by Jamie Pope
“How was T-ball today?”
“It was good. I slid into home plate. Coach said I had good spirit, but said I should save my sliding till I get to Little League.”
“Oh, did he?”
“Coach is a lady. Girls can be coaches too, you know.”
“How silly of me. Of course they can.” She took off his cap and ran her fingers through his curls. “Why do you seem so down today?”
“’Cause I hurt your feelings yesterday and I feel bad.” He dumped the flowers in her lap. “Uncle Wylie said when he makes a lady feel bad, he gets her flowers and she stops being mad.”
“But I’m not mad at you, Teo.”
“That’s what he said, but I wanted to make sure.”
“You can be sure.” She took his small face in her hands and kissed him all over. Wylie thought Teo would squirm at the affection, but he didn’t. Wylie realized that Teo didn’t get that a lot from his own mother. And he needed it. Wylie knew how hard it was to grow up without it. “I’m not going to promise I won’t yell at you again, because I probably will. I’m not going to promise to never be mad at you, because let’s face it, you’re an icky little boy, and icky little boys can be annoying sometimes. But I promise never to stay mad at you, because you are a good boy and I like having you as my friend.” She kissed his nose. “And thank you for my flowers. They are very beautiful.”
Teo looked close to tears, but he blinked them away. “Uncle Wylie said we were going to get hot dogs and ice cream for lunch. You can come if you want.”
“I want.” She nodded. “Go inside and get washed up. We are going to look for a car for me today too. You can help me pick it out.”
“Okay,” he said, getting up. “I think it should be red. You like red. You said it was a power color.”
As soon as the screen door closed behind him, two fat tears slipped out of Cassandra’s eyes. “What a beautiful, sensitive little boy he is. Now I feel doubly like shit for yelling at him yesterday.”
Wylie eased down next to her on the swing, wrapping his arm around her. “I think I want to take him.”
“What do you mean?”
“From Nova. I think I should keep him. I think he would be better off without her anyway.”
“You’re wrong,” she said firmly. “You’re a thousand percent wrong.”
“Why do you think he got so upset when he thought you were mad at him? He thinks you’re going to be like Nova and stay away from him. The boy thinks she doesn’t want him anymore. He told me so today.”
“Nova is not the world’s best mother, but she loves that boy. It’s in her eyes. It’s in the things she does for him, how she washes his clothes, how she makes his lunch. You should see her face when she talks about him. She’s proud of him, but something happened to her along the way that has her convinced she’s bad for him. And it doesn’t help that you and Mansi and everybody else let her continue to think that way.”
“How could I convince her otherwise when the only thing I see her do is pawn him off on somebody else?”
“Weren’t you listening? She’s not spending nights on the town. She’s working, taking weddings to put money away for him. And that check you give her to help support him goes directly into his college fund. If you talked to your sister instead of arguing with her, you might know that. She’s not a bad person, Wylie, but some bad things have happened to her along the way.”
Chapter 15
Cassandra was surprised when they pulled up to Tanner’s house that afternoon. They were there because Wylie said Tanner knew about cars and he would be the best one to help her pick out a used one while she stayed.
“While you stayed.” Those words made her think back to Harmony Falls, to the perfectly good, sensible Volvo she had parked in the garage in the home she had shared with her husband. She hadn’t used it in months, hadn’t driven herself since that day she had the breakdown in the supermarket. It was just sitting there, as well as her house and her things—and the life she once had there. But she tried not to think about that as Tanner’s house came into view. She was taking things one day at a time. And today she wanted a car.
Tanner’s house had an ocean view too. Not like Wylie’s, which was only visible at a distance, but this house was directly on the beach. The ocean seemed to be his backyard. It wasn’t one of the old, charming, cottagelike houses that populated their neighborhood either, but rather an impressive-looking, modern house with a huge wraparound porch and a two-car garage.
“Being a government contractor pays well, doesn’t it?” She looked over to Wylie as he stopped his truck.
“Pretty well, but not this well.”
“It must be nice waking up here every morning.”
“You thinking about leaving my house, Cass? Tanner might have one-hundred-eighty-degree views from his bedroom, but nobody can fry up bacon like me.”
She reached over and slid her hand across Wylie’s face. Her thumb brushed his strong jawline and she couldn’t help but think how much he needed to be taken care of. There was a lot of hurt inside him, probably even more than she had. He was hiding something from her, maybe he was hiding many things from her. Each day she learned more and more about the past they shared, but she had been too afraid to come out and ask him, too afraid that she wouldn’t like what she learned, too afraid to let hurt stomp on the happiness she was just beginning to feel again.
She had always suspected that something went wrong between Terrance and Wylie. Because even if Wylie hadn’t wanted to be with her, even if he needed to find his life elsewhere, it didn’t explain cutting himself away from the only family he’d had at the time. And Terrance was his family. They were more brotherly than most brothers, and they had never spoken another word to each other. Terrance hadn’t ever tried to reach out to him. He never tried to track him down and demand an answer. He never mentioned his absence to her, but she knew it affected him. It had to affect him. She knew that his life was different without his best friend in it.
“You think I would trade delicious bacon for a house with a million-dollar view?” She shook her head. “But if a man comes along who knows how to make little bowls out of bacon, I’m out of there faster than you can blink.”
Shaking his head, he smiled at her. “I wouldn’t blame you, Cass. Not one little bit.” He turned around to Teo in the backseat. “How you holding up, champ? You think you can hold off on lunch for a little while longer?”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “Miss Cass gave me half a peanut butter sandwich and some milk. I’m good for almost two hours.”
“Almost two hours? We’ll hurry then.”
“You don’t have to. A good car is an important thing to buy.”
Cassandra turned around to look at him. “Who told you that?”
“My mother. She said to always have a good car, no matter what, because you never know when you might have to live in it.”
Cassandra locked eyes with Wylie. He shook his head slightly; she knew what he was thinking. He wanted to take Teo. She wanted him too, but Nova, deep down, was a good mother, or she would be once she worked her issues out. “Come on, Teo.” She got out of the truck and took the boy’s hand. “Let’s see how nice this house is.”
Tanner stepped out on the porch just as they made their way up the stairs. The former ranger was lean and tall, but he was ruggedly handsome, with his crooked smile and wrinkled button-down shirt.
“This is quite a house you have here,” Cass said when she walked up to him. “Do you have an elderly sugar mama we don’t know about?”
Tanner’s eyes widened in surprise, but he laughed at her comment. “I think she would object to ‘elderly. ’ She says eighty is the new thirty.”
“I didn’t know you were into cougars. Actually, I think eighty might be too old to be called a cougar. Maybe saber-toothed tiger? They are prehistoric, aren’t they?”
He grinned at her and then looked to Wylie, who had come up behind them. “She’s gotten sassy with her new
haircut and a little mean. I like it.”
“Sampson lost all his power when his hair was cut. She gained more with hers.”
“I’ll say.” He picked Teo up and lifted him till he was at eye level, which she had seen him do before. “Hello, sir. How are you today?”
“I went to T-ball this morning. My coach is a girl. I had to tell Miss Cass that it’s okay for girls to be coaches too. You can come to T-ball next Saturday if you want. It’s man time.”
“Teo . . . ,” his uncle began, “I don’t think—”
“I’ll come. I’ll bring the beers.”
“You can’t drink beer there,” Teo scolded.
“Oh, all right. I guess I’ll still come.” Tanner put him down with a ruffle to his hair. “Come inside, guys. I know of some cars I think you’ll want to take a look at.”
They stepped inside to see the interior of Tanner’s house, which was as lovely as the outside. It was beautifully decorated and elegant, yet it felt warm and homey. It didn’t seem like the home of a single man in his thirties “Tanner, I was just joking about the sugar mama, but do you really have one? Or are you rich? This place is truly beautiful.”
“I’m not rich. I just know someone who is and they are letting me have the place while I work here.”
“You’ve been here for a year, right? Don’t the owners ever want to use their house? It’s so lovely. I mean it’s very nice of them to let you use it, but they must miss it.”
Tanner frowned as if he disapproved. “They have others. Trust me. They’ve only been here a handful of times. Plus I’ve done plenty for them to earn staying here.”
“Oh.” It seemed that she had touched a nerve. There was a lot to Tanner she didn’t know, but then again there was a lot to the men she loved that she didn’t know either. “I wished you would have lied to me and told me you were rich. If you knew how to make bacon bowls, I would have moved right in here with you.”
“‘Bacon bowls’?” He frowned again.
“Don’t mind her,” Wylie said as he kissed her beneath her ear twice. “She’s in a weird mood today.”
She was. The whole morning she felt punchy and jumpy, like she couldn’t settle in her own skin. It was why she’d cleaned the kitchen and scrubbed the oven. She had been left alone too long with her thoughts. And besides the usual ones of Wylie and Terrance, another troubling one kept popping into her head.
What are you going to do with the rest of your life?
She didn’t know. She had no idea where life was going to take her next week, and she was okay with that for now, but she wasn’t sure if she was going to be okay with that forever.
“Uncle Wylie,” Teo called to him as he tugged on his hand. “I have to go to the bathroom.”
“It’s down the hall, on the right.” Tanner motioned with his thumb. “I’m going to show Cass the listings.” He brought his laptop over to the couch, inviting her to sit with a motion of his head. “So you and Wylie,” he said softly, “I knew he was crazy about you, but it seems like you two are”—he struggled for a word—“closer.”
He was asking if they were a couple and she didn’t have an answer for that. Ten years ago he was so hell-bent at hiding them from the world, and then he walked out on her without an explanation. However, that was ten years ago and so much had changed.
“Thank you for helping Wylie make that beautiful room for me. We enjoy sleeping in it.”
“He’s happier now,” he said, glancing at the hallway that Wylie and Teo had disappeared through. “He’s always been a good guy, but he’s smiling a lot more recently. He’s alive now. I know that the thing that brought you here was horrible and tragic, and that you came here to heal, but you’re helping him too. I think you’re good for him.”
“Thank you.” She didn’t know what else to say to that. Wylie did need to be loved. He did need to be taken care of. He was human. Needing people was human.
“These are some solid cars,” he said, returning his attention to the computer. “This Volvo only has thirteen thousand miles. And here’s a Subaru that’s really good in bad weather.”
“I had a Volvo in Connecticut. I don’t want something dependable and reliable. I want something fun and red. Teo said I should get a red car.”
“You want a fun red car?” His grin turned devilish. “I think I got something for you right here.”
“You do?”
“‘You do’ what?” Wylie walked back into the room, with Teo just ahead of him.
“I’ve got the perfect car for Cass in the garage.”
They followed him through the house to the garage, where they found that it wasn’t just a garage but a workshop, with every tool imaginable hanging neatly on the walls.
“Whoa,” Teo said as he looked around.
“Best part of the house,” Tanner agreed as he looked around the space with a smile. “There’s your car, Cassandra.”
She set her eyes on a vintage Camaro convertible in cherry red. She never had a fancy car or anything in a flashy color. Immediately thoughts of Terrance floated into her mind. Her next car was supposed to be a minivan—the safest one out there, with the best gas mileage, in the color gray.
“I’ll take it,” she said as she walked over to it, running her hands along the shiny body.
“What? Cass, I thought we were going to a car dealer.”
“We don’t have to.” She looked at Teo. “What do you think?”
“You have to drive it first,” he said sensibly. “That’s what people do when they buy cars.”
“You’re right.” She looked over at Tanner. “I still want it.”
Wylie shot him a look, but he said nothing.
“Don’t you want to know more about it? It’s a 1969 Camaro convertible. I got it from a guy in Vineyard Haven whose wife was making him get rid of it. It took me almost eight months to fix it up. It’s a muscle car, and it’s got a lot of power, but it purrs like a kitten.”
Cass opened the door and sat in the driver’s seat, stroking her hands along the smooth steering wheel, feeling excited about finally choosing what she wanted. “How much do you want for it?”
“Give me a hundred bucks.”
“What? No.” She shook her head as she looked at all the work he must have put into it. “It’s worth way more than that.”
“It is, but consider it a rental fee. Use it as long as you want while you’re here, and if you still want it at the end of two months, I’ll sell it to you.”
“Terrance would have never let me have this. He would have said it’s foolish and impractical and dangerous. Not for a lady like me.” She looked at Wylie, whose expression was unreadable. “Why aren’t you saying anything?”
“You’re an adult. You can make your own decisions, and if this car is something that you really want, you should have it. But if you want to know my opinion about this car, I would tell you that I would have been on the same page with Terrance and would rather see you in an armored car than a steel trap that will crumble like an aluminum can when it’s hit. I would rather see you in a car that’s good in the snow and rain. I would rather you drive anything but this. But if it’s what you want, then I think you should definitely get it.”
She looked at his stern face and felt that familiar pang she felt whenever she looked at him lately. Was it love? It couldn’t be. She had loved him since she was thirteen. She was in love with him since she was eighteen years old. This was something else she was feeling.
She left the car and hugged him around his middle. “Where can I get some fuzzy dice around here?”
He cracked a smile. “We’ll find you some. Come on. Let’s go eat lunch.”
* * *
“Nova, come out here!”
Wylie watched Cass yell excitedly as she threw her new car into park. He hated the idea of her driving around in that old muscle car, but when he saw how her face lit up as she was getting into it, he couldn’t say anything to dissuade her. Not that he had any right to do so.
He wasn’t her husband. Getting the car wasn’t their decision. It was hers alone.
But she was living with him, sharing his bed. She had become a part of his life, a part of his thoughts and plans and routines. And if she left . . . He didn’t want to think about what his life would be like with her gone.
He would go in and meet other people and have good times. But he would feel empty, be empty, like something vital to him was missing.
“Nova!” Cass called again, this time honking the horn and fairly vibrating in her seat. “Come see what I got!”
Wylie pulled his eyes away from Cass and looked over to Tanner, who had driven with him. “See what you did? She’s more hyper than Teo.”
“What was I supposed to do, man? Did you see her face when she saw the car? It was like forty-five Christmas mornings fell in her lap.” He looked out the window at Cass and to Nova, who finally came out of her house. “She was so sad when she came here. I like seeing her happy, and if letting her drive the car around for a few weeks will make her happy . . .” He shrugged his shoulders. “It’s not a big thing.”
“She hasn’t driven in months. She hasn’t left the house alone. Before I went to get her, she wouldn’t even get out of bed. She’s come so far, but I’m scared for her because I know what it’s like. I know what it’s like to hear a sound that takes you back to that day.”
“Or smell a smell that brings up a memory so strong you want to curl up in a ball and cry.”
He stared at Tanner’s profile as the other man looked out the window. He knew Tanner had nasty scars on his chest, but he never shared what had happened. He just showed up one day and offered his experience. “What happened to you? I don’t think we’ve ever talked about why you got out.”
“You want to know my war story?” He shook his head and grinned. “I need to tell that story over a couple of strong drinks.” He opened the door and stepped out. “I wouldn’t worry about Cass with the car though. She drives like my grandma.”
He nodded as he got out of the car. Teo had driven over with Cass, and Wylie knew that she was extra careful as they made the short trip to Nova’s place because of Teo.