by M. J. Haag
All eyes turned to me. Harry and Carol were visibly less than pleased with my participation in the conversation. Harry opened his mouth to speak first.
“They have a responsibility to—”
“No, they don’t. This attitude of entitlement is why the fey aren’t helping you.”
Carol turned red.
“Bullshit. Mya is why they aren’t helping. She spread her legs to get control of them. Given your well-fed appearance, I’m guessing you’re doing the same.”
“Enough,” Garrett said, slamming his hand down on the table.
“There’s food in the cupboard. If you want me to keep going out, you’ll show some respect to the people I bring into this house.” He leaned toward Carol. “No matter who they are or what they look like.”
Her mouth thinned, but she said nothing.
Garrett held out his hand to me.
“Let’s go for a walk.”
I willingly escaped with him. As we were leaving, the rest of his housemates came up the walk. They nodded to Garrett and glanced at me, lacking the open hostility of the other two.
“Any destination in mind?” he asked when we got to the end of the road. “We should be fine to go back in an hour. After they eat, they usually go to bed.”
I gave it a thought. There wasn’t really anywhere for me to go. Not with Shax entertaining Hannah. I briefly thought of Cassie but dismissed the idea. I hated the idea of bothering her for a place to sleep when she already had her hands full with kids and stray fey popping in to play with the kids.
“I don’t know. I’m a bit homeless at the moment. Maybe we could just wander around for a bit?”
“You can stay with me tonight. I don’t mind sharing the bed. After weeks with a sleeping bag on a cot, a full-sized bed seems a bit too big.”
“I don’t think that’d be a good idea. Every time I’m there, you have to calm everyone down.”
“I’m sorry they acted like that,” he said quietly as we walked down the street. “They’re just scared.”
“We all are, but not everyone is acting out like an asshole because of it.” I looked up at the stars, marveling that I could still see them with all the light in the sky. A low moan echoed in the night. I’d grown so used to the sound, I barely noticed it anymore.
“Did you really kill two dozen infected today?”
“Probably that many just to get away from Tolerance. The car lights draw them in overnight. It was a little better on the way back. There’s someone here with a bow who’s a really good shot.”
I looked at the walls.
“We’re surrounded, then. Trapped in a way.”
He reached out and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.
“No. Not trapped. People leave every day. The fey help us.”
“Has anyone turned while trying to leave?”
His slow exhale answered for him.
“It’s not as bad as it sounds.”
“Just be careful, okay?”
He nodded and released me.
“Oh, I forgot to tell you. The radishes are starting to sprout.”
“That’s great. Mya said something about having the fey look for more lights. Maybe we can set up some kind of growing lab in the basement.”
A distant howl rose. Another joined it. Then another.
“Three,” he said. “Guess we know how many hearts those two fey brought back.”
I shivered at the sound, and Garrett glanced at me.
“I think you need to pick a spot and stay in for the rest of the night. My bed’s open. And not in any weird, implied way.”
I smiled.
“Thanks. But I think I’ll try Shax’s place first.”
“You sure?”
I nodded.
“I’ll walk with you, then. If he doesn’t answer the door, we’ll go back to my place. No arguments. You’ll have a harder time falling asleep once the hounds get closer.”
I knew he was right. We veered toward that end of Tolerance and walked in silence for several long moments.
“I’m sure this will be fine,” I said as we approached Shax’s house.
“This feels awkward, doesn't it? Or am I the only one who’s worried about knocking on the guy's door and interrupting something. I've seen fey mad.”
I chuckled.
“Yeah, you might want to stand back.”
“How are you so calm about this? I’m more nervous now than I was leaving this morning.”
“Shax won't do anything to me because I'm a girl. And Hannah won't do anything because she gets it. We're all stuck living with people we don't necessarily want to live with. Privacy went out the window the moment the world fell to shit. Sure, it’d be nice to be able to have a house to yourself, but it's not practical. She knows that, too.”
“I suppose you're right.”
Yet, when we reached the sidewalk, Garrett’s steps slowed. Mine did too. And my hesitation had nothing to do with fear. I just didn't want to see Shax pinning Hannah to the wall as he had me.
It sucked having nowhere else to go.
Something must have shown on my face because Garrett reached out when we stopped in front of the door. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in for a hug.
“I don't think life was ever meant to be easy. But, I don't think it was meant to be this damn hard either,” he said softly against my hair.
I nodded against him.
“I—”
The door flew open with a bang, startling us apart.
I looked up at Shax’s angry expression as he glared at Garrett. A low growl rumbled in the air.
“Ah…” Garrett said nervously.
Taking a quick sidestep, I positioned myself in front of my friend.
“Sorry for interrupting your night, Shax. But, I was wondering if I could stay here again, after all. Garrett’s housemates came home and—”
Shax plucked me off my feet and carried me inside, slamming the door behind him.
“I'll see you tomorrow,” Garrett called through the closed panel.
“You didn't have to say yes,” I said, noting Shax’s still angry expression. I glanced around the room and didn't see Hannah.
“Where is she?” I asked.
He didn't answer. He just marched right up the stairs.
“Seriously, Shax, I don't need to stay. I didn't mean to make you angry.”
He continued his stony silence all the way into my bedroom where he plopped me on the bed. He leaned in, and nose-to-nose, he growled softly.
“Your place is here.”
“Okay. I'm a little lost. What happened? Did things not go well with Hannah?”
He eased back a few inches.
“I need to know more about being the kind of man a female wants. The kind of man who gets panties to melt.”
“I have been teaching you everything I know.”
He growled again, his frustration and anger very plain.
“It's not enough.”
“Should I leave?”
“No.” He reached down and stroked a palm over my belly. “I need you.”
I softened a little and leaned toward him. I could imagine how disappointed he was to have Hannah show up and then leave again.
“I'm sorry it didn’t go well, Shax.” He grunted and stood abruptly.
“I don't want to talk about Hannah anymore.”
“All right.” I toed off my shoes as he considered me.
The intensity of his gaze made me wonder just what was going through his head.
“Do I kiss well? You never told me.”
I tried to smother my grin. These sexy grey devils had so much confidence in so many different ways. Yet, in other ways, they were still insecure. Not that they really let that ever show. But it was there.
“Yes, I did tell you. There's nothing wrong with the way that you kiss.”
The answer didn't seem to make him feel better, however. He grew more agitated. I watched him pace back and forth for a moment
before he turned to me.
“Kiss me again,” he said.
This time I did grin.
“I don't know what kissing me is going to do to help. I don't think you need practice, just a willing partner.”
“Yes. I need a female who is willing. Who likes my kisses.”
He crossed his arms and looked at me expectantly.
“I’m not sure what more we can do to convince Hannah. Maybe if I go and talk to her?” His semi-relaxed and slightly expectant expression turned thunderous.
He leaned over me again.
“You will stay here, Angel. Do not leave again.” He straightened abruptly and left the room.
I sighed and listened to the howls growing louder.
Garrett was right. Life shouldn't be this difficult.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
MORNING LIGHT STREAMED through the window and right into my face. I rolled over with a yawn and burrowed deeper under the covers. It wasn’t like there was a reason to get up at a particular time, and last night, it had taken me a long time to fall asleep. Mostly because after Shax had left the room, he’d left the house, and for hours, my mind had dwelled on what he and Hannah might have been doing. At some point, I’d finally passed out.
Laying there in the bright light of a new day, I listened to the house for sounds that Shax might have returned. Everything was quiet. I tried not to think about what the silence meant. Surely, he wouldn't have taken Hannah home and stayed there. Not with all the people at her house. But, where else would he have gone?
An ache grew inside me, and I pushed it away.
“There’s no time for love when running for your life. We know this,” I said, rubbing my belly and getting out of bed.
Staying under the covers wouldn’t help distract my thoughts now that I was awake again. However, getting up didn’t help much either. My mind continued to race with possibilities as I used the bathroom and re-braided my hair.
After I was finished washing up and brushing my teeth, I went downstairs and spotted a tinfoil-wrapped plate on the stove. I went over and lifted the top. Hash browns, bacon, and biscuits with sausage and gravy. All of it was still warm.
My stomach rumbled, and some of my worries melted away. Shax couldn't have spent the night with Hannah if he’d been here making me breakfast, right?
While I ate, I tried to distract myself with the baby. It kicked more vigorously now with food consumption, which I took as a good sign. I wondered again what my life would be like when the baby arrived. Not just how I would care for it but how the world around me would be.
The new settlement should be finished by the time the baby arrived and hopefully most of the Whiteman survivors would be gone from here. Did that mean I would have my own place? Did I want my own place? I listened to the silent house and knew I didn't. If Shax managed to hook up with Hannah, maybe I would take Garrett up on his offer. I just knew I didn't want to be alone anymore.
Before I finished eating the last of my food, someone knocked on the door.
“Come in,” I called.
The door opened, and Cassie poked her head in.
“Good morning. I'm glad you found the breakfast I left. You were still sleeping, and I didn't want to wake you up.”
She let herself in and took her jacket off.
“You brought this? I thought…” I tried to suppress the disappointment I felt.
“After Shax told me what supplies he’d brought back, I figured you might want actual breakfast food.”
“When did you talk to Shax?”
“He came by last night. He and Kerr went to relieve a few of the fey at the new place. He asked if I could come over and check on you this morning. I think he's nervous about leaving you alone.”
He’d gone to help his friends. I almost started to cry. Instead, I set my fork down and dropped my head into my hands.
“I can't do this anymore,” I said.
A chair scraped against the floor.
“What do you mean? What's going on?” Cassie asked.
“Shax.”
“Things aren't going well? He seemed okay when I talked to him.”
“It's not him. It's me. I can't keep hoping and getting disappointed and then hoping again. It's driving me insane.”
I lifted my head and looked at Cassie.
“Shax has always been upfront and honest since the moment I met him,” I said. “He wanted help winning Hannah over, so I've been giving him advice. But in the process of giving him advice, I started falling for him. He's great. Amazing. And, I don't want him to be with Hannah.”
“Did you tell him this?”
“Hell no. I don't want to encourage him.”
“You're confusing me. From what I've seen, Hannah isn't really that into him. I don't think she would mind. So, why wouldn't you want to encourage him if you like him?”
“It's not just Hannah. It's the baby.” I could see I was confusing her even more. “He's fascinated with the baby, which is a good thing because it means I get fed well, now. But he’s fascinated to the point that I don't think he sees me. If I encouraged him, I know he would say yes because of the baby, not me. Do you know what I mean?”
“The fey are obsessed with babies. However, if I were you, I wouldn't discount their fascination with females.”
“But, do you know what Shax asked? He wanted to know if he could have my baby once it was born.”
She groaned and shook her head.
“Exactly,” I said. “I just want to be liked for me, not because I have a working vagina. Living with Shax is kind of killing me. Yes, he’s taking care of me. But how am I supposed to stop liking him when I’m living in his house? And if I don’t live here, where the hell would I go?”
“Let's hold off on moving you out, just yet. I think what you need for today is a distraction. I was going to go over to Mya’s house and check on her. Do you want to come with me?”
I quickly agreed because anything was better than sitting in the house by myself and thinking of Shax. In less than two minutes, we were out the door and walking down the sidewalk.
“I’m sorry you had to come out so early to check on me. Who’s watching the kids if Kerr’s gone?”
“Oh, checking in on you is no hardship. I had to check in on Merdon, anyway. He got hurt again on this last hunt, and I was worried he’d reopened the injury on his leg. As for being out early, it’s hard to sleep with the hounds baying half the night.”
I felt a little guilty I’d fallen asleep without even thinking of the hounds.
“It wasn’t hard to find someone to watch the little ones. Right now it’s Brog and another fey, under Julie’s supervision. All the fey want to watch the kids so badly, but they’re still a little clueless without guidance.”
“Speaking of fey,” I said, looking around the neighborhood. “It seems really quiet this morning.” The spaces between houses and beside trees, where the fey usually stood, were empty.
“The fey who came back from helping Matt are sleeping. I saw a few of them trickling in this morning. I have to tell you, they looked shot. They're wearing themselves out to get that wall done.”
“Are they closer, now?”
“Very. That's why Shax and Kerr were willing to go. They think they'll finish up tomorrow night.”
“That's great news.”
We turned the corner and spotted a crowd of people walking ahead of us. Several of them broke away from the main group and went toward a ladder leaned against the wall. Cassie and I slowed and watched the men climb the ladder. When they reached the top, they stopped and looked down at the other side. The volume of the low moans coming from the infected increased.
A woman came jogging from the right, running agilely along the wall. The quiver on her back bouncing lightly. She stopped near the group and lifted the bow in her hand.
“Who is that?” I asked as she drew an arrow and shot.
“Brenna. Eden and Ghua found her family almost two weeks ago.”
Cassie nodded, and we watched as the girl continued to draw and shoot. The moans quieted, and one of the men lifted the ladder from the inside and lowered it to the other side. One by one, the men climbed down and disappeared from sight. Brenna waited with her bow ready until the last man reappeared with a handful of arrows, lifted the ladder, and put it back on the inside. With a nod to Brenna, he returned the arrows and climbed back inside the wall.
I couldn’t wait to tell Garrett that one of the people protecting the wall and leaving arrow-riddled infected bodies behind was a girl. I wondered if the fey on top of the wall used the same weapon. My gaze swept the length of the wall, but I didn't see a single fey.
“This can’t be good,” Cassie said softly.
Ahead of us, I saw the rest of the group had continued walking in the same direction we were headed. Mya’s place.
Cassie gave me a side glance, and I nodded in agreement. As we neared Mya’s house, I once again heard raised voices.
“You think they would get tired of acting like this,” I said. Yet, with nothing else to do, I knew they wouldn’t.
“You can't keep sending us out like this,” one of the crowd yelled.
“With the hellhounds out there, we're going to die,” another yelled.
“We need supplies!”
I couldn't believe they were still demanding supplies after just seeing a group leave on a supply run.
“Are you people insane?” Cassie yelled, marching toward the crowd.
I glanced at her in shock and slowly followed.
“Don't you know what's going on in there? Mya is sick. She has gray spots. I know some of you have seen them. I don't know what’s causing that to happen, but it's getting worse. Her sickness could be contagious. Yes, I understand that you're hungry. But is complaining about a few hunger pains worth risking the rest of your health? You don’t want what she has. She's not looking good.”
I stared at Cassie along with the rest of the crowd. We were probably all debating the same thing. Was Mya really that bad? I knew she couldn't be or Cassie wouldn't have suggested I come. She wouldn’t have risked the baby, or me, like that. Yet, her delivery was totally convincing.
One by one, people split from the crowd and scurried back home until only a few remained. Cassie let herself into Mya’s house, and I stepped in behind her.