Lucas murmured in her ear, “I think by this time Christopher is happy with the idea of coming to school here.”
“Where Patches goes, Kit will go,” she agreed.
A deep gong sounded three times. Benjamin looked at Lady Agnes. “It’s dinnertime. Should I take Kit along to eat and meet the other Hawks?”
Kendra said, “Kit, are you happy with the idea of becoming a student here?”
“Oh, yes, Mama!” He reluctantly stepped away from his pony and walked out of the box, carefully latching it behind him. “Can I go riding tomorrow?”
“That’s up to your teachers,” Kendra said.
Lady Agnes said, “I think that can be arranged. I’ll have your belongings sent up to your room. Now, you go along with Benjamin to your dinner and meet some of your fellow students.”
Christopher dived for Kendra and wrapped his arms around her for a moment. “Will you visit me, Mama?”
“Yes, but I’ll have to talk to Lady Agnes about when. She may prefer that parents not visit for a while.”
The headmistress nodded. “That’s true, Christopher. You need to settle into the school first. But the term ends soon and I’m sure your mother will write.”
Christopher’s gaze shifted to Lucas. “Will you write, too?”
Lucas smiled. “Unless your mother disapproves, yes.”
Kendra smoothed a hand over her son’s shining hair. “Of course Lord Foxton can write, and you should write him back.”
“I will.” Christopher stepped away from her, his lip quivering. “Is this good-bye?”
Lady Agnes said, “I’m going to invite your mother and Lord Foxton to dine with me and spend the night, so you can say your good-byes in the morning if that’s agreeable to you all.”
Kendra glanced at Lucas, who nodded. “We’d love to. We can say our farewells after we’ve all breakfasted.”
Christopher gave her a big smile. “I’ll see you in the morning then!” He turned to Benjamin Thomas. “Where is the dining room?”
“On the ground floor of the residence hall. Come along now, Kit.” He flashed a mischievous glance at Lady Agnes. “The food is really pretty decent.”
“Considering the amount you young barbarians eat, it’s hard to get enough food on the table to feed you all,” she said fondly. “Now off with you, lads.”
The two boys headed off at a brisk pace while the adults followed more slowly. Kendra found her own mouth trembling. Lucas took her hand quietly. “I know it’s hard to watch him go, but children must learn to use their wings so they can fly.”
“And then they fly away,” Kendra said with a sigh.
“Yes, but that one will return to you regularly,” Lady Agnes predicted. “You’ve given him the love and confidence he needs to test those wings.”
Kendra prayed that the headmistress was correct. “Do you always spend so much time introducing new students to the school?”
“It varies,” Lady Agnes said. “Because Christopher is young and has gone through a difficult time with his father and his former school, I thought he needed the extra attention. Bringing his pony here was very wise.”
“I’m glad Patches arrived so quickly,” Kendra said. “Credit goes to Lord Foxton for knowing someone who could make it happen.”
“Making things happen is a gift you share with Lord Kirkland,” Lady Agnes said to Lucas. “He’s always looking for talented men and sometimes women to solve problems if you’re looking for work.”
Lucas smiled but shook his head. “I prefer to set bones.”
“In that case, you can work for me!” Lady Agnes said with a laugh. “I’m sure you can imagine the number of things a school full of adventurous young fools can break.”
“Indeed I can!” Lucas said feelingly. “If you have a boy with a problem that is difficult to fix, let me know. I’d be happy to come down to see what I can do.”
“I might take you up on that,” Lady Agnes said.
The three of them continued to chat amiably as they crossed back to the private wing of the school. Kendra felt light enough to fly. Her children were safe. Now she could concentrate on fixing her own life.
CHAPTER 26
Dinner with Lady Agnes proved very enjoyable. Besides Lucas and Kendra, the company included Miss Emily Cantwell, who seemed to be universally known as Miss Emily, and retired Army General Rawlings. The two were Lady Agnes’s partners in running the school. The general was in charge of sports and other manly pursuits and provided a male confidant for the boys when that was needed. Miss Emily handled most of the office and financial work, as well as giving warm hugs.
Lucas suspected that what made the three of them a good team was that they all genuinely liked their students, and they liked guiding those boys who needed extra help in learning how to find their place in society. They were also very enjoyable dinner companions.
The meal was winding up when Lady Agnes said to Kendra, “I think by morning you’ll find that your son is settling in well.”
“I’m sure you’re right. Having Patches again has won his heart.” Kendra made a face. “We took his limited possessions over to his room when the boys were dining, but because of the circumstances, he has almost nothing. Is there a nearby tailor that does uniforms and other boys’ clothing?”
“Yes, there’s a very competent fellow in the nearest village who spends most of his time making clothing for my students, including the school uniform. He’s good with sturdy garments that are not easily destroyed by rough and tumble boys. There’s also a very good shoemaker who does a fine job with shoes and boots of all sorts.”
“Just what Christopher needs! Can you see that he’s properly equipped and add the costs to his school fees?”
Miss Emily smiled. “We shall. It’s a common arrangement here. They grow so quickly!”
Giving in to his curiosity, Lucas asked, “Is that really a zebra on your school uniform badge? It looked like one, but I wasn’t close enough to be sure.”
Lady Agnes laughed. “It is indeed a zebra. Partly because I’ve traveled widely and seen zebras and lions and elephants in the wild and the boys love hearing about such things. But also because so many of my students feel as if they’re zebras in a herd of horses. The odd ones out who will never belong.”
“Our job is to teach them to canter seamlessly along with the horses while not losing their stripes,” Miss Emily explained.
Lucas lifted his wineglass in a salute. “It’s a perfect metaphor.”
Kendra raised her glass also. “Would that all schools were so wise!” She looked wistful at the knowledge that her son would be cantering out of her sight, but she didn’t say that. Instead, she smothered a yawn. “Please excuse my rudeness, but it’s been a long day. I’m ready to retire.”
“By all means.” Lady Agnes rose. “I’ll leave the gentlemen to their port and see you at breakfast. Christopher will be brought over here for his skill testing, and you can say good-bye properly then.”
Kendra nodded and withdrew, as did Lady Agnes and Miss Emily. When the women were gone, General Rawlings cocked an eye at Lucas. “Do you like port, or would you prefer brandy?”
Lucas grinned. “Brandy, please.”
He enjoyed talking with the general, who had thoughtful and far-reaching views. If he knew of Lucas’s disgrace, and he probably did, he didn’t mention it. As a man of wide experience, he apparently recognized the many shades of gray in life.
They each enjoyed a leisurely glass of brandy before Lucas excused himself for the night. The worldly and tolerant Lady Agnes hadn’t asked about the relationship between Lucas and Kendra, but she’d assigned them adjacent guest rooms so they could sort it out as they wished.
When he reached his room, Lucas stripped off his coat and cravat and tossed them over a chair, trying not to think that Kendra was a mere wall away, presumably sleeping the sleep of the relieved. All soft womanly warmth . . . and memories of a night they both agreed shouldn’t have happened.
* * *
Though Kendra was tired when she reached her room, she was too restless to go to bed right away. After changing from her black day wear, she donned her nightgown and robe and slippers, which were a soft ivory. She hoped the day would come when she would feel that she didn’t need to wear black as a statement of injustice.
Then she settled at the desk and made a list of things Christopher might need. She suspected that the academy wasn’t the sort of place where flaunting wealth was approved of, but she could buy new copies of some of her son’s favorite books, like Robinson Crusoe. A Bible, of course. Perhaps a small bedside rug so his feet wouldn’t land on a cold floor first thing in the morning.
When she finished her list, she had a modest selection of items that might be useful to a new boy at this particular school. She’d show it to Kit and Lady Agnes in the morning to see what they thought.
Then she stretched and took the pins from her hair so she could brush it out. She’d always found the ritual relaxing both physically and mentally.
She’d worked out all the tangles and was almost done when the full emotional force of what had happened this day really struck her: Christopher was safe! In the months since Denshire had thrown her out of his house and told her she’d never see her son again, her greatest fears and despair had concerned Christopher. Not knowing where he was had driven her half mad. She had also feared that Denshire would turn her son against her.
But now she had the result she’d wanted above all things. A few weeks before, finding Christopher had seemed impossible. Instead, her brave boy had traveled half the length of England to reach her, and now he was in a safe, supportive school where he could learn and make friends for life.
And on top of that, she had discovered her beautiful young daughter. Though she regretted not raising Caitlin herself, her girl had been loved and cherished, and in the future Kendra would be part of her life.
Joy bubbled through Kendra, so intense and wonderful that it must be shared. And who better to share it with than the man who had been with her every step of the way? Lucas and his friends had made this all possible, and she wanted him to know how much she appreciated that.
She also wanted him.
Not bothering to tie back her hair, she silently stepped into the corridor. Light showed around Lucas’s door, so she tapped on it, hoping he was still awake.
Before she could have second thoughts, the door opened and there was Lucas, his powerful frame silhouetted against the lamp light and his hair glowing gold. He’d removed his coat and cravat and boots, and he’d unfastened the buttons at the throat of the shirt. There was intimacy in his dishabille and from the flare in his eyes, her nightwear had a similar impact on him even though every inch of her body was covered.
A little uncertainly, she said, “Since you’re still awake, may I come in? As I was brushing out my hair, it really sank in that the worst of my problems are over. I feel like Atlas after the weight of the world was removed from his shoulders. Christopher is no longer lost but here in a safe place! A few weeks ago, this was a result almost beyond hoping for, and so much of this I owe to you. I feel like dancing for joy!”
For a moment she feared that Lucas would smile, offer congratulations on a job well done, then politely send her back to her own room. Instead, expression a little rueful, he stepped back so she could come inside. “Alas, we have no musicians, but you do have much to celebrate.”
“Everything has become so much better since we met, Lucas.” She cocked her head to one side as a thought struck her. “I just realized how much of our early relationship revolved around dancing.”
He considered. “You’re right. That year when you were presented to society to find a husband and I was in London to gather a bit of polish before going off to sea. We met what, perhaps a half dozen times?”
“Yes, and danced each time. Not all formal balls, several were more informal romps for young people. But I was always glad to see you, and glad when you asked for a dance.”
He smiled reminiscently. “I was always glad to get one. As a beautiful young heiress, you were much in demand.”
She made a face. “Too often that was because of being an heiress. One of the things I liked about you was that you seemed to have no interest in any inheritance I might have.”
“There were other reasons?” he asked with interest.
She laughed. “Oh, yes! You were so handsome and dashing and enjoyable to talk with. There was no waltzing then, though. It was considered such a scandalous dance. Let’s waltz now!” She held up her arms and began humming waltz music.
Unable to resist her bubbling spirits, he took her in his arms and spun her across the room, which was large enough to take a couple of turns as long as he kept an eye out for furniture.
“We were so young and life seemed to be overflowing with possibilities, didn’t it?” he said nostalgically. “You were a favorite partner when we were at the same event, but there were other young ladies I liked. In the months before I joined my ship, I created a mental gallery of partners I particularly enjoyed. I’d contemplate their images in the middle of North Sea gales.”
She laughed, easily imagining that and not insulted by the notion that there were other young ladies he’d thought about. “I was looking for a husband and you weren’t on the list because you were about to leave for the navy. But you danced well then, as you do now.” She tilted her head back, her hair sliding over her shoulders as she resumed humming. “And dancing at a ball brought us together again.”
“My dancing was rather rusty when we met at the Clantons’ ball,” he reminded her.
She shivered as she remembered that night, her exuberance briefly shadowed. “I don’t remember rusty dancing, only that you rescued me when everyone else was drawing back as if I were a plague carrier.”
“I’ve wondered. What did you hope to accomplish by storming into the center of that ballroom?” he asked curiously.
She sighed, scarcely able to remember why she’d done such a mad thing. “I suppose I was looking for a friendly face. Someone who might speak for me. Or even to me. It wasn’t until I was shaking and alone in the middle of the room that I realized how foolish I was.”
“Not foolish,” he said seriously as he steered them clear of the desk. “Perhaps your instincts were pushing you to break out of your fog of despair.”
“Pushing me toward you, perhaps.” She realized their dancing was becoming slower, more sensual. “When we first met all those years ago, I never dreamed how important you would become to me.”
“Nor did I imagine this, either,” he said, his gaze intent.
She loved dancing with him, being in his arms with that strong, masculine body so close to hers. She became very aware of how light and loose her night garments were. They were designed for sleep and perhaps seduction, not protection, and she wanted nothing more than to dance them both to the bed.
He would surely have his doubts about the wisdom of lying together again, but she didn’t think he could resist their mutual attraction any more than she could. She had spent so many celibate years with her desire tamped down so far it seemed dead. So had he, from what he’d said. Now that they’d let desire blaze free once, how could they not join together again when they had the opportunity?
She murmured, “This could be another night that takes place out of sight and sound of the world. Where becoming lovers doesn’t count because no one will know.”
“We will, and that is more dangerous than if the world does,” he said softly. “But how can I say no when you are in my arms and the most alluring woman in the world?”
“Then don’t say no.” She ended their dance by moving forward to press her full length against him. She wanted his weight on her, crushing her into the mattress as their bodies moved together in the fiercest and most primal dance of all.
She felt a shudder run through him and he released her hands so he could caress the rest of her body. His palms sliding down her back until he could grip h
er derriere. His mouth closing over hers, equally giving and demanding, igniting the latent fire between them into a bonfire.
As his kneading hands brought her yearning flesh to sizzling life, she concentrated on his clothing. He was wearing too much. Pull his shirt from his trousers, caress the heated bare skin of his lower back. Move a hand between them so she could unfasten the fall of his trousers and find the passionate response behind it. Oh, yes . . .!
He gasped, his eyes darkening. “It will be . . . more efficient if you give me a moment to remove my clothing.”
“More efficient, perhaps,” she said with mock innocence, “but less fun.”
He laughed, his eyes warm. “You’re a mischievous wench with wickedly roving hands.” He moved a step back so she could more easily pull his linen shirt off over his head, then plant butterfly kisses on his bare throat. His trousers were already loosened, so she eased them and his drawers off, caressing his warm skin hungrily.
Then she surveyed her handiwork with satisfaction, loving the sight of his strength and male beauty. They were made for each other, she knew it in every fiber of her being.
While she admired his nakedness, he untied her robe and undid the buttons of her nightdress. Then he drew her garments over her head with one swift movement, leaving her bare except for her slippers.
She was suddenly shy of him seeing her fully naked. She was no flawless young maiden. She’d borne two children and carried scars from her marriage.
But his eyes showed only desire. “You are so intoxicatingly womanly,” he said in a low, raw voice. “Made to be worshipped in every way a man can show devotion.”
His words gave her a visceral understanding of the wedding service: With my body I thee worship. Before tonight, they’d been only words, but now they resonated through her. They weren’t married; perhaps they never would be. But even without vows, they could come together as lovers, and she wanted that most desperately.
She took his right hand and held it over her heart. “Let us worship each other together on this night out of time.”
His warm hand clasping hers, he bent into a deep, passionate kiss as their bare bodies pressed together. Their arms encircled each other and she found her hips rolling against him, wanting what was so close and needing to be closer yet.
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