by Amy Brown
“Sure.” His expression is enigmatic.
As I lower myself to the ground, and get in my truck, I have a gnawing in the pit of my stomach. I’ve never seen Travis look at me the way he just did. We’ve been best friends for so long, I’ve come to depend on his belief in me. He’s always respected me, even if we didn’t see eye to eye on things. Neither one of us is perfect, nor have I ever felt the need to be, around Travis. But the way he looked at me just now, that wasn’t something I ever want to see in his eyes again.
I’ve been doing a lot of rationalizing about my behavior lately. Charity drives me to do things I don’t really enjoy doing. But ultimately, I’m responsible for my behavior. My more rational side knows this. My desperation to hang on to power, and get what I want, is turning me into someone I’m not proud of. I’ve never been perfect, but I did have my self-respect.
Once she’s gone, you’ll go back to normal.
Yes. I make a silent promise to myself. Once Charity Ballard has cleared out of Longhorn Academy, I’ll stop giving in to my dark side. She’s the problem. It can’t be me. No, she’s the problem. The sooner she’s gone, the better.
Chapter Ten
Charity
“Come on, don’t you think a party might be just what we need to let go of some stress?” Paula smiles at me, her brown eyes hopeful. “I just want to let loose.”
We’re at her house, doing our nails on Thursday evening. She talked me into a sort of spa experience, and then she sprung the news that Gregory was throwing a party on me. “But, it’s a school night.”
“So?” She laughs. “Tomorrows Friday. We can take a half day if we want.”
“True,” I murmur, trying to think up some other valid reason why we shouldn’t go to Gregory’s event. “I’m not dressed for a party.” I can see the wheels turning the moment I make my excuse.
“I have a dress that will be perfect for you.” She jumps up, and opens her large walk-in closet. She disappears into the space without another word.
“I’m taller than you. The hem will come up to my chin.” I laugh.
“No. They sent me the wrong size,” she calls out.
“I’m not sure about this.” I frown. I’m not really in the mood for a party. I had two tests today, and I’m still stressed out about what to do about Mason’s threat against Luke. I only have a few days left to convince my mom to let me transfer, but I’ve yet to bring it up to her. I don’t know how to broach the subject.
She comes out of the closet with a baby blue dress. She holds it against herself. “It’s pretty, right?”
I examine the dress, nodding. “It’s awesome.” The dress is a silky material with a pretty sheen. The sleeves are gauzy and sheer, and I actually love the dress.
“The color matches your eyes.” She comes closer, looking pleased with herself. “So no excuse. I know this will fit you.”
“You really want to go to a party?” I examine my pink nails. “I thought we were just having a quiet night together.”
“I know. But Gregory really wants us to come, and I hate letting him down.”
I smile. “He really wants you to come. He doesn’t care if I show up.”
“That’s not true.” Her cheeks are rosy.
She’s adorably clueless about how much Gregory likes her. It’s so obvious to the rest of us, but she just thinks he wants to be her friend. “One of these days you’ll realize how irresistible you are.”
“Hardly.” She wrinkles her nose.
She’s gorgeous, but obviously unaware of that fact. Her onyx hair is cut in a pixie style, and her eyes are a caramel brown. She’s petite, but curvy. She doesn’t notice how the guys stare at her, but I sure do. “If you really want to go, I’ll go.”
“Really?” She squeaks, looking excited.
“Of course. Anything for you.” I grin. She’s right. We need a night out where we just have fun. Things have been a bit strained since I turned the tables on Mason. My group of friends seem to feel uncomfortable about how the rest of the students have decided I’m the spokesperson against The Elites. It’s not a job I ever wanted, but if it helps keep The Elites down, I’ll give a million speeches.
She runs over and hugs me, and I laugh. She’s a very demonstrative person, I’ve had to get used to it. It freaked me out more in the beginning, but now I know it’s just how she is.
I wore silver wedge sandals to her house because we were doing the mani/pedi thing. That works out because they go with the blue dress perfectly. She wears a red dress that makes her pale skin look creamy and smooth. Once we have our hair and makeup done, we stand next to each other in front of the mirror.
“We look pretty darn good,” she says. “Those boys won’t know what hit them.”
I smile, inwardly cringing at the idea of guys I’m not interested in hitting on me. The only guy who truly caught my eye since being at Longhorn was Mason, and he’s the biggest asshole that ever lived.
“Ready?” she asks, grabbing her purse and keys.
“Yep.” I follow her downstairs.
Her mom is on the couch watching the news, and muttering under her breath. Apparently her parents are very active in local politics, and her dad has even considered running for mayor.
“Mom, we’re heading out,” Paula says brightly.
Her mom turns and smiles. “Wowza. Your dresses are a little short, don’t you think?”
Paula grimaces. “Mom, this is just the style.”
Raising her brows, her mom sighs. “It’s a school night. Who has a party on a Thursday?”
“Gregory. He’s unconventional.”
Her mom doesn’t look impressed. “I want you home no later than 11:30.”
“You’ve got it.” Paula says, and we head to the door.
“Drive safe and no drinking!” her mom calls after us.
Paula doesn’t respond, but once we’re outside she says, “If she thinks we’re not drinking she’s crazy.”
I laugh. “She’s just being a mom.”
“I know.” She unlocks the doors to her Mercedes. “It’s just ironic because when her and dad go out, they drink like fish.”
I slide into her car, inhaling the leather smell. “Parents have to say that stuff, or they don’t feel like they’re doing their job.”
“That’s the truth.” She starts the engine, and we head down the long driveway toward the main road. She pushes some buttons on the dash, and Ariana Grande pumps through the speakers. I lean back, trying to ignore the anxiety that wants to bubble up. I’m feeling very antisocial, and definitely not looking forward to the party. But part of being a good friend is doing shit you hate, to make others happy.
“I’ve never been to one of Gregory’s parties,” I say. The last party I went to was Travis’s the night Sophia attacked me. That seems like a million years ago.
“You wouldn’t know it to look at him, but he throws great parties.” She grins. “He seems like he’d have boring dinner parties, where he would talk about global warming, but his parties aren’t like that at all. He has lots of booze and snacks.”
“Sounds like my kind of party.”
“There might even be a DJ. You never know with Gregory.” She sighs.
I study her profile. “Has he ever had a girlfriend?”
She frowns. “He dated a girl freshman year. I think they knew each other in middle school. But they broke up after a few weeks at Longhorn. She cheated on him I think.”
“Seriously? Gregory is gorgeous, rich, smart, and nice. What the hell was she looking for?” I laugh.
“He is pretty cool.” She grips the wheel tight. “It’s hard to know what to do with him.”
“What do you mean?”
She shrugs. “Well, we started off as friends. If we try to date, and it doesn’t work, then I’ve lost one of my best friends.”
“Why wouldn’t it work? You guys get along great.”
“Who knows? Sometimes things just don’t work out.”
“Ok
ay, true.” I frown. “But does that necessarily mean you’d lose his friendship?”
“It would definitely make things awkward.”
“Yeah.” I nod. She’s right. I think things get awkward because usually it’s only one person who doesn’t think it’s working. That means the other person feels rejected, which leads to them pulling away.
“But liking him and never acting on it, that isn’t fun either,” she says softly.
“Not to mention some other bitch might swoop in and get him.” I laugh.
She winces. “God, that would suck.”
“Yes. Especially since he likes you too.”
She’s quiet for a few minutes, then she says, “Maybe tonight I’ll try and be flirtier.”
“Great idea.”
We arrive at Gregory’s house, and the place is already buzzing with partygoers. There are cars parked all along the street and driveway. “Shit. Looks like the whole school is here tonight,” she says.
An uneasy feeling settles in my gut. “You don’t think Sophia will be here, right?”
“I doubt it. Gregory hates her.” She gets lucky and finds a parking spot not too far from the main gates.
We get out of the car, and make our way up the long paved driveway. I tug at the hem of my dress as we walk. I’m starting to think maybe Paula’s mom was right about our dresses being too short. By the time we reach the house we’re both a little out of breath. The house is practically glowing, and the music thumps through my chest as we walk up the front steps.
Gregory is at the front door and his face lights up when he sees us. The way he runs his gaze over Paula is not lost on me. He hugs us, and his hand lingers on Paula’s back. God, these two need to make a move on each other. It’s so obvious they are infatuated.
“I’m so glad you made it.” Gregory grins.
“I didn’t know you were having a party until tonight.” I smile at Paula.
Gregory frowns. “I’m sure I mentioned it at lunch a few times.”
“I’ve been a little distracted.” I grimace. “But luckily Paula remembered.”
“Yes.” He nods. “Follow me, I’ll show you the way to the bar.”
“Yes, please,” Paula says breathlessly.
He plows through the crowd of people who are hopping up and down to Lady Gaga’s latest song. I get a few elbows in the ribcage, but eventually we arrive at a long table with bottles of booze. Red solo cups are stacked in between the various liquors, and Gregory fills our cups with ice.
“What will you have?” he shouts, trying to be heard over the music.
“Anything, so long as it’s strong,” Paula responds, grinning.
I trust them to handle the drink situation, and I peruse the crowded living room. I recognize most of the faces, and everybody seems to be having a great time. I hope that after a few drinks I’ll be in more of a party mood. I accidentally catch the eye of one blond guy leaning nearby. He smiles, and when I smile back, he seems to take that as an invitation to approach.
I stuff down my instinctive groan, and when he reaches me, I force a smile. Luckily Gregory also hands me my drink, and I immediately take a big gulp. I have no idea what I’m drinking, but it’s strong enough to eat chrome off of a tea pot. I cough, and pat my chest, as my eyes tear up.
The blond guy laughs. “You okay?” he asks.
I nod, and take another sip to prove I’m not a total wimp. This time I’m prepared for the bitter burning liquid so it goes down easier. Paula and Gregory are talking and laughing a few feet away, and the blond guy leans closer.
“My names Patrick,” he yells.
“Charity,” I say loudly, gesturing to myself.
He nods. “Yeah, I know who you are.”
I don’t recognize him, so I’m not sure how he knows me. I guess it’s possible I don’t know every student’s face at Longhorn. I focus on my beverage, not sure what to talk about with him. Usually I can think of things to say, but I’m feeling so antisocial, I’m not at my best.
I appreciate that at least he doesn’t immediately try and hit on me. He just stands near me, moving his head to the beat of the music. We stand like that for a while, and usually it might be awkward, but Patrick actually seems perfectly relaxed. He doesn’t seem to care that we’re not talking. I like that. It helps me relax. By the time I’ve finished my first drink, I feel more friendly.
Gregory takes my empty glass and hands me a full one. I smile at him. He grins back and winks. Paula sways to the music, and Gregory grabs her hand and tugs her toward the dance floor. She hands me her drink, and reluctantly goes to dance. I watch them, smiling because I can’t help it.
“I’ve known Gregory my whole life,” Patrick volunteers. “He’s a great guy.”
“I agree.” I smile.
“Did you want to dance?” he asks.
I grimace. “Not yet. Thanks though.”
“Sure. I just thought I should at least ask.” He laughs.
Lisa comes up to me, along with Paul and Scott. They all greet Patrick and I realize apparently I’m the only one who has no idea who he is. I watch Patrick as he talks and laughs with the others. He’s really cute. He has a nice body, and kind brown eyes. The tequila is beginning to make me feel warm and fuzzy, and the idea of talking and dancing with Patrick doesn’t seem so bad anymore.
When Patrick smiles over at me at one point, I smile back with feeling. He perks up a bit, I think maybe he thought I wasn’t interested, and so he’d been backing off. I appreciate that he didn’t just try to force himself on me if I didn’t seem into him. But now that I’ve given him a warmer smile, he seems willing to try again.
He comes closer. “I don’t usually go to many parties.”
“Me neither,” I say. The last party I was at didn’t go so well for me. I’m annoyed that thinking about that night makes me think about Mason. Mason and his full lips and beautiful green eyes.
No. Mason the bastard who threatened Luke.
I need to remember that he’s a monster. He may have come to my rescue a few times, but deep down, he’s obviously a horrible person.
“Do you ride?” Patrick asks.
“Ride?” I frown.
“Horses. Do you like to ride horses?” he asks, smiling.
He really is handsome. My heart flutters a little when he leans closer. My eyes are pinned on his mouth. I wonder what it would be like to kiss him. I’m curious if he kisses better than Mason, or if kissing him will make me miss Mason.
Why the fuck am I obsessing about Mason when I hate him?
When Patrick licks his lower lip, I meet his gaze. There’s attraction hovering deep in his warm brown eyes. He starts talking about how he grew up riding, and that he’s done some bull rodeo riding. His voice is nice, husky. By the time I’m on my third drink, I’m sure I want to kiss him. He’s funny, and he makes me laugh a lot. It feels so nice to just relax and have fun with a guy. Mason always makes me feel on edge, like I have to be on my toes, or he’ll cut my throat. Patrick has a gentle, open energy. He’s not hiding shit from me, or planning to ruin my life. He’s just a nice normal guy who thinks I’m attractive and wants to get to know me. He’s not a terrible person like Mason.
Fuck Mason. Fuck him to hell and back.
The room is warm, and all the bodies are throwing off so much body heat, I feel a little sweaty. I glance around, not sure where Paula is. I’m feeling pretty buzzed. The drinks Gregory made me were very strong, and hitting me hard suddenly. When Patrick leans close, I lift my face to him. I want to taste him. I want him to make me forget Mason. I need to feel something for someone other than Mason.
His mouth touches mine, and he presses against me. I open my mouth to his tongue, and he slips his arm around my waist, tugging me against him. His dick is hard against my thigh, and I moan. Maybe I should let him fuck me. I want to be taken by another guy other than Mason. It’s not right that he’s the only guy who ever had me. I don’t want that to be true. I don’t want him to be specia
l in any way. If I let Patrick fuck me, then Mason will just be another guy I used to know.
“Hey, you two.” Paula speaks next to me. “Get a room.”
When Patrick lifts his head, I find Paula and Gregory grinning at us. My face is hot, and Patrick laughs awkwardly.
“Sorry. I got carried away,” Patrick says.
“Me too.” I nod, my lips tingling from his kiss. I’m a little annoyed Paula interrupted. I’m busy trying to erase Mason from my memory banks, and now he’s going to creep back in.
A red haired girl comes up, and grabs hold of Patrick’s sleeve. She’s obviously inebriated, and her mascara is smeared under her green eyes. “I remember you,” she slurs.
Patrick frowns, but then he nods. “Oh, yeah. Salina, right?”
She smiles. “You remembered.”
“Of course.” Patrick shoots me an apologetic look, and I’m not sure what message he’s trying to send. Is he trying to indicate he’s into her? Is he just being nice to her, and unsure how to brush her off?
Salina leans on Patrick. “Please dance with me. Please. Please. Please.” She sounds like a little girl, and I see a muscle working in Patrick’s jaw. He’s not sure how to say no.
Ahhh. That’s sweet.
“Yeah, dance with her, Patrick,” I say, laughing. He doesn’t belong to me, and there’s no reason he shouldn’t dance with her if he wants to.
“You sure it’s okay?” he asks.
It’s nice that he cares about hurting her feelings and mine. He’s obviously a very nice guy. I wave at him. “Dance. I can amuse myself.” I hold my empty glass out to Gregory. “Fill her up, garson.”
Gregory takes my glass, shaking his head. “That’s a horrible French accent, Charity.”
“Merci beaucoup.” I smirk.
He chuckles and refills my drink. When he hands it to me, he says against my ear. “I’m cutting you off for a while after this one, so drink slow.”
I scowl at him. “I’m having fun. Is that not allowed?”
“Of course it is. But I don’t want you puking in Paula’s car.” He pats my head.
I roll my eyes, and sip my drink. I don’t get drunk very often, but tonight I’m feeling the need to get wasted. I have way too much stress in my life. I don’t know how to handle it all, and drinking is helping to numb me.