Amelia reached out to hold it as she said, “This necklace would make even Isabella Thorpe green with envy.”
I mentally turned up my nose. The book where Jane Austen tried to be a Brontë never read as true to me. I sipped my wine and said, “Northanger Abbey is my least favorite Austen book.”
Charlotte took the necklace from Amelia and held it like she was afraid it might break as she said, “It’s not so bad. If you do forgive him, maybe one day he’ll give you a hoop ring you can show off to all of us.”
I chuckled. Only those of us who spent too much time reading and breathing the Regency would want a five-stone ring of various colors as our betrothal or engagement ring. Not that I’d ever be betrothed, but I did wish the rules were simpler now.
I took my new necklace back and said, “Everyone else in the world might think we’re crazy, but I love you guys for trying to help me feel better.”
Once the necklace was firmly returned to its box and hidden in the bag, I stood and group-hugged my friends. While I sucked at finding love, I hadn’t lucked out with my true friends.
I wished that was enough, but Charlie’s kiss earlier rattled me.
Chapter 16
Charlie
Stephanie had been in a meeting all day, but I’d met with her manager, Margot, four times, and understood entirely why Stephanie promoted her. No one else in the company had the gall to look me in the eye and tell me “no”.
So now it was six, our agreed-upon early dinner time, and I wasn’t sure she’d even come. However, I got to my feet as soon as I saw her saunter toward me in a loose black dress that hid her sexy curves.
She reached me and I kissed her cheek, wanting to run my nose over her dewy soft skin, and wished we could go back in time, to before I told her everything.
I waited for her to sit and said, “I’m glad you came.”
She glanced at the menu and said, “I said I would.” Without missing a beat, she ordered the chicken. I quickly chose the lobster.
Next, she reached into her pocketbook and took out three jewelry boxes, set them on the table in front of me, and said, “And besides, these are yours. Please stop giving me gifts.”
I reached for the back of her hand, needing a connection, and whispered, “You’re still hurt.”
“Of course.” She took her hand back and shook her head. “You used me. I started looking for a job and an apartment today, so hopefully, this will all be over in a few weeks.”
If we didn’t fix this, she’d disappear from my life forever. “I don’t want that.”
The waiter returned with our dinner. She asked him to bring the check so we could dash afterward.
My heart missed a beat and then raced, like I’d already lost her. Once we were alone, she said, “I wish I’d mattered to you more before…Bath.”
I sipped my water, unsure of what to say. Feelings never made sense to me. Ideas surfaced so easily, but so had whatever was unfolding between me and Stephanie. Until I’d ruined it. I broke bread and said, “I didn’t know Logan would show up, but I intended to tell you that day.”
She cut her chicken and took one bite. It took forever for her to chew it, but finally she finished and said, “Doesn’t matter. The truth came out, which is what it’s supposed to do, I suppose.”
She put her fork down and I scooted closer to her as I said, “It feels different between us now.”
She let out a sigh and shook her head. “What is it you want from me, Charlie?” Shaking her head again, she concentrated on stirring her hot tea.
“To be honest, I want you beside me. But I also wish I knew for sure that you aren’t here to marry a rich man, like your sisters have done.”
Her face went white and she stopped twirling her spoon in the cup. “Didn’t you say you met Carter Rockson?”
As a boy, I mastered some sleight-of-hand magic tricks, and I used that old skill now to slip the jewelry boxes back in her bag, saying, “Yes, and since we’re discussing your family, I’ve also met Jacob Donovan.”
She raised her eyebrow at me and said, “Okay, then call either of them...or both if you want...and ask them if they think their wives married them for their money.”
No man would ever admit to being duped, but I reached for her hand anyway, and said, “I will.”
She put her hands on her lap and said, “It’s only about noon in Texas. Call Carter now.”
I reached for my back pocket. “Right now?”
She shrugged and said, “Yes, while I finish my chicken.”
My phone rang and I put it on speaker. But it went to voicemail, so I hung up. She hadn’t touched her fork again, so I waved to her plate and said, “You never actually eat that meal you order. Why do you continue to do it?”
She picked up her fork and took another bite. Once she finished, she said, “It’s fine.”
Stephanie was a puzzle. “That’s not an answer.”
She stabbed another piece of chicken with her fork and waved it at me, saying, “I order this because I know how it tastes, so it’s safe. I’m not surprised by chicken, so I don’t need to put my guard up.”
She bit into it like she needed to make a point.
I rested my forearms on either side of my plate and said, “So this chicken is because of Richard, too.”
The small “ha” out of her mouth wasn’t a laugh, but she added, “At least I show my pain. You brought up this Willow person as a wall last night when you shoved me out of your life.”
Finally. If we talked about this, maybe we could move on. I nodded and said, “You left on your own. I wanted you to stay.”
She put her silverware down like she’d just thrown the ancient gauntlet that started a war. “No, you didn’t. Let’s at least not lie to each other anymore.”
I gulped my water and waited for the server to leave after dropping off the bill. “I told you I needed space because things were moving so fast.”
Her face went red and she closed her eyes for a moment before saying, “You never said that. I suppose I get it. But here’s the thing…you said you needed proof that I’m not after your money.”
Maybe she had an answer that would help us get back to where we were before I torpedoed her with the truth. I told her so she could forgive me, but staying away from her actually hurt physically, in a way I’d never experienced before or wanted to feel ever again. “Yeah?”
She took a deep breath, like she needed to find the right words, and said, “And your solution was to show up in my apartment, unannounced, to give me diamonds, like that would fix everything.”
She was beautiful without any artifice. It was like she cut deep into me, far deeper than even my parents ever had. I massaged the back of my neck and said, “You’re the first woman it hasn’t worked on, to be honest.”
“And you bought me an apartment, gave me a job, and say you want to date. But now it feels forced. I’ve never thought I’d accept anyone’s handout.”
My temples were actually throbbing at this point. I was never this affected if a business deal failed, and the only thing I would think of to say was, “They’re not handouts.”
She sniffled and her shoulders dropped. “They are. And, if I wanted to accept a handout, I’d call someone I’m related to.”
Behind me, Richard’s irritated voice said, “I’d hoped the rumors that you broke things up were true.”
Stephanie clutched her napkin as she demanded, “Why are you here, Richard? I’m beginning to think you’ve been stalking us.”
He pretended I wasn’t even there, saying, “Yes. Ann has called off the wedding.”
“Time to go.” I said quickly. The last thing Stephanie needed was to have Richard back in her life.
She played with her necklace and asked, “Okay? And?”
He knelt down in front of her. “I hope you’ll take me back.”
I lost it. Violence wasn’t normally part of me, but I was ready to slam the guy’s head down on the table. First, I gave him a warni
ng. “Get out. Now, Richard.”
She reached out and took my hand like she needed to calm me. Her trick work as I stilled and she said to Richard, “No. Wait. You want me back. That’s what you said?”
His eyes lowered. “Yes.”
As soon as I tensed up again, she squeezed my hand and said, “Charlie, I’m handling this.”
She glared at Richard. “Fuck. No. If you ever come near me again, so help me…I’ll call the hit man I was offered in jest, steal his gun, and shoot you myself.”
Richard stared at me and said, “So violent. I hope you heard that.”
“The lady told you to leave,” I repeated. Her hand on mine was strong and familiar. I’d do anything to keep her.
Her face was white and firm when she said, “Get out—now, Richard.”
Finally, he walked away. Once I was sure we were alone, I squeezed her hand and, for the first time today, had bubbles of hope like champagne sparkling in my veins. “Hit man?”
She glanced over my shoulder before she withdrew her hand, taking a deep breath. “He’s gone.”
She closed her eyes for a moment before saying, “Yes. At my sister Olivia’s wedding, her new husband offered to hire one for me, but I refused.”
I drummed my fingers on the table. “The Dawes family always made me pause. I don’t run circles like that.”
She put her napkin on the table and her cheeks were pink and gaze warmer than what I’d just seen when she said, “No. Of course not, but I should be telling you the same thing I told Richard. You need to leave me alone.”
The air wasn’t going into my lungs. I’d never lost anyone or anything before. “I never cheated on you.”
She wiped her eyes and kept her voice down, but she said, “No, but you didn’t trust me, and you lied to me.”
She stood up and collected her purse when I said, “So what we shared doesn’t matter to you?”
She stopped and cupped my face. For a second, it was like we were alone when she said, “I wish it didn’t. I wish I didn’t love you, but I do. And yet, that doesn’t matter. Because the truth is…I’m not good enough for you. And nothing I ever do will prove to you that I am. So thank you for the dinner, but I have to go.”
She loved me? My chest was hollow, but my heart yelled that I was a damn fool. I jumped up and said, “Stephanie, wait.”
“Goodbye,” she said, and ran out of the restaurant.
I signed the bill and left right after her. If I lost the one good woman I ever found, then I didn’t deserve any of the blessings in my life.
I needed to apologize.
Chapter 17
Stephanie
The museum night restored a sense of normalcy, though when I put on my light blue Regency debutante dress and styled my hair, I had a feeling that this was it.
I’d told him how I felt. I’d never regret that. We weren’t meant to be. The deal was done.
So I waited for my ride and made sure all my bags were packed. Tomorrow, I would pack this last costume, but at least I had a chance to say goodbye.
Nothing was left for me to do. My time in London was coming to a close.
As I entered the Regency-era party, I followed the rules of etiquette in greeting the host and hostess near the door and made my way to my friends. We stood near the dance floor where people we knew danced and other acquaintances played whist or sat on the couches talking. I started with Sophia and whispered, “I bought a plane ticket home to Pittsburgh.”
She gasped, like I’d just announced that our friendship was over. She recovered and said, “You did? You’re leaving?”
Charlotte hugged me.
I hugged her back and said, “I didn’t mean to stay in London as long as I have. So this is my last big event.”
Amelia blinked like she didn’t understand and asked, “What about next year in Bath?”
For the past few years we’d all stayed in the same hotel room and helped each other. Being with them was why I’d been able to stay as long as I had. I squeezed Amelia’s hand and said, “Maybe I’ll fly in for the festivities, or maybe it’s time to stop.”
Sophia took charge, though her eyes were misty too. “We’ll miss you terribly.”
I hugged her. Ending my time here in Regency gear was fitting, though having these events had probably been a way of not living my life. I whispered back, “I’ll miss you, too.”
The four of us joined the others on the dance floor. The circular style of the English Country Dance made being a quartet easier and fun for the last time we danced together. However, when the Cotillion began, we bowed out.
While we sipped our drinks together for the last time, I was happily lost in the Regency era, when the rules were simple.
But my hair stood on end when another woman joined our group and said, “Stephanie?”
I pivoted but otherwise did nothing. In this era, to make a scene was to court social ruin, but I lifted my chin and said, “Ann? What do you want?”
Ann’s face was red as she said, “I want to apologize. I was so jealous of you and Richard that I threw myself at him relentlessly. But now I’m pregnant and I’m trying to straighten out my life. So I am truly sorry.”
Wow. He’d thought he could return to me when Ann was pregnant. He wasn’t even worthy of being a Collins, even if he was somewhat overweight. My heart raced. Richard truly was more a Wickham character. So I said, “It’s okay, Ann. If he loved me the way I thought he did, he would never have never gone to you.”
She rested her hands on her belly like she was protecting herself, glancing around before she asked, “So where’s your new boyfriend?”
I clutched my mother’s pendant while my heart raced. “Charlie is—”
“Right there.” Sophia pointed to the door.
Charlotte let out a sigh and said, “He looks even more dashing in that outfit.”
I turned...and there he was, wearing a black top hat, white starched shirt with an intricately tied red and gold cravat in his Scottish tartan pattern, tight coat with a black vest, and full-length black pants that showed off his very fit physique.
Our gazes met and my heart skipped a beat. Every cell in my body wanted to run into his arms and never let go.
But that was running to disaster. I knew better. I left my circle of friends and made my way toward him.
As we met in the middle of the room, he moistened his lips, as if to speak. My own tingled for a kiss.
He’d come. He did care.
I held a finger to my lips and pointed toward the next room.
The Egyptian art exhibit next to the Regency room was the only place where lovers could escape society’s attention tonight, so I nodded toward the exhibit room and said, “One moment.”
We entered the excavated tombs exhibit, and it did seem that we were alone.
I ignored my pounding heart and asked, “Charlie, what are you doing here?”
He took my gloved hand in his and squeezed. “You told me you love me then stormed out before I could say anything. I needed to see you again.”
I blinked away the sting of tears. Fuck. He had a new weapon to use against me. I faced the railing that separated us from the exhibit and said, “Why? Are you so determined to call all the shots in any potential relationship that you can’t let me go?”
He rested his hand on my waist. “That’s not it at all.”
My cells were alive and clamoring to be his. My arms pinged like I needed to hold him tight, but I shook my head. “Charlie…”
My voice trailed off as he pressed closer. My stomach did sweet flips as he said, “When you said you loved me, my heart about jumped out of my chest to shout, ‘Yes’! I shouldn’t have put up that wall so suddenly. I love you, too.”
Wow. My heart whispered, “This is it”. He loves me. I ignored the butterflies and the words I’d longed to hear and said, “You don’t show it.”
He let me go. “What?”
He was just like Richard, only worse. He arranged his
world to suit himself, and I hadn’t mattered. I swallowed and ignored my raw throat to say, “You lied to me. You kicked me out. Then, you didn’t expect me to react and decided it was okay to dictate our relationship.”
He took a step back. “I am sorry.”
Now, I cringed. This was sincere regret. I knew it. My stomach was in a knot when I said, “I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have told you how I felt. But it doesn’t matter now.”
I turned to leave, but he said, “Love always matters, Stephanie.”
My heart went mushy. But he wasn’t for me. We were from different worlds, and in the end, if I went back to him, I’d be hurt even worse. So I ignored my desires and shook my head. “No. Love gets me hurt. Over and over again. I need to get off this merry-go-round.”
His lips thinned when he said, “I was an asshole to you.”
I reached for his face and cupped his cheek, just for a moment. My body ached because this was the last time I’d ever see him.
I swallowed and fought my own impulses as I said, “You were, and I let you. So now I need to go.”
He paled and tugged his waistcoat down, looking like I’d slapped him, and he bowed. “I see. I’m sorry I bothered you.”
His perfectly polished shoes stepped away. I took a few moments to catch my breath. This was it. I was done.
No turning away from what I’d done. My stomach was queasy, though.
And I rocked on my feet.
The question that kept running through my mind was, if he really did love me, for me, as he’d just said, I’d be leaving the only man who ever truly mattered.
For now, I headed back to my friends. They were still sipping their wine and taking their turn to sit on the couch. I joined them, and swallowed back my tears when Sophia asked, “What happened?”
“Nothing.” I stood and hugged every one of them. “Maybe, when I get home to America, I’ll find myself a nice, simple guy who just loves me. He doesn’t need to be a billionaire like Charlie.”
Charlotte stopped me and asked, “What did he say?”
Scottish Seducer: Opposites Attract: Jane Austin fangirl and the Scottish Billionaire (Steel Series Book 6) Page 10