by Jamie Pope
“I—I had errands this morning.”
“Oh? I thought it was because you woke up with your hands on my breasts. I know they aren’t what they used to be, but they shouldn’t have scared you away.”
Her words made him smile, made him get off his feet and go to her. “They’re bigger now than the last time I touched them.” He wrapped his hands around her waist, pulling her closer, knowing it was a mistake the moment he felt her soft skin.
“Age and two pounds of ribs will do that to a girl,” she said, her voice a little breathy. “I had fun last night at dinner. I didn’t tell you that, but I did. Thank you for that.”
“You don’t need to thank me.”
“I do.” She nodded. “I need to start doing that—telling people how I feel in the moment—because I never know if I’m going to see them again. Losing Terrance so quickly taught me that.”
It was a beautiful sentiment and a horribly sad thought all at the same time. “How are you feeling right now?” It was a dangerous question, an unfair one, because he wouldn’t be able to answer it truthfully if she asked the same of him.
“Confused.” She looked him in the eye. “Uncomfortable. You touched me this morning.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Why?” She searched his face. “I don’t want you to be. I need to be touched. It reminds me that I am still alive.”
Alive . . . and so very lovely.
Her words, it seemed, were all the invitation he needed. He wanted to touch her and she wanted to be touched. He moved his hands from her waist to her belly. He touched her lumpy scar, the one that reminded him how close he was to losing her, and how badly he wanted to keep her now that he’d found her again. She stiffened a little, but she allowed him to touch her. He moved from that spot soon and brought her fully against him. He could feel her nipples through her wet bra, hard and aroused. He wanted to free them and touch them, roll them between his fingers, suck them into his mouth, but he didn’t. There were so many other things he wanted to do to her too. He settled for her throat. He kissed it, with slow, dragging, soft kisses. Her breathing quickened; she let out little pants and moans as he made sure that every spot of skin on her neck was touched by his lips.
“This feels good,” she told him. “Thank you.”
Her words made him grow a little harder, drove him to touch her a little more boldly. He smoothed his hands down her backside, cupping her behind in his hands, squeezing it.
Calm down, he warned himself. He had barely touched her and yet he felt like he was going to explode.
He forced himself away from her, not completely away but enough to slow him down.
She must have thought he was finished, that this interlude was over, because she took his hands and kissed each one. Then she turned to walk away from him.
“No.” He grabbed her, pulled her against him so that her back touched his front. “Not yet. I’m not done.”
* * *
Excitement flooded through her as she heard Wylie’s accented voice whisper those words in her ear. He was hard. He was hot. He wanted her. His lips touched the back of her neck, just lightly, making her jump with anticipation. His fingers curled around her breast as his other hand did a slow slide down her stomach. “Let me make you feel good.” His voice had grown rougher, strained; she recognized the tone. It was the tone he always had when arousal was making it too hard for him to speak. “Please. Let me make you feel good.”
She just nodded, unable to speak at all. His big hand slipped into her underwear and he let out a hiss of pleasure when he found her wetness. He just felt for a moment, touching her mound, getting reacquainted with the shape of her lips. The simple touches set her further on edge. She moved against him, trying to seek relief from the throbbing that he was causing.
“Let me,” he urged as he grasped her hip to keep her still. She relented, allowing him to be in control. He entered her with the slow slide of one thick finger. Her knees buckled, but he caught her, taking her weight on with his body. He rubbed her in slow circles: once, twice, three times, before she came totally apart. Three times before the waves and waves of orgasm hit her, taking her breath and making her want him all over again.
She turned to look at him, taking his face in her hands. He stiffened slightly, disappointment crossing his face.
“What? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” He kissed her lips once. “Let’s get back to the house. I have to go to work.”
* * *
He would have made love to her. He would have laid her down in the sand and made love to her until he made up for every one of those ten years that he spent away from her, but she touched his face. She touched his face and he felt the slightly cool metal of her ring. Her wedding band reminded him that she had married Terrance. She probably still felt married to him. She still loved him. He was just a stand-in for the man she wanted to be with.
“You look like hell,” Tanner said in greeting when he found him later that morning.
“You ain’t so goddamn gorgeous yourself.”
“Whoa!” Tanner held up his hands in defense. “And I thought you were nicer than your sister. I see cranky pain in the ass runs in the family.”
“It does.” He wiped his hand over his face, as if that could wash away his mental exhaustion. “And I know I’m being an asshole, but I don’t care to stop being one at the moment, so you are just going to have to deal with me being unpleasant for the whole damn day.”
“It’s Cassandra, isn’t it?”
“Damn girl has been screwing with my life since I was thirteen years old. Probably going to screw with me long after I’m dead.”
“I like her,” Tanner admitted. “She’s seems all quiet and sad, but she’s a smartass. And I like a little bit of a smartass in a lady.”
“She’s different than she was when we first met. How could she not be different after all she’s been through? But I like her just as much as I did before I left.”
“So what’s the problem then?”
“She married him.”
“You walked away, and if he loved her like you said, what did you expect her to do?”
“I don’t know. I walked away. I know this is my fault, but I wish she hadn’t married him. I wish she had married anyone but him.”
* * *
When Cassandra arrived at Mansi’s house that morning, she found the older woman sitting in her usual spot. There was a giant glass of iced tea in her hand, and a bowl of chocolate ice cream was in her lap.
“Ice cream in the morning?” she asked as she sat beside her.
“Yeah.” Mansi raised one of her white brows and pinned her with a rebellious stare. “I’m old. I’ll eat what I want, when I want. If you got a problem with that, write to your congressman.”
“I don’t have a problem with it.” Cassandra wanted to laugh. “I was just wondering if I could have some too.”
Mansi grinned at her. “Of course. I’ve got four kinds in the freezer. Just don’t eat the cotton candy. It’s for Teo and it’s disgusting.”
“I won’t. Can I do anything for you today? Do you need weeds pulled or laundry done? I can cook pretty well. Can I make you something?”
“You’re getting bored with me, girl?” Mansi nodded. “Good. You’re getting better. I don’t need any help, but Nova does. She’s in the kitchen.”
“Nova’s here?”
“Yes. She spent the night here with Teo. I think she’s putting away groceries.”
When she walked into the kitchen, she found Nova at the counter, placing sliced carrots into a plastic container. She watched her silently for a moment as Nova meticulously placed each piece. Curious, Cassandra walked closer to see that Nova was turning those carrot sticks into whiskers.
“You’re making a cat!” Cass stood beside her, studying the sandwich she was turning into an art project. “Wow, Nova! This is beautiful.”
“Thank you.” She watched the normally bold woman become bashful. “
I saw these bento box things on the Internet and thought I would try to make them for Teo. Silly kid won’t eat a vegetable normally, but if I slap some eyes on it and stick it in a box, he eats them all up.” She slipped her phone out of her back pocket. “He flipped over this one. I made birds out of rice balls mixed with chicken. The flowers are made from broccoli. There is no way I thought he would eat it,” she said softly, a sweet smile crossing her face. “But he did. He called me at work just to tell me how much he liked it.”
“That’s very sweet, Nova.”
“Yeah.” She put her phone away and shrugged. “He’s all right for a kid that came from me.”
Nova was sweet. The more time Cassandra spent with her, the more she saw that, but Cassandra was confused by her too. She saw that when Nova was with her son, she kept her distance, kept Teo at arm’s length. The boy spent more time with Mansi than he did with Nova, but those beautifully made, intricate boxed lunches were a sign of love.
“Mansi said you might need help. Is there anything I can do for you?”
She motioned to the basket of clothes on the dryer. “You can help me fold Teo’s clothes. I’ll do forty-five loads of laundry. I’ll scrub a latrine, but I hate folding clothes.”
“I love to fold.”
“You’re crazy.”
“It’s not the first time I’ve been accused of that.” She picked up one of Teo’s shirts, the one she saw him in yesterday, which had been covered in chocolate syrup and soda and whatever else he came in contact with that day. It was now free of stains, devoid of any signs that it had ever been worn by a messy little boy. “How did you get this so clean?”
“I filled the machine with cold water and let the detergent dissolve before I put the clothes in. Then I added a booster. Trust me, Teo goes through more clothes than a Kardashian, but this helps keep them a little longer.”
“My husband would have loved you.”
“I doubt that,” she answered with a snort. “If he was anywhere near as quiet and proper as you, he would have gone running for the hills as soon as he saw me.”
“I’m not proper. Terrance was, but you would have been his type. He was a neat freak and you know your way around a washing machine. Plus you’ve got the type of body that would have made his mouth drop to the floor. He had a major thing for women who looked like pinup girls.”
“Your husband told you that?” she asked in surprise.
“Of course not. But I’m not oblivious. A wife knows what her husband likes, and Terrance liked bad girls. Besides, it’s hard not to notice when your husband almost breaks his neck looking at a woman with breasts the size of my head, but he was a good man, so I forgave him that.”
“And your guy was Wylie’s best friend?”
“They were closer than friends. They were like brothers, even though they were so different.”
“What was he like?”
“Terrance is . . .” Cassandra paused, realizing that she was talking about him as if he were still here. “Terrance was the type of guy who was good at almost everything he tried. He was brilliant and handsome and funny and tall and athletic. He could talk to anyone about anything. But he was a dork too. He liked comic books and sci-fi movies and—”
“Supercurvy bad girls. You’re not a bad girl. How did he end up with you?”
“He loved me. And I was the type of girl he was supposed to marry. My father is a doctor. My mother was a debutante. His father was a lawyer. His mother was the daughter of a diplomat.”
“And where did my brother fit in, in that family?”
“He didn’t. Wylie was the opposite of everything the Millers were. Terrance was always in the middle of it all, while Wylie stayed in the background. But he was sweet and polite and kind and thoughtful, and he worked hard for everything. Plus he was thankful for whatever he got.”
“You loved your husband. But you loved Wylie, too.”
“Yes. I loved him very much.”
“Then how did you end up with your husband?”
“Because your brother was a giant dumbass who left me and broke my heart.”
Nova threw back her head and laughed. “You’re right. You’re not so proper. And my brother is a giant dumbass. And I always thought you were the one who broke his heart.”
“What did he tell you about us?” She had always wondered—wondered why he left, wondered why he walked out without a word.
“Nothing. Less than nothing. I was constantly busting his stones about why he never had a girl since he’s come to the island. He told me because there was someone he had to leave behind in Connecticut.”
“What the hell did he mean by that?”
“My guess is as good as yours.” Nova left her spot and stopped in front of Cassandra, surprising her by sliding her hands along her face and studying her closely. “Do you think I could . . .”
“What?”
“Cut your hair. I’m sorry, girl, but you look like a hot mess.”
* * *
“You need jewelry. And not pearls either.”
“I like pearls,” Cass protested.
“They are for fifties housewives and socialites, and you are neither. Here.” Nova pulled a pair of diamond studs out of her purse. “Try these.”
“I couldn’t. They are too nice.”
“Do I look like the type of woman who owns a pair of real diamonds? Put them on and stop questioning me all the time.”
“You’re bossy,” she said as she studied herself in the mirror. She couldn’t stop looking because she didn’t recognize herself. She wasn’t the girl she was ten years ago. She wasn’t the woman who spent so many years devoted to her job and husband. She was totally different. She felt lighter. She felt new.
“But you’ll forgive me because you look much better than the walking corpse I first met. Now I can see why my brother had such a thing for you.”
“‘Walking corpse’? That’s not a nice thing to say to a grieving widow.”
“Who said I was nice?”
The sound of Wylie’s truck pulling into the driveway made Cassandra’s heart pound a little faster. Thoughts of him flooded her mind all day. He touched her, slid his hands all over her body, kissed her until the numbness went away, and brought bliss to her body without asking for anything in return.
He was hot and cold with her again—just like when they were kids—kissing her and then walking away, making love to her and then telling her they couldn’t be together. It used to drive her crazy then, and it bothered her now. How could he do that to her? How could he be so tender and sweet and then not say anything else to her that morning? How could he act like none of it happened? It made her question why he brought her here.
She knew why. Her mother had asked him to; and deep down, Wylie was still that same boy who always wanted to please.
She should move on, go away, find a new place to make her home. She couldn’t go back to Harmony Falls, but she couldn’t leave this place yet either. Not when her life was starting to feel hopeful again—and not like such a burden.
The front door burst open. Teo was the first one in the house. “Mommy!” He skidded to a stop in front of her, staring up at her in surprise. “You’re still here?”
“For a little while. I have to go in to work soon.”
“You do?”
The disappointment on Teo’s face was easy to read; surprisingly, Nova’s face looked the same way. “There’s a fancy wedding on Vineyard Haven and they picked me to do everyone’s hair, but I’ll come get you tonight.”
“When I’m sleeping?”
“Yes, when you’re sleeping.”
Teo shook his head. “I’ll stay here instead.”
“You don’t want to sleep at home with me?”
He shrugged. “I sleep here more anyway. Uncle Wylie is going to pick me up from school again tomorrow. Miss Cass is going to help me with my homework again.” Teo looked up at her. “Whoa.”
“Holy shit.” They looked over to see Tanner st
anding just inside the doorway with his mouth agape. “You look hot. Like amazingly hot.”
Pleasure flooded Cass at the outrageous compliment. Her face felt odd, warm, like her cheeks were stretched; she realized that she was smiling. Not thinking about smiling. Not wanting to smile. Actually doing it. Actually smiling. “Blame Nova. She did this to me.”
Tanner came closer, passing her and going straight to Nova. His expression changed when he looked at her. His eyes grew soft and hot, all at the same time. Nova looked up at Tanner, eyes bold, her body leaning toward him unconsciously. There was heat there and Cassandra wondered if the two were as aware of it as she was.
“I’m impressed, Nova. You’re actually good at something more than being a loudmouthed pain in the ass. Maybe I’ll have to come and sit in your chair sometime.”
“You do need a haircut.” She reached up and ran her fingers through Tanner’s overlong dark hair. “But I’m warning you. My scissors are not a magic wand. I can’t fix ugly.”
Tanner leaned closer to Nova, his lips just grazing her ear. “Bitch,” he whispered.
“Smug bastard,” she returned. “Come by the shop Friday. I’ll fix you up.”
Tanner nodded and the two stared at each other for a moment, oblivious to the other people in the room. It was Wylie’s heavy, booted footsteps that broke the heavy tension between the two.
“Uncle Wylie.” Teo ran up to him. “Do you see? Miss Cass got a haircut.”
Wylie looked at her for a long moment; for some reason Cass felt breathless as she watched him study her.
“Well, say something, you knucklehead!” Nova yelled at her brother. “We spent all day doing this.”
“It looks . . . You look . . . just fine. Where’s Mansi?”
And just like that, disappointment flooded her. “She’s—she’s taking a nap.”
“Okay. I need to talk to her. You want to wait for me in the car?”
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “I would like to stay here tonight.”
“What?” His eyes widened.
“I’m going to stay with Teo tonight.” She turned away from him.
He grabbed her shoulder, forcing her back around. “Why?”