Uncontrollable. Yes, that was exactly the way Cade would have described his desire for her just then. Trying hard not to think about that, Cade glanced at the hotel room key she’d used. Even now it mocked him from atop the ledgers and things Violet had set aside. Feeling suddenly beset by those selfsame urges she’d alluded to—or at least by a few illicit impulses exactly as passionately felt—he clenched his jaw. Violet was real.
She was real, she was here, and Cade could not give in to any of the things she was suggesting. No matter what.
“This is a test,” he announced, realizing it must be true—diabolically so. “It’s a test to see if I’ll keep my word, the way I promised to. Well, you can tell your father that I did.” Cade raised his hand to swear it. “This is one honor-bound gambler who won’t endanger your heart or your reputation.”
“Oh, I don’t intend to tell my father about this.” Violet raised herself on tiptoe. She clasped her hand with his upraised hand for leverage, then pressed a kiss to his mouth. “Or that.” Another kiss, followed by a tentative smile. “Or that. Or anything that might happen between us from now till midnight.”
“Midnight?” Maybe he’d misunderstood. After all, he’d never been “reformed” before. Maybe he’d been dreading the notion unnecessarily all this time. “What will take until midnight?”
“More kissing,” Violet specified. “More touching. More looking.” Audaciously, she sent her gaze over his bare torso. “I like the way you look, you know. I like it very much.” Another, bolder perusal. She nodded. “You look very strong. And capable.”
It was still possible he could deter her before it was too late. Hoping to do exactly that, Cade said, “I am capable.”
Her mouth parted. Her cheeks turned a pretty shade of pink.
“I’m capable,” Cade went on, gazing into her eyes, “of giving you the kind of pleasure you couldn’t possibly have imagined. I’m capable of making you yell with enjoyment—of making you writhe and pant beneath me, begging for release.”
Violet swallowed hard. But her gaze never left his.
“I want that,” she said. “I want you. I trust you.”
She shouldn’t do that. Hellfire. Closing his eyes, Cade tried to summon whatever fortitude and integrity he had left.
“Don’t, Violet. Just…don’t.” This time, paradoxically, Cade was the one begging—and they hadn’t even reached his bed. “You don’t know what you’re doing…what could happen. This is—”
“Perfect,” she breathed. “It’s going to be perfect, just as soon as you give in. Just as soon as you realize that I want this. I want you!” Eagerly, Violet shucked her long woolen coat. Beneath it, her calico dress swayed with her movements, showing him a glimpse of stocking-clad ankle. “Please, Cade. I’m not going to beg. But we’ve had an understanding between us for a while now. You must have known this was inevitable. Because I know you see me as I am, and I see you, too, the same way.”
“No, you don’t,” Cade disagreed, needing to disillusion her. “There are things about me that you can’t conceive. Dark things. Things I can’t explain and don’t have answers to.”
“Then you can tell me all about them. I want to know.”
He hauled in a ragged breath. If he had no choice…
“Because I’ve realized something about us, Cade.” Violet offered him a bashful smile. “Something about us together.” With her eyes shining in anticipation of her coming statement, she inhaled. “Somehow, I think, we’re each other’s last chance.”
Cade didn’t understand. “Last chance for what?”
“For feeling loved!” Violet took his hand. “I know I want that. You must want it, too. Wouldn’t it be downright foolhardy to throw away that chance just for the sake of propriety?”
He grinned. “You make a compelling argument.”
“And you make a surprisingly reluctant participant,” she teased. “For a renowned scoundrel and known chance taker.”
“I’m not reluctant. These stakes are higher than most.”
If he wanted to behave honorably, Cade knew, he’d tell Violet that propriety trumped all. If he wanted to avoid hurting her, he’d tell her that he had felt loved, many times over, and had no need of her paltry caring now. But that would be a lie—an especially egregious one—and Cade could not deliver it. Because all at once, he saw Violet in a new and vulnerable light, and he knew that not being with her might hurt her more than being with her ever could. And Cade decidedly didn’t want that.
“But I reckon it would be a sin to throw away a chance at love,” he finally agreed with a reckless grin. “A terrible sin.”
Her eyes brightened. “I’m happy you see things my way.”
“Me, too,” Cade agreed after broadening his smile, and with that, he quit resisting altogether. After all, he’d duly warned Violet. He’d described exactly what would happen between them. He’d even alluded to his frightful past. And still she remained there. No one could fault him for giving her what she wanted.
And if this wasn’t following precisely the intent of his wager with Reverend Benson…well, that could be forgiven, too. Especially if no one ever found out about it, as he planned.
Because Cade hadn’t called on Violet. She’d come to him. She’d come to him and she’d offered herself to him, and he was just a man, with a man’s needs and a man’s eagerness to pleasure a woman, and no one short of a lunatic would expect him to refuse her. Particularly not while she stood there, seeming so ripe and inventive and intriguingly innocent. He’d never had an innocent woman, it occurred to Cade. From his first paramour—a kindhearted whore who’d lived down the street from Cade’s third set of foster parents—to his last, everyone he’d been with had been experienced and jaded. Like him, his partners had been wholly uninterested in any connection beyond lusty pleasure.
But Violet was different. Violet was sweet. She was caring.
All she’d talked about was feeling loved, just this once. They’d both be fools to surrender that chance. So with his mind made up, Cade broadened his smile. He gave Violet a lingering, up-and-down perusal…one designed to heighten her innocent awareness of exactly how close they were about to become.
“It would be a sin to throw away a chance at love,” he repeated. Then, “Do you know what else is a sin?”
Violet swallowed hard. In a shaky voice, she ventured, “Coveting your neighbor’s skill with a knitting needle?”
He smiled. Damnation, but he could have fallen for Violet…if he’d been a settling-down kind of man. Which he was not. Giving her a tenderhearted smile nonetheless, Cade said, “Not understanding what your body is capable of feeling. Not experiencing all the sensations that are waiting for you.”
“Oh.” She bit her lip. “I see. Such as?”
She was so brave, it occurred to him. Even in this. He couldn’t help admiring that about her. Moving closer, Cade skimmed his hands along her hips to her waist. With slow, deliberate movements, he traced the curves he found there.
“Such as…this.” He lifted his gaze to hers. “Do you feel that? Do you feel the way your body differs from mine?”
She shivered…even while her body radiated warmth to his fingertips. With sham contemplativeness, Violet crinkled her brow. “I’m not sure. Perhaps if you demonstrated some more?”
“Minx.” Cade grinned again. “You’re deliberately encouraging me to continue.”
“Yet you’re decidedly not continuing. So…”
“So you hadn’t reckoned on my self-control, I guess.” He hadn’t either, he realized. He hadn’t reckoned on his resolve crumbling so much in the face of Violet’s naive allure. “Try to pay attention this time,” he said, “and I’ll demonstrate again.”
Smiling, Violet stood erect. “All right. I’m ready.”
So was he. He was ready to lay her down on the waiting bed, strip off those interferingly fussy clothes of hers and make her his. But that wouldn’t be nearly as much fun as this…as much fun as carefully sliding
his hands from Violet’s hips—again—to her waist. To augment his lesson, he kissed her, exceedingly gently.
“Where you’re curvy, I’m straight,” Cade explained. “Where you’re soft and yielding, I’m sturdy…even rigid.” Damnation, he was rigid. It felt as though his hastily yanked-on trousers had shrunk in the past few minutes. “We fit together, you and me.”
“I hope we fit together,” Violet quipped. “Otherwise I’ve been woefully misinformed about what to expect.”
He raised his brows. “What do you expect?”
She breathed out, glancing determinedly away from him. “Some good things. Some touching. A bit of…pain.” Her gaze skittered back to his. “My married friends do confide in me.”
“Your married friends are the ones who are misinformed.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean lovemaking shouldn’t hurt.” Cade might not have indulged in the sentimental, hearts-and-flowers version of sexual relations, but he knew that much for certain. He knew it should feel good. “If there’s any pain, it should be brief and—”
“Oh, it won’t hurt you! Don’t worry about that!” Violet hastened to assure him. She gave a fretful titter, seeming concerned that she might have alarmed him unduly. “You will enjoy it, without a doubt! All men do. If my friend Adeline is right, I will enjoy some of what goes on between us too, so—”
“All,” Cade specified fiercely. “You will enjoy all of the things that go on between us. Or I’ll know the reason.”
Her eyes widened. “You sound so determined.”
That was because he cared about her, Cade knew. Because he wanted her to experience the kind of joy she deserved and had been denied until now…and maybe would be denied in the future, too. It wasn’t fair that Violet Benson had been overlooked just because she didn’t possess apple cheeks or an upturned nose. In that moment, Cade found her beautiful. He wanted her to feel that way, as well. He wanted her to feel…everything.
“You sound dubious,” he replied with another grin. “But that won’t last. I promise you that much.”
“Oh? And how will you—”
“Like this,” Cade interrupted, then pulled her into his arms. He’d dallied too long with chitchat and preliminaries. Now was the time to make Violet see what she’d been missing. So he did. He lowered his head and took her mouth with his, a prelude to everything that would come next and after. She felt good and warm and eager in his arms, and he felt that he could have kissed her for days and not come up for air. But eventually his lungs protested, so Cade stopped. He gave Violet a loving look, then kissed her once more. “With enough kissing,” he explained, “I think your inappropriate dubiousness will go away.”
“I’m not so sure,” she teased anew. “Perhaps you’ve lost your touch. Perhaps your kisses have lost their potency.”
“Minx.” Again he kissed her. And again Cade found himself caught up in their coming together. Kissing Violet was like jumping off a cliff…straight into heaven. It was like sunshine and blue skies. It was like needing and needing…and getting only a taste of something essential and true. “How do you feel now?”
Appearing dazed, Violet shook her head. “A bit more certain, I guess,” she judged with her usual vivacity. “More?”
“More?” She was going to kill him. Any thought Cade might have given to stopping now could not have withstood her provocation. Whether Violet knew it or not, she was giving him exactly what he needed to ignore any lingering doubts of his own. More, more, more, she urged him…and Cade wanted to give it.
“Yes, more.” She blinked. “Or should I undress first?”
At the thought, dizziness swamped him. The notion of seeing Violet in the altogether, bared and willing and eager, was almost more than Cade could stand. He swallowed. “I’ll do that.”
“But you’re already partly undressed.”
“I’ll undress you.” To prove it, Cade toyed with her bodice’s topmost button. He contemplated the secrets it hid, and felt himself grow twice as rigid as before. He’d considered what she would look like naked, of course. Any man would have, especially given the time they’d spent together…and the unexpected rapport they’d shared. But to be so close to the reality of that daydream… “Mmm. But first, another kiss.”
This time, their mouths met unerringly, in a newly practiced glide that paired heat and slickness and softness in ways Cade had never quite experienced before. With Violet, kissing felt new. Everything felt new. New and better than ever.
He raised his head, unable to quit smiling at her. She smiled back at him. Then her mouth made an O. She clapped her hand over her gaping dress bodice, her brows raised. “Oh! You’ve already started!” A dreamy chuckle. “I didn’t even realize it.”
“I did.” Wolfishly interested in the bare skin he’d revealed at her dress’s neckline, Cade traced his finger down the center of her chest. Her cleavage was modest and perfect. With effort, he lifted his gaze to her face. “You’re beautiful.”
Her expression changed. “I’m not beautiful, Cade. Don’t say that. You, of all people, know that I’m not—”
“Enough.” Sternly, he pressed his fingertip to her lips. It required a serious effort of will not to linger there…not to delight in the luscious softness of her mouth and the sweet bow he found there at her lower lip. But since there were things between them that were more important than simple carnal pleasures… “No more talk like that. I won’t have it.”
As punishment—and diversion—he deftly slipped a few more buttons free of their confining buttonholes. Her bodice gaped a bit more. The effect was enchanting. Her breasts swelled pertly above her tightly laced corset, ready and waiting and…
“But it’s true!” Violet protested. “I’m not even pretty.”
“You’re beyond pretty,” Cade said, and in that moment, it became his mission to prove it to her. “You have something no other woman does, Violet. You have yourself, in all your glory, for me to delight in and laugh with and touch this way—”
“Hmmph. No other woman wants my so-called ‘glory.’”
“Some people are beautiful when you meet them,” Cade said, giving her an unyielding look. “Others become beautiful as you get to know them. You,” he specified with a lingering touch, “become prettier to me with every minute. You are beautiful.”
With that, her eyes filled with tears. “Truly?”
“Truly,” Cade said, and gave her a kiss to prove it. “I love your freckled face and your wonderful nose. I love your crooked, skeptical smile and your warm, giving hands. I love your body—” He broke off, too distracted to continue speaking as he dared to fill his palms with her breasts, now almost wholly freed from her wide, lace-trimmed bodice. He kissed her instead. “I love everything about you, Violet. And to demonstrate that, I’m going to love every bit of you, starting right now.”
Her smile enchanted him. “Even my ankles?”
“Even your ankles,” Cade told her, and he knew then that he had won. “So lie back and get ready,” he said as he gestured to the waiting bed, “because we’ve only just begun.”
Chapter Eight
With an exuberance born of discovery and curiosity and almost unbearable hopefulness, Violet leaped toward the bed.
She landed amid the tangled covers in a veritable heap of calico skirts and lacy muslin petticoats. Her scandalously unbuttoned bodice allowed her bosom to feel the fresh air; her invigorated skin tingled at her first contact with Cade’s fancy hotel room sheets. Her mouth felt swollen and her legs felt weak and everywhere beneath her skirts felt uniquely warm—almost effervescently so—and she wasn’t sure how much more of Cade’s sweet words she could stand before she simply swooned with joy.
Because Cade Foster loved her. He loved her!
He’d just said so, over and over again. I love everything about you. And now, just as she had when she’d first heard those words from his lips, Violet felt overcome with gladness.
She’d done the right thing
by coming here to be with him. If not for her burst of boldness today, she might never have known that Cade thought she was beautiful. That he thought she was irresistible. That he loved her!
“There!” Violet announced. Bravely, she pushed up on her elbows, then regarded Cade from her perch on his bed. Chirpily, she patted the bedclothes beside her. “I’m ready. Now what?”
“Now—” He gave her an adorably devilish eyebrow quirk…one that made her heartbeat race twice as eagerly. “I’ll join you.”
He did as he’d promised, making the mattress dip beneath his weight. Keeping her in his sights, Cade prowled his way from the edge of the bed to Violet’s place in the very center of it.
“You have lovely big muscles,” she observed, eyeing the rippled, corded movements of his arms and shoulders and chest as he approached her. Avidly, she let her gaze roam down Cade’s chest, following his dark chest hair to his taut belly, then lower to his… Not yet ready, she whipped up her gaze. “I like your muscles. No, I love them,” Violet said in fond mimicry of him. “I do. Especially when you use them to hold me close.”
“That’s one of the best uses for them,” he agreed.
“I don’t suppose it requires much strength to hold cards at a gambling table,” she mused aloud, “but still, you’re strong.”
“And you’re talkative.” A grin. “But that won’t last.”
“I can’t see why not.” Somewhat nervously, Violet watched as Cade stretched out on the bed beside her. “I’m pretty good at keeping a conversation going,” she said. “For instance—” She broke off, noticing then that Cade’s trousers had gaped a bit near the waistband. His movements made it evident that if he was wearing undergarments, they were exceedingly tiny. Which seemed unlikely. Which could mean only that he was naked under there.
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