Her face softened when she saw him.
“Thank you for bringing her home.”
I turned to glare at him.
“What the fuck?” I mouthed. I thought he had smoothed everything over. He never even looked my way as he made his way to the stairs.
“I found her and her boyfriend at a hotel in Tampa. I just parked her car in the garage. She left it unlocked in the parking lot of the park with no regard.” He told that lie without blinking, then disappeared upstairs, leaving me at the mercy of my very angry mother.
My mouth dropped open. It dawned on me in that very moment what he was doing. He was forcing my hand. I could face Momma’s wrath alone or I could say I was with him the entire time. Naturally, she’d ask what I was doing with him, he’d probably chime in and tell her the rest.
Motherfucker, the curse slipped.
Momma really went off then. Her face was twisted in rage.
“Your fast ass not going to end up pregnant under my fucking roof.” She reached out and smacked me right upside my head. It took everything in me not to hit her back. I just stood there holding my cheek, trying my best not to cry, thinking about what a manipulative asshole King was.
The only thing that saved me from more of her physical and verbal abuse was her phone ringing. She dismissed me before answering.
“Take your fat ass upstairs and you better not darken this fucking door for a month. Tell that lil’ motherfucker you spent the week with if you come up pregnant, he’s going to pay for the abortion.”
She was still yelling as I stumbled up the stairs in a state of disbelief. King was waiting for me, leaning against my bedroom door. I could feel steam coming out of my ears. I shoved past him and walked into my room.
He grabbed me, holding my arm so I was forced to turn to face him. I snatched away, then faced him.
I was so mad. I clenched and unclenched my fists. Anger had me ready to swing at him and he knew it. His eyes narrowed in warning though his tone was normal when he said, “You should have just told her. This is why I said you act like a child. You’re eighteen and you’re letting her ground you?”
His eyebrow quirked.
“I fucking hate you,” I snapped in rage, wishing it was true.
Malevolence flashed in his eyes. He flipped out. His hand flew out and enclosed around my neck, cutting off my air supply. I didn’t process what was going on until I was already against my bedroom wall. I had to stand on my tippy toes to keep myself grounded. His hold was not sexual. There was no tingle.
The shock of what was happening had my heart beating like a bass drum. Instinct kept me from attempting to fight him. I went limp, hoping my submission placated him and he’d let go.
“Say that shit again. Say you hate me again.” He sneered, right in my face and shook me.
How in the fuck am I going to say anything when you’re fucking killing me? I thought bitterly. I shook my head no and his grip loosened, his eyes softened. He let me go all at once. I gasped for air. He stepped away.
“You shouldn’t have said that.” His voice was soft, but his stance was tense. “You can’t say stuff like that to me, Eden.” He bent and leaned in, then his lips gently caressed my forehead.
This motherfucker is crazy, was my next thought. The drugs just probably amplified whatever the fuck was wrong with him, but fundamentally he was crazy.
I took deep breaths to calm myself.
“Get out, King.” I said when I finally managed to find my voice.
He ran his hand through his hair. And narrowed his eyes.
“So, you’re mad now? You’re done with me now?”
I could hear it in his tone. He was working himself back into a frenzy.
I softened my voice. “No. I’m just tired.”
“Oh, okay. Goodnight, Eden.” He conceded too easily and the smile he gave me looked maniacal. I knew he was up to something.
He left the room without another word.
It took me a while to get myself together.
I learned that night that he could get into my locked room. I woke with him pressed into me. He whispered against my hair. “No more freak outs and no more drugs, Eden. I don’t ever want you to look at me like you did earlier.” He smoothed down my hair then kissed the back of my head. I wanted to ask, “Is that supposed to make me feel better?” But I was too tired, mentally and physically. I closed my eyes to go back to sleep. Out of the blue he asked “What is it that you’re going to school for Eden? “It was a weird time to ask. It was also the first time he had asked me anything about my future. That should have set off all types of alarms. We’d talked about everything, but what I would do when I left for school.
“I want to be a civil rights lawyer.” I answered.
He hummed deep in his throat. “My own personal defense attorney. I’m a fuck up so I’m bound to need one,” he chuckled
“When I was young and imagined being a lawyer, I didn’t exactly have defending white men, who are actual criminals in mind,” I half joked.
He chuckled. “You have a smart mouth, little girl.”
“You like my mouth though, don’t you?” I reached down and grabbed the hand he had laid on my thigh and brought it my mouth, I circled the tip of one of his fingers with my tongue. He groaned while snatching his hand away.
“Stop playing around before I fuck you.” My body heated at the thought, but I could hear my mother downstairs laughing.
“None of this means I’m not still angry for the stunt you pulled.”
“I know,” he said. “I just get so jealous thinking of you wanting Ken doll or any other man like you do me and it makes me crazy. But I’ll make it up to you.”
“I should have never involved your mother. I didn’t think she would actually hit you.”
I rolled my eyes. I wanted to say more, I wasn’t about to trigger his ass again.
We both got quiet after that. My eyes got heavy. He pulled me closer and I rested against, feeling safe and secure.
Just like that, I’d forgiven him. No apology, no groveling. I was my own worst enemy when it came to King.
Just before dozing off to sleep I remembered something he’d said earlier.
“What was your dream about?” I asked.
He smoothed down my hair again before answering.
“Our wedding day. The birth of our child. I saw her. She looked just like you, but with my eyes.”
I was stunned speechless. How was I going to tell him that I was leaving after he’d told me something like that? Better yet, how was I going to leave when just the thought of being married to him and having his child made my heart feel full?
***
The next day when I woke up, he was gone. I didn’t see him for another week, but while he was away, I got a call from Spellman. They let me know all my expenses had been paid for the year. I immediately knew King had done it. I guess that was his way of apologizing, at least that’s how I took it. He had made it so I wouldn’t have to depend on Ellis either. Everything was right as rain between us when he came back, until the next incident.
Eden: It All Falls Down.
Present
“It all crumbled after that, like a house of cards.” His voice brought me back to the present. He shut his eyes and ran a hand over his jaw and sighed.
I nodded my head in agreeance. “It really did.” The only good that came from all the chaos was King getting sober. He stopped drinking and doing drugs cold turkey, for a while.
“We were doomed from the beginning.” I pushed myself on you when you didn’t want me. Maybe that’s why.”
“I wish I had a cigarette,” he muttered before he ran his hand through his hair, then leaned further into his chair. He looked like he had something to say so I waited.
“I always wanted you. Eden. From the very first moment I saw you. It was like a punch to the fucking gut. But you were so young, so I stayed away. I should have continued to stay away, but I couldn’t resist you. It came to a poin
t where I just wanted to be around you all the time. Then that night happened, when I found you in my bed. I felt like I no longer had a choice. If I could take it back I would. We’d both be in better places.”
I scrutinized the many emotions that flickered across his face.
I laughed. “Would you take it back?” I asked, doubting he would.
He narrowed his eyes in my direction, before answering. “No. Would you have wanted me to stay away?” He reached up and rubbed the back of his neck like the question made him nervous.
I thought about it. I shook my head no. Even with all that happened I wouldn’t have wanted him to. Being with King was exhilarating. It was like a shot of adrenaline straight to the heart.
Silence accompanied us as we sat. He broke through it.
“Why are you back here, Eden? You never liked being in this house.”
I heard the unspoken question in his question. Our eyes connected.
“I didn’t come back for you, King. I didn’t even know you were getting out until I had been here a few days.”
He nodded. His face was unreadable.
“What happened, with your hus—” He started to say husband but paused. “What happened with Ellis to bring you back here?” He spit his name out like it tasted sour in his mouth.
I dropped my head back onto the pillows and told him.
“Ellis’ parents wanted a baby. We tried for two years. When I couldn’t get pregnant, he blamed me. Two weeks ago, I went to the doctor to be checked. I found out a few days ago I wasn’t the one with the problem. He blacked out and-.” Mid-sentence I stopped, realizing what I had done way too late. I scolded myself for forgetting.
I sat up abruptly, my eyes landed on King. I could feel his anger, like ants crawling over my skin. If looks could kill I would have dropped dead.
“You tried to give him a child, after killing mine?” King’s tone chilled me. He looked as if he was on the brink of becoming unhinged.
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.” I wanted to explain myself to him. But Momma’s car horn blew outside. Both our eyes flew in the direction of the window.
Saved by the proverbial bell.
We both knew the blowing of the horn was my momma signaling that she needed help with the groceries.
King stood abruptly, knocking over the chair he had been sitting in. He took one single step in my direction. I shrugged away, drawing myself up against the headboard. He stopped, cracked his neck then turned and headed towards the door. The sound of his fist hitting the wall next to it as he exited reverberated throughout my room, causing me to jump. It took forever for my heart to slow.
I heard Momma call my name, but I ignored her. I got up, closed the door and locked it. I crawled back in bed and cried.
King: Drinking Poison Hoping She Dies
Present
After helping Ruth with the groceries, I made my way back to Eden’s room. We needed to talk. I was wrong for the way I’d reacted to hearing her news, but fuck it. Despite what she thought, I was human. I had feelings. Finding out she had killed my child had been the single most painful moment in my life. Some nights I still dreamt about the little girl that was supposed to be ours.
Standing at her door, I stopped short of knocking. She was crying, sobbing. I don’t know how long I stood at that bedroom door listening to her before I couldn’t take it anymore. I turned and walked away. I felt like shit knowing I was the cause of her tears. I had to ask myself if my anger was justified. I groaned into my hands as I made my way back to my room. I had a lot of thinking to do.
Eden: The Day I Died.
Past
King slammed into my room. His nose flared. His skin was bright red, even the tips of his ears. The look in his dark eye chilled me.
I knew he knew. Momma probably told him and his father as soon as she’d made her way downstairs. She was the last person I wanted to know, but when I passed out in class, they called her since she was my emergency contact. I was unconscious when she arrived. She’d had to sign off on my d & c. The abortion I’d had two weeks before hadn’t been done correctly and I’d gotten an infection.
When I woke up, she’d been standing over me. The first thing out of her mouth wasn’t, “Are you okay?” It was. “You happy now, that you almost fucked up your life. I knew you weren’t as innocent as you made out.” Her eyes shone bright like she was giddy. She’d been waiting for me to make a mistake. I knew she would tell everybody. When I wouldn’t tell her who the father was, she assumed that I didn’t know. I knew she would also tell that. So, I wasn’t surprised to see King. I had prepared myself mentally for it.
Besides, I was in too much pain to care about his anger and the meds I’d been given had me too out of it to feel truly afraid.
He glared at me. “Was it mine?” He started out yelling, but quickly lowered his tone. Our parents were downstairs somewhere.
He knew the answer.
One tear dropped from my eye then another.
“I couldn’t have that baby. I’m nineteen, a freshman in college. I have no money. I can’t—”
He cut me off. “I would have taken care of you and them. You didn’t even have the decency to tell me.”
I bit my tongue to keep my words from spilling out. I didn’t want to depend on him. I didn’t want to have children at all when I couldn’t take care of them myself. King’s lifestyle was dangerous, he’d end up in jail or dead. I didn’t want a child to grow up like me, without a father, searching in all the wrong places for attention.
My father had abandoned my mother and me. His actions had led me to King. And though I loved him with everything in me, I wouldn’t wish someone like him on my child. I couldn’t do it. I didn’t tell him because I didn’t want him to talk me out of what I needed to do.
I had already given up attending my dream college for him. He’d begged me not to move to Georgia and like a fool I’d given in. I felt so stupid, because I knew he would do it months before it happened.
He made his way over to the bed, leaned over, gripped my hair and dragged me up onto my knees so we were eye to eye. It felt like he would pull my hair from the roots. But I gritted my teeth and bared it. His rage was palpable and stifling I didn’t want to make it worse. Wiping tears from my cheek I stared back at him.
“I should kill you like you did my child,” he snarled at me.
I knew he wouldn’t. That would be too easy.
“From this moment on, you’re dead to me. Don’t speak to me. Don’t fucking look at me.” He gripped my chin, his nails dug into my skin. He searched my eyes. I could see that he was dying inside and needed me to say something to explain it all away. He wanted me to tell him pretty lies. Maybe say I had a miscarriage; he would pretend to believe it. But I refused.
His lips flattened out. My heart quickened. I knew he could see that I didn’t regret what I’d done. He thought him screaming and raging would make me beg for his forgiveness, beg him to give me another baby. After all the things King had done to me, he’d never begged me. I wouldn’t beg him. If he forgave me, it would be on his own volition.
His grip on my hair tightened until I whimpered. “I can’t hurt you without hurting myself. But I know Pretty Boy helped you,” he stated quietly then his voice rose. “Tell him if we cross paths it’ll be his last moment he has breath in his lungs.”
He was right. Ellis had helped me because I’d asked him to. He’d paid for the abortion and drove me to the appointment. I felt like shit because I had to ask him. If I would have just chosen Ellis and went to school, I would have never needed an abortion. I could tell he was thinking it but was too nice to say it.
I wasn’t worried about King hurting him. As soon as Spring Break ended, Ellis had returned to school. I fucking envied him so much. He got to leave all his troubles behind.
King shoved me so hard my head flew back and cracked against the headboard. Then he punched the spot right next to it causing my ears to ring. He glared at me a final time
before storming out of my room.
I thought that was the end of King and me. I thought he was going to start avoiding me and staying away again and I was relieved. He was everything he said he would be. He drained me. He hurt me continuously, yet I couldn’t pull away. I needed him to.
But he didn’t go away. He pretty much moved back home and started parading each girl he fucked through the house when our parents weren’t home. It hurt watching and hearing him with other girls, but it was what I needed to get back on track. I stayed out of his way as much as possible and thankfully he stayed out of mine.
Ellis returned for summer break. He became my ally, my confidant. I told him everything, except about my true relationship with King, back then he thought I got pregnant by some random and that King was being an overprotective brother at my mother’s request.
I had snuck around with Ellis for a few months, just as friends, before King found out about us.
Ellis had invited me to breakfast, and it was just my luck that King walked in with his new redhead. I would find out later that she wasn’t new. King freaked out, tried to drag me kicking and screaming from the diner. Ellis stepped in. A physical altercation ensued. Just shoving and pushing before the police were called.
King left with his redhead who had spent the entire time King and Ellis fought, glaring at me. I’d meet her formally later and find out King had been living a double life.
Eden: Still in Love?
Present
“Eden,” King called my name waking me up. My eyes fluttered open. The room was pitch black which meant I had been asleep for hours, since it had been around noon when I’d fallen asleep.
The bed dipped. King slid in behind me. His body was so warm and regardless of what had happened between us I felt safe in his arms. I wanted to lay my head on his chest and fall back asleep but instead, I mentally prepared myself for whatever punishment he thought of without a fight. I tensed up.
King: Darker Than Romance Page 8