"Agreed," Rosalind says and raps the table signaling the adjournment of the council meeting.
18 JOLIE
"There is a cavern not far," Ladon says as most of the group files past us.
Calista is on his arm grinning while I'm on Sverre's arm doing the same back to her.
"Good, how dangerous?" Sverre asks.
"As you'd expect," Ladon says. "It's not unmanageable. It will be easier with another Zmaj."
"Do what you can to prepare," Sverre says.
Ladon hisses then he and Calista walk away. Amara is waiting a short distance off watching us. She walks up once they are gone.
"I want to help," she says.
Sverre stiffens, it's subtle and if I wasn't holding on to his arm I might not have noticed.
"Thank you, this is something I must do on my own," he answers her.
Amara bites her lower lip while putting a hand on her hip. Jealousy stabs into my heart watching her look at him with her pretty, dark eyes.
"This is my area," she says sounding petulant.
Sverre looks down at her and his tail increases its tempo of back and forth.
"I understand," he says.
Amara stares at him waiting for him to change his mind. Sverre stands waiting too.
"Why?" Amara asks at last.
"I'm not sure if I can," he says. "Let me investigate first."
"Fine," she says leaving.
"So does that leave me out as well?" I ask now that we're alone.
Sverre stares silently. The swish of his tail back and forth is enough to tell me he's upset. I step around in front of him and place a hand on his chest.
"Talk to me," I speak softly.
"Jolie," he says, his voice tight. "There are things I don't want to remember. Things I don't want to know. I know I did things, to do this, will bring them back."
"It's okay," I say. "We'll face them together."
His mouth tightens into a hard line but he puts his hand over mine on his chest.
"Let's go," he says, slinging his pack over his shoulder.
He leads the way through the building and down into the depths where the motors that Amara has been working on are. The motors are massive. Each one of them is as large as a small building in its own right and there are dozens of them lined up in rows. We walk down the rows and he doesn't look to either side, keeping his gaze focused directly in front. He walks in silence and there's something so solemn about the moment that I can't think of anything to say either.
We reach a wall at the far end of the room and he stops. His head is bowed, his tail is moving back and forth quickly, even his wings rustle like they have nervous energy running through them. He breathes deeply and closes his eyes.
"Sverre, what is it?" I ask as his breathing changes and becomes shallower.
"Memories," he exhales.
"Tell me," I press.
"No!" he cries, pulling back from me. "I can't."
Fear, cold and chilling grips me but this is Sverre. I know him better than this. I know the man beyond whatever he's trying to confront. I won't let fear come between us.
"What?" I ask again but I don't move any closer.
He shakes his head side to side.
"It's all…"
"All what Sverre? What could be so bad? It's not going to change how I feel about you."
"Don't be so sure," he says and the pain in his voice is enough to break my heart.
"How bad can it be?"
He shakes his head side to side.
"I've done terrible things Jolie. I am undeserving of you. This is all a mistake. Once the shields are on, I will leave, you will find another. One worthy of a treasure such as you."
He pulls his bag in front of himself as he talks, reaches in and pulls out the box that contains the shield thing. That thing, it's always at the center of his upset. What is it about that thing? He palms the shield then closes his eyes and raises his hand to his chest and presses down. When he removes his hand the shield remains in place. He steps back then up to the wall. Something grinds then clicks. A green light shines from some point on the wall and moves up and down across the shield then the wall fades and is gone. A long walkway lies in front of us.
"Holy fading walls," I say, leaning into the new exposed area.
Sverre is still standing with his eyes closed, breathing in rapid gasps, his tail twitches side to side. I move in close until I'm pressed against the hard muscles of his chest. Putting my arms around his neck I rise up on my toes until our lips meet. He doesn't resist but for a moment he doesn't respond either. I keep my lips pressed to his until at last he stirs, I'm pulling him from the fog of memory, away from his past.
"Sverre," I whisper his name.
"Jolie," he says.
"It doesn't matter," I say.
"You don't know," he replies. "I'm not worthy."
"I do know. You are," I say with all my heart.
Memory dances in his eyes and while he's looking at me a part of him is looking at the past. I hold tight to him anchoring him to the now but it's all I can do. I feel him pulling away from me even though he doesn't move an inch. The connection between the two of us is straining as he retreats.
"No, I was wrong. So wrong," he whispers.
"Talk to me Sverre, please."
His fabulous turquoise eyes bore into mine unblinking.
"You deserve to know," he says at last. "They all do. I'm no leader, I don't deserve to be around other people. I should return to my exile."
"Why?"
"It's my fault," he says pulling out of my embrace.
I stare after him, my feelings hurt at his retreat. He turns his back on me but doesn't go any further.
"What are you talking about?"
"The devastation, the war, the destruction, it's my fault," he says.
"What? How?"
He glances over his shoulder at me and I realize how harsh my voice must have sounded to him. I didn't mean for it to but I was surprised by what he said.
"Because I pushed the vote, I let it come to the table."
"Sverre, what are you talking about? What does this have to do with that Star Trek looking thing on your chest and what does any of this have to do with what happened? You're not making sense!"
"Aren't I?" he hisses, suddenly he's angry. It pulses between us.
His hands close into fists and he whirls to fully face me. I take an involuntary step backwards more in surprise than anything else. His tail swishes side to side and his wings flutter. He clenches his fists repeatedly until he seems to at last be in control of himself.
"Talk to me, please," I say and despite the quaver of fear that chases its way down my spine I walk to him.
Putting both my hands on his chest I look into his eyes and I stand before him waiting. He shakes his head side to side then like a balloon deflating the anger drains out of him. The tension is gone and there's only the two of us standing together.
"You won't understand, how can you?"
"Try me," I say.
He closes his eyes, inhales deeply, then nods in agreement.
"I was a leader of my people," he says. "I was Chair of the Ruling Council when we voted to rebel. The memory of it is, vague, the bijass eats at the details but I remember, so clearly, picking up the gavel and bringing it down. The rebellion would happen. My vote started it. I slammed the gavel."
"You couldn't have known," I say.
"It was my job to know," he says.
"Sure I say. You couldn't though. You just said yourself that the bijass eats at the details. How much do you really remember? How much do you know and how much are you guessing?"
He shakes his head so I press forward.
"You're claiming it's all you but you said you were Chair of a Ruling Council, right? Then there were more than just you. How many? Five, ten, a dozen?"
"Fifty-seven," he says.
I stop and blink. "Fifty-seven?"
"Yes, one for each territory," he
says.
"Oh," I say thinking that over. "Well okay but seriously, how could it ALL be your fault?"
"It was, my vote was final. I started the war that became the end of my race."
"Okay," I say.
"Okay?" he asks.
"Yes, okay."
"I don't understand," he says.
"I get it. It happened. You made a bad choice and it went terrible. You can't change then, you can only fix now and you know what? We need you. Right now, your people need you. My people need you. What I saw in that room up there, that was a leader. Even big bad Ladon was listening to you."
"I'm not a leader," he says.
"Bullshit, you're like the Captain Picard of the planet!"
"Captain Picard?" he asks, confused.
"Never mind that, my point stands. You're the one we need. So you screwed up. I still love you."
"Love?" he asks and everything stops.
The entire universe makes a clank sound as it comes to a screeching halt. I said it. The thoughts and feelings that have been growing inside my heart since I met him just blurted out. The word hangs between the two of us and I know it's going to crash down at any moment. As soon as the universe returns to motion it will fall and everything will shatter. If I let it. I'm not going to because I realize now it's true. I'm in love with him.
"Yes damn it, I love you. And I'm pretty sure you love me too," I say with a confidence that feels like it's built on quicksand. One wrong word from him and my glass houses will shatter.
He stares at me, lights dancing in his beautiful eyes, then he moves so fast I barely see it happen. He's standing apart one moment then I'm off my feet and in his arms swinging in a circle. He pulls me in tight, his wings pop out and wrap around the two of us as we kiss. His tongue seeks mine insistently until our kiss becomes a fuel for our passion. I can feel his arousal pressing into my abdomen as he continues to squeeze me tighter. We break the kiss to gasp in air and I laugh then he's laughing too.
"I love you," he says, his eyes sparkling.
I'm so happy that a tear slides down my face. He sets me back on my feet then wipes the tear.
"I'm fine," I say, wiping at the next tear that tries to escape. "It's nothing."
"You are not sad?" he asks. "Or hurt?"
"No, I'm just… I'm so happy," I say and then more tears are falling while I laugh.
"Happy," he says shaking his head. "Your race is very… inefficient."
"Yeah," I laugh. "I guess we are."
I lean against him and listen to the beating of his heart. It echoes which I've noticed before. It must be part of his alien biology.
"I am glad you have chosen me Jolie," he says. "I knew, the moment I saw you, that you were the one for me. I did not want to force that choice on you. I wanted you to make it of your own free will. You make me very happy."
"You're so sweet," I say.
"Maybe in time we can discuss having children?" he asks.
I hadn't thought that far ahead myself but then I remember him miming something about my belly and it hits me that's probably what he was trying to communicate.
"Oh," I say. "Yeah. I mean, I want kids. I do but let's take care of everything else first, okay?"
"Of course," he says. "Let us activate the shield."
He keeps one arm around my shoulders as we walk through the disappearing wall. It leads us out onto a catwalk that drops into a black abyss on either side. It's designed for Zmaj to walk two abreast I would guess so there's no problem for the two of us to walk side by side. An eerie, oppressive silence sits in this room. Looking up I can't see a ceiling and there are no walls visible to either side. It's like walking a catwalk across nothing, through nothing, and too nothing.
I don't know how long we walk until there's a wall in front of us. Sverre walks up to it and touches something. A green light again beams out and scans his badge then the wall turns into some kind of touch screen like device. He works quickly touching random symbols which cause other ones to appear. The machine that lets me speak and understand his language does not seem to have imparted an understanding of the writing.
"Yes," he hisses then something clicks and there's a loud clang.
The sound of air flowing follows the clang then something whirs. The hair on my arms stands on end as the room becomes charged with static electricity. The blackness that surrounded us lightens until it's a dim gloom but not nearly as oppressive as it was. Sverre looks around then does some more things on the monitor.
"It is done," he says.
"Really? Let's go see it! I've got odds on this place looking like Gallifrey!"
"What is Gallifrey?" he asks as I pull on his arm trying to make him move faster.
"Sverre I've got so much to teach you," I say thinking of all the pop culture I need to bring him up to speed on. "But for now, hurry up! I want to see it!"
He smiles and then we run hand in hand.
19 SVERRE
"Oh Sverre, it's beautiful!" Jolie exclaims.
I pull her tight against me. The joy in her is infectious. "It is, isn't it?" I observe.
"We have to see it from higher, oh I want to see it from one of the dunes outside, it's amazing. I have to know if it looks like Gallifrey. I'm sure it does! The red sand and the sky, oh the domes will sparkle, the towers, it's got to be perfect!"
"How about we hold off on that?" I ask.
"Why?"
"I want to get the expedition for the epis organized for tomorrow. That will put us outside the city and we can see it all then."
Her shoulders slump but she nods agreement. "Fine," she says exaggerating being dejected. "If you insist."
Everything feels… good. Standing on top of one of the tallest buildings in the city and looking out I can ignore the destruction below us. The broken windows, the twisted steel, the hulking, rusted remains of vehicles and things that were. The domes sparkle reflecting back the harsh sun and blocking out the worst of the heat. I don't mind but I know it's hard on Jolie and any of her kind that haven't taken the epis yet.
Epis. The rise and fall of this planet, of my entire race, is told through epis. Once we numbered in the millions. Before the devastation, before my choice that changed our future. Melancholy comes through the fog of what was. How much of this is because I don't want to remember? How much is the bijass?
"Hey," Jolie says, pushing against me and pulling me out of my thoughts.
"Hmm?" I ask, tearing my gaze away from the horizon.
"Here, with me, right? Don't go getting lost in the past," she says.
"Yes, of course my love," I say.
"I mean it," she says, rising on her toes and kissing me.
Wrapping my arms around her it's easy to focus on the now. The way she fits against me, the taste of her sweet lips, the curve of her hips all anchor me here. Where I should be.
Pulling away I observe Jolie's eyes are sunken, her skin has a lack of tension to it, no matter how soft and sweet they are the imprint of my lips on hers lingers. She's in a state of extreme dehydration.
"I need to find Ladon," I say. "We need the epis, today."
"Are you sure?" she asks. "Can't you let him go?"
I shake my head. "No, it is too dangerous for any one man."
"He's done it before," she says.
"He encountered a young one by his own words and you yourself said he was injured. If he was to encounter a full grown zemlja," I don't need to say more because she nods understanding.
"That's what I'm worried about," she places her hands on my chest.
Warmth blossoms under her touch and my body responds, my cock stirring but now is not the time. I want her, badly, so instead I lean in and kiss her before taking her hand and leading the way back to street level.
"I want to go with you," she says.
"No," I reply.
"You know that's not going to work right?"
"I can try," I say.
"Okay, how about this. Let's short circuit the entire thi
ng. You say no, I say yes, we argue, I pout and stomp my foot. I'll be particularly petulant, hell I'll even throw some tears in there and in the end you will agree to let me come along. So can we just skip to the end?" she asks, grinning.
Going over her argument I look for any flaw in her logic. Anything, any way I can prove her to be incorrect but nothing comes to mind. I close my eyes and shake my head.
"Will you agree to listen to me? Whatever I tell you, you will do, without question?"
"Sounds kinky," she says.
"What is kinky?" I ask. "I don't understand how you're using that term, there is nothing curling about my words."
Jolie laughs. I love her laugh even if it is apparently at my own expense. Her voice is musical but her laugh is like a complex symphony of sounds creating a single crescendo that gives my soul wings and lets it soar.
"Uhm, I'll try to explain that later," she says. "It means, uh, non-standard sex?"
"Is there a standard for sex in your culture?"
"Uh, well, maybe, crap we're getting in deep now," she laughs as her face turns a shade of pink.
"Deep in what?"
"How about, later, I show you some things?" she grins, her face deepening to red.
"If it's with you, I'm all in."
She snorts and we walk into the main building where I hope Ladon will be. He's walking through the lobby as we enter with Calista and Rosalind at his side.
"Good morning," I greet them.
Ladon stares and tenses but retains control of himself. After a moment he nods.
"I've got a few good men ready to go," Rosalind says.
"Good," I say.
"I'm going too," Calista says.
"No," Ladon retorts instantly.
All of us look at Calista who is quite obviously far along in pregnancy by the looks of her swollen belly. While I agree with Ladon I'm not sure I want to get involved yet. I've lost this argument already with Jolie.
"Absolutely not," Rosalind says. "You're getting too big and won't be able to move quickly."
"I can too!" Calista exclaims.
"It's not up for discussion," Rosalind says.
"They're probably right," Jolie says, taking Calista's hands in hers.
Calista's lips purse and it's obvious she wants to argue.
Dragon's Mate: A Scifi Alien Romance (Red Planet Dragons of Tajss Book 2) Page 13