by Elena Monroe
The anger I felt was so pure I was surprised I didn't kill him on the steps of the dining hall where we ate.
Untamed.
Unleashed.
I don't remember how I ended up straddling his legs or how many times I punched in his features before Bolton and Caellum pulled me off of him.
Everyone saw what crossing me looked like, and no one touched Luna again. No one asked her out; no one touched her accidentally; and no one looked in her direction with bad intentions. No one understood it, because all of our benefits were still hidden.
No one else had tested my limits again.
Until now.
Pulling up to the perfect fucking house with the perfect fucking fence, I starred at the lawn lights shining on the pillars. Perfect on the outside, but rotted away inside. I was going to make him match the inside.
“Stay here. Keep it running,” I barked to the air in front of me, but I knew Kate heard me.
I heard a door close behind me, and I glanced over my shoulder at Kate getting out of my still running car.
“Can you hear, or what?”
“You aren’t doing this alone. She’s my friend too.”
“We aren’t just friends..” The vowels gritted through my clenched jaw.
That same sympathetic stare looked me in the eyes, and it only made me more angry. It made me feel weak for loving something that truly didn’t belong to me.
Luna made all the shit I pushed down matter. She validated parts of me no one did, making me more human and less ambiguous. People didn’t see that, because I didn’t allow them to. What Luna did for me, and what I did for her, wasn’t anyone’s damn business.
It was ours.
“Who would have thought you’re really the knight in shining armor…” Kate walked ahead, mindful of the lights, and went around the house, like she already formulated a plan.
My anger was blinding me from even seeing two feet in front of me.
My blood was set to boil.
My muscles were so tense I felt them ripping off the bones.
My fists were so tight that I was willing them to hit everything, anything, in my path if it meant stopping the discomfort.
Kate waved me to the sliding doors on the back patio, the easiest thing to manipulate open—a dream really. I kneeled down, letting the butterfly knife spring out with a shifting sound, before I jammed the metal into the thin space between the wall and door.
With a feel, wiggles, and a strong pull, the sliding door opened for me. I wasn’t going to be quiet or tip toe the way Kate was trying to behind me. Him seeing me and running was going to make this fun.
Fun for me.
The lights were all off; pitch black flooded the rooms, except the front ones where the lawn lights made the curtains glow.
I knew where he would be, his precious office, among all his toys that hurt people like us.
Stalking up the stairs, I felt Kate’s hand tug the back of my shirt. She wasn’t scared; she practically rang his doorbell and begged to come with me to punish him. I was the only thing scaring her.
Lifting a hand in the air, I hoped she would understand to pause, but instead, she walked right into my back with a grunt. I stood outside his office for a moment, before I let my boot kick the already cracked door open.
The door opened slowly to Dorian entranced in whatever he was doing. He had stacks of books around him, like Caellum did most days, drowning in information, but not any answers he wanted.
He didn’t pull his eyes away from his books. “Luna, I said I’m busy right now.”
Just hearing him say her name made every ounce of patience in me evaporate into thin air. Closing the space between us, I ripped the book from his hands and tossed it over my shoulder.
Without words, the damn syllables didn’t mean shit anyways. I pushed his head onto the desk, and the thud of his skull bouncing off the wood sounded like peace of mind.
He needed brass knuckles from the 1600’s to fuck me up, when all I needed was opportunity.
Leaning down into his space, I kept pushing my hand into the back of his head. “I know you can hear me… You’re gonna die for what you did, so start praying to your false fucking gods, if you don’t wanna see me in Hell.”
Nyx
I knocked him out at his desk and forced Kate to grab his ankles just to see her squirm. He wasn’t dead or bleeding, but it was still crossing the invisible line that put a displeased expression on her face.
That expression wasn’t there enough to balance all the bitch and sass.
“Aren’t you, like, really strong? Is this necessary?”
She suffered enough at the end of the stairs, and I relieved her of the effort that tickled my fancy. Easily, I pulled him by his wrist letting his body drag against the sidewalk like sandpaper until I reached the car.
“There’s handcuffs in the backseat… grab them.”
Her mouth fell open, and all her features scrunched up into more disgust. “I don’t want to know why you have handcuffs in your car. Gross.”
“Don’t act vanilla, Kate. It’s your least favorite flavor. You like them harder to get than that, so I know you’ve gotta have more tricks.” My backhanded compliment didn't escape her when she threw the cuffs at my head, but still missed.
Thankfully.
Cuffing my prey up wasn't as satisfying as killing him. Patience wasn't a damn virtue. It was a pain in my fucking ass and keeping me from ridding the world of one more parasite.
“Where do we go now? You can't keep him at H’s place.”
I slammed the trunk down aggressively, hoping it would break his neck in the process. “Arcadia. It’s abandoned and perfect to hide a body.”
Her face dropped like I invited her to take the first stab.
“Relax. I didn't offer. He's all mine.”
Sliding in, I fished around my car for an extra joint, cigarette, anything that took the clarity out of the night air. Everything was suffocating and too emotional, even kidnapping the piece of shit in my trunk, because it all led back to Luna.
Luna was all the water I dehydrated into fire.
Kate actually stayed in the car when I asked her this time. It felt foreign being on Arcadia’s campus again. We all were frozen in our senior year, senior moments, senior feelings… The real world forced us to evolve in ways we couldn’t, not here.
All the buildings were crippled and dilapidated, exactly the way we saw when the ritual went sideways. Our gothic prison was just an illusion, a beautiful one, that had no holes for reality to slip through.
Dragging Dorian by the cuffs, I stepped over piles of stones that once built walls, and I yanked his body over the rubble, just before I dropped his hands with a thud against the cement.
I needed to find somewhere to secure him. I wasn't trying to hunt this asshole down again—not that he made it very hard to do the first time.
After I secured him to a still standing metal pole, I pushed the metal cuffs tighter to make sure he wasn’t going anywhere. He was still out, head slung down, and his eyes were shut like he was sleeping. I pushed my fingers to his pulse.
Still alive.
I wanted to beat him within an inch of death. I wanted to do a lot of things, but none of them were much fun when the victim wasn’t awake to feel the brunt of my pain.
Right now, I needed to see Luna.
I so badly wanted to pick up her pieces and glue them together that the whole ride back to the city my eyes watered, drowning, her element killing all my fire. My true element emerged.
With the back of my hand, I smeared the stray tears away, needing to be strong for her the same way she was for everyone else.
I didn’t even realize the car was in park until Kate’s hand touched my thigh gently, almost scared of my knee jerk reaction, letting me know we were there.
There being the old apartment building I used to live in, so I could be close to Luna. Kate was just across the street.
I contemplated meeting m
y own needs and holding Luna close to me just so I could be satisfied that she was safe with me.
Kate climbed out after pushing the seat back to where I originally had it, adjusted to my long legs. I didn’t move and had no plans to move, even to the driver’s seat.
Leaning over with her arms pressing into the window that was down, she said, “It’s nice to see your emotions on the outside, Nyx. They’re beautiful.” Her voice was soft and genuine. I wished every other emotion wasn’t screaming at me so I could hear her for what it was worth.
I decided against seeing Luna. I didn’t want her to choose me only because now we knew, without a doubt, that Dorian was bad. I wanted her to choose me because she wanted me, all of me—the bad, good, and in-between.
My decision didn’t change my position in the passenger’s seat. I still didn’t move, and I didn’t know when I passed out outside her building with my head uncomfortably on the edge, where the window was down and the morning air was chilling my face to the point of no return.
The back of my palm ran along my bottom lip, capturing any saliva that leaked out of me in this weird position.
Looking at my phone, I saw the time was 5:17 a.m. I wanted to go back to sleep, but here wasn't as comfortable as my own damn bed in another part of town, which wasn’t in close proximity to Luna's window.
Every day, I found myself outside her work making sure she came and went with no problems. Austin took her home most days on his motorcycle—the only part of him that I had come to respect.
He would never kidnap someone and torture them daily for Kate. I guess that was my problem with him. Bolton saw violence the same way I did: thrilling. And, Caellum fought on Friday nights just to not go unsatisfied.
Violence came as first nature, and everything else second.
After Austin took off with Luna holding onto him with his helmet on, I took off. I went back to Arcadia every night to visit my very abused pet.
Jumping over the rocks, I found Dorian on the ground, uncomfortable, and his face stuck with dried blood from last night. I still hadn't beat the grimace and pointed words out of him. “That time already, or you missed me?”
He either liked this... or was used to this.
Kneeling down to his level, I open handedly slapped his face in retribution for his last sarcastic remark. At this level, he smelled of his piss, sweat, and the faint metal stench of blood.
“No one is gonna miss you. I checked your house—no family, no real friends. You've been missing a week already.”
“Let me guess... Luna misses me. Bet she's even holding out hope I'll come back.”
Kate took his phone, monitoring the texts, and she was responsible for the one we sent that night. I didn't read it or listen when she read it back, but it was along the lines of never coming back.
Flicking my fingers, I produced a flame identical to my lighter in front of his face before lighting up. He didn't look shocked, and that shook something inside me.
Letting my flame lick his skin, tortuously slow, he pulled away, but I held his head in place. “Why Luna, Dorian?”
“Because she's easy,” he spat in my face, while the realization of what they did privately never truly crossed my mind. He continued seeing my hesitation, “Tell her she's pretty, hold her hand, listen… I didn’t even have to make any real effort. She chose me, making no effort, over the guy drooling for her. Stings, huh?”
With the slap of my knuckles against his cheekbone and flesh, I watched his head snap one direction. At this rate, I wasn't going to get a lot out of him or have him be conscious long enough to be tortured.
He deserved it.
Luna wasn’t easy. She was complicated, resilient, and the perfect balance of good and bad.
If Luna was easy, this wouldn't have ever happened, because she would have been mine a long time ago.
Standing back up, I left his now limp body contorted around the thick pole, all uncomfortable, and none of which I cared.
He was right; Luna was still holding out hope instead of taking it as a “praise Zeus” moment. There was no way in Hades I could bulldoze my way into her life now. I’d always be second to her worry, second to her mourning, second in general.
Caellum was calling a meeting—something we hadn't done since Alba boomed it and we left the ruins of Arcadia. At least, the meeting wasn’t going to be at Arcadia this time. Dorian’s misery was safely out of the way.
Out of my way, but never off my mind. I itched all over, all day, to fuck him up.
The meeting was at our place, so it was easy. I had time to shower and pretend I was just my normal amount of sour.
Once I got home, I started stripping as soon as the elevator doors closed behind me. I padded through our place that was the color palette of the Underworld (blacks, grays, reds, and oranges). Hades liked things Dad.
“Where do you go, little Prince of Darkness?” It's like I had missed curfew, and he was waiting at the kitchen island with a stiff drink for courage to reprimand me.
As far as dads go, Hades was the best option. We both had something dark living inside us, making us perfect to dole out punishments and influence some bad behavior.
“Nowhere I need permission from you to go.”
“I'm still King of the Underworld, until you accept my ring. Everything requires my permission.”
We had the same tone, same attitude, and same need to push each other past security.
Tossing his drink down his throat, he continued, “You needed me once, yelling to the stars. Here I am, and you refuse to need me now. Is it Luna?”
My body, grinding my spine into the doorframe, stopped swaying to meet his gaze. “What do you know about Luna?”
“I know a lot of things, Little Prince. I know that boyfriend is bad news. I know Caellum is cracking the mysteries you should all be slaving over. I also know you love her... You don't think I know when my own son is in love?”
I wasn't having this conversation, not today, tomorrow, or next year.
It only made her not being mine hurt worse.
Pushing off the crown moulding, I barked his direction as I walked by him, “Try not to fuck Kate this time.”
As much as he knew, I was cut from the same cloth.
Caellum tried to talk to me, but I threw up a hand, silencing him and continued stalking my way to my room—the only quiet place in this too big fucking place.
Pushing my pants and boxers down in one go, I strode to the shower to put it on hot, the only thing hot as home sometimes. My thoughts drifted to Luna being here soon, and my dick woke up at the mere delight of seeing her.
Wounds healed.
Heart heavy.
My forearms and forehead were against the slick shower wall, and my eyes shifted down at the water running towards the drain. Luna’s smile, Luna’s soft hands, Luna’s full lips wrapped around me—all making my dick jerk for attention.
There was no real time for Cotton Candy; that would collide with the meeting and Luna’s presence.
I had no option but to touch myself. Knowing Caellum, it was serious; there was no room for the infatuation my dick felt just from memories of my Luna.
The piercing at the tip pulsed along with my dick, practically begging for a hand.
My phone was vibrating against the vanity’s black marble with aggression that I couldn’t ignore. Ending my quiet time early, I got out, all wet, and pressed the green button, as I stood my phone up to lean against some candles on the counter.
Speaking of Hades, Cotton Candy was Face Timing me. That wasn’t unusual for this time of night. She had an affinity for getting off before bed, with or without my help.
Honestly, I don’t know how much I was helping as I was just aiding and abetting.
The screen was dark; a dim glow was the only thing outlining her features. I knew she could see almost every part of me, which made me uneasy. I liked to keep a level of mystery with people who weren’t permanent.
Space was the perfect way
to uphold that belief.
I didn’t even bother to towel off; there was no real point with her watching through the camera on my phone.
Stretching my arms and neck, I watched my muscles flex and push against my skin more, and I heard a breathy moan come from the speaker.
We rarely spoke during our exchanges at night; that wasn’t the purpose. It was sexual and impersonal, like a goodnight story with a happy ending.
My hips were pressed against the cold counter of the vanity, and the mirror was still all fogged up. My hand wrapped around my length tightly, teasingly so—in a way Luna would have done before she mustered up the strength to tell me what she wanted.
Luna’s touch didn’t just provide the obvious relief; it was more than skin deep.
With an angry fist, my hips pulled away from the edge of the counter only to drive back into it, creating my new rhythm. I wasn't even looking in the direction of my phone, with my eyes closed and Luna’s name on my tongue, just waiting to slip out.
Driving my hips forward and my length back into my tight fist, I felt the L of her name fall out with a quick inhale.
Every part of me pulsed, ached, needed her to be mine and only mine. Just when I thought she'd be mine, I was forced to wait out the mourning period.
My hips met up to my hand, taking over running along my length and forcing my muscles to contract but never release… not until I did.
I was lost in the quiet of my own world, when Luna’s voice said my name with a question at the end.
Wow, was I so turned on and in love with her that I was actually hallucinating? I can be okay with that.
A good kind of defense mechanism.
Muttering, “I gotta go,” I pressed the end call button quickly on Cotton Candy, trying to regain composure before I responded to the possible phantom in my bedroom.
Wrapping a towel around my waist, barely, every part of me was still very turned on.
It wasn't easy trying to catch my breath and force my muscles to unclench from humping my counter top with Luna’s body plastered to the walls of my mind.
I choked out, “I'm in here.” Oxygen was still bouncing around my lungs and burning my throat.