by A. m Madden
I would miss that wild friend of mine. Despite being hungover, she insisted on driving me to the airport the next day. Even without a ring on her finger, through sobs, she hugged me tightly while uttering pleas to be her maid of honor someday. Only after I promised I would, and with Janie’s blessing, I left my old life behind, ready to slide into a new one.
Thanks to Ricky and Cooper, that slide occurred right into a first-class seat. A girl could get used to that kind of treatment.
And just as Janie had insisted on seeing me off, Ricky and Cooper had insisted on greeting me at the Fort Lauderdale airport. While holding up a sign reading Carter, Cooper grinned from ear to ear as Ricky gripped an obscene bouquet of helium balloons.
“You two are unbelievable,” I said, cheeks blazing red due to all the attention we received from travelers coming and going.
Cooper hugged me tightly. “You’re lucky I talked him out of hiring a marching band,” he grumbled through a grin that widened upon seeing the horror on my face.
“It was only part of a marching band,” Ricky amended. “You deserve a proper welcome.”
“I would’ve killed you.”
“It’s a moot point.” Ricky waved a hand at my claim. “They weren’t available anyway.”
Rolling my eyes much as Cooper always did regarding Ricky, I led them toward the luggage carousel assigned to my flight.
“Are you sure you still want to do this?” Cooper asked, only half-kiddingly. “It’s not too late to back out.”
“Yes, I’m sure. I thought we were done with the doubts.”
“I lied,” Cooper easily admitted. “Until that embryo is implanted, I’ll always worry you’ll change your mind.”
“Well, that’s your issue and not mine,” I said. Cooper’s handsome face twisted with a scowl. “Coop, I love you enough to tell you to shut the hell up.”
Ricky’s deep chuckle was met with Cooper pinning him with a glare. “Really?”
“She’s right,” he responded, shrugging casually. “No more doubts. Riana already knows how thankful we are.”
Cooper’s expression evened as he put an arm around my shoulders and kissed my temple. “A million times thankful.”
“I know,” I said with a smile just as a buzzer sounded and the belt before us began its rotation. When I spotted my large black suitcase with a pink bow, Ricky shoved the balloons into Cooper’s grip to grab the handle and hoist it off before I could. “Thank you.”
“Any others?”
“No. The rest of my stuff is in the truck.” The one they’d paid a small fortune to have my things driven down from Jersey to Florida.
“Then let’s go celebrate your arrival. People are waiting.” The way Ricky ceremoniously stalked toward the door while dragging my luggage made me nervous.
“Wait…” I scurried after him. “What people?”
Cooper coaxed me to follow with a protective hand on my back and a firm shake of his head. “Don’t ask.”
Oh no.
Another party.
My complaints of not wanting one had fallen on deaf ears. “Too late,” Ricky had said in the sedan during the ride to Miami. Until then, neither of them had given me any sign on where we were going. Cooper hadn’t helped my nerves at all when he’d finally admitted that renting out the private deck attached to one of the hottest bars in Miami was Ricky’s idea.
And once we arrived, déjà vu hit hard as a small mob of total strangers focused on me after we walked through the glass doors. “Really?” I directed my panic toward Ricky.
Cooper came to his defense. “Don’t be mad at him. He can’t help himself.”
“He’s right.” Ricky’s grin meant my discomfort came second to his intentions.
“Ugh.” As I scanned the crowd, thankfully, two familiar faces emerged.
“Welcome to Florida,” Rebecca said, opening her arms wide to pull me into a hug. Once she stepped back, her eyes flicked to Ricky before she added, “I tried to talk him out of it.”
“I’m sure you did.”
“We all did,” Cooper tagged onto his sister’s claim as Rebecca’s husband, Marco, hugged me next.
“Benvenuto,” the handsome Italian man said. “We’re so glad you’re here.”
“Thank you.” My cheeks tinged pink when I addressed the crowd with a dorky wave. “Thank you all for coming.” Receiving smiles, waves, and various welcoming sentiments back didn’t lessen my embarrassment, and I stated as much when Ricky was last to hug me.
“It’s just a small welcoming party.” He defended his underexaggeration of what he considered to be a small welcoming party. “And you need to meet people. So… two birds—one party. Come…” He then grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the waiting strangers. “I’ll introduce you.”
And for the next half hour, that was just what he did. While smiling politely, I knew there was no way I’d ever remember everyone’s name. But thanks to their genuine kindness, and a very yummy frozen margarita Cooper placed in my hand during the introductions, I relaxed enough to begin to enjoy myself.
In retrospect, it was a great idea. I met a fellow runner who ran through all three of her pregnancies and insisted that I take her number if I wanted a jogging partner. Ricky’s cousin Damon knew of a condo that was for sale in his building, which sounded perfect in location. Not to mention it was a great way to kick back and drink one last time before the process would start to get me pregnant.
I already had an appointment scheduled with the fertility specialist that coming week. Their sperm had been collected and frozen, and the egg donations had already been secured. Therefore, because I was just a gestational carrier, my uterus had to be primed and ideal to receive the embryo without ovulating an egg myself. That required close monitoring and injections, which would leave no time for indulgences such as kicking back with a bottle of wine.
Dr. White believed that my age and good health records made conceiving sooner than later a great possibility. If not, we’d repeat the process again next month, or the next, etcetera.
I still worried there could be complications. In vitro fertilization procedures were very expensive, and even though money wasn’t an issue for Cooper and Ricky, I didn’t want to drag the process out for months and months.
So, as I said, tonight was a great way to let loose one last time before things got real. Hours later, I felt no pain thanks to my friends, who repeatedly enabled me with my favorite cocktail. I danced, laughed, and had a great time until the effects of the alcohol and traveling earlier that day began to take their toll.
Wanting to hit the ladies’ room before we headed back to Fort Lauderdale, I strolled through the loud, crowded club, thankful our party wasn’t part of what clearly was a pickup joint for so many. Miami was most definitely the place to be, as was proved through the nightlife, and never had I seen so many beautiful people congregated in one place.
Just before I headed down the hallway that led to the bathrooms, a man called out, “Ree?”
Assuming it was Cooper, I turned with a smile that slid off my face when I saw who it was. Those deep-blue eyes that never failed to make me swoon stared at me while I fumbled through my surprise.
“Ryder?” I responded through a shaky huff while my heart pounded so frantically it competed with the heavy bass music echoing around us.
When his words died beneath the noise level, he took my hand and tugged me toward the exit and onto the sidewalk. “It’s so great to see you!” Instantly, he pulled me into his muscular frame. I hadn’t seen him in three years, yet my body pressed closer as if no time had passed at all. His familiar cologne engulfed my senses, making me miss him so much I could’ve cried.
He seemed different, although appearance-wise nothing really had changed, and he was even more handsome than I remembered. The same incredible body that clothes failed to camouflage. The same thick black hair I had run my hands through more times than I could count. The same dazzling smile that made a person feel as if they were
the light of his life. I had been that to him at one time.
Ryder Carter was him. The one who got away, my first love, my most consuming love. And based on my reaction to seeing him, he clearly had remained in my heart even after all this time. Having him before me literally flipped a switch, and my love was right back where it had been the day he left.
“How long are you visiting?” he went on to ask.
“I… um… I live here now.”
Those gorgeous navy eyes widened. “Here… as in Miami?”
“Fort Lauderdale, actually. In fact, I just arrived today.” For whatever reason, my statement now caused the smile to fall off his face. Before I had the chance to ask why he was in Miami, a pretty blonde I hadn’t noticed approached and placed a hand on his arm.
“There you are.” Her pale eyes flicked between us. “I thought you were going to the men’s room, but then I saw you come out here.” Paranoid much?
“I was but ran into an old friend,” Ryder responded to her while staring at me. It was the same intense gaze he had pegged me with the day we’d met… the same look that could ignite me quicker than a flamethrower. I had to break eye contact; otherwise I didn’t trust myself not to assault him inappropriately… blonde be damned.
As Ryder remained focused on me, she did as well. The woman was stunning and the opposite of me, with a sheath of golden hair and pale-blue eyes that seemed to lack warmth.
Assuming this was his fiancée, or maybe even his wife by now, I waited for an introduction, of which none came. When he then asked, “Maggie, can you give us a minute?” the look on her face made it clear she wasn’t happy. The thorough perusal she made from my head to my toes and back up again made it even clearer. She took her time condescendingly—that wasn’t weird at all.
This Maggie person was nothing like I’d pictured her to be, and I found it hard to see them together.
Maggie never had a chance to respond because we heard, “Ree?” There Cooper stood at the front door, concern written all over his face. “You okay, sweetheart?”
“I’m fine. I’ll be right in.” He nodded and slipped back inside to give me privacy. Not knowing whether a hug was appropriate, or a handshake, because of the icy glare Maggie continued to drill my way, I opted for neither and said, “I have to go. It was great seeing you, Ryder. Take care.” Just as his mouth opened to speak, I gave a hasty wave and scurried back into the club. I needed to find my friends and get the hell out of there… while hoping I could escape without another run-in with the happy couple.
Chapter Four
Ryder
Shit, she was just as beautiful.
Her hair was a bit lighter, those thick waves that always smelled like vanilla draped over bare shoulders, and a sexy sleeveless dark dress skimmed curves I had known so well. But damn if it weren’t her eyes that got me, yet again. No differently than the day we had met at the dentist’s office. No differently than every time she would stare deep into my soul while we’d dated.
I wasn’t sure if the span of time that passed once Riana disappeared back into the loud club had been seconds or an hour. Distracted by memories of the night that I had to tell her of my transfer flashed through my mind, bringing with them familiar aches in my chest. If Maggie hadn’t huffed in annoyance, I probably would’ve still been standing there in shock from seeing her.
Scratch that… if Maggie weren’t there, I would’ve chased Riana into the club.
“Who was that?” Maggie interrupted my reverie, looking past me toward the main entrance.
“An old friend,” I repeated, not bothering to hide my annoyance. And if truth be told, it was because Riana had slipped away and not because of Maggie’s question.
“She looked like more than just a friend.” Her response came with the same level of irritation. “You two have history; that’s obvious.”
“We dated when I lived in Jersey.” Why deny it? “I haven’t seen her in years and was surprised to see her here.” I then gave her a bored expression, not wanting to elaborate further. “Ready to leave?”
“It’s so early,” she snapped briskly.
Ignoring her tone, I nodded. “I’ve had enough.”
Something seemed to occur to her as the attitude morphed into something else, something salacious. The way she slipped her arm around mine and whispered against my ear, “Okay, let’s go,” hinted why her mood had suddenly shifted. In less than ten minutes she was about to be disappointed for a second time tonight.
Without waiting for any sort of confirmation, I slipped out of her hold and headed toward the valet. Forgotten was my need to pee, or the bourbon waiting at the bar where my buddy, Wes Lemont, and his date were probably pawing at one another. I’d shoot him a text. He’d understand.
“It would’ve been nice to have been introduced,” Maggie pouted, chasing me as best she could in her ridiculously high heels.
I wasn’t entirely sure as to why I hadn’t introduced Maggie to Riana. It was rude. In my defense, Maggie and I weren’t on the same page regarding our relationship. Tonight was only the third time we’d been out together. I’d wanted to part ways a few days ago, but Wes had nagged me into coming out.
Apparently, he had his eye on Maggie’s friend, and I was his ticket. Ten minutes after arriving, it was obvious he didn’t need my influence. So there I was, nursing my favorite bourbon while pretending I wanted to be there.
And then I’d excused myself for the men’s room and seen Riana.
My Riana… the one that I’d lost.
The. One.
When a transfer to the West Coast had swung into my life like a wrecking ball, I couldn’t ask her to leave all she had in New Jersey to come with me. She’d already lost so much after her mother had died, and she’d finally found peace through her work. I couldn’t expect her to start over because I had to. But leaving her had broken my heart, and the piece that had remained whole I had left behind with her.
Clearly, she still owned it based on the ache that continued to thrum through me after a five-minute encounter.
The valet pulled my car up to where Maggie and I stood in silence, and the drive to her apartment building wasn’t any different. I felt bad that I had nothing to say. My head was too busy reeling with memories that had long been locked away in a past-life box. That was what Riana represented to me. The past. Leaving her had caused so much pain, I’d had to lock away those memories or they would’ve consumed me.
From the first moment I saw Riana, I had been inexplicably drawn to her. She had liked to tease that our fates had no choice but to collide the day we’d met.
While waiting for my dentist appointment, I had noticed the brunette beauty sitting across the room in one of the other stiffly upholstered chairs. Her big brown eyes bounced between the magazine she casually flipped through and the TV mounted on the wall. Sensing my gaze, our eyes connected, and I couldn’t seem to look away. Neither could she, even as her cheeks tinged a rosy hue most likely from the way I unapologetically continued to stare.
“R. Carter?” the nurse practitioner I never had seen before that day called into the waiting room.
We both stood, took a step toward the woman, and paused.
“I’m Ryder Carter,” I said just as she said, “I’m Riana Carter.”
The elderly woman’s hot-pink-tinted lips lifted into an amused smirk. “I’m calling Ryder Carter, but if you two don’t know each other, I think you need to after this. I’m a sucker for romance. I’ll even pay for your dinner.”
And that was how we came to be. Even though I didn’t see Riana again that day, I tracked her down and found a Riana Carter who worked at a nonprofit organization in Newark. Just as I’d shamelessly stared at her in that waiting room, I brazenly stalked into her place of work and asked her out.
I made her mine.
The few years we were together were easy ones. We just fit. There was never any drama between us. My demanding career as a sports agent had me traveling a lot, along with long of
fice hours whenever I was home. So many times, I had to cancel on her, hating that I had to. She never once complained, always understanding the reasons why. Riana was the kindest person I had ever met. Compassion came as naturally as breathing. It was inevitable to fall hard and fast for her.
When my biggest client’s transfer to a California team coincided with an executive leaving the LA office, my boss promoted me. Part of me wanted so badly for her to volunteer to come with me. Again, I couldn’t ask her to do that… nor would I have put up a fight had she offered. But Riana’s clients at Angels on Earth were too important to her. I couldn’t take offense to her choosing them, not when I was leaving her for a similar reason.
So much had happened since we’d parted three years earlier. We’d kept in touch for a while, and then only on birthdays until communication ended. Mainly because I had met Diane and found happiness again… kind of. She helped me forget Riana and move on. I thought of proposing, because that was the natural next step… which was not the right reason.
But as it had before, life happened in the way of another transfer to Florida. Diane was California born and bred, pursuing a modeling career, and wanted no part of that move. That obviously killed any plans of a proposal. In fact, I often wondered: If I hadn’t been transferred, would we have made it? My gut said no.
There I was with another failed relationship because of my job. It was the nature of the business, and I couldn’t bring myself to regret my choices. But having said that, I couldn’t stop wondering what would’ve been if I had asked Riana to make that first move with me.
“Are you coming up?” The invite became an accusation through Maggie’s tone.
“Actually, I’m exhausted.” Leaning toward her, I pecked her cheek with my lips. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
Two crystal-blue daggers shot straight through me. So different than the warm brown eyes that had practically brought me to my knees even all this time later.
Like a magic trick, a switch flipped, and I knew Maggie and I were over before things even began. It wasn’t fair to compare the girl I once loved to the girl beside me… still, I couldn’t not.