by Elena Monroe
I watched her closely as she folded her arms in front of her body, trying to force herself to be angry instead of feeling as weak as I did for her. I planted one simple kiss on her neck.
“Enjoy your night, Little Lamb.”
Luna
N yx was insufferable. He came to Dorian’s game night just to make a point that he had parts of me under his spell still.
It was hard to break the kind of black magic of wanting someone you know you shouldn't.
I could smell his cologne, woody and sexual, making my mouth water. My body was betraying me just to keep him close enough to smell.
His ribs looked broken. How could they not be? The way the bruises spanned over his right side looked so painful I wanted to cry for him.
I didn't have the heart to admit it wasn't just my body betraying me, wanting what was bad for me, instead of the nice man downstairs.
Dorian didn't make me feel weak or wet the way Nyx did, just from hovering near me, and he knew that. He wanted me to admit it to myself, not really even him.
I was barely admitting to myself the dark side was there, never mind debuting it to the perfectly normal guy downstairs.
My mouth was open, but words failed me and nothing came out as he walked away.
Defend myself.
Say something honestly painful back.
Make up a lie that would make him feel as bad as Cotton Candy downstairs made me feel.
She was friendly and nice, yet I couldn't listen to her gush over Nyx anymore, so I escaped upstairs.
We both escaped upstairs.
I adjusted the bracelet on my wrist, making sure the moon phases were sitting perfectly. It was the most beautiful piece of jewelry I had ever seen, and I tried to not hold that against Dorian.
The butterfly wings fluttering on my neck from Nyx’s warm lips made me feel like melted butter. I tried to shake the feeling, but it was stuck to me still, even as I walked back into the room and Dorian was carrying a tall stack of games.
“The games have begun!”
Arianna mouthed “Are you okay?” towards me, and I gave her a small smile in return.
She earned the title of best friend this way. She could read right through me at all times. It made hiding anything impossible.
She was by my side in no time and dragging me by my elbow, as she pushed me to the kitchen, somewhere out of sight.
Arianna popped her head out, calling for Kate, who looked more than scared to take part in whatever was going on.
Didn’t blame her… the last time I took people off guard I killed someone.
I poured some homemade lemonade that I spent time making after work, just to impress Dorian’s friends, in a teal glass cup and continued pouting, because I could feel his warm lips on my neck.
I hated myself for enjoying it so much.
“Are you okay, Luna?” Kate asked me calmly, but I could see the alarm behind her eyes.
“I’m fine.”
Arianna snatched the glass from me. “You aren’t a good liar. Don’t pick up the habit now. Start talking.”
Jumping up to sit on the island next to me, I looked down, unsure of how to express the war zone in my head into actual words. “It’s Nyx…”
I didn’t even finish the sentence before Kate scoffed loudly. I didn’t need silent judgment when I had loud criticism.
“Seriously, Luna? You’re self-sabotaging. Dorian is a great guy. He let you invite all your friends to his game night. I mean, who does that?” Kate popped a hip, and I knew she felt like she was wasting my time.
“As I was saying… Nyx is suspicious of Dorian…”
Now Arianna was joining Kate with a sour face and strong opinions. “He’s jealous. He never treated you how you deserved. You aren’t a side piece or one night stand. You deserve to have someone proud to have you by their side.”
Says the two with no secrets or dilemmas between them and their books.
Kate and Austin were the perfect match, literally. She had done the research (astrology, numerology and even enneagram) to prove it.
No one was questioning their perfectness.
Bolton and Arianna were practically destiny and fate rolled up into an epic love story. He searched for her, no matter how far she got lost, with fierce dedication.
I didn’t possess anything even close with either of the men in my life.
No matter who I chose, not that I had much choice, I was still being dishonest.
The bad side of me cheered me on, pitting two men against each other, and I was giving up fighting the good fight anymore.
I was tired of being the good girl, when I was so much better at being bad.
My pout was purely decorating my lips like gloss did when I snapped up and said out loud, “Why do Cancers have to be so cancerous? I'm tired of fate deciding everything for me. It's time to put myself first.”
My first plan of action: Fight fire with fire.
I walked into the room with my lemonade and saw Cotton Candy (What in Hades is her name?) sitting comfortably on Nyx’s lap.
Even the good dying inside me cringed.
Walking over to Dorian setting up a deck of cards precisely, I poured him a glass and glanced over to see Nyx staring me down with fury.
He wanted me to embrace all I was, and he was going to regret that.
I sat on Dorian's lap playfully letting my fingers massage the back of his head, watching his hands deal the cards to everyone.
Looking at Nyx for a reaction wasn't necessary when I could feel his eyes watching my every move.
I was embracing the bad, and I didn't care if that meant hurting Nyx when he hurt me.
“So you work at Starbucks with Bolton, right?” I stared at Cotton Candy, refusing to voice her name—whatever it was.
“Yeah, I'm the assistant manager. He provides some comic relief with the quitting every week.”
Scanning the room, I realized game night was all my friends, and none of Dorian’s. A small smile spread on my lips at his gesture of putting this together just to meet my friends. Dorian wasn't just sweet; he was a cavity waiting to happen.
“Well, those are words I never thought I’d hear: ‘Bolton’ and ‘comic relief’ in one sentence. Have you known Nyx long?”
The girls were now looking at me like my focused interrogation was transparent and desperate. They were forcing me to perfect being even bad.
“No, not long. It's just casual. Have you and Dorian been dating long?”
Nyx responded before I could answer, “She liked my dick first. We’re all friends here. You can just say what you mean, babe.”
She looked comfortable in his lap, and it made me more angry that he’d bring her here just to hurt me.
Dorian spoke, “I have a better game. Two truths and one lie. Do you guys know it?”
My friends fell silent, but the name seemed straight forward, telling two truths and one lie. Everyone tossed their cards in the middle, and Dorian explained how we'd play.
He was feeding the bad side without knowing it.
Maybe he could love both.
Dorian’s hand trailed up my thigh under the table, and he whispered in my ear, just for me, “You gotta stop moving your ass like that... or we'll finish what you’re starting.”
I could feel my face flush instantly with his words. Dorian checked all the boxes: gorgeous, nice, talked dirty… and he put up with my friends.
So why couldn't I feel a fraction of what Nyx forced me to?
I shifted myself on his lap, trying to shake off the guy who wasn't mine and settle into Dorian. His hands clenched my thighs under the table, forcing me still on his lap. It became clear why, when I felt him jerk against my ass wanting more.
Looking back at Dorian, I saw his grey eyes looking even more stormy, sitting back and enjoying every minute of this.
“I’ll go first…” Dorian looked around me. “I've lived in Seattle my whole life. I’m a history buff. Luna is my first serious relations
hip.”
Our eyes locked, and I gave him a small smile. We hadn't talked about what we were yet. Declaring it in front of my friends seemed pretty serious, even if it was a lie that I was his first serious relationship.
He was mine too.
Caellum sat back, like this was going to be an easy game. “Luna is the lie. No offense, Luna.”
Dorian clapped at his skills and kissed my neck just under my ear. “Still half true. We're on our way. Who's next?”
Bolton, being competitive and having a compulsive need to be better than everyone else in the room, was chomping at the bit to go next.
He always was a great winner and an intolerable loser.
“Won't this be harder for you? You don't know us like we all know each other.”
“I can sniff out lies with my eyes closed.”
Dorian didn't know it, but he was spurring Bolton’s competitive side on.
Jasper clapped, loving the heat of battle at his heels. “You've got this, Bolton. Show him how big boys lie.”
I had to bite back laughter at Jasper. He was full of life at all times—never empty or full of the wrong personality.
My soul was jagged edges, and my heart was bleeding. You'd either get cut on my sharp edges or slip on the puddle of blood. Either way, I was hurting people.
Something I couldn't shake.
I watched his features settle into his typical superior expression. Dorian better be prepared to lose to my friends. That was one thing about gods: We didn’t take losing lightly.
“Okay, two truths and one lie…” As he paused, I think we all traded looks of how much Bolton would put on the line for a win. This circle had more secrets than we were willing to admit, even to each other.
He mulled over his response. “I would kill to protect Arianna.” Her head leaned against his shoulder, and everyone knew how truthful that was.
Dorian leaned further into me, wrapping his arms around my waist and listening closely, like he knew exactly what octave people lie in.
“Loyal. I respect that…” Dorian was accepting his first truth.
“I’ve had a threesome with Nyx. I’ve killed at least fourteen people.”
The table fell silent, with all of us searching for panic in each other, because none of those were lies.
Not one single one.
Kate muttered to herself, “Well, that got awkward. Great idea, Dorian.”
I felt his chest rise and fall as he choked on his laughter the same way I did earlier. “Those are all truths. Plot twist. Don’t leave me in a dark alleyway with you…” I watched his gaze stop on Nyx, and a smirk took over.
Dorian had a dark side too?
Shifting on his lap again, I was awakening the ache between my thighs—the ache screaming its love for boys with a dark side.
Dorian whispered into the shell of my ear, pushing my hair back over my shoulder. “I’m losing patience with all that friction.”
My dark side was shouting for him to come play with me when I saw Nyx’s fist balled up on top of the table and Cotton Candy straddling his one leg.
Adding more friction, careful to be subtle and make it look like I simply needed to read, just to watch Nyx not take his eyes off me. Dorian must have noticed too when he called his name to go next.
“I don’t play kid games.” Nyx was hard to read if you didn’t know him and even harder to understand once you did.
“Then make it more adult. We’re all old enough to handle your truths and lies.”
“I don’t play fair, homeboy.”
Dorian wasn’t focused on our friction anymore. He was focused on the friction between them now.
Nyx
D orian didn’t have friends; that much was obvious when we all arrived and there weren't any strangers.
Red flag.
Dorian suggested a game that forced us to share intimate details so he could witness everyone’s distinct differences between truths and lies.
Red flag.
Dorian cared more about the friction between us than the fire Luna was starting his lap.
Red flag.
There was so many fucking red flags I was becoming color blind—only seeing red.
He challenged me to make his kid’s game more adult, when really he was challenging me to hurt him with the truth.
It was all sitting there between the lines… and on his lap.
“I know what you’re hiding in the open, hoping no one puts the pieces together.” I stood up, leaving Cotton Candy to almost fall off my lap with no warning. I walked to the head of the table where Dorian was sitting with Luna still in his lap.
“I threaten you,” I said, as I leaned down with my palm flat on the surface of the table, and I whispered my next statement, only for him, “She’s worth the wait. I can still taste her… Now which is the lie, Dorian?” I patted his shoulder, just before I made my way to the front door.
I barely made it to my car before Luna shouted my name. Hot tears were running freely down her face. “Why are you ruining this for me?”
I yanked my door open and stood against the open door, “Ruining what, Luna? You wiggling your ass on his lap, hoping I react? Or him figuring us all out before we even know if we can trust him?”
The dark side of Luna wanted to let her hand collide with my face while my little lamb wanted to beg forgiveness for her sins.
Frozen, I watched her tears waterfall from her eyes, just before Kate planted herself in front of Luna in some sort of a protective stance. “I warned you, Nyx… Hurt her, and I’ll come for you.”
Hitting the top of my car with too much force, I watched the metal dent like it was aluminum.
There was no arguing with Kate, and even if there was, all I had to say was for Luna only.
I left Cotton Candy behind for them to clean up and drove to the edge of Seattle, where the water kisses the land.
A water sign who preferred fire above all else.
The gods and fate had a way of exploiting our weaknesses.
I leaned against the hood of my Firebird and flipped through the pages of Henry Jon’s journal—one we didn’t know about and had never seen, until now.
??
Henry Jon
1696
The years haven't been good to me. My cough is a steady hand, walking me place to place.
My faith is not shaken. This cough in my lungs was a motivation in my bones for revenge.
My new cloister happened to be the sweet nectarine of the brown liquid we brought back with us from our travels, no longer the church pews I was fond of.
The Cloth, named for my Rosalia and the scrap of fabric from her nightgown I found snagged against the oak, was absorbing every ounce of my efforts. Determined to find the Devil and his children, we rode to every surrounding town searching and warning.
Lester was a far ride, four suns and three moons, and we rode straight through, until we saw the sign on the edge of their land—the one room, pure white church, perched on a hill.
Closer to the one true God.
Ranger Charles had told Lester’s burgomaster, Eli, about our valiant efforts, and one week later the letter beckoned us.
His intentions weren't forthright. Rosalia’s death sprung forth senses that I had subdued, and I stood resolute in my faith. The stronger sense of protection was my gift from God in my mourning.
Lester was much larger than our home, and their faith was much more apparent to the naked eye.
Eli stood as tall as I, yet his face was deprived of a woman's touch or children of his own. We rode here for a fresh face and musket by his side drawn in haste.
Following my men, Eli led us to an earth bath, freshly dug without an eternity box I could see. I took a knee to gain a better look, when I saw the beast blending in with the dirt—the same beast Rosalia fed in the woods after sleep walking. The husk was missing when the end of my musket pushed into its flesh, and it shifted its head to fall away from me.
Eli’s contorted face
fell into anger when he told me he'd be honored to join our efforts to rid the world of the Devil’s tricks.
The Cloth grew that day, spreading across our land and feeding our faith. We weren't one man gutted by a too quick death anymore. We were men, holding a candle to the Devil and banishing him.
Henry Jon was busy after we stopped thinking of him at all. We weren't back to Olympus, back to the normally scheduled games the gods played and all of the offspring trying to stay out of it all.
We inherited their powers running gold under our skin, but not their passion for meddling.
Arianna found answers I hadn’t. I didn't know what I really expected to find in these old pages besides the words of a man hellbent on trusting his false faith.
Disregarding the truth in front of him just like I was.
I wasn't protecting Luna. Hell, I wasn't even truly mad at Dorian for existing.
I was in love with Luna.
For better or worse, dark or light, a match made in Hell or a divine intervention.
I love Luna.
Thumbing the pages, I almost expected to find a glossary and a page number to guide me to falling in love.
All was happening without permission from my heart. That shit was acting all on its own, kicking the rest of me around like I was invaluable without that organ in my chest.
Tossing the journal behind me, I watched the water ripple against the cement border.
Was there a way to extinguish the fire in your own heart? How was I supposed to love Luna?
My dad kidnapped my mom and forced her to rule the Underworld by his side. There was no forcing Luna into anything, not with the darkness awake and pissed off.
Arms wide and my head toward the sky, I cursed the only part of us that was left—the stars. Shouting to them, to no one, “You didn't tell me how to love someone! No one is here to tell me what to do with this shit!”
The stars remained silent, and the sky was still and beautiful. Hades was dead like the rest of them.
No one was answering.
I muttered to no one but myself, “That shit is going to turn the gold in my veins black and royalty into poverty.”
No one was going to show me the difference between feeling for someone and reciprocating feelings enough to be the person who fell for them.