normal person would have checked into a psych ward, yet I not only went with it, I walked through some kind of portal to another world.
And I was arguing with a man fairy.
“It doesn't matter.”
“You need to accept it, embrace it and become the leader we need.”
“That's the problem,” I shouted, jumping to my feet. “I'm not a leader!”
Kalian moved faster than I could follow, until he stood nose to nose with me. “You are a queen. You belong here as much as any of us. This is your home.”
“No, this is your home. My home is New York City. The real world, remember? You brought me here, I saw the place and now I want to leave. Evelina can show me how to hide and this will all be over.” And everything would be safe.
If I looked around, I was afraid I would beg to stay, so I kept my gaze locked on my feet. Every atom in my body ached to stay. I knew this was where I belonged, knew it with every fiber of my being, but that only proved that I had to leave. Want equaled darkness and shadows, and I wasn't going to bring them here.
“Wait. I need to show you one more thing.” When I started to argue, he held up his hand. “I promise. I give you my oath as a Royal Guard, that after I show this to you, if you still want to leave, I will take you home.”
Were all faeries so convincing? A solemn expression filled his face and he grabbed my hand.
“Faeries cannot lie. Come, let me show you your home. Your real home.”
Panic flared inside me, but before I could pull away, he took off and we sped across the mead
ow. I swear my feet barely touched the ground, it was almost as if we were flying. Then I realized we were. My wings had stretched out behind me, and I giggled before I could rein it in.
I'd always wanted to fly and now I was.
So not fair.
We came to the edge of the meadow and slowed, my feet touching back down in the soft grass. Kalian tugged my hand and we stepped into the trees. Huge majestic oaks quickly parted for us, and then closed behind us. I didn't have time to wonder, because Kalian pulled me deeper into the forest.
Where the trees were…talking?
Her. She has returned.
Branches swayed and lowered as we moved past. It almost seemed as if the trees were bowing to me. When they straightened, the one closest to me, it smiled? I bit back a scream and moved closer to Kalian.
“What are those?”
“Druids. Tree spirits. They are the protectors of the forest. They keep the line between the Light and Dark Courts safe though they themselves are neither.”
His words made no sense, but I still watched the great trunks from the corner of my eye. The whispers spread through the leaves and before I knew it, other creatures gathered, peering curiously at me as we walked past.
The trees gave way to a clearing, and the first thing I realized was that the color had stopped. Like someone drew a line and on one side life in all its glory shone, on the other, nothing.
Kalian's easy steps slowed. I felt a new heaviness settle around him. What was this place? It was obvious he didn't want to be here, the pain on his face dampened his earlier enthusiasm. Why had he brought me here?
“Where are we?” I whispered.
But then we were free from the trees and a large castle stood silent in the middle of the area, almost seeming to float on a cloud of gray fog. No sign of life could be seen at all. Even the air felt heavy and lifeless. It echoed the feeling of nothingness that had filled every minute of every day of my life, and I felt sad for this place.
“You don't recognize it?” he asked without looking at me.
I shook my head, but in truth, it did feel strangely familiar.
“This is your home,” he said. “This is Alcaria, the Summer Court of Light.”
Except it was dark now and full of a despair so thick it clung to my skin.
For the first time since this all started, I believed Kalian.
This dead place was home.
Chapter 9
I ran away from Kalian, from my home, without guidance. My feet and memory seemed to know the way and I let them both go. Trees swayed and parted, steering my flight through the dense wood. I went where they wanted, my only thought to get away from the place that tugged on my insides.
That begged me closer even as it threatened to drown me in sorrow.
I ran from Kalian who had looked at me so expectantly, his face so full of hope that I couldn't meet his gaze. I wasn't the person to bring life back to this place. Not when my insides reflected the reality before my eyes.
I didn't realize I was crying until I brushed my hand across my face, and it came back wet. I hated how vulnerable this place made me. My emotions were all over the place, the walls I'd erected years ago to protect myself were crumbling faster than I could fix them. I needed normal. I needed whiskey and my roof and…
A sob wrenched from my throat.
I needed Torin.
His strength and confidence and promises he'd take care of me, that everything would be okay. But they may never be. He might never again tell me that I am his heart. I stopped and sank to my knees. I might never get to tell him despite how I acted on the outside, that he was my heart as well.
That I loved him.
My heart ached inside my chest, so badly that I wanted to burst apart into a million pieces. I closed my eyes and dug my fingers into the earth. Tried to ground myself, gasping for air. On each inhale I pulled something up through my hands. The tingly feeling crept through my veins and in its wake, calmness remained. The erratic breaths in and out slowed. The pain in my chest eased and I felt the broken pieces inside starting to heal.
I lost myself in the warmth of life flowing through the ground into my body.
“Meri!”
A voice somewhere in the dense fog.
A body slammed into me and the euphoria ended abruptly. I leapt to my feet, a growl on my lips and met Kalian's horrified gaze.
“What have you done?” he gasped.
I looked at the spot I'd been kneeling, and the warmth pulsing in my blood turned cold. The ground where I'd been kneeling was blackened and dead now. As if the life had been pulled... oh god. I looked at my fingers, at my skin luminescent and shining with vitality.
Kalian took a tentative step closer.
“Only a Dark can steal life,” he whispered.
“I didn't mean to. I don't know how…” I couldn't see past the panic in my head. If this wasn't proof enough that I couldn't stay here, I don't know what was. Even Kalian had to see it now. I took a step toward him and he stumbled back.
The wariness in his eyes killed me.
Before I knew what I was doing, I turned and ran again. I had no idea where I was going, but my feet carried me deeper still until I came to a stop in front of an enormous tree. I reached out my hand and touched a burly knot. The base of the trunk shimmered and a hollow appeared.
Chills raced up my spine. How had I known to do that?
A noise from behind sent me into the dark hole, and I crouched there, my back to the rough bark. I couldn't face Kalian, not after what I'd done. So, like a child, I hid my gaze behind my hands so he couldn't see me.
Kalian came into view and called out my name, but I remained silent. He looked around and when he turned towards my tree, I could see the concern on his face through my fingers. I braced for my discovery. For the accusations that I knew would come.
He said my name once more then disappeared to the right. I counted in slow exhales to ten. There had to be a way out of this place. We came in through the arch, so there was an exit. Kalian said it was the bridge between the worlds just had to find it before he found me.
I kept my hands tucked tightly against my stomach to avoid touching the ground and inhaled the musty scent of earth, moss, and darkness. The tingle of familiarity set the hairs on my arms dancing. Not from fear though; I knew this place was safe.
I'd hidden here before.
Hours passed and still I sat inside the tree. Did night fall in this place? Would the shadows appear once the sun was gone? If they did, could this tree hide me from them like it did with Kalian? A movement in the corner of my eye caught my attention, and I leaned forward, looking out into the woods. It was a pixie girl, like the one I had seen in the Outskirts. She looped-de-loop in the air, and I could hear her jubilant giggles even inside the tree.
Her voice filled with happiness, and I couldn't help but smile. A blue bird joined her, and they seemed to dance in midair, racing to the tops of the trees only to shoot toward the ground, pulling up at the last second. A race. It was the tiny pixie's sheer abandon that enraptured me. So carefree. No worries. Existing for pure joy. I didn't realize my breath had seized in my throat until the burning of my lungs reminded me to inhale.
The bird chirped and shot from sight. The pixie waved before going back to her casual loops. So caught up in her happiness, I missed the shadow detaching from the trees on the left, and then it was too late to warn her.
A huge hand shot out and grabbed her, deformed fingers curling around her body, holding her tight. A deep ugly laugh rumbled from the belly of the creature. Two more joined the first, hulking beasts that lumbered, their limbs way out of proportion to their bodies. Horns curled from their heads, almost touching in front of turned up noses that appeared squashed against their fat faces.
Even hidden, I could smell their putrid breath.
Sharp teeth glistened with saliva when they all laughed. The pixie struggled against the beast’s fingers, but at a thousand times smaller, she ha
d no chance of escape.
I crouched, frozen in my hiding spot. Helplessness consumed me as I watched. Memories of my own attack filled my head until I couldn't separate her pain from my own. Each breath was an act of sheer willpower.
One beast poked a finger in her face, and she squealed in fear, sending her tormentors into another round of rough laughter. One grunted, and the third stepped closer, pinching his fingers together behind the pixie. Her agonized screams filled the forest and I watched in horror as he ripped her wings off her body.
More laughter, and the beast grabbed her arm and pulled, tossing it to the ground. A real life Barbie doll in the hands of a bunch of boys intent on destroying her.
I covered my ears but her screeches of pain filled my head. Why? I rocked back on my heels, helpless. They were torturing her on purpose, slowly tearing her apart like a bug and enjoying her pain.
Tears soaked my cheeks. When they spread her between two of them and pulled her completely apart, her screams finally stopped. I turned and retched into the darkness. My stomach now empty, I looked out and saw her dismembered body in tiny pieces on the ground. The creatures were already lumbering off into the trees, grunting and laughing.
I staggered from the hollow tree as soon as they were out of sight and fell to my knees next to her. Her gossamer wings disintegrated between my shaking fingers when I tried to pick them up.
“Meri?” a voice said behind me, but I couldn't look at him.
“Those things…did this. Why?”
A sob shook my body. I felt Kalian's warmth behind me, but he didn't reach out. He was scared of me, of the darkness inside.
“Light doesn't exist without Darkness, Meri,” he said. “It's the balance that needs to exist, but it's why we need equal parts of both. It's why we need the Summer Court restored or else this will happen over and over.”
He stepped around me and picked up the pieces of the pixie, setting them gently in his hand. His face pinched tight in pain, and a single tear slipped down his cheek. He murmured something then waved his hand over her and blue flames sprang to life, consuming the body in seconds.