by Beth Shriver
They walked to the grasslands behind Tirzah’s home as they had so many times before, with Enan’s sister trailing behind to chaperone. There, they spoke of the events of the day. On their way back, Enan became quiet.
Tirzah waited a long while, but finally had to ask. “What is wrong?”
He remained silent until she squeezed his hand. He gave her a wry grin. “Before I left, I wanted to marry you.” Tirzah whipped her head around to face him, alarmed at his reference to past tense. “But now with my duty to Stephen, I don’t know if that would be fair to you.”
Tirzah’s heart fluttered like the wings of a bird at his words. She began to wonder if his reason was only that he had been called to a rank of great responsibility or whether his feelings had changed for her. “Is that really the reason you question our plans?”
He stopped, and she kept her eyes on the pebbled dirt leading up to the stables. He laid a hand on her arm and waited until she looked up at him.
“Of course. What other reason could there be?”
She could not keep his gaze, ashamed. He twisted and bent to bring his face in front of hers, and she brought her eyes to his again.
“What were you thinking? That my feelings have changed for you?”
Tears welled as she looked into his deep brown eyes and thought of the times she had sought comfort in the gray turbulent eyes of Nethan. She turned away again, but he would not let her, moving to remain before her.
“I’m so sorry if I hurt you, Enan.” She lifted her hands to cover his forearms. “I was scared for you, and with all the death surrounding us each day and you being gone so much longer than the others, I thought the worst. I’m sorry.”
His eyes remained on hers as though searching her soul. Time seemed to stand still as he studied her quietly. “I know you were tempted by Nethan.”
She looked down, ashamed. “Oh, Enan, I was so wrong to go to him. I thought of him as he used to be, but what I missed was the twist in Nethan’s heart.”
He touched her hand. “You didn’t go to him. He came to you. He used your vulnerability against you and put thoughts into your head. Tirzah, I know you would never betray me.” A look of sadness crossed his face.
Concerned, she squeezed his hands again. “What are you thinking about?” Puzzled by his sadness, she wondered if he was feeling more pain over her actions than he’d first thought and was reconsidering. Her heart pounded waiting for his response.
“I have a confession of my own. It might help your guilt; it may make you angry. I don’t know, but I want us to always be honest with one another.”
She shuddered at the thoughts going through her mind as they moved to a long wooden bench inside the stables. “In Samech, the family that cared for Stephen and I were a father and daughter.” He sat with his back against the stone wall and did not look at her. “The father worked the mines, and the daughter stayed with us most of the day to tend to us. She fed us, clothed us, and tended our wounds. She knew much of medicines and spent more time than needed seeing that we healed.”
Could he have done the same as she had, with another woman? He had told her of the place he and Stephen had stayed while they healed and the family that had been so kind to care for them. Now her mind reeled with thoughts of a beautiful woman nursing him, bathing him, applying salve and other treatments to his broken body. She startled at the touch of his hand on hers.
“Was she in love with you, Enan?” Her heart sank when she saw the perplexed look on his face.
Then his face straightened. “No.”
She heaved a sigh of relief as she remembered her own thoughts with Nethan. She had let down the most important person in her life and was now paying for it with his own confession. He’d had the same opportunity but had been strong enough not to give in those feelings of hopelessness.
Enan continued. “But she felt something for me and I wondered if I, in any way, did anything to cause her to.”
“You are stronger than I, Enan. You always do what is right. I have seen growth in your faith as well. To have opened the minds of those young men in Samech was dangerous, yet you came to the call.”
She was finally brave enough to look into his eyes, even though she felt unworthy of him. “That is what will make you a great commander.”
“And husband, if you will still have me.” His smile tipped to one side. It faded as quickly as it came when her eyes dropped with sadness.
“Then why did you say earlier that maybe we should put off the marriage?” She tried to fight away the tears.
“I don’t know if it is fair for you to have a husband who puts his life on the line daily and will be away so much, as I will be now.” He put a hand to her cheek, causing Anna to clear her throat. Enan removed his hand, but more slowly than he might have, stroking Tirzah’s soft skin as he did.
“When you were gone, I wished with all my heart we were legally bound before you left. I would have been the one told if you had died or were taken prisoner. And if the worst had happened, I would have burial rights.” She stopped to reconsider the last of her thoughts. “And maybe I wouldn’t have accepted comfort from Nethan.” The tears fell then.
“Beloved, you are forgiven. With all my heart, I forgive you. A kiss and a few words have not destroyed us.” He wiped the tears from her cheeks. “Believe me, I now know Nethan’s ways, and if not for his deceit, you would not be going through what you are now.”
Tirzah smiled weakly. She watched Enan’s expression change and became curious. “What is it?”
“I heard about what you did when the soldiers came to your home.”
She nodded and collected her thoughts. “I don’t quite know how to feel. What happened that day will forever be etched into my memory.”
Tirzah dropped her head, thinking the rest through in her mind. As many times as she tried to justify it, she knew she never would.
Enan was watching her intently. “You did what you had to. Know that and let it go.”
Tirzah felt relief and exhaustion wash over her. Enan seemed to understand everything, and she realized right at that moment that all was forgotten, and things were good again between them. As she thought on it, she knew before she asked him that he had forgiven her. Just like their Heavenly Father.
****
Enan felt at peace with Tirzah. He’d never felt their relationship was in any danger. He understood they had spent time together, even alone at times, but he knew of Nethan’s tricks and Tirzah’s vulnerability. Enan had been gone for weeks, and all others had come back long before him. Putting himself in Tirzah’s position, he would have thought her gone had their situations been reversed. And there were moments when he was with Vita that he’d thought he may never heal or return, and he’d been tempted to take comfort in her.
The difference was that Vita did not manipulate him and respected him. Unlike Nethan, who seemed even more determined to pursue Tirzah when she tried to resist. Why now, after all these years? Enan knew Nethan never had feelings for her before. Every man thought her beautiful, but none ever dared pursue Tirzah, once they were together.
The more he thought about it, the more he felt he knew Nethan’s motivation. Enan knew Nethan had wanted to go to battle instead of guard. He had become more and more bitter and distant each time Enan returned home.
Although Nethan never spoke of it, Enan knew he was disappointed. Any man with Nethan’s abilities would be. But Levi had seen in him something others had not—the lack of camaraderie and solidarity a soldier needs to unify him with his fellows, especially in battle. Now Nethan’s battle was within himself, and against Enan. He could see Nethan’s envious heart.
Enan motioned for Anna to start back to the house and scooped Tirzah into his arms with utmost care to carry her inside. Anna flung the door open ahead of them, startling Martha. Enan ignored her frown of disapproval and quickly laid Tirzah down. Andrew entered the room and nodded for Enan to leave. Tirzah stirred, gave a sleepy smile when she saw Enan’s face,
and drifted off again.
Enan followed Martha to the Kitchen and waited for Andrew.
“We would like to talk with you, Enan. We are glad you are back.” Andrew’s smile told Enan this would be a much more pleasant conversation than the last.
Chapter Thirty-Four
A familiar sound roused Enan from his sleep, one he had heard in battle. The beating of drums, a dull boom, boom, boom, rumbled through his head, waking him to full consciousness. He jumped up, sitting at the edge of his pallet, sweat beading on his forehead.
He glanced at the door and realized someone was hitting or kicking it. Enan stepped quickly toward the door as he refocused. As he opened it, Nethan’s foot shot up and overbalanced him so that he fell to the dirt floor. He cursed and pulled himself to his knees. He wobbled but soon regained his balance and stood in front of Enan. Enan caught a stale whiff of ale and stepped back. Nethan tried to grab his arm to steady himself and missed.
“What are you doing here?”
Nethan took off his sweat-soaked tunic, revealing his well-defined chest and arms, and pulled his sword from its sheath. “You mock me?” Nethan growled.
“You are drunk.” Enan had vowed he would kill the man if he ever approached him again, but how could he in Nethan’s present state? He could hit him with a single blow, and he’d fall like a tree to the dirt floor.
“With a sword, I can fight.” Nethan’s eyes were as black as his tousled hair. His wrinkled, soiled, and torn tunic lay in a heap on the floor.
“It seems as though you had a rough night, Nethan.” Enan gave Nethan a cocky grin to taunt him and looked him over. He did not want to fight him but could not keep the fire from growing as he stood face to face with the man who had put Tirzah to a test that she could only fail and let a friendship fail that Enan had grown to depend on and missed greatly.
“No, Enan, it is not just tonight, every night. I sit in my tent alone and drink myself into a stupor while you go off to fight. And when you are home, you are with Tirzah. A most gracious and affectionate woman, I might add.” Nethan sneered at Enan and grinned.
Enan held fast with only a twitch in his jaw. “Affection earned only on the rebound of your lies.” Enan’s muscles tensed with self-containment. He could take all the insults of himself, but not those of Tirzah.
Nethan snorted. “You will never know if there is truth in that, will you, Enan?”
Enan put his hands to his sides, causing Nethan to widen his stance. Enan’s hands balled into fists as he felt detestation for this man that he’d never thought possible. He hated having this feeling for someone who had once been so close to him.
“There are other women you could have sought comfort with, Nethan.”
Nethan stood straight and arched an eyebrow. “Why would I choose any other woman? No other would have brought out anger in you.”
Enan’s brows gathered in question. “You mean because of this ridiculous envy you have? It is utter nonsense.”
Nethan let out a breath. “Not to me, it isn’t. It is very real.”
Enan let out a forced laugh. “You created it in your own mind, Nethan. There is no merit to it.”
“Easy for you to say when you are the hero and lover, great son, and friend. All adore you, even Stephen.” Nethan let his sword drop, and its tip hit the ground. He stared at Enan as if he despised him, and Enan’s heart was torn.
Nethan’s lips curled into a grin. “Did you lead the charge, friend?” He lifted his sword and laid it flat on his shoulder. Enan’s stomach churned with his question. He did not want to know how cruel Nethan had become. Nethan continued without an answer. “I asked Levi to have you lead that charge. It is the one honor you did not earn.” He forced a laugh.
Shock flowed through Enan as the realization of how far Nethan’s manipulations had gone. His first reaction was to deny Nethan would stoop to such a level, but looking into his eyes, Enan knew this man was not the childhood friend he had known and loved. This man was a shell of the young man Enan once knew, possessed by envy.
Anger pulsed in his veins as he rushed Nethan, using his bulk to ram him to the ground. Frustrated to be caught off guard, Nethan pushed Enan away from him and jumped to his feet.
“Take your sword!” Nethan pointed with his own sword to Enan’s, still sheathed and lying next to his gear by his pallet.
“So you were disappointed with my return.”
Nethan’s catlike grin remained. “Yes, something like that.”
Burning at Nethan’s audacity, Enan ignored his request for the sword and went for him again. This time, Nethan brought his fist up knocking Enan back.
Enan shook if off as Nethan moved toward him with sword in hand. “I gave you your chance. Now you can fight unarmed against my sword.”
Enan rolled and grabbed his sword, pulling it from its sheath. He blocked two blows, before he could gain his feet. Enan knew Nethan would try to sweep him off his feet, so he stayed low. He shifted his weight as he got a feel for his sword. He had learned in battle to watch a man’s eyes, not his hands. The depth of Nethan’s gray eyes vexed him as he prepared himself for what he had to do. He had no choice.
Enan dodged a swing. Nethan was more proficient with the sword, but the drink in Nethan hampered his agility. He would have to use that to his advantage.
Nethan struck first, drawing blood from Enan’s grazed shoulder. He jeered Enan with a sardonic smile. Nethan’s enjoyment angered Enan even more, and he lunged quickly, driving his sword into Nethan’s abdomen. Nethan doubled over and dropped to his knees.
Enan removed the sword, letting the blood flow. His first thought was to get medical help, but he did not want to leave Nethan to die alone. He yelled out once for help, and then went down on his knees, holding Nethan’s head as the life poured out of him.
“I am here, friend.”
Nethan’s glazed eyes stared above him as he spoke, giving the feel of a dead man speaking. “You still call me friend?” he wheezed. He tilted his head down with a grunt, trying to focus on Enan. “You are either ignorant or weak, maybe both.” Nethan tried to laugh but only coughed up blood. “God help me.”
Enan cringed at Nethan’s lack of remorse, even while dying.
“Nethan…Nethan!” Enan shook him as Nethan’s eyes stared upward, his body limp. Enan wept as anger and sorrow grew within him. Nethan had become so calculating, so spiteful. Where had this come from? Why did it have to end like this?
Epilogue
Stands of ripening barley stood next to already-harvested flax fields in the fertile valley, creating a perfect background for the ceremony. Pillars of rippled stone lined each row of seats adorned with flowers and silk ribbons. Large bouquets of flowers flowed from clay vases, so thick they created a wall behind the altar. Candelabras stood on either side of the bride and groom as they stood before the rabbi.
The festivities that followed the ceremony were a special pleasure for the village after such hard times had befallen them. The sound of the lute and lyre carried throughout the field where they had shared so many years celebrating the fall festival. They still had much work to do and battles to win until there was peace again amongst them, but for today, all that was forgotten with the union of two souls.
The rabbi stood back and watched Enan and Tirzah exchange wafers. Enan raised their hands together to signify the union as the people clapped their approval. They walked over to a table filled with delicious foods. Enan’s mouth watered as he began to pick through the wedges of egg and sliced cheese.
The musicians began to play, and the guests danced. Enan grabbed Tirzah’s hand and stole her away from her friends.
Her look of surprise pleased him as he ran quickly, causing her to stumble on her long gown. “I am going to fall!” She threw her head back in laughter, her dark hair flowing over her shoulders and large eyes sparkling as she gazed at Enan.
He swept her up and carried her to the ridge where he had first returned from training and found Tirzah wit
h Nethan. He placed her down in the lush green and sat next to her, holding her close. She laid her head on his shoulder and inhaled in the crisp clean air.
They were silent for a moment, taking in the events of the past few days. Enan breathed in the scent of her and felt complete. He pulled away and noticed the tenderness in her eyes as he ran his fingers through her hair, the perfume of desert rose drifting from the long strands.
The love between them burned as he pressed her close to him with his heart overflowing, and he felt all was right in the world.
A word about the author…
Beth is a three-time Best Selling Author, an Amazon Top 100 Author of over twenty-five books, and an ECPA Bestseller.
She wrote her first novel in 2002 and a year later it was published. She was a social worker before starting a family, grew up in Nebraska, spent fifteen years in Colorado, and now lives in Texas. She freelances for the local papers in her area, writes columns, devotionals, and novels in a variety of genres in both fiction and nonfiction.
Beth followed her passion and now spends her time writing with the company of her two cats and a beagle. When not spending time with her family or friends, she helps feed the homeless in South Dallas.
You can find Beth on her website, at Twitter, and become her friend on Facebook
www.bethshriverwriter.com
~*~
Other Beth Shriver titles
available from The Wild Rose Press, Inc.:
LOVE AT FIRST FLIGHT
RECLAIMING TESS
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