by L. E. Bross
“Who is King K'Alil?” Immediately I had one amused and one incredulous glance thrown my way.
“Your father,” said Nephaste.
“You said you remembered,” said Torin at the same time.
“I only remembered what happened after I stepped through the arch. Into New York. I still don't know what happened before that.”
Torin paced the room, his elegant steps eating up the distance between the bed and the window, yet always between Nephaste and I. Always the protector. Finally he turned his purple stare on me.
“Your father believed that there was a middle ground, a place where Light and Dark could come together and make peace. Yes, there are some Courts,” Torin paused and glared at Nephaste, “the Dusk Court of Ularien being the biggest, that only care about embracing the most basic urges and think there should be no rules at all. But others are tired of the unrest and animosity.”
Nephaste laughed. So hard that he doubled over and for a moment, I thought he might not catch his breath. When he stood, the biggest grin had spread over his face.
“Listen to yourself, Torin. How can you argue against all the things we have? What we are? Unlike the Light Courts—unlike Alcaria—we have not crumbled. We do not want for anything. Every whim is instantly catered to. Every desire at our fingertips. You want to bog us down under an oppressive set of rules, of things we can't do or have. Why? For her? If you want her so much, why not take her. Possession is ninety-nine percent of our laws. No one cares if she is with you by force or choice.”
Torin growled and took a step towards Nephaste, who held up his hand.
“Think about why you do this, why you truly chose to turn your back on your side. Because that’s what you’re doing. Her father is dead, her mother gone. She stands to inherit the most powerful Light kingdom. The Dawn Court is within grasp, and by aligning with the Princess, the claim is irrefutable, yet you risk everything, sacrifice your own people to Queen Ariela's whim, to hide away with her in the human world. It’s time to make a choice, Torin.”
“The Queen…” Torin began but Nephaste cut him off.
“The Queen will not tolerate defection nor will she stand to be united with a Light Court house. The treaty was never going to happen. Her father was as good as dead the moment he stepped outside the boundaries of Alcaria and you know that.”
My stomach twisted into knots.
Torin remained quiet and Nephaste watched him. A smile slowly crawled over his face. “Or did you know that? You were there when the Princess ran away. Coincidence, or is it possible that all these years you’ve been waiting patiently, making her fall in love with you so that she would hand everything over to you?”
Torin’s expression grew darker, fists clenched at his side.
I waited for him to deny it, but he glared at Nephaste. I didn't like this turn of conversation. The way Torin wouldn't look me in the eye now. Dread pooled in my gut and I took a shaky step towards him.
“Is that true? Is that why you never told me what I was?”
“Mer, you made me promise never to let you remember.” He looked at me, his eyes filled with regret and something else. Something that made my blood run cold.
“I was eight! Don’t you think I had a right to know when I could understand? I lived in hell all those years and you never told me there was something else out there for me? I wanted to belong somewhere, be someone, and you let me think I was nothing! Why, damn you?”
Nephaste grinned and sank back against the doorjamb even further. “Yes, please enlighten her. She needs to see we are not so very different after all. We both want her for our own purposes. You can't lie to her.”
Torin shot daggers at Nephaste.
“It's none of your concern,” he ground out. “Leave.”
Nephaste lifted an eyebrow and didn’t move. “Why shouldn't she know that you were waiting. Waiting for Midsummer’s Eve. Tricking her every single day into thinking you cared then returning to your Queen to plot against Alcaria. Why did you promise Queen Ariela that the Daw Court would be hers soon? Under her rule?”
My legs shook and I grabbed onto the mantle to keep from falling. I waited for Torin to explain, to deny everything, but my skin grew tighter as he refused to meet my stare. No, he couldn’t have done what Nephaste said.
He...loved me?
The only kind of love you’ll find is when a man’s between your legs. People like us don’t get happy ever after.
My mother’s words came back to haunt me. I glanced at the painting. True words from a false mother.
“Enough, Nephaste,” Torin said between clenched teeth. “It wasn't like that. Mer...”
Torin finally looked at me, the agony of truth in his eyes sucker punched me in the gut.
“Then why else would you glamour her like you did? Oh I knew as soon as Evelina called me to help that it was elf work. She couldn't have hidden herself that well. You are the one who kept her hidden all those years. Made her forget.” Nephaste stepped into the room and Torin moved between him and me. “Did you plot to take Alcaria before or after you were sleeping with our beautiful Dark Queen?”
“Enough,” Torin roared. “You are spinning lies, Nephaste. Mer, let me explain.”
Torin reached for me but I stumbled back. Everything Nephaste said bounced around in my head. Torin was sleeping with the leader of the dark court? He kept me cloaked and helped me forget and spun lies in my ears until I believed he loved me. Kalian was right, Torin was after Alcaria all along.
His betrayal took my breath away. The room started to spin and they were both there, one on each side, holding me up.
My protector. The one who was supposed to keep me safe. The one I trusted.
The murderer. The manipulator. The one who made it clear what he wanted, but did not lie to me.
“My dear,” Nephaste said, taking several quick steps until he stood in front of me, blocking out Torin. “If you would truly like to return to your precious city, to your human home, there is a way that I think would be beneficial to us both.”
“No!” Torin shouted. “Mer stop and listen to me…”
Nephaste ignored him and kept talking. “You don't want any of this? You simply want to go back, correct?”
I nodded my head. I was numb. Nothing mattered at all anymore.
“And if you went back with say, enough money to live anywhere you wanted, could do anything you pleased, would that make you happy?”
Happy? I almost laughed but my throat was too tight to allow any sound. The thought of ever being happy was ridiculous. But maybe I could find a place where I didn’t have to look over my shoulder anymore.
“What about the monsters?” I whispered.
“I can guarantee no one will ever harm you out there. No one will look for you or try to make you come back. Once you have relinquished the throne, you will have no more obligation to our world—and with no ties to the throne, there's no reason for any monster to pursue you. You can live out your life in the human world as you wish. I have the power to ensure you are safe for eternity.”
It seemed too good to be true, what he offered. He was not a nice guy.
“No!” Torin shoved his way between me and Nephaste and gripped my shoulders tight. “Mer, you can't listen to him. He will destroy everything your parents wanted for you, everything they worked for.”
“And what about what you want, Torin?” My raised voice bounced around the room to slam back into us. Torin cringed.
“Mer, please listen to me.”
I was already halfway to the door and spun around and glared. “You lied to me. Every single day of my life you’ve know who I was and you’ve used that, you made me care about you…” My voice broke and I fought back the flush of tears. “What you did was unforgivable. You used me. The one person in my life that I trusted and it was all a joke.”
My laugh was anything but happy. I shoved Torin away from me and glared at him before turning to Nephaste.
“What do I
have to do? If I accept your offer, what do you want in return?” I ground out.
“Mer! Don’t do this,” Torin gasped. “I was there for you, I took care of you. And Merlin was there to keep you safe. I only hid you to protect you. There’s so much more you don’t know...”
I stood toe to toe with him and glared into his eyes.
“Did you tell Kalian to stay here and wait so that he would be turned to stone?”
“Yes, but…”
“Did you keep me from remembering so you could have all this one day?” I asked, waving my hand around the room. The breath lodged in my throat waiting for his answer. Say no, my mind pleaded. If he said no, I would believe him and somehow we would get through all this.
His gaze lowered. “Yes…but...”
I turned before he could finish. The last bit of hope died right there.
He never loved me. Everything he did was so he could have Alcaria. To give to some Queen who he’d been sleeping with. I wanted to be sick. I wanted to scream.
Instead I held my head high, ignored the now censorious stares of my parents, and gave my full attention to the enemy. Or at least, the enemy I trusted most now.
“Mer, you don't understand…” Torin called. “Nephaste is everything your father stood against. You have got to remember that.”
The only thing I knew was that I had no one to trust. Everyone wanted something from me, and I was tired of being pulled, of not being in charge of my choices. It ended right now.
“I'll go with you, Nephaste. But if for one second I think you're going to pull some funny shit, it's off. I get freedom when this is over, that is the deal.”
“Yes, of course, Princess.”
His fingers twined with mine, and he pulled me from the room. Warmth slithered up my arm and I yanked it away. Nephaste widened his eyes in mock question, but I saw amusement dancing there too.
“Mer, I never lied about the way I feel,” Torin said. His voice was low and I ignored the way it tugged at my heart. I wanted him to tell me that everything Nephaste said was a lie but he didn’t. That hurt most of all.
I stopped and turned. There were no more tears. It felt…absurdly normal to feel nothing again.
“I trusted you. And you turned out to be the biggest liar there is. At least I know what Nephaste wants.”
Torin’s eyes glistened with pain. “It's not what you think. Please just trust me.”
“Trust you? That’s not going to happen. I never want to see you again.”
I left with Nephaste, without looking back.
I didn't remember the trip back to the house. Everything was a blur and I fought back the urge to scream until I disappeared. Torin's betrayal cut so deep, it felt as if my whole insides were spilling out behind me. The last bits of hope died just as we reached Nephaste’s house.
There was nothing left. It didn't matter what happened now. I couldn't even will enough emotion to care that Kalian was gone. At least he didn’t have to see Alcaria fall.
I was just…dead inside. Like my people. My kingdom.
I was like them now, and nothing else mattered.
Three days later I hadn’t yet found the energy to haul myself out of bed. Three days of not eating, not moving. I wondered why I even bothered to breathe. The room had been put back exactly the way it was before I ransacked it. Even the tiny figurines I’d broken had been replaced with exact replicas.
Not that I cared.
As he had every day, Nephaste arrived just as the sun burst across the sky, the boggart on his heels with a tray of food. I watched with a strange sense of detachment as the boggart set the tray down and left. Nephaste lifted the gleaming silver cover and set it aside.
“Good morning, my dear.” Just like he had the past three, he greeted me. As if I hadn't ignored him every day since we got here. I may have agreed to go with him but that didn’t mean I had to tolerate his presence.
Annoyance flashed across his face before he got himself back under control. He handed me a steaming cup of coffee, but I turned my head away. It sloshed over the side when he slammed it back onto the table.
“Enough,” he growled.
“Or what,” I challenged him with a curl of my lip. “You'll kill me? Can't get what you want then, can you?”
His eyes narrowed. He seethed silently, obviously used to having the upper-hand. He didn't like me having all the power. Yet I could hardly bring myself to enjoy the moment—I could hardly bring myself to care about anything at all. I couldn't deal with this, it was all too much.
Before, when I felt empty, Torin was there with what I needed to forget. Except it had all been for his own benefit. The growing chasm of emptiness seemed to get bigger with every breath.
I was drowning in blackness and couldn't get my head above it. Didn't even want to. I shoved the tray, and it clattered to the floor, leaving food all over the rug. Nephaste growled when coffee sloshed over his pants. Good, I hoped it was hot and that it burned him.
Nephaste glared down at me.
“One week, Princess. After that you can hike to the highest mountain in the human world and live like a hermit for all I care, but you will play the doting bride on Midsummer’s Eve. You will make it convincing, and after I am crowned the new King of Alcaria, you will have the freedom you want and an unlimited supply of money.”
Like a petulant child, I stuck out my bottom lip. Yes his plan was that I was to marry him on Midsummer’s Eve. He told me just as we arrived and then locked me in my room. Not that it mattered. I just didn’t care anymore.
“The dressmakers will be here soon. Convince those gossip hungry harpies that you’re happy and I’ll sweeten our deal.”
“Why do I even need to convince anyone? Possession is nine tenths of the law right? And I thought anyone with royal blood could claim Alcaria after Midsummer’s Eve. Why go through all this when you can just take it?”
His jaw ticked as he sucked in a breath through his nose. “Because, the claim is ironclad if we marry, even more so if you are willing. Torin knew this. You are the heir and you are alive. By stepping forward you are accepting your rightful place. With me at your side, as your husband, no one can deny that I am also the ruler of Alcaria. And while Queens hold much more power, by relinquishing yours to me, to rule in your absence, I will be the one in charge. Alcaria will be mine.”
And under Dark Court rule.
I fought back the unease that made me feel as if I’d swallowed a lump of coal. It may have been my home, but it meant nothing to me. Nephaste watched me closely and his eyes narrowed.
“We have a deal, Princess.”
“I know that.”
He seemed to be thinking, then nodded as if he’d come to a decision. I tensed when he leaned closer. I wasn’t letting him get near enough to use his magic breath on me again. The light in his black eyes told me he knew it.
“How about a gift, Princess? When you give me the throne, I’ll give you your mother. You can take her back with you to the human realm. Instant family.”
Alert now, I sat up. “Katrina said my mother was gone. That she killed...”
“Yes, she killed your father. I was visiting the UnSeelie Court when your mother flew in, magnificent in her rage. She demanded to know who took her husband's life and when no one stepped forward, I offered my…services to help her. My plan was to gain her confidence and woo her. Alcaria would need a new king after all. I misjudged Katrina's motivation. A woman scorned is bad enough, a faery with a grudge is ruthless. I almost didn't stop her in time.”
His eyes blazed, and the fingers on his right hand clenched into a fist. I thought he would hit something. Then they slowly unclenched, and his face relaxed. The smile returned when he looked at me.
“But your mother was one of the most powerful faeries in the Light Court. Another reason your father wanted her instead of Katrina, I suppose. She was a much more worthy partner.” His mind went someplace else for a moment before his lips twisted into a scowl. “She wasn’
t moved by power, or having more of it, and I couldn’t convince her that I would be a much better King, no matter how many times I enchanted her.”
“But… if she is alive—then she is still queen.”
Nephaste waved a hand. “Your mother is… shall we say… incompetent. She barely remembers who she is, much less that she is a queen. And you saw Alcaria. It is truly without a ruler.”
My heart hammered against my chest, and there was a strange buzzing in my ears. “You have her?” The blanket slid from my grasp as I slipped past him from the bed. I still had on the leather clothing Torin had given me, as I barely got out of bed the past few days. “Is she here?”
“She is someplace safe. Play the part and soon, you could be reunited. You won’t be so alone anymore. You could have a family, real family finally.”
He knew just the words to say that would cut through everything and sink into my soul. I sat heavily on the bed.
“I’ll send someone to clean up this mess and will expect you to join me for dinner this evening.” His gaze roved over me. “Properly dressed of course.”
He shut the door but I didn’t hear the click of the lock this time. I supposed he had no reason. I was as much of a prisoner as if he had locked me in a cell in a dungeon. Except that the key was my mother.
My mother was alive.
I spent the afternoon picturing the face in the painting, trying to force myself to remember anything about her, but it was useless. Whatever kept the early memories from my mind was rock solid.
I made my way to the dining room at the time the boggart had told me I was expected. Nephaste didn’t fetch me this time and I knew he was testing me. He wanted to see if I was serious about being agreeable. I even chose a deep red gossamer gown that clung to my body in ways that made me blush. There was more skin exposed than covered, though the gown trailed along behind me.
Nephaste stood as I entered, and I felt the heat from his gaze across the room.