Dreyden was sitting up in bed with his back propped against a stack of pillows. “I’ve been up for a while.”
“I overheard Dad telling Ari that your partners are buying you out.”
Dreyden nodded as he plumped the pillows on his bed. “Yeah, they are. I think it’s the best thing to do, considering my circumstances.”
Kellen met his brother’s gaze. “So you’re retiring? When did you decide this?”
“I guess you can call it retirement,” his brother answered.
“What do you call it?” Kellen asked.
“I consider it putting all of my affairs in order.”
“I don’t want to hear you talking like that, Dreyden,” he responded quickly. “You are not going to die.”
Dreyden released a soft sigh. “As scary as it sounds, we have to be realistic, Kellen.”
He shook his head. “No, I don’t. I’m not listening to this.”
Kellen strode quickly to the floor-to-ceiling window and stared out. “I’m sorry, but death is not an option.”
“Hey, I’m not afraid to die,” Dreyden stated. “I’ve made my peace with the Lord. I just know that I’m going to miss you and the rest of the family.”
Kellen walked over to the bed and sat down on the left side near the footboard. “Why are you just giving up?”
“I’m not giving up.”
“If you think you’re going to die,” Kellen uttered, “then you’re giving up.”
“I intend to live as long as I have breath in my body,” Dreyden stated. “Trust me when I tell you that I’m fighting to live, little brother, but I have to be prepared either way.”
“Just so you know, death is not an option,” Kellen repeated. “You are going to be rid of this cancer, so that you can find that perfect woman and get married. I’m going to dance at your wedding.”
Dreyden laughed, but it was weak at best.
“How are things going with Addison?” Dreyden asked, deliberately changing the subject.
Kellen nodded. “I have to admit that she’s a spitfire when she wants to be. However, I was able to convince her to give me another chance.”
“You really like her,” Dreyden said.
Kellen smiled. “She’s all right.”
“Who are you trying to kid?”
“Okay, I like her. She’s beautiful. Who wouldn’t like a woman like that?”
Dreyden nodded in agreement. “Have you asked her out?”
“Once,” Kellen responded. “She turned me down flat. Addison doesn’t believe in dating her employees.”
“It can be a sticky situation.”
“I guess,” Kellen muttered.
“Does it still bother you that she’s your boss?” Dreyden wanted to know.
He shook his head.
His brother clearly didn’t believe him. “Liar.”
“It bothers me because I have strong feelings for Addison. I don’t even know how or when it happened.”
“I wish I could say that I’m surprised by this, but I’m not,” Dreyden responded.
He sounded so exhausted.
“I’m going in the living room so that you can get some rest,” Kellen announced. “Call me if you need anything.”
Dreyden was already half asleep.
Although Dreyden hadn’t told them how much time the doctor gave him, Kellen suspected that it wasn’t long.
He noticed that his brother had progressive weakness and exhaustion. Dreyden was continuing to lose weight and had little or no appetite. All of the material he’d read suggested that his brother was entering the final weeks of his life.
Kellen understood that every person was different, which is why he continued to hold on to hope and pray fervently for the Lord to heal Dreyden. He refused to give up on a miracle—they happened every day.
“Please don’t take my brother,” he whispered. “He loves You and is a good man. He deserves to live and grow old. He deserves to find love and get married—raise a family. Lord, my brother deserves all of these things. Please save him.”
Chapter 12
The stark light of morning sunshine streaming through the nearby window pulled Kellen from a fitful night of sleep and into the glare of his harsh reality.
Dreyden was gone.
He had peacefully stepped out of time, passing into eternity shortly after 8:00 p.m. last evening.
Kellen sat up in bed, thinking back over the past four months.
He had witnessed Dreyden’s rapid decline as death drew closer. Fatigue had taken over. His brother once told him, “I feel like an engine running out of steam. There are days that I have just enough energy to do one or two small things, and then it’s gone. It’s like I’ve used up my supply for that day. I’m getting tired of being tired.”
The doctor had explained to the family that this was normal and a symptom with advanced cancer. He also told him that needing more sleep was also normal in the last few weeks of life.
Tears welled up in Kellen’s eyes.
My brother is dead.
I’ll never hear his voice again.
I can never come to him for advice or just to hang out.
Dreyden’s last week or so had been filled with persistent pain. He had confided in Kellen, saying, “I need the morphine to do the things I want to do. I just hate spending my days flat on my back in bed.”
A soft knock on the door cut into his thoughts.
“Come in.”
Ari entered his bedroom. “I came to check on you.”
Kellen gave a slight nod. “How are you holding up?”
She sat down on the edge of the king-size bed. “I keep thinking about Dreyden and wondering if we did everything we could to try and save him.”
“We talked to the top oncologists in the world,” Kellen stated. “We did everything.”
They were joined a few minutes later by Sage and Zaire.
Zaire made herself comfortable beside him in bed, while Sage sat down on the nearby sofa.
“Has anyone seen Mom or Dad?” Sage inquired. “I didn’t hear anything when I walked by their room.”
“I hope that they’re sleeping,” Zaire responded. “They need to rest.”
“Are we having a sibling meeting?” Blaze asked from the doorway.
“Come join us,” Kellen said. “We’re just in here talking.”
Blaze sat down beside Sage.
They all sat in silence, each in their own thoughts.
“I knew Dreyden was leaving us when he couldn’t eat much,” Zaire blurted. “I read that when a person dies, their body goes through a series of changes that have an effect on their appetite. It’s because of the drug side-effects and bodily function issues that make it hard for them to eat.”
“I thought he was giving up,” Kellen said. “I didn’t know.”
“Neither did I,” Blaze responded. “I kept trying to force food down his throat.”
“Dreyden didn’t want pity,” Sage stated. “He kept a lot of what he was dealing with to himself. That’s just the way he was.”
They all agreed.
“What do we do now?” Zaire asked. “I feel as if a part of me is missing.”
Blaze nodded in agreement. “I was telling Livi that same thing this morning. As much as I love my family, my heart is broken at the thought of never seeing Dreyden again.”
“He’s our brother,” Ari said. “It’s normal to feel this type of heartache over a loss. Unfortunately, death is a part of life.”
“I never want to go through anything like this again,” Blaze uttered. “Watching my brother die... I can’t put into words what I’m feeling.”
“It was distressing for me in the last week because Dreyden�
��s breathing changed,” Zaire stated.
“Like Zaire, I knew what was coming because it sounded like he was drowning when he was breathing,” Sage interjected. “It was so labored. It scared me.”
Zaire agreed. “I think at times, it scared him, too.” A lone tear rolled down her cheek. “I would take his hand and just rub it so that he knew he wasn’t alone.”
Kellen felt his own eyes grow wet. He and his siblings had all taken turns staying with Dreyden, so that he was never alone. His parents had had him transported via ambulance to the house in Pacific Palisades and hired a couple of private nurses to care for him around the clock. They were all present at the moment he took his very last breath.
Sage wiped away her tears. “This isn’t fair.”
“Life never is,” Ari muttered.
Kellen knew that he was thinking about April, his first wife. She died shortly after their marriage and it had taken him some time to get over her death.
“We thought we’d find you in here,” Malcolm said from the doorway. Barbara was with him. “Livi and Natalia are downstairs making breakfast for us. Why don’t we all go down and try to eat something?”
“I need to wash up first,” Kellen said. “I’ll be down in a bit.”
After everyone left his room, he decided it was time to give Addison the news. “Good morning. I just wanted to let you know that Dreyden passed away last night.”
“Kellen, I’m so sorry...” Her voice broke. “How are you doing?”
“Right now...things are... I have to go, but I wanted to tell you before you heard it from someone else.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll keep you posted on everything.” He ended the call.
It was eight-forty when Kellen finally left the bathroom, freshly showered and dressed in a pair of fleece navy blue pants and a white-and-navy T-shirt.
Franklin was in the foyer when he reached the bottom floor. He had been in New York visiting his daughter when he heard about Dreyden. He was considered a member of the family, although he worked as the head of security for the Alexanders.
The two men embraced.
“I’m so sorry for your loss, Kellen. I knew how close you and Dreyden were.”
“I know how much you loved him, too.”
Franklin nodded. “I sure don’t understand this at all.”
“I don’t think I ever will,” Kellen muttered. “I feel like God turned His ear from me when I was praying for Him to heal my brother. He turned His back on Dreyden. What have I done that God doesn’t listen to my prayers anymore?”
“He hears the prayers of His people,” Franklin assured him. “But for reasons we may never understand, sometimes He says no.”
* * *
It rained that Friday, the day of Dreyden’s funeral. The day was dull and dreary, matching Kellen’s mood as he dressed in a black suit. He stared at his reflection in the mirror, blinking back tears.
A knock on his bedroom door drew him out of his reverie.
“Come in.”
Ari opened the door and entered. “I came up to check on you.”
“I’m okay,” Kellen responded softly.
“I know that you’re not okay,” his brother responded. “None of us are doing well with this.”
“I dread walking into that church and seeing Dreyden lying in that coffin.”
“It’s not easy, but this is the only chance we have left to say goodbye to our brother.”
“That’s just it, Ari. I’m not ready to say goodbye.”
“Neither am I.”
“Our family is never going to be the same,” he said. “I’m not sure we can recover from this.”
“I felt the same way when I lost April,” Ari responded. “It took a long time, but now it doesn’t hurt as much. I hated seeing Dreyden in pain—this is the only thing that gives me a measure of comfort about his death. He’s no longer in pain. He’s free.”
“I know that you’re right, but it doesn’t make me feel any better.”
Their father stuck his head inside. “The limos are here. We’re leaving in five minutes.”
“We’re ready,” Ari said, speaking for the two of them.
Kellen buttoned up his suit jacket and followed Ari out of the room. They joined the rest of the family downstairs in the living room.
His mother looked beautiful in a chic black dress with matching coat and a wide-brim black-and-white hat. Her purse and shoes were both black with white trim. She tried to give him a brave smile but failed.
Her sisters were seated side by side on the sofa. Zaire rubbed her swollen belly as her husband, Tyrese, rubbed her shoulders.
Livi walked up to him. “Let me redo your tie.”
“It wasn’t acting right today,” he mumbled, glad for the help.
All of the children, except Joshua, were staying at the house with a babysitter. Joshua insisted on attending the home-going services. He adored Dreyden.
The funeral director escorted his parents out first, holding a large black umbrella over their heads.
They were soon in the cars and on their way to the church.
Kellen stared out the window, although nothing captured his interest. Images of him and his siblings when they were kids formed in his mind. Playing together, laughing one moment and then arguing the next. Dreyden was always the peacemaker. An unconscious smile formed on his lips.
At the front of the church, surrounded by floral arrangements sent from all over the country, was Dreyden’s coffin, which was made of solid, natural-brush stainless steel. Column corners and swing-bar handles complemented the design. Full white-velvet interior surrounded his brother as he lay on the inner bed. His parents had spared no expense for their beloved son, but it was tasteful and elegant.
Kellen had no idea that Addison was in the congregation until he walked up to the podium to speak. He met her gaze briefly before turning his attention to the coffin below.
His voice threatened to break. Kellen cleared his throat. “My brother...Dreyden... There’s so much that was special about him.” He fought back tears. “He was a lot like our father: intelligent, supportive and he had a great sense of humor. Whenever I needed a reality check, he was the one to do it. He kept me on the straight and narrow.”
A lone tear flowed down his cheek. “I don’t think I’ll ever understand why he had to leave us.”
Kellen was joined by Ari and Blaze at the podium. It took him a moment to realize that he had stopped talking and was sobbing.
Ari embraced him.
“We will all miss Dreyden,” Blaze said. “He left this earth much too soon, but his legacy will live on forever. My brother was generous to a fault and spent most of his free time finding ways to help others.”
Kellen allowed his tears to run free as he made his way back to his seat. The thought of never hearing his brother’s voice or seeing him again ripped through his heart.
* * *
“Addison, thank you for coming,” Kellen said after the burial in the cemetery. The repast was held at his parents’ house.
He glanced away to keep her from seeing his tears.
“I liked your brother,” Addison responded softly as she handed him a tissue. “He was a really nice guy and he’ll be greatly missed.”
He nodded in agreement.
“You don’t have to hide your tears, Kellen. You just lost your brother.”
He wiped at his eyes. “Are you coming to the house?”
Addison shook her head. “I would love to, but I need to head back to the office for a meeting. I’ll give you a call later to check up on you.”
“I’ll walk you to your car,” he murmured. “I need to get out of here for a few minutes.”
Kellen reached over, taking her hand in
his own. He needed her strength because his own was waning. “I want you to know that I really appreciate you being here, Addison.”
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else,” she responded. “Kellen, I’m sure you’re tired of hearing this, but I’m so deeply sorry for your loss.”
“I never thought we’d end up in this place. I really didn’t think he would...he wouldn’t be here.”
She embraced him.
“This just doesn’t feel like my life.”
“The grieving process is going to take some time,” Addison whispered. “I’ll call you later. If you don’t feel like talking, I’ll understand.”
Kellen gave a slight nod.
“It was nice of Addison to come to the service,” Zaire said after he walked back into the house. “She seems to care a great deal about you.”
Kellen shrugged in nonchalance. “She’s just being kind.”
She looped her arm through his. “What are we going to do without Dreyden? My daughter will not ever get to meet him.”
“We’re going to tell her all about her uncle,” he responded, his voice breaking. “She’ll know how much he loved her and how much he wanted to be here when she was born.”
Chapter 13
Addison looked out the window at the rain running down the pane. For a moment she paused, watching as lightning forked across the sky. It was a lackluster day at best and it matched her mood.
She could not forget the image of Kellen standing before his brother’s coffin, his eyes filled with tears. Her own eyes watered at the memory. Losing a family member was never easy, but the pain she saw in the faces of the Alexanders nearly broke her heart.
With a sigh, Addison left the window in her bedroom to change into a pair of jeans and a snug, white T-shirt with a red heart on the front. She gathered her hair into a careless ponytail, the black ends touching the top of her spine.
The day crawled by. Addison was up to her ears in paperwork. She had gone over everything, crossing t’s and dotting i’s, making sure that not a single detail fell through the cracks.
Kellen stayed at the forefront of her mind. She wanted to check on him but didn’t want to be a pest or give him the wrong idea.
Her heart refused to cooperate.
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