by Ryan Casey
My first instinct was to run.
But I couldn’t.
I was just frozen.
I watched the man walk closer towards me. He was coming my way and he wasn’t stopping, no doubt about that.
And as I tried to get my breathing in order, I wrapped my hands tighter around my pistol.
I’d use it if I had to.
I’d shoot him if he made me.
He walked some more steps further towards me. And as the sounds of those footsteps mixed with the memories of being trapped in the back of that military vehicle, I knew for a fact that this man couldn’t capture me. I wouldn’t allow it.
He would tear me away from my family.
I was tired of things coming between me and my family.
I lifted the pistol, slowly.
My heart raced. My chest tightened. I knew this was madness. Suicide, even.
But I tickled the trigger and got ready to fire.
Then something remarkable happened.
The soldier turned around, just feet from my position on the ground in the long grass, and he walked back the other way.
Relief flooded through my veins. I let out a sharp exhale, the tension of the moment receding in the click of a finger.
I knew I couldn’t be complacent. I’d been lucky. I had to keep moving.
I waited for the soldier to disappear out of view. For his footsteps to wade off into the distance.
Then I stood up and started to creep further past the blockade, further into the area I needed to be, closer to my home, my wife, my son, my everything.
And then I felt it.
The hand on my shoulder.
Hard.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
I felt the hand on my shoulder and my entire body froze.
All kinds of scenarios ran through my mind. The army was onto me. They had me. I wasn’t going to get back to my family. I was never getting back to them. All this way and in the end I’d let myself get sloppy for a matter of seconds and now I wasn’t going to reunite with them at all.
But no. It didn’t have to be that way.
I lifted the gun in my hand and spun around.
“Whoa. Alex. Alex. It’s me.”
My body froze. I almost pulled that trigger. My finger actually tightened on it, and I knew that if I’d realised who it was a second later, then they would have a bullet in them right now.
But they didn’t.
It was Suzy.
Relief hit me like a bullet to the abdomen. I lowered the gun, my body still shaking from the adrenaline of what had almost happened—and that Suzy and Will were here at all.
“Suzy?” I said. “What’s—”
She put a finger over her lips and pushed my shoulder.
I didn’t realise why until I noticed the voices, this time to my right.
I crouched down, Suzy and Will alongside me. We quickly made our way over to a wide group of trees, which we sat behind until the voices passed. We stayed there for a while. I still couldn’t actually believe that Suzy and Will were here at all.
“What happened?” I whispered.
Suzy cleared her throat, pulled Will close. I could see she had the bug-out bag over her shoulder. “I thought about what you said. About this home of yours. And I… I thought about what you said about doing whatever you could for your family, too. And I guess it just resonated with me. I don’t see why we should give up because of this blockade.”
“But you would’ve been safer with Peter.”
“Maybe so,” Suzy said. She lowered her head and then looked back into my eyes. “But you helped me. You pulled me up when I needed it most. You offered me a chance to go somewhere. A chance to start afresh. If I can help return that favour… it’s the least I can do. Really. And besides. We both benefit because of it. We can help each other.”
I heard Suzy’s words and I couldn’t help but feel ashamed. Ashamed at all the people I’d turned away in the past. Ashamed at all the times I’d had the opportunity to help people, but decided not to for one reason or another.
But things were different now. I’d shown willingness to help Suzy and Will, so they were in turn helping me.
I thought about Peter, alone on the road, and I felt grateful for his help. Really, I did.
But he would be okay. Wherever he was, wherever he went, I knew he would be okay.
He’d helped us. I was grateful for that.
Maybe one day, down the road, I could return that favour too.
“We should probably get moving, shouldn’t we?” Suzy said.
I looked around. The trees to my left were empty, as were the trees to my right. There were no sounds, nothing but the breeze of the wind against the branches. The voices were long gone. The footsteps were nowhere to be heard.
Anticipation built up within. I knew now was the time to move on. I was close. There wasn’t much further to go. Soon, everything was going to be okay. I was going to be back with Sarah and Bob. Everything was going to be fine.
I stood up, gesturing for Suzy and Will to do the same. Then I started to walk, slowly through the long grass, further past the boundary of the blockade.
Then I stopped.
“Everything okay?” Suzy asked.
I turned and looked at her. “Before. When we were in the motorhome. You were telling me something. About your sister and your niece. How they weren’t holding anything electronic. And you were going to tell me something else.”
Suzy looked at the ground. She didn’t look all too happy that I’d reminded her of that tale.
She looked back up at me. “When they died. It didn’t happen during the initial blast.”
Confusion spread. “What?”
“They dropped dead at exactly the same time. They weren’t holding anything electronic. And it happened earlier today. Well after the power went out.”
The hairs on my arms stood on end. I couldn’t get my head around what Suzy was saying, or what she was implying. I cleared my throat, rubbed the back of my neck. “But then that’s impossible. It must’ve been a coincidence.”
Suzy tilted her head, like she was considering the possibility. “Maybe so. Or maybe something else.”
I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear Suzy’s theory. But I knew I had to. “Go on.”
She looked around at the trees, then at Will, then back at me once again. “Maybe you think you understand everything there is to understand about this solar event. But maybe you haven’t even scratched the surface.”
It was those words that stuck with me as the three of us walked off in pursuit of my home.
It was those words that would never leave me.
Maybe you haven’t even scratched the surface.
What if Suzy was right?
Chapter Forty
When we reached the city of Preston, I couldn’t quite believe what I was witnessing.
The descending sun cast an orange glow through the Fishergate high street. I was hoping to avoid the city, and had no intention of walking down the high street itself, because I’d seen what kind of people were around. And I knew that the armed forces and military would surely have a stronger presence in the more populated areas too. I’d managed to slip through their fingers twice. I didn’t want to have to try and do that a third time. I wasn’t sure I could possibly be so lucky.
As I walked with Suzy and Will by my side, I couldn’t believe what I was looking at. The city of Preston was in ruin. The shop windows had been boarded up, and those which hadn’t were smashed. There was litter all over the ground, which stray dogs rustled through. Cars were in various states of ruin, some people still glued to their seats, long dead. Crows flew overhead, cawing away as they swooped down for the scraps of food, making the most of this chaos in the best way they possibly could.
I felt my stomach sink when I saw the city in such a state. I’d been here so many times with Sarah and Bobby. We used to make a weekend thing of it, every Saturday morning. I’d roll my eyes because our tri
ps mostly consisted of Sarah trying to buy some item of clothing or other. But secretly, I loved the time it gave me to spend with Bobby. The time we’d spend in GAME looking through the video games. The time we’d spend in Starbucks trying all the frappuccinos and iced drinks. It was special. And I wouldn’t trade that time for anything.
I just wished that one way or another, humanity could figure out a way to restore that world.
But I wasn’t holding out much hope.
I walked down the high street a little. I hadn’t intended to, but seeing it so empty had drawn me along it. Besides, I had a gun. And I would use it if I had to. There was absolutely no doubt about that.
“Come on,” I said, Suzy and Will not far behind. “We should keep moving. We can get to my place a lot quicker if we head directly through town.”
“You sure that’s a good idea?” Suzy asked.
A glimmer of fear crept through my body. I wasn’t sure. Of course I wasn’t sure. After all, there was no way to be sure about anything anymore.
But I nodded my head regardless, because I was well on the road now, and I knew there was only one way to go: forward.
“It has to be,” I said.
The further we got down the road, the more my tension built up. The silence, it was just too much, especially for day two. I couldn’t believe the streets would be so abandoned. Surely the abandonment of the cities would take far longer than just over twenty-four hours?
But then I remembered the run-ins I’d had with the military. I remembered what I’d seen. What they’d done to people.
My skin shuddered at the thought of what they might’ve done to the people of Preston, at least those who had resisted.
Or maybe that was just my imagination getting the better of me. The end of the world as we knew it could play with our mind in funny ways like that.
I kept on going, picking up my pace. I looked up and I saw people in windows looking down at me, fear on their faces. I wondered what they’d witnessed. I wondered whether they knew what was really happening, or whether they were just holding it out until the blackout passed by, still under that naive impression that it was going to pass by at all.
I wanted to get myself out of this street and far away from here, with all its reminders of my past life and the way things used to be.
And then I saw the man.
He was standing outside the Co-operative bank. He was scruffy, with long, stringy grey hair and yellowing teeth. Clearly homeless.
He was sitting beside an absurdly large 4K television, eyes bulging with imagined riches.
“Hundred quid, mate. Absolute bargain. Nice big telly for when the power comes back.”
I felt immediately sorry for the man. It was easy to tar all looters with the same brush, but when it boiled down to it, we were all looters. This guy was just a looter who was using the situation to try and get a roof over his head for just a night or so.
I walked over to him, reaching into my wallet. I had sixty in twenty-pound notes. I didn’t think I’d be needing it anytime soon.
“Here,” I said, handing him the notes. “For when the power comes back. And keep the telly.”
His eyes widened even more. He looked at me like I was some kind of god. “Thank you, mate. Thank you so so much.”
I felt guilty right then. Money was worthless. Really, what I’d just done was an empty gesture.
I reached into my rucksack and pulled out a few protein shakes and a couple of tins of beans.
“Take these, too. They’ll get you through the next few days. But if you want my advice, I’d say get as far away from the city as you can. Get into the countryside. And look after yourself.”
The man smiled, tears in his eyes. “The city’s all I’ve ever known. I’m not going anywhere, my friend. You stay safe.”
I nodded. Then I looked back at Suzy and Will, and then at the outline of the city of Preston, so beautiful—at least to me—in the setting sun.
“Are you ready?” I asked, half-smiling at Suzy and at Will.
They nodded, both of them, right on cue.
I turned around to face the road that I knew would lead me directly to my home, the tension building up inside, and I walked.
Clouds began to gather.
Rain began to fall.
Chapter Forty-One
It was dark by the time I reached the edge of the long country lane that led right towards my home.
The rain had been falling heavily for quite some time. I was soaked to the bone. But honestly, I didn’t care. Not when I was so close to home. Not when I was so near to my family.
I could worry about shelter and new clothes and gathering clean water and all things like that after.
Now was about reaching home.
That’s all anything was about.
I walked down the dark country lane, stones crunching underfoot. I could see a glow of light somewhere in the distance. Suzy and Will were beside me, keeping relatively quiet. They had obviously picked up on the seriousness of this situation to me; the magnitude of importance it held. They were respecting my privacy, my silence. I appreciated that. I wasn’t sure there were many things I’d be able to say right now.
I took a deep breath of the fresh, rain-tainted air. I felt the breeze brushing against my face. If I closed my eyes and focused enough on every footstep, I could imagine that I was just walking home from the nearby restaurant. The footsteps by my side were Sarah’s and Bobby’s. It was a nice fantasy; a reality I’d been a part of so many times, and that I had to believe I would be a part of again in the not too distant future.
I was so close.
So close.
I squinted at the road ahead. We had a working torch that I’d taken from Stuart’s, but I was reluctant to use it. I didn’t want to alert anyone to my presence. I didn’t want to scare Sarah or Bobby, make them think anyone unwelcome was coming.
And there was something else, too.
A deep, niggling worry that perhaps, just perhaps, they wouldn’t be here at all, and someone else would be waiting for me.
“No,” I said.
“What?” Suzy asked.
I slowed down and shook my head. “Nothing. I just…”
That’s when I saw it.
The outline of the barn behind my home, glowing in the moonlight.
It was still some way away. But here it was in all its glory. I’d made it. I’d made it.
My stomach fluttered when I saw it and I couldn’t stop myself.
I picked up my pace. Walked faster. Then before I knew it, I was breaking into a jog.
“Alex,” Suzy said. I could hear her jogging behind with Will by her side, clearly trying to keep up.
But the feeling of anticipation had taken a hold. I was home. I’d made it. So I kept on running. “I’m coming, Sarah. I’m coming, Bobby.”
As more of the homestead came into view, the silence of the place struck me. I couldn’t explain it. There was always a certain feeling when someone was home. A sense that this place was occupied, that there was someone waiting inside to open the door.
But that feeling wasn’t there anymore.
I knew it was stupid. I mean, it was a sixth sense kind of thing, but it wasn’t grounded in any reality, not really.
But what if?
What if?
It was then that the smell hit me.
It was strong and it was coming from the field beside me.
Sickness started to take over me. I stopped running. I didn’t want to turn around and look but I knew that I had to.
“Please no,” I said.
I turned.
There was a reason my homestead was so silent. An actual, legitimate reason why I had felt that sense that nobody was watching, nobody was waiting.
And that reason was staring back at me from the fields.
My cows were dead. They were lying there in the grass, each and every one of them, on their sides. The smell was intense and dizzying. The air was thick with th
e taste of building decay. And that taste would only keep growing and growing as the days went on.
I felt sick, right to my core. My muscles started to tighten, and my body started to shake. Because if this was the state of my cattle then it meant somebody had been here already.
Or somebody was already here.
I started running then, full pace. I pulled out the torch and flicked it on, eager to see my way.
“Alex?” Suzy called.
“I have to find them,” I said, not really thinking about the words coming out of my mouth, not really paying any attention to anything other than getting to my home, to getting inside, to finding out what had happened.
I couldn’t accept that something had happened.
Not after all this way.
Something else struck me, then. Something that hadn’t struck me at all at first, because I hadn’t had eyes on the house itself.
But now I noticed it, here in the darkness, I couldn’t unnoticed it.
Smoke.
I could smell it in the air. And looking at the sky, I could just about make out its outline, too, masked by the darkness.
I kept on running to my home but my legs were like jelly.
“No,” I said.
I wanted to believe this was all some misunderstanding. That perhaps Sarah was sitting outside and teaching Bobby how to cook on a stove. That they were having a barbecue and waiting for me to get home. That the animals had died for some other reason—something related to the EMP. After all, Suzy said people had dropped dead after the blast. What was to stop that happening to the animals, too?
Right?
I reached the front of the house and I came to a slow, laboured halt.
The house was in full view.
And I could see clearly what that “glow” was now.
It was the glow of flames.
Flames, stretching up the walls of the building.
Smoke rising from the top of it.
Heat radiating from it.
My home.
My family home.
Burning.
Ashes.
Chapter Forty-Two