He looked at Addison as if seeing her for the first time. “Are you really that selfish?”
She bit back her irritation at his question. “We used precautions, Kellen. This baby... I never should’ve gotten pregnant.”
“But you did,” he argued. “That should tell you something. This child is a beautiful gift from God. The Lord allowed my brother to die but look what He’s given us in return. I want my child and I’m prepared to raise him or her alone, if that’s what I have to do.”
Addison met his gaze. “Why is this child so important to you?”
“Because he or she is a part of me.”
“This baby can’t replace your brother, Kellen.”
“I know that,” he responded. “I’m not trying to replace Dreyden. I’m trying to take responsibility for the life we conceived.”
“I need you to understand that this has been a complete shock to me, and that I need some time to think about my options.”
“The only option should be how we are going to raise this baby.”
“I don’t need to feel pressured, Kellen.”
“I’m not trying to pressure you, sweetheart. I’m just saying that I don’t want you to terminate this pregnancy. It may have been ill-timed, but I already love this baby.
“Please don’t take this child...my child away from me.”
She dropped into the chair and rubbed at shoulder muscles gone as tight as cheap shoes. “Kellen, you don’t really know me. How can you be so sure that I’ll be a good mother?”
He studied her for a long, serious moment, then smiled.
Addison’s breath caught in her throat.
Kellen Alexander was devastatingly handsome when he smiled. “The eyes are the windows to the soul. That’s what my mom used to say.”
“Oh, so my eyes tell you that I’m good with children?”
He came toward her, hunkering down in front of the chair. “They tell me that you’re scared right now, and that you’re confused about this pregnancy. But you don’t have to deal with this alone.”
“Kellen, I...”
“Addison, I want you to marry me.” He blurted out a laugh of surprise. “That wasn’t how I planned to say it, but there you go.”
Addison’s mouth dropped open, and her eyes narrowed suspiciously. She couldn’t believe that he had just uttered the words that he wanted to marry her.
What on earth is he thinking?
“Did you hear what I just said?” he asked.
Addison gave a slight nod. “I...I’m having some trouble believing that I heard you correctly.”
“There’s no confusion. You’re having my baby, and I want to marry you.”
She didn’t get it. It didn’t make sense.
“You don’t know me,” she began with a slow shake of her head. “Even if I’d talked your ear off from the minute we met until my little pilgrimage to the porcelain god...you couldn’t really know me. My beliefs, my hang-ups, my shortcomings.”
Kellen heaved a sigh and met her eyes.
She realized he was completely serious. Kellen was proposing to her in the middle of her office at two-thirty in the afternoon.
“You’re not going to make this easy, are you?” he inquired. “Addison, you know that I’m crazy about you.”
Addison felt his eyes on her but refused to meet his gaze. A woman could lose herself in those gray eyes of his and find herself agreeing to all kinds of madness.
The very idea of marrying Kellen Alexander was truly insanity in itself.
“I know that marriage is all about love, commitment and happily ever after. Addison, I actually want that for myself.”
His cheekbones softened as he looked away. “I want a wife who loves me as much as I love her, and children of our own. I want what my parents have, what my siblings have—a relationship with someone where you’re stronger together than being apart.”
Addison had no idea that such a devastatingly sexy man could have such traditional values. It was a rare quality.
“Please say something,” he uttered.
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Kellen. This is all happening much too fast. We made love one night—this wasn’t some relationship.”
“It’s only because you didn’t want one, Addison. I’ve made it clear on more than one occasion that I want to be with you. Will you at least think about it?”
“I can’t make any promises,” Addison responded. “I’m sorry, but I can’t do this right now. I need to focus on work so can we please table this discussion for now?”
“Sure, but we have to find time to finish this conversation.”
She gave a slight nod. “I know. I just need a couple of days. This is a lot to handle and I have to prepare for a presentation tomorrow.”
Addison lowered her gaze to the computer monitor, her stomach churning in trepidation. It did not ease her mind that her future and that of her child hung on her decision.
* * *
What was the matter with women these days?
Kellen had imagined that most women were naturally supposed to want babies. They seemed to constantly worry about their ticking biological clocks—especially the ones he had come into contact with.
He sighed heavily as he recalled Addison’s reaction over her pregnancy. Just because his mother and sisters were nurturers didn’t mean that Addison felt the same. Since the moment she had admitted being pregnant, his child had become his sole focus in life.
He was going to be a father.
Kellen was thrilled at the idea because he loved children and wanted some of his own—although he hadn’t planned on it happening for a few years from now. It made sense to be with Addison. He cared for her a great deal. He wanted her. She dominated his thoughts day and night.
* * *
Kellen was in his office, a sheet of architect’s renderings spread out on a wooden table. Wearing dark slacks and a long-sleeve oxford shirt with the sleeves rolled up, he looked casual but professional. Addison forced herself to walk toward him and perch a hip on one of the chairs that flanked his desk.
Kellen tapped a corner of the paper with a pencil. “Well, what do you think?”
He turned the sheet around so that she could see it.
Addison studied it. “It’s beautiful, of course.”
“But?”
“But what?” She sighed. “I’d flip these two wings.” She pointed to a section of the blueprints.
Kellen nodded, his sharp gaze already assessing, dissecting.
“What else?”
“It would be nice to have a portico over the front entrance, so that on rainy days guests can get out of the car and stay dry. These are just suggestions and not commandments, Kellen.”
“I like where this is going, Addison.”
They studied the plans for another half hour, Kellen firing insightful questions at her, and Addison offering suggestions based on her experience.
But suddenly, they both fell silent.
Even in the midst of a business discussion, she was far too aware of him. But it was not like they could avoid one another. He was the father of her child, and they worked together. Addison could not let their personal lives become entwined with the jobs they had to do.
“I trust you with this,” she told Kellen. “I have a conference call scheduled so I’ll get out of your hair.”
He nodded.
Addison walked the short distance to her office. She hadn’t really expected him to just let her leave so easily. But then he was focused on his project. She tried to imagine him as a father but couldn’t. He was just starting out with his career—she worried that a child could interfere.
She half listened to the conversation on the conference call; her mind was plagued with
thoughts of Kellen. Addison was glad that it was being recorded. She would order a copy of the transcript later.
An hour later she sat at her desk completely immersed in her work. Addison was in her zone. Before she knew it, time had flown by and it was time for her to go home. She packed up her laptop and prepared to leave. As Addison neared Kellen’s office, she could not resist sticking her head inside. “I just stopped by to say good-night.”
He looked up from his computer monitor, meeting her gaze. “I’m glad to see that you’re leaving earlier than usual. You need your rest.”
She walked inside the office. “Hey, I don’t need you to start trying to babysit me. I’m more than capable of taking care of myself.”
“I know that, Addison,” Kellen responded. “But you shouldn’t have to—I’m here and I want us to be a team. We’re in this together. Why are you trying to do this alone?”
She switched her tote from one shoulder to the other. “I’m just used to having to take care of myself.”
“You’re not alone anymore, sweetheart.” He paused a moment before saying, “Addison, I’d like you to do something for me.”
“What?” she asked.
“Join me on Sunday for dinner with my family.”
Puzzled, she asked, “Why do you want me there?”
“I want you to get to know us better,” Kellen responded. “I would assume that you’d want this, too. I’d like for my family to get to know you better, as well.”
“I would like to get to know your family more,” she admitted. “So the answer is yes.”
He smiled. “Great.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Addison stifled a yawn. “I need to get out of here. Don’t work too late.”
Smiling, Kellen returned his attention to his monitor.
* * *
“Kellen, why did you really want me to come here?” Addison inquired. “I was thinking about this on the way here. I’m sure it’s not just because you want me to get to know your family better. What’s really going on?”
“I want you here.”
“Which basically tells me nothing,” she responded with a wry smile.
“Okay, the truth is that I want to celebrate our baby with my family.”
“You told them?” Her voice rose in panic. She was afraid that his parents would find her completely unsuitable for Kellen. Addison wasn’t ready for that type of criticism to be heaped on her head. “Your mother is going to naturally think I’m a gold digger,” she uttered. “Thanks a lot, Kellen.”
Her temper was a work of art. First Addison’s eyes flashed dark fire. Then they narrowed as if she was contemplating where she wanted to punch him.
“After losing Dreyden, I knew that they would welcome some good news. Sweetheart, your carrying my baby is great news to my family.”
Bracing one hand on her car, Addison closed her eyes, willing away the sudden onset of nausea. When she spoke, her words were soft and accusing. “How could you do this to me, Kellen? This situation is awkward enough but you had to make it worse. Now your father knows that we slept together. You are one of my employees.”
“He’s not a prude, Addison. Besides, my dad already sensed our feelings for one another. Trust me, this doesn’t surprise him.”
She swallowed hard. “I can’t believe that you would ambush me like this.”
“It wasn’t an ambush, Addison.”
“There’s no other word for it,” she quickly interjected.
“Why are you so upset? They were going to find out, anyway.”
“When I was ready, Kellen,” she countered. “I’m still in my first trimester of this pregnancy. Anything could happen.”
He stepped closer to Addison and laid a hand on her cheek. A few tendrils curled around her face and whispered against the feel of his hand. Her hair... Kellen resisted the temptation thus far to sink his hands into that rich carpet of darkness. It was out of her customary ponytail and trickled down her back. There wasn’t a man in this hemisphere that could resist hair like that. “I’m sorry. I guess I didn’t think this through.” He made the apology clear.
Addison sighed, a mixture of frustration and resignation. “No, you didn’t.”
“Please come back inside.”
She shook her head. “I can’t face them right now. I can’t believe you did this to me.” She didn’t want to answer the questions that she knew they all must have. Addison could only imagine what they must think of her. Malcolm had to be so disappointed.
She rushed off to her car and climbed inside.
She drove away before Kellen could stop her.
As Addison turned onto the long, winding road that led back to Los Angeles, she uttered a string of profanities under her breath when she glanced in the rearview mirror and saw a black Mercedes hurtling toward her in hot pursuit.
I can’t believe he’s actually following me.
Apparently, this was her day to be taken completely off guard.
Furious, Addison pulled to the side of the road, shut off the engine and stepped down from her Land Rover.
Kellen followed suit and met her more than halfway, his sheer presence forcing her to back up against her vehicle. Addison put her hands on her hips and glared at him. “What in the world do you think you’re doing?”
He stood there like a rugged model from a high-end men’s magazine, legs spread and arms crossed over his chest. His expensive suit fit him perfectly, drawing attention to his muscular thighs and broad shoulders.
“I can’t let you leave like this. We need to talk.” The words were quiet, his gaze sober, his face wiped clean of all expression.
“You ambushed me, and I don’t like it.”
“Why do you keep saying that?”
“You knew that I wasn’t sure I wanted to keep the baby so you decided to tell your family.” She gave a frustrated shake of her head. “How can you think of being a father when you still have so much growing up to do?”
“How can you be so cold and disinterested in your own child?” Kellen countered, his mouth tight with tension. “I know I haven’t handled things well, but I think we can come to an understanding. Stop trying to make things difficult.”
“I’m not,” she shot back. “If you had just waited, I would’ve told you that I’d made a decision. I am keeping my child. I want this baby, but I’m not ready to shout it to the world.”
Kellen released the breath he was holding.
“I need you to stop trying to manipulate me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re not,” Addison responded. “You’re willing to do whatever it takes to keep your child safe. Although I didn’t like it, I can understand why you did what you did, Kellen. You want your child.”
“We both want this child,” he corrected. “Which means that I want to make our family complete, Addison.”
For a moment Kellen stared at Addison, picturing her in a long, white dress, her mass of dark hair falling over her shoulders, and he couldn’t breathe. “I want to marry you.”
“I honestly never really figured you for the marrying kind.”
“I didn’t think so, either, until I met you,” he responded. “I care a great deal for you, Addison. More than I’ve ever felt for any other woman.”
“I...I don’t really know what to say.”
“You could say yes to my proposal.”
Recovering from the shock, she said, “Technically, you haven’t proposed to me, but that’s fine because I don’t think that we are anywhere near the idea of marriage.”
“Is it because you don’t have feelings for me?”
Addison met his gaze as she responded, “You know that I feel something for you. It’s way too soon to think about marriage, Kellen. That’s all I’m saying.”<
br />
“I want a family.”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t think about that right now.”
“Addison, I can’t stop thinking about you,” he muttered.
Taking her shoulders in his big hands, Kellen drew her close and settled his mouth over hers in a gentle, drugging caress of warm, firm lips.
Long and slow and unabashedly intimate.
Kellen took charge as if he had every right to kiss her senseless.
Her body was warm, and standing beneath the unforgiving sun, it was no wonder.
“Put your arms around me,” he said.
“I’m not going to marry you just because we’re having a baby.” But even as Addison whispered the words, her mental resistance to him crumbled in the wake of a tidal wave of longing. Addison buried her face in his shoulder as he stroked her hair.
She needed him.
Painfully.
Chapter 18
“What’s going on in here?” Kellen inquired two days later. He had stopped by Addison’s office to check on her.
“I’m going away for a couple of days,” Addison announced as she packed up her laptop. “I’m taking my computer with me. It’s just in case the team needs to send me any documents.”
“Mind if I tag along?” he asked, half joking.
She zipped her tote closed, and then said, “Kellen, I really need some time alone. I have a lot to think about, and I can’t do it here. I hope you understand.”
His expression grew serious. “I do.”
Addison headed toward the door with Kellen walking beside her.
“I’ll only be gone for a couple of days. We can talk about everything when I get back.”
“You haven’t changed your mind about keeping the baby, have you?” he wanted to know.
Addison shook her head. “You can relax. I’m not going away to get rid of the baby, Kellen. It’s just that my life is going in a different direction, and I need to think about some stuff.”
“I’m going to miss you.”
She smiled. “I’m sure you have a busy weekend planned. The fundraiser for the center is on Saturday.”
Five Star Desire Page 13