"I guess, but I also tend to like it up here," I tell her. "It's peaceful, and no one comes to bother me."
She laughs, and it's a beautiful sound. "I know. That's why you showed it to me. For the times I just need to get away from everything."
It's not a lie. I did show her this place. But it wasn't because she needed to get away. It's because this is the one place where we're away from the prying eyes of others. Where we don't need to pretend to be something we're not. Where we don't need to care what we say or how we look. It's just us. It's all that matters.
For the first time since I got here, she turns her head and smiles at me in the way she does that makes everyone stop and admire her beauty. It's like you don't have a choice when it comes to her. It's something I've always admired about her, but I'll never let that admission ever leave my mouth.
As she goes to reach for my hand, she stops, and every feeling in me changes. I don't feel comfortable anymore. Instead, there is a heavy feeling in my stomach.
This isn't real.
She isn't real.
"You're dead," I breathe. "We were up here, and you died."
Her smile turns to a sad one, and she looks away. "I know."
"Davi, I'm being charged with your murder."
She nods, keeping her eyes focused on the ground in front of us. "I know."
I grip my hair and try to get myself out of this nightmare, but it's no use. I'm stuck. "We were on this roof, and you..."
"I what, Jace?"
The words won't come. They can't. For the same reason I haven't been able to speak about it, I can't even say it here, in some alternate version of reality inside my head.
"No." I start to panic and stand up. "This isn't real. Why won't you just leave me alone?"
She gets up to follow me. "I'm not real. I'm in your head. So why don't you ask yourself that?"
"I just want it to stop."
"It can't. Not until you admit what happened."
I shake my head rapidly. "No."
"What happened, Jace? What happened that night?"
"I said no!" I roar, but instead of being scared, she just smirks.
I watch as she walks over to the edge of the roof and jumps up onto the ledge, walking it like a tightrope. "Why are you doing this to me?"
"I'm not doing anything to you," she answers. "I'm not even really here."
"Stop fucking with me, Davianna!" I take a few steps closer to the edge, where she's not-so-skillfully dancing on the line of danger. "Why won't you just leave me alone? I've been trying to move on."
A cynical laugh echoes into the air. "With Paige. I know." She rolls her eyes. "That girl irritates the shit out of me. She's so goddamn needy."
"Don't talk about her like that. You don't even know her."
"Oh, but I do," she teases. "I'm in your head, remember? I know everything there is to know about her. Like the way she looks when she sleeps, and your fears of her leaving when she knows what a shitty person you really are. And she will, Jace. She's going to leave."
"Shut up."
Throwing her head back, she cackles evilly. "When are you just going to accept it? You should've been the one to die that night. Not me. You."
"Stop talking. Stop fucking talking!" My patience is running thin with every word she says.
She spins around, almost falling right off the side of the building, but catches herself. "Not until you face the facts."
I'm trying everything I can to force myself awake, but I just can't seem to escape. "Wake up. Wake up. Wake up!"
"I told you," she says, bending down until she's eye level with me. "Face it, Jace. I'm all you have. You're. Stuck. With. Me."
My anger and panic takes over, and before I know it, I snap. "I said stop talking!"
As if I'm not able to control my own body, my hands fly out, and before I know it, Davianna is gone—plummeting down until she's nothing but a stain on the pavement.
I jolt awake, gasping for air and gripping anything near me for a sense of reality. Every time I dream of her, it feels so goddamn real, and I lose my ability to breathe. It's like she's always there. Always trying to get under my skin. Always trying to make me suffer for what I did.
Doesn't she know I hate myself enough as it is?
TIME TICKS BY SLOWLY until a guard comes and lets me know that my lawyer is here. I jump down off my bunk and allow him to put the handcuffs on me. We go down multiple hallways before ending up in a small conference room. My dad and our lawyer, Finn Bradford—the best defense attorney in the country—are both sitting there, and I've never been so relieved to see them.
The guard removes the cuffs, and the first thing I do is go hug my dad. He holds me tight and pats me on the back, whispering that we're going to fix this and that everything will be okay. I'm not sure I believe him, but I keep any doubts I have inside. Once I'm done, I shake Finn's hand and take a seat.
"How are you doing, Jace?" Finn asks.
I huff sarcastically. "I've been better, clearly."
He nods slowly. "Understandable. Trust me when I say I'm doing everything I can to get you out of here. I have one idea that we'll go over in a minute, just as soon as—"
The door opens and Carter's dad walks in. "Sorry I'm late. It takes forever to check into this damn place."
"It's fine. You're here now," my dad tells him.
My brows furrow as rage fills me. "What the fuck is he doing here?"
The look on my dad's face tells me he has no idea what I'm so mad about. "He wants to help."
"Bullshit he does!" I shout. "He knew I was going to get arrested this whole time."
"Jace—" Mr. Trayland tries to put his hand on my shoulder, but I shrug him off.
"Don't fucking touch me!"
The guard bangs on the glass—a warning for me to settle down, but I'm not going to let him act like he gives a shit. Not after what he did.
My dad looks at his best friend since childhood. "Is that true, Jamie?”
Finn interrupts. "As much as I respect you both, this is not the time for this. We need to focus on this case, and I need Trayland's input. So, can we focus and deal with this later?"
Both my dad and Mr. Trayland agree, and Finn opens up a folder in front of me. It's filled to the brim with pictures, phone records, screenshots of text messages, but the one that grabs my attention the most is the one he tries to avoid letting me see.
Auburn hair is splayed out on the concrete, stained red with blood. The sun-kissed skin that was always covered in the finest silk. And the brown eyes that used to call you in like a seductress now void of the life they once held.
"Jace, you're being charged with Second Degree Murder. Do you understand that?"
I nod, but don't say anything.
"Now I've looked over this case, and the evidence they have is pretty damning, but I need to hear your side of it. Even your statement to police from that night is marked as uncooperative."
I know it is. I remember that night well. They shoved me in an interrogation room and went at me for hours, trying to pull the events of what happened on that roof out of me, but I never said a word.
I couldn't.
Finn reaches forward and puts his hand on mine, forcing me to look at him. "I'm asking you this as your lawyer, as your friend, and as the person with your best interest. Okay?" I nod once. "Did you kill Davianna Sorrentino?"
That's the winning question, isn't it? Did I kill her?
The question alone is one I never thought I would be faced with. After all, I was the kid who had the world in the palm of his hands. Or at least that's what I thought.
Finn, my dad, and Mr. Trayland all stare at me, waiting for my answer. I take a breath and let the tension drain from my body the same way Dr. Litman showed me at our last appointment, and then I answer.
"No."
In unison, all three of them sigh. Finn looks pleased, which I'm guessing is because he didn't want to have to defend a guilty man, but he would have if he needed
to. He's not only our lawyer, but a close family friend who would do whatever he has to in order to help us.
"Okay." He nods. "Then what I suggest we do is fight extradition. It's a long shot, but I think your chances at getting out on bail are a lot higher in California than they are in Florida. Especially since I don't know what kind of connections Mr. Sorrentino has over there, but from what I've seen, he's rather powerful."
Of course, he is. Davi's confidence didn't come out of nowhere. She was the equivalent of an Italian princess, and she knew it. If only she chose other people to associate herself with. If only she had stayed far away from me. Maybe then she would still be here.
WE GO THROUGH ALL the paperwork, and Finn explains to me how things will go from here. He tells us he will submit the paperwork today for an extradition hearing, and that we should hear back tonight or tomorrow, but that he will definitely put a rush on it. Before I leave, I thank Finn and give my dad a hug, but no part of me is going anywhere near Mr. Trayland. He and his traitor son can stay the hell away from me.
The betrayal of what he did burns inside of my chest with no way out. It simmers under the surface, and every time I think about how long he must have known this was coming, it worsens. My best friend for as long as I can remember, and he didn't have my back when I needed it the most.
Then again, it's not like it matters much. No matter how much Finn tried to look hopeful today, I could see the truth in his eyes. Their evidence is stronger than we were prepared for. My fate is all but sealed. The final nails are just waiting to be hammered into the coffin.
The only question is whether I'll get life in prison or be sentenced to death at only twenty years old.
I'M LEANING AGAINST THE wall, trying to stay out of everyone's way, when a familiar face comes up to me with a few of his friends. I know I've seen him before, but I can't seem to put my finger on where.
"Hey man," he greets me. "Don't I know you?"
"Probably not."
He looks me up and down. "Nah, I'm pretty sure I do." Then he snaps. "You're Carter's boy, aren't you?"
My brows furrow until my gaze lands on a snake tattoo wrapped around his arm. Blade. I haven't had any personal experiences with him, but I've heard enough from both Rinaldo and Carter. He was one of Rinaldo's dealers and spent months torturing Zayn, until he fully snapped and tried to kill Amelia. Carter's dad is the one who finally succeeded in getting him locked up for the next twenty years.
"No, man. Sorry." I go to walk past him, but before I can get anywhere, he grabs the back of my neck in a vice grip.
He moves his mouth to my ear. "Nice try, London. Tell your friends I have a message for them."
The first blow to my stomach is the worst, because it's the most unexpected. It knocks the wind out of me, and as Blade shoves his elbow into my back, I crumble onto the ground.
One blow comes after another. The metallic taste of blood fills my mouth, and I can feel as one particularly hard kick causes one of my ribs to snap. Everyone around is watching, but no one makes any attempt to stop them, even as sirens go off and guards start rushing in.
And when the pain becomes too much, I welcome the darkness that saves me—the same way I found peace in it before.
The living room at the London's home is filled with people all worried about Jace. After his arrest last night, I haven't been able to focus on anything else. Becca keeps telling me that I need to sleep, or at least try to eat something, but I can't. There is a heavy weight sitting in my stomach, making me feel like I could be sick at any moment.
No matter what I've tried, I can't manage to get myself to stop crying. Being in this house feels strange without him. He didn't do anything wrong. He should be here. But instead, he’s in the last place I ever expected him to be—locked behind bars.
"We need to come up with a game plan for if he gets extradited anyway," Mr. London says. "Jace doesn't have a support system in Florida."
Brax stands up. "I volunteer as tribute."
Mr. London rolls his eyes, not finding the humor in his comedy right now. "Of course you do, but you're still in high school."
"High school, schmigh school. My brother needs me."
His dad levels him with a look and he pinches his lips closed. Meanwhile, Mrs. London is sitting next to me as we comfort each other, with Becca there to grab me if needed. Jace's mom has been just as upset as I have, and that's to be expected.
"I just don't understand why he was arrested," she cries. "He's a good kid."
Mr. Trayland sighs. "I used a few work connections to get a look at the warrant. They've managed to compile quite a bit of evidence against him, including a video recording from the roof."
"Recording?" Carter asks his dad. "Of what?"
He shrugs. "I wasn't privy to any of the video evidence, but a friend over at Tallahassee PD said it looks like Jace pushed Davianna off the roof."
"No." I wrap my arms around myself. "No. There's no way."
Becca tries to hold me, but I shrug her off. It's not the comfort I want. I love her, but she doesn't hold me the way he does. She doesn't kiss my forehead just because she knows I like it. She doesn't know that once I'm sleeping, you need to let go because otherwise I get too hot. She's my absolute best friend, but she's not Jace, and I just want Jace.
Mr. London looks over at Mr. Trayland. "I just still can't believe you knew and didn't tell me."
"I couldn't," he argues.
Throwing his head back, Mr. London lets out a sarcastic laugh. "Couldn't. You couldn't come over and say just let me know that Tallahassee PD was building a murder case about my son. We only see each other every other damn day, but you're right. You couldn't."
Mr. Trayland doesn't back down. "If I had told you, you would have put that boy on a flight out of the country within the hour."
"You're damn right I would have," he shouts back.
"And then what? He lives his life on the run?" Mr. Trayland counters. "He has to stay living in another country so that he can avoid the trial for something he claims he didn't even do? He may be your son, but he's just as much my family as he is yours, and that's no kind of life for him."
His words seem to soften Mr. London, but before he can answer, his phone rings. He takes a deep breath before answering the call and bringing it to his ear.
The anticipation of our next steps is weighing so heavily on me that it feels like I can't breathe. It's as if I'm trapped in some horror story, and no matter how many times I try to go back to how things were, I can't. I'm stuck here to deal with this. This is my life now.
Another phone starts to ring, and Mr. Trayland steps into the other room to answer it, but my attention is fully focused on Jace's dad.
"That's great news, Finn," he tells the man on the other side of the line. "I'll see you tomorrow. And thank you. I really owe you one when this is all over."
Hanging up the phone, he tosses it onto the ottoman in front of his seat and sighs. "That was the lawyer. He was able to get Jace an extradition hearing for tomorrow morning."
"And what happens then?" I ask.
"Well, he will go before a judge, and Finn will argue why he should be released on bail and allowed to stay in California until the trial," he explains. "If granted, he should be home by tomorrow afternoon."
"And if it's not?" It's the question everyone is thinking, but Brax is the only one to voice it.
Mr. London looks down. "Then he will be transferred to Florida State Correctional until his next bail hearing."
Jace's mom breaks out into sobs. "You mean my baby could be stuck in prison until the trial?"
"Let's just keep our heads up, okay?" he tells his wife. "We have to think positively."
"I'm not sure how easy that's going to be," Mr. Trayland says, stepping back into the room. "That was just a buddy of mine over at the jail. Jace is in the infirmary with a number of injuries. He said he was jumped tonight by a few guys."
That's all I can handle hearing before the feeling like
I'm going to suffocate is too much to bear. I mutter a quiet “excuse me” and jump up from the couch, leaving the room and the house as fast as possible. The fresh, cold air hits me as soon as I get outside, but it does nothing to help.
Tears stream down my face as the front door opens and closes, but I already know who it is. No one else is stupid enough to follow me out here right now.
"You fucking knew," I sneer.
"I knew," Carter confirms.
Spinning around on my heels, I keep my bloodshot eyes locked with this. "Then why? Why would you fight so damn hard to get me back in his life?"
"Paige."
"No!" I shout. "Tell me why, Carter. Do you just get some kind of twisted pleasure out of seeing people get hurt?"
He runs his fingers through his hair. "Of course not."
"Then why?" I go closer and shove him backward with both hands. "You knew I was going to fall for him all over again. You knew we would get close. And you knew he was going to get taken away from me." Balling up my fists, I punch him in the chest with every word. "Why would you do that?"
He grips my wrists tightly to stop my assault and gets in my face. "I had to! Okay? If I hadn't, he would have killed himself in prison."
I shake my head and pull myself out of his grasp. "You don't know that."
"Please, Paige. Don't be naive." He goes over to sit on the step. "Before you came back into his life, he was all but dead. We're all meant to be afraid of the monsters. To run from the demons that want to pull you underwater and drown you in misery. But Jace embraced them."
Keeping completely quiet, I go take a seat next to Carter and listen.
"I can't tell you how many times I thought I was going to come home to find him dead in our dorm room," he admits. "He just had no will to live, and I knew that if I didn't find him something worth living for, that this would be it. The last straw."
"You could have given me the heads up," I whisper.
He looks over at me with a sad smile. "No, I couldn't. You would have stayed too guarded. You wouldn't have let him in as openly as you did. And I was afraid it wouldn't work if you both weren't all in."
Change My Game: An Emotional Second Chance Romance (North Haven University Book 2) Page 17