by S. Ann Cole
“Did y-you..you…?” I couldn’t say it.
“You truly don’t know me radically. I just told you how I was raised as a child. I’m not a murderer, Sadie. I can’t give life, so who am I to take someone’s life? A lovesick puppy? Yes, that I was. A stalker? Yes, that I was. But a murderer? That I am not. And even if I was a murderer, do you think I would’ve waited all those years to switch the Italian asshole’s lights off?” He turned his arctic blues at me. “You really think I’d do something like that?”
“No,” I replied in all veraciousness.
“Then why the hell would you ask me that?” he snapped.
I don’t know. Maybe because you’d threatened to do so? Bloodied him up when I left? Pardon my unprovoked curiosity, Mister.
“I was more of a shoulder for Cali D. Whenever he got himself in a shithole, I’d be the one to bail his ass out. For your sake. He’d thought you to be a family member of mine, so he made use of his advantages.” Natalio strode over to the kitchen, grabbed a bottled water from the fridge and downed it. “Cali D messed up big time with some Cubans. And these men didn’t give a shit, neither did I. I made myself unavailable to him because I was tired of bailing him. I just requested assurance of your safety. But somehow you’d come to your senses and left him. For good. Or so it seemed. It was the longest you stayed away. The Cubans had assured me they wouldn’t hurt you, but then those guys couldn’t be trusted.”
Natalio righted the barstool that he’d previously kicked over and seated himself on it. “I’d run into you deliberately on many occasions. Even spoke to you. But you were unresponsive. You just didn’t remember me.” He turned and lanced me with cold, disapproving eyes. “I was in Chicago when I heard you’d lost your job at the Bistro and had taken up pole dancing at ‘Secre X’. What in God’s name were you thinking?”
His stare was so acerbic I withered at its penetration and duck my head in remorse and mortification.
Natalio shook his head and sighed heavily. “I decided then that I couldn’t stay away any longer and allow you to destroy yourself. You are so smart and talented…” He sighed again. “I told Tico to keep eye on you and to restrict you from stripping or dancing with anyone. I was desperate to get you out of that club.”
What the hell? So people just do what he tells them to?
It’s as if I was oblivion personified while everything and everyone played around me. To this man’s command. He seemed disgusted at his father’s domineering, high-handed ways, but did he fail to see that he was just the same? Did he think that I belonged to him in every way that he was justified in all his actions? Watching my every move for years and telling everyone around me what to do or what not to do?
Controlling was too mild a word to describe him.
Mind overloaded, I could only stare at him because there was so much information being cascaded upon my head, I didn’t know what to talk about first. Or how I was supposed to feel.
I sought fortification in a long gulp of wine, got up from around the table and sidled over to the breakfast bar to sit next to him. Natalio eyed me warily.
At random, I picked one of the many questions that were floating around in my head. “If you were brought up in such a righteous, polished family, how did you end up on the wrong side of town? With the wrong crowed, the wrong friends, the wrong…girl?”
Natalio stared at me impregnably for a moment and I was hoping he’d say I was never the wrong girl. Please say it. “My brother, Trevillo, had just expanded to constructing tower lofts. This building here was his first. I was interested and somehow convinced him to let me invest. Trevillo doesn’t do partnerships, but I possess a sharp ability of persuasion. So I used to fly in on the weekends, extending my knowledge about the real estate business.
“One day, there was a commotion on site. I rushed out to see Trevillo pummeling some dude’s face. When I inquired he said he continuously came on his site introducing weed to his workers or some crap like that. In short, the dude was Darren. And he was the brother of one of the construction workers. After pulling my murderous brother away from him,” Natalio laughed, “and seeing his battered condition, I offered to drop him home. And somehow, Darren and I kicked it off. He was real cool. So whenever I was here on the weekends I would hang out in his neighborhood. I liked it there. It was different. Lively. Something new that I’ve never known. Plus I got a thrill at living dangerously, life on the edge.” Natalio pinned me with his gaze. “Most of all, there was this nymph that’d hooked me by the gills. I caught sight of her as she walked home from school one Friday evening. Her expression was sullen, but still, she glowed. Her hair was an abundance of long, untamed curls, undulating down the length of her back. Her waist was slim, her hips curved out, her legs were long, clean and smooth. Wholly, her shape, form, beauty, everything about her was capturing, reeling me in like a fish on bait. And I watched her, unblinking, breath-snatched, heart-pounding, until she disappeared into her house. Since then, I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her. She’d taken over every crease of my mind, every bit of my heart, atriums, ventricles, arteries, down to the very depths of my soul. I dreamed of her. Of only her. And I told myself that I had to have her. Whatever it took, anything, I just had to have her.”
My eyes watered and Natalio tore his gaze away and cleared his throat. “Anyway, that’s how I got tangled in all that bullshit. Incidentally, righteous is not the word to describe my family. We are anything but. Wrong in so many ways. Pretentious is a more suitable word.”
I blinked rapidly, willing my tears to recede. “So have you any info on Darren and Larry?”
Natalio chuckled. “Oh, they’re good. Really good. Though, Larry had lost a leg in the car crash that night. Their false testimonies of kidnapping me didn’t come cheap. My father had made a deal to grant them a couple of mils when they got out. They both got ten years but did less than half of that.”
“You still talk with them?”
“Yes. Why wouldn’t I? The guys bit the bullet for me.”
I swallowed. “So do you still deal with cliques and all that bad stuff?” I wanted to tell him about what happened at Tevin’s place but chose not to bring that up right now. There had been so much shit rolled out tonight, I didn’t think my brain could take anymore. The elephant that was butchered from the room was a freaking Siamese twin.
“Can a man scoop a flame into his lap and not have his clothes catch on fire? Can he walk on hot coals and not blister his feet?”
What is it with him and bible verses?
“No,” he said in answer to my question. “But I’m not tamed. Nelly is still Nelly.”
He donned that familiar smugness. The same one he wore when I knew him as Nelly. Well, he is Nelly.
Another question: “That night, when I went in search for you, the boys said really awful stuff. Especially Travis. That you couldn’t stay away from Tanya’s bed and all that. When I came out of the hospital, there were a lot of rumors that you’d knocked up Tanya and two other girls. Is it true?”
Natalio laughed and wagged his head. “Like I’d told you time and time again back then, when you’d always be abusing me with your over-impulsive tantrums, I’ve never slept with Tanya. Ever. Want me to tell you a secret?”
I nodded.
“It’s Darren who was sleeping with her, even though she was furtively trying to get with me. He knocked her up and they are married now. Happily. The rooftop restaurant I’d taken you to after your interview, it’s theirs.”
What? This is news.
“And as for Travis.” His jaw ticked and tension radiated. “Travis never hated you. He was in love with you. All this was uncovered after the cataclysm and everything that followed that night. The boys came forward and informed me that it was Travis who’d set us up that night.”
Travis was in love with me? I found that very, very hard to believe. It’s almost laughable.
“Apparently, he’d always liked you but was too much of a wuss to make a move.
Then I came along and that ticked him off. The boys said he’d planned for the men to cripple Darren and me so he could take lead of the clique, and then he’d get to have you.”
Natalio nodded at my ghastly expression, assuring me that it was so. He reached out a hand, brushed it gently along my cheek, and ran his thumb across my lower lip. My body responded instantly with a throbbing ache between my legs. “So to put it simply, Sadie, you’re the cause of all that happened.” His darkened stare bore into my eyes and my breathing hastened, my lips quivering as he leaned into me. I closed my eyes and waited in desperation for his lips to touch mine. His breath was hot against my lips as he whispered, “So maybe you’re right. Maybe you were the wrong girl.”
And with that, he rose from his barstool and walked away from me.
Chapter Twenty One
Bereft and rebuffed, my eyes flicked open. My lips parted to speak, but only hot, ragged air escaped.
Natalio strutted over to the dinner table and started clearing the wine glasses. “It’s late, Sadie. You said you wanted to know what happened and I’ve told you more than I’d planned on. Moore will take you home.”
Tears burned my eyes as I watched him superfluously busied himself, emptying the glasses and tossing them in the dishwasher. Why was he being so mean? He still wanted me; it was unconcealed, evident, flashing refulgently in his eyes. So why was he purposely trying to wound me? Did he want me to beg him to stay with me?
One side of me was ready and willing to do so. But pride won over. With all my heart, I loved him, but I wouldn’t beg him anymore. Who the hell did he think he was? We both got hurt that night. He in more ways than me, I agree. Now that I know truth, I could finally understand and move on from it. But with a sad note, it’s clear that we’d be moving on separately, because he had given up when I was ready to try.
Squaring my shoulders, I stood from the barstool, trying with great effort to keep my tears at bay. Without a word, I sauntered towards the elevator then pressed the call button. The elevator just wouldn’t respond quickly enough and my tears threatened, the sluice gates rattling, about to burst open at any minute.
Before I knew what was happening, large hands gripped me by the shoulders, flipped me around, then crushed me up against the wall. Natalio pinned me from shoulder to thigh with the length of his body, his eyes glazed, his breathing harsh. My heart floundered; I was both scared and aroused. I wanted him so bad and I think I’d allow him to hurt me, too—if that’s what his intentions were at that moment.
Silly you, Sadie.
Oh shut up, unknown voice! I love him.
“Did. You. Ever. Love. Me?” he breathed, each word a staccato.
Nonplussed, I stared at him. He must be the most intricate man on the planet.
“Answer me, dammit!” he barked.
“Yes,” I whispered. “I love you. Always have and always will.”
“Yet you don’t think I’m worth fighting for?” he asked, his eyes searching mine.
“I-I—” Oh god, what was I trying to say? It’s true, I gave up too easily, but that’s because I don’t handle rejections well. Now he was making me feel terrible.
There was a way to play this game, however. To take the guilt off me. Because I didn’t do too well with guilt. So here goes a question I already knew the answer to. “Did you sleep with her?”
Natalio stilled. “Her, who?”
“Your assistant, Tiffany.”
His hands fell away from me. “Why would you ask me that?”
“Because I want to know.”
He ran a hand through his loose dark hair. “Why?”
Seems to be working…”Because I want to know!” I shouted.
He turned on his heels and strode off.
I followed him. “So you did, then?”
Natalio unbuttoned his shirt, shrugged out of it, and tossed it on the sofa. That momentarily sidetracked me. “What did you expect me to do? Sit around moping? Hoping that one day you’ll wake up and realize that you want me? You left me, Sadie. Repelled me. You wanted me to stay away from you so I did and moved on—well, I tried to.”
“Didn’t take you long,” I said in a mild tone. A tone too temperate. I was supposed to be pretending I was jealous-girlfriend angry, but I just couldn’t pull my eyes away from his pecs. Damn, the man surpassed the definition of sexy. Did he remove his shirt intentionally, knowing it would distract me?
“Oh, it took me seven years. How much longer than that should it take someone to try and move on?”
“You didn’t—”
“I’m a man, Sadie. That’s what men do when they’re heart-broken. They seek solace in booze or faceless orgasms.”
“Well, don’t let me stop you then,” I said with a lifted brow. “Carry on!”
Gathering my wits that had briefly scattered by his shirt removal, I donned my angry mask and flounced off towards the elevator. In a millisecond, Natalio’s hands clasped me around my waist. Just the reaction I was hoping for.
I love it when he chases me. It makes me so…wet.
“Sadie, stop.” He kissed my hair. “It was nothing serious. The blond woman you were ranting about today, that’s Tiffany. I fired her.”
“Why?”
“Because she didn’t deliver your messages,” he said simply. “Sadie, can’t you see how brainsick, unhinged, frickin’ barmy you make me? I’m one big ball of fury and frustration without you. Since I lost you years ago, it’s like everything and everyone riles me. I’m calmed only by thoughts of you.” He spun me around in his arms to face him, his eyes raking all over me, then piercing me with an intense gaze. “Sadie, I love you so much, it just might be iniquitous. Please, don’t leave again. Let’s just start over.”
Of course, yes…
My arms locked around his neck and I pulled his lips down to mine. An enthusiast my tongue was, as it plunged into his warm mouth. How long I’ve longed for this. I’ve missed this. Missed him, his kiss, his touch, everything about him.
Natalio pressed me into him, slaking my desires with his. I cared about nothing else, could think about nothing else at the moment but him, his tongue tit tatting mine. Desire sprinted through my veins and I suddenly felt possessed. I wanted him, all of him. Now.
My kisses became feverish as I voraciously kissed him everywhere, face, ears, throat, while I stood on my tippy toes. “I want you,” I whimpered. “Now. Please.”
Natalio groaned and grasped my thighs, lifting me. And I reflexively wrapped my legs around his waist. Tongues knotted, passion flared, fire flamed between us as he walked into the living area with my body wrapped around his body like a Python sucking the air out of his lungs.
Natalio braced me against the floor-to-ceiling glass window that overlooked the city. Glitzy L.A lights twinkled below. We parted, gasping, refilling our lungs with air.
“If you only knew the things that went through my head today when I first saw you,” Natalio ragged. “Your hair, I’ve never seen you wear it like this before it. You are, hands down, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on, Sadie.” He gave me a swift kiss and said, “Sweet sins, I love you.” He kissed me again, pulling away before I could reciprocate. “Don’t you ever leave me.”
Again, his lips crashed down on mine again, and suddenly it’s like we were swept up into a vortex of lust. We both pawed and growled like two starving animals. My fingers lacing through his hair as he feasted on my heated, squirming body. Devouring my ears, my nose, my lips, my neck—oh, there he lingered. Using his hips to keep me steady against the glass, Natalio grasped the hem of my dress and pulled it over my head. One hand unhooked my bra, revealing my perked and aching breasts, while the other ran leisurely up my thigh.
The warmth of his tongue touched my nipple, evoking an ecstatic moan from me. The rigidity of his erection pressed against my sex, and orgasm threatened.
“No,” I mewled. Inside me was where I wanted him. I wanted to orgasm while he thrusts rigorously inside me.
He flexed his hips in a circular motion pushing me closer to the edge, whispering, “Yes.” Natalio brought his other hand up to my breast and grasped them both, kneading and tweaking my nipples, while he flexed his hips pressing his erection against my sex, pushing me up and onward. “Your breasts fit my hands so perfectly. You were made for me, Sadie.”
“Yes. For you. Only you.” I curled my toes in my shoes, willing myself not to climax at his torturous assault. “Please. I want…I want…” I could hardly think clear.
“What, Sadie? What do you want?” he said silkily.
“I want y-you. Inside me. P-P-Please.”
Natalio flexed back his hips and I was glad for the brief respite. Stealing a condom for his back pocket, he handed it to me then placed his hands flat on the glass, at either side of my head. “Help yourself.”
Shaking and burning with need, I fumbled with his belt buckle, his jeans button, unzipped and freed him. My tongue licked across my lips at the sight of his rock-hard, blood-filled, venous erection.
How good that would feel filling my mouth, hitting the back of my throat.
Not now. At this moment, I want it inside me. With impatient fingers, I opened the condom and covered him, all done under the intense, lust-filled gaze of Natalio.
I arched into him, letting him know that I was ready, but the tantalizing demon decided to torment me more. He slowly ran his tongue across my lips, showering me with soft feathery kisses, making me melt like fudge on a hot pavement. Natalio dug his fingers into the thin, lacy material of my panties and ripped it to shreds, leaving me bare and throbbing. He flexed in his hips and his shaft rubbed against my bud, causing me to mewl and claw at his chest. And he did it again and again and again.
“Please, Natalio!” I cried out.
But he ignored my plea and continued his torture. And just when I was about to fall over the edge, he stopped.
Oh Christ! This man…